by Gayle Eden
Alex walked closer and brushed a fallen leaf off his lapel. “You were in love?”
He seemed to think about it before murmuring, “Once. She died.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I was just a green boy.” He looked out beyond her then back. “That’s not the reason….”
“—Trust me, I understand. Not everyone wants marriage. Particularly, when you are titled or have money.”
His gaze held hers. “Yes. It’s always difficult to discern who is genuine and who is after those things.”
“I’m not after them.”
He grinned more fully this time and Alex liked the crinkles around his eyes, amazingly, the almost dimples in his cheeks. “I know that.”
Adam dropped the twig and reached out to touch the skin above her glove. “I look forward to the play, and dinner afterwards.”
“As do I.”
He pushed away and took her arm, tucking it in his as they strolled back to where the groom waited.
Alex saw Edmund coming down the path. He led his horse whilst talking with a buxom matron, who had two younger ladies with her.
“Auvary…” He stopped, as they would have passed.
“Edmund.”
The men were talking after Edmund acknowledged her with a slight bow. Alex tried to look anywhere but his muscled thighs in snug buff riding trousers, or the darker coat that strained his shoulders. Lord, but even the weak sun did amazing things with his raven hair and cat eyes. It was bloody difficult to ignore him. She even liked the sound of his voice. A voice she remembered….
“Yes, well. I shall let you be on your way. Good to see you, and Lady Ramsey….”
Alex spared him another glance, wishing she had not because those eyes seemed to burn through hers. Memory flashed in her head of that parlor. She turned swiftly and walked along with Auvary, trying to control her breathing and heartbeat.
“Sotherton hates being hunted.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. That was Elvina Mendel. She is forever bringing out some chit—daughters, granddaughters, and daughters of friends. She’s made it her mission to find the perfect one for Edmund.”
Despite the amusement in his voice, Alex breathed, “It must do wonderful things for his esteem, to be so sought after.”
“Edmund is a prize. He is always, sought after. I keep bloody telling him that the more aloof he is, the more determined they will be.”
“So he has never seriously courted either?”
“There are a few ladies he squires during the season. Edmund keeps everyone guessing.”
“Um.” She mounted her horse as he did and they rode back home.
Auvary parted with a reminder he would pick her up at eight.
Alex answered she was looking forward to it.
She really, honestly did want to get over the fixation with De Forrest. It had taken her months after leaving London to come down from the clouds that his passion put her in. He had done things to her that forever changed her ideas of sex. Without ever entering her body, he had taken her out of it and beyond.
It was everything that stolen hour; his grace, his sensuality —his intense hunger—And, heavens, but he was built like a carved statue. Even the very taste of his kisses and skin was sexual.
* * * *
Alex took a longer bath than usual, and then paced in her rooms, having four hours to waste before Auvary was to collect her. She stood by the window, gazing down at the small courtyard when Val entered.
Her hair silken down her back, Valerie too was bathed and waiting to dress for some ball her father had talked her into attending.
“Are you well?” Alex watched her sit on the edge of the bed.
“Yes. Of course.” Valerie’s lips curved in a smile. “Braced and braving up for another night amid the ton.”
“If you truly hate it, why don’t you tell father and—”
“I don’t hate it. Not the music and dancing, the better parts. I hate the worst of it and those who will whisper and talk. But, I knew that, Alex. I knew it before the divorce.”
Alex turned and leaned back against the sill, her arms crossed. “Did you love Leland?”
“I don’t know. A year ago, I would have said yes. However, I am not sure what it was. Part of me longed for someone of my own, a husband and child. It was something I always dreamed of, but not in a girlish way. Lord, but my mother would tell you that I had my head in books. I loved the sciences. I was quite fearless too. I do not really know how it happened. I admired Leland, or at least the man I thought he was. I believed an illusion, and when reality became too painful, I refused to let the illusion go.”
