On the carriage ride home last night, Lady Arlsley had been alternately upset and relieved. ‘Dellamont’s attentions kept us from disaster, bless him,’ she exclaimed after the vehicle set off from Thaxford House. ‘With him failing to repudiate you, no one is sure whether to believe the rumours or not. After all, society couldn’t imagine Dellamont would continue to pay attention to girl socially so far beneath him if he’d already had her.’
To which Marcella replied with asperity, ‘I’m pleased you have so much faith in my virtue.’
Glaring at her, Lady Arlsley demanded, ‘Well, are the rumours true? Did you give yourself to Dellamont? Or to any other man?’
Disgusted, Marcella replied, ‘I shall not dignify those vulgar questions with an answer.’
A night’s repose had left her sponsor still upset and uncertain. Marcella had barely handed Mary her pelisse when Lady Arlsley began questioning her again, and when she still refused to disclose any further details, cried, ‘You ungrateful chit! Don’t you realise that your disgrace threatens my good name as well?’
She’d not been able to refrain from snapping back, ‘If you had bothered to accompany us on the garden walk, you would know nothing happened. But you may rest easy on one score. I expect Dellamont to call this afternoon. I don’t wish to speak with anyone else, however, so I will await him in the garden.’
Stomping out of the parlour, she’d called for Mary to bring back her pelisse and escaped the house.
Would Crispin find a way to get them out of this imbroglio? He was very clever, and he knew the workings of society much better than she did. Although she was truly not concerned about her own reputation, she hated that anyone might believe he had acted so badly. Despite what anyone thought, she refused to feel embarrassed or ashamed because a vicious, venal man had tried to ruin her.
Nor had she any interest in trying to defend herself. In her opinion, their best course of action was to follow through on her original plan: let her bid Lady Arlsley goodbye this very afternoon, and terminate a presentation she’d never wanted.
What would his suggestion be?
After pacing through several circuits around the park, she heard her name called, and looked up to find him striding towards her.
Her pleasure at seeing him softened the edge of her disgruntlement. She went to meet him, happy to give him her hand to kiss. ‘You must trust me,’ he said, smiling down at her. ‘You’ve not even stationed Mary here to keep watch over us.’
‘But I’m already a ruined woman, remember?’ she said wryly. ‘Therefore I have no reputation to protect. Jesting aside, Mary does trust you. She credits you with ensuring I came to no harm when I attended the Stephenson lecture.’
‘Which is my object today. To make sure no one does you any harm. Including that bastard Hoddleston, whom I wish even more fervently than you that I could call out. However satisfying that would be, it’s not an effective solution.’
‘Have you come up with something that would be?’
‘There is really only one remedy.’ Before she realised what he intended, he dropped down to one knee. ‘Marcella Cranmore, will you do me the great honour of becoming my wife?’
She froze, strong emotions clashing within once her shocked brain made sense of his words.
Fury that there was no way to counter Hoddleston’s vile accusations. Awe and admiration for a sterling character that was willing to protect hers, regardless of the cost. And a deep, dangerous desire to disregard all the good reasons she should refuse and accept the hand of this exceptional man.
So difficult was that temptation to resist, she blurted out the first response that came to her lips once she forbade herself to say ‘yes’.
‘I thought you were offering an escape, not a trap! Please, Crispin, get up.’
He laughed as he rose to his feet. ‘I’m not sure I shouldn’t be highly insulted that you consider my heartfelt declaration a trap.’
Pressing on to keep temptation at bay, she said, ‘I told you long ago that I didn’t care one bit about my reputation among the ton. My family knows my true character, so once I leave society for ever, their opinion will not affect me. As long as what Lady Arlsley told me is true—that you would suffer no lasting harm from the scandal. Feeling pettish at thinking herself a victim in this, she said whenever a scandal happens, the blame is always laid on the woman. That when you are ready to wed, the competition to snag a future earl will erase any doubts about marrying you this affair might have created in the minds of eligible ladies or their mamas.’
He nodded. ‘Completely unfair, but that’s the way of the world. My reputation might be temporarily tarnished, but the gilded coronet in my future will soon restore its lustre.’
‘Then, though I’m immensely touched that you have made me an offer, there’s really no need.’ To remind herself as much as Crispin, she continued, ‘Neither of us should be forced into marriage before we are ready. Certainly not at the behest of a dissolute like Hoddleston! It should be our choice when and how we wed.’
Finally allowing herself to voice the question for which she really needed an answer, she added, ‘Unless...unless you’ve experienced a change of heart since we last spoke about the matter of marriage?’
She held her breath, but after a moment, shaking his head, he looked away. ‘No, not really. But I can’t abide having a dissolute like Hoddleston ruin your good name.’
A stab of disappointment struck her. Summoning up what she hoped was a breezy smile to mask the pain, she said, ‘He can’t ruin it. Not where it matters to me, in my world. It’s unlikely anyone there will ever hear any tales of what supposedly happened at Norwalk House, and those who know me wouldn’t believe it if they did hear anything.’ She laughed shortly. ‘They would be more likely to attribute it to the right place, the arrogant venality of aristocrats who look down on everyone else. So, no more talk of a declaration. You are sure this will not harm you permanently?’
‘Other than with my father, no. He’ll probably believe the rumours and be furious that I put temporary pleasure over acquiring filthy lucre.’
‘Surely not,’ she protested, once again pained that he believed his own father could think so poorly of him.
Crispin shrugged. ‘Maybe not, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. In any case, he’ll be incensed that I didn’t secure your dowry, regardless of the scandal.’
‘Since we are both agreed on not wishing to be forced into marriage, shall we keep to our original purpose? Leave society now, with you departing for places unknown for a safe interval. After which we may meet again later, as...as dear friends and colleagues?’
He studied her face, and for a moment, she thought he meant to say something—that on second thought, he’d changed his mind? That he wanted to explore the possibility of becoming something more than friends?
But when he did speak, with a wry smile, he said, ‘I suppose that means you are refusing my proposal.’
Surprising how much it hurt to agree, but somehow she managed to summon a smile. ‘I suppose it does.’
‘You are sure?’
Once she had been completely sure. Now, unsettled and facing the prospect of his imminent departure from her life, she wasn’t sure at all. But he, it appeared, entertained no doubts about continuing simply as friends. Which settled the matter.
‘I think I must be.’
Dellamont blew out a breath, which Marcella could only interpret as relief. ‘Part of me feels I should insist, in order to save your good name. But another part knows I must honour your choice.’
Which was really his choice, too, else he would have pressed her harder. Declare his affections had become so engaged, he could now seriously consider the possibility of wedding her.
That he did not was an omission that required her to refuse him under any circumstances. Even though the mixture of dread and distress she now f
elt made her fear that despite her best efforts