by Divya Singh
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After a dreamless sleep, I woke up at 11 am for an uneventful day. Nobody was around. Not even ZA-vi was around.
I dressed up in my white robes. I decided to look and act decent today. I decided to pay a visit to Despondra in the Emergency Ward 1207. I had to make sure that she was doing just fine. As I reached ward 1207, the emergency ward we had last left her at, I saw nothing but just a creepy silence and a flat calm. There was nobody attending her. The cardiograph machine was making the beeps indicating the presence of the heartbeat in her.
The oxygen mask fitted over her mouth was filled and was sparsely smeared with steamy tiny droplets meaning that she was breathing. Her chest rose up and dropped down in a very controlled and calm manner.
These all indications just meant that she was doing just fine. Still KEAH had said that her 24 next hours were crucial. Still, till now it was all good so far. I released a small sigh of relief and went up to the elevator alley. Lift stood right there as if waiting impatiently just for my arrival. I had no intention of exploration, so my fingers moved over a random button on the lift and went on to press 3.
As I stepped out on the floor number three, I felt that these were much like small bunkers meant just for the people living on the ship to live on here or return back to rest and leisure. All these rooms were locked up and packed as if, not have been used for too long, except for the two of those whose curtains gave way to seeing through what was in them but as I said earlier, I was not interested in exploring today.
I went until the end of the corridor, but the last alley which conjoined the two adjacent corridors had a transparent glass with a balcony. As I went nearer I noticed that this balcony was also covered by the glass dome. The sunbeams struck directly on to it; as I reached the edge of this balcony the green-blue ocean was visible at a distance.
It was the first time in this new life that I stood in the sunlight that too facing the beautiful calm but glistening water of the green stretched out the ocean. This balcony was the first floor in the open space of the ship. The ship’s edge was only a few yards away but still there was nobody on the open floor below or maybe it had been closed from inside with empty spaces left unused and inaccessible.
Then I happened to see at my faint reflection on the inverted glass of the dome. I saw a blue figure standing all alone. If it were not for just my reflection, I would have pitied at it. But being alone and lonely, standing out, distinguished and unaccepted was no longer a new concept to me.
I was not essentially a weak soul from the inside but, the whole detailed description of the previous life that Devon had made was a lot to take in and think about. His words were seemingly so real that I had imagined having done and gone through the exact same things that he had mentioned. It felt like being a sufferer of having done nothing which I could be held responsible for.
The sun, the sky, and the sea all were constant and had remained the same ever since just like me. They had stood unchanged, so had I. They were all permanent to the date, so was I. I was in effect, packed alone and thrown into a new and complicated world. Suddenly this all thinking reminded me of lines of an incomplete song-
Stranded alone through the tides of time
Came here for what? I don’t know now
Searching in the sand for my precious dime
Determined to follow the words of a vow
Stranded alone through the tides of time
Once I believe, there was a beginning
The spring and crops, the fresh rain drops
Then, there was a reason for ‘Birdie’ to sing
Woven in chosen words, a beautiful rhyme
Stranded alone through the tides of time
When the thunder struck, she lay asleep
later with a smash, everything broke
The rain, the rhyme and the promise to keep
‘Oh! Missed it!’ In grief, she’d soak
Stranded alone through the tides of time
The nullity of middle, bound future and the past
‘Nothingness’ exists, down the memory line
Death would come, reason to life was overcast
Back I came, to have what was mine
Stranded alone through the tides of time
Shook it! Broke it! Then tore it apart!
Give it up? Back it down? Will never back out!
What is now, here, shall never depart
Will breathe even after water fills up the snout
Darkness will flee with a little sunshine
Stranded alone through the tides of time
I don’t know what part of my memory held it up together for an immeasurable length of time. But it did sound to have been sung in a familiar voice. I thought somebody had, perhaps, envisaged my this day and wrote lines on me. Be it whatever, it just fits my situation perfectly.
I was a bit moved by the sadistic story of my past life narrated briefly by Devon. It shook my core up. I never had to believe anyone as much as I had to believe his words today. It was, however, apparent that I did not recollect from my memory, my version of what he had said about my life.
Now I needed my memory back, really badly! Otherwise, anybody could contemplate anything about my past and I was bound but to believe it. Still, there was no reason to reject what Devon said. I had felt it instantly that I have had a past connection with him and that his story about me was not entirely a falsified version.
He perhaps had been a part of my life. But going by what he described, I was perhaps a larger part of his life than he was, of mine. It sometimes felt like he meant every word he uttered. He claimed to have loved me all his life and even he had gone into cryopreservation to have another life beyond life to be a part of my life once again. He claimed his love for me even now.
But I instantly realized that my brain was not capable of understanding such an intense feeling as love. Love as I think now is a complicated concept, incapable of a definition or description or trust or my belief. I made up my mind, that I did not understand such an alienated concept as love.
If Devon feels love for me, I cannot stop him from feeling it for me, nor does it pose any threat to my well-being. If love is to come to me, it will so happen, regardless of what I decide to think or act upon. There is a lot of time in this life for me to understand human emotions, love being the top of the pyramid.
For then, I just thought that, If love was there, its power is too capable and cannot be underestimated, it cannot be hidden, and the time will manifest the worth and power of Devon’s words and feelings onto me. As of right now, I do not understand this high human emotion, nor am I interested in its existence or occurrence.
I do not have ample time to ponder over and explore about what thing love was in this precious life of mine. I need to discover or uncover the reason behind my rebirth. I have got to explore this newly devastated world rather, and there are various vices persisting in the present day societies which I have to investigate about.
I was born alone, deprived of parental love, care and upbringing in this life I have been reborn into, I have no relationships with anyone in this era. I am totally emotionally distant, inaccessible and alone in this world.
I am just an awakened corpse for today’s people that had been given a right to live again because the scenario has completely changed a great deal and now frozen corpses matter if they can be reanimated today because people are not procreated with ease in this era.
I am at terms with whatsoever I am now and I feel really, enormously, responsible for protecting and cherishing my right to living this life. I turned back towards my room and decided not to think any further about this all vicious cycle of brainstorming.
As I came back to my room, similar thoughts began to engulf me again. Just to avoid getting stuck in the whirlpool of disturbing thoughts I had to do something different now. I just sat on a retractable stool attached to the wall of my room, but then
got off it again and decided to tour the navigation chambers, to see if The Navigator could have been free to satiate my hunger of curiosity today.
Chapter 19: The exploration of The Navigator’s room and cockpit