Alex considered that, and then nodded. “You deserve to be happy, and enjoy life.” She walked to her and took her hands. “You’re beautiful. Quite stunning. I want you to laugh, to dance, and to pretend no one exists tonight…”
“I shall.” Val stood and hugged her, almost a head taller and full figured she laughed and set Alex back, regarding her as she held her shoulders. “It is strange. Is it not, how none of us wrote or grew up together, and yet it is if we all know each other on some level?”
“Pieces of papa, Jo calls it. She says, it is the parts of him we share that make us alike. The parts of our mothers are what keep us unique.”
“Likely so.”
Alex watched her turn to leave. “Was there something you wanted?”
Val turned at the door, her mink hair sliding over her arms like a cape. “Oh—I wanted to tell you, don’t let my mistakes color your choices. If it be Auvary, or another. Life is a risk.”
When she had gone, Alex murmured, “Let it be Auvary, because I don’t think Edmund De Forrest will ever let himself be real with me again.”
Hours later, Alex was a dressed in black sheer stockings, her figure outlined in a gown, which was a lovely off the shoulder crimson and black. The bodice was low. Her breast pillowed up with help from the band under them. The straight skirt of the gown was offset by a net overskirt, sparkling with faux minute rubies and diamonds. Her hair had been piled up rather wonderfully. A silver band with rubies and faux diamonds peeked through the curls. Long black gloves, and a ruby cape with black lining, lay on the bed. Her pumps were crimson with black heels.
She regarded her image, lips salved and lashes darkened, remembering days at Hawksmoor in trousers and linen shirt, her hair down and tangled as she rode or played some sport with Jo—who was so fierce one had to play with blood and guts. Alex smiled and mentally shook her head. Back in the schoolroom with her grandfather, she had never dreamed she would ever put much effort into fashion and hair. Back, before an hour with Edmund—she’d never felt sexual—never had to fight very real memories of what a man’s mouth and hands could do.
“Stop it, Alex.”
“Milady?” The maid looked over from the wardrobe.
“Nothing, Molly. Talking to myself.” Alex allowed the maid to help her with the gloves and cape. She was half way down the stairs when Auvary entered.
Standing at the bottom, in a long cape, and what looked like all black, the Earl seemed to lose his tongue until she was nearly standing next to him.
“You’re stunning, Alex.”
She smiled into his dark eyes. “You look handsome.”
His grin was dry. “I thank you, although I believe my knees went weak watching you descend those stairs.”
Out in his coach, she looked across as he settled in and admitted, “I’m not as fixated on fashion as Jo is.”
“Jo—likes to shock people.” He smiled short and let his gaze go down her. “You’ve good taste.”
“I’m petite. So the only things I keep in mind are colors, and no frills and bows.”
“Simplistic and elegant.”
Alex grinned and they watched the evening traffic for some time, loud and clustered on some streets and the usual madness of crowds, coaches, buggies and people on horseback. The passing lantern lights flickered inside the coach. Whilst the d
river was trying to set them out at the theater, she glanced over to find Auvary looking at her. Alex knew he would kiss her before the night was over.
The show was an entertaining one Alexandria enjoyed. She shared several moments of it with Auvary—and teased him when he actually laughed aloud. They were satisfied with an enjoyable evening when departing, and she stood on the dark footpaths with him so he could enjoy a cheroot before they headed to the hotel.
Admiring much about his dark masculine figure, the mature man he was, she watched him rinse his mouth with brandy from a flask, and then took a sip he offered her afterwards.
They were standing close. Alex saw the reflections in his dark eyes when as eased her hood back and cupped her face.
“You have a face to haunt a man, Alex.”
“I hope not.” The quip came out husky.
He shook his head. “Beautiful. Too beautiful.”
Alex let her hands rest on his arms. His head dipped. His mouth was warm, slightly flavored with brandy. When he began to kiss her, his skill alone was stirring. Parting for his tongue, she rose on tiptoe and let the kiss happen, the glide of tongues and intimate exchange with a man who had kissed many—and did it well.
Lifting an inch from her, his dark lashes were half-mast, face taut. He rasped, “Stop me now, Alex or I’ll forget myself.”
Alex felt the rush of heat in him, the tension in his body. She was no fool. It was too soon and her emotions were too unsteady. “I’m starved, aren’t you?”
He hugged her to him slightly, before sighing, in resignation or relief she did not know. He took her arm and they were soon in the coach, talking of the play and Alex asking him a bit of his estates.
Dinner and wine was wonderful despite a few whispers and stares. Auvary ignored them, thus she did. He kissed her once more, moments before the coach stopped at her father’s house.
Alex, her head back against the cushions, regarded his half-shadowed face. “I had a wonderful time.”
“As did I.” He kissed her again, softly, then saw her out and left her in the foyer after saying adieu.
The others were not back, so Alex retired.
She did not sleep. She was too confused to sleep.
Whilst she felt the right sort of attraction to Adam, she did not succeed in completely banishing Edmund from her thoughts tonight.
Bloody hell. She rolled to her stomach, eyes closed tightly. There is nothing there, Alex. He is not going to pursue you. You are fooling yourself. Let it go. Enjoy your life. You could have something exciting with Adam if you would only let yourself.
Chapter Four
In the next few weeks, her father’s circle of friends closed ranks.
They attended teas, private suppers, and balls. Alex got to know Auvary, and although he mentioned the war briefly—he did not wish to speak of it in detail. She had the cognizance that it had changed him and respected his choice to not delve into those memories. He was intelligent, well read, and he enjoyed everything most of the men did, his clubs, racing and the lot—and he had had many women in his life.
That bit did not surprise her, although he did not name names. Alex got the impression that aside from mistresses, he had tryst in his past with some of the known women of the ton, who looked for a discreet and somewhat dangerous lover. It was easy to see the attraction; Auvary was quiet, but intense. When he focused on a woman—it was quite stimulating.
He could be brooding, and seem to pull back into some darker place. However, with her, he was respectful. There was a male and female sexual attraction that he clearly struggled with limiting—and counted on her to remind him to keep in check.
Alex discovered through their conversation that he had had a brother who should have inherited the titles and lands—who died in a hunting accident at seventeen. Again no details. It was simply an answer to one of her casual questions about his family. His parents were never the same, the mother never leaving her rooms, and his father drinking himself to death. It was apparent that the trauma of it altered the whole family’s existence. It changed his destiny.
Edmund became more visible at their house, showing up once for breakfast and several times in the afternoon. He was her father’s friend, as was the Viscount, who was often there or at some ball, they attended.
Alex caught herself observing Edmund with Val, whom he took care to sit and talk with, coaxing a smile from her and being bloody charming. He even brought her some books from his collection and scientific magazines they discussed enthusiastically. He got an invitation to a lecture, too.
Alex wanted to be irritated at his calling nearly every day, but then his raven hair glowing under the lights, his sensual face, and those high cheekbones would distract her. During one luncheon, she watched him speaking to Jo and her father, and every time his lips moved, she caught herself drifting back to his sister’s house.
It was incident destined to haunt her forever.
They were at the Opera on that following Friday as a family, having spent two days preparing for herself and Val to travel to Hawksmoor, the following Monday with Van Wyc. There were small things to see to with the tenants and some business Van Wyc could take care of. Val had said she needed a small break, and Alex blurted that she could too—not even knowing why until she admitted to herself that Edmund’s ignoring her made her angry.
Moreover, that she was half-afraid that Auvary would pop the question, and she was not ready for it.
She was a disgusting coward suddenly.
But tonight at the opera, her father looked handsome in his formal black and white, Jo in emerald green lace and Val in lavender velvet and diamonds, with head high. Val was preoccupied but working through her private problems. Being aware of talk, they showed force as a family, determined as Val was, to brave whispers and stares.
Van Wyc sat back from the family, quieter than usual and likely struggling too, with what that old witch had whispered during the supper. Leland, even gone, was still causing problems in their lives.
Alex had dressed in a mink hued sheathe with small pearls at her wrist and ears. Her hair had been drawn up, with a fall of curls in the back. Her wrap for the strapless gown was a sheer sparkling white, which lay along her elbows. Her gloves were velvet, matching a band of it under her breasts. She noted when the Earl of Sotherton entered his box. Heads turning and whispers greeted his arrival, not all from the appearance of the duchess with him, because the earl looked particularly handsome and aloof, in his all black attire.
The lights caught a jasper pin on his neck cloth, which she surmised would be unique too, having noticed the clothes he wore were normally embroidered with gold thread. She deduced the style was one he cultivated. The silks and satins and embroider had that exotic flair. As he undid his dress coat, it too had a lining of exotic silk in amber and green tones.
The Duchess, Lady Summerton, looked quite striking with her raven hair up and shimmering with pearls. Her gown was high necked but sheer in sleeves, and dotted in seed pearls where the sheer neck and chest met the low V bodice, a color that looked like silken gold and brown, depending on the light hitting it. It was the first time Alex noticed that the siblings actually looked alike. They were very impressive seated side by side. Both held themselves a certain way, occasionally leaning and talking. They showed similar grace and confidence in themselves. It reminded her again of Edmund’s rep for detached arrogance. It reminded her too much of the times her father called him a man of utmost control and self-assurance.
During an intermission, Edmund brought his sister to their box. Alex curtsied along with her sisters. After her father kissed the duchess’s hand, she found herself facing the woman, whilst Edmund and the others talked.
Those deep brown eyes met hers. There was no mistaking the small smile of the duchess’s lips as she relayed, “I hope Edmund relayed to you that I extended an invitation for you to join me on any Sunday when the house is normally empty, in my private quarters.”
Flushing, Alex reali
zed the woman knew of that encounter four years ago. She murmured, “You must not think I normally skulk about people’s homes.”
“No. I am sure you do not. Think nothing of it.” Her eyes moved to Valerie and then back. “I’m sorry for her troubles.”
Alex had heard something of the duchess’s background. “You must accept my fathers—and our invitations, in the future, once Val and I return from a week at Hawksmoor. I’m positive Val could use a friend who understands things she cannot confide in us.”
The older woman nodded. “If I can be of any help. None of us can control another. Betrayal of any kind is crushing. Years of abuse—words or otherwise, take time working through.”
She was looking at Alex in a way that made Alex aware that Edmund had shared intimate confidences with her. That shocked Alex, because he seemed so—well, self-contained. Not like that man in the parlor. However, that very contrast drove her daft.
The duchess went on, “When you return, the invitation stands. There is a private entry to my quarters. Unless of course…”
“I’d be delighted. And no, you should never mistake us with the rest of society.” Alex laughed. “We’re the talk of London ourselves. I don’t think you’ll find a Ramsey who is fast to judge others.”
Alex glanced over at Edmund—who just happened to turn those cat eyes on her at that moment. A few seconds of silent, magnetism and she almost forgot where she was.
The duchess murmured, “Edmund can hardly keep his eyes off you, even when we were in the box.”
Alex jerked her gaze back to the duchess, taking in that smile. “He’s very good at ignoring me.”
“Yes. He has a habit of keeping himself remote in public or around others.” The woman glanced at her brother and then back to Alex. “There is certainly a current between you.”
“He’s an attractive man.” Alex cleared her throat just as her father leaned in to invite the duchess and Edmund to join them after the play for dinner at the hotel.
Edmund accepted for them both, and before exiting with his sister on his arm, he leaned down so his lips nearly brushed Alex’s ear and murmured, “You look ravishing, Alexandria.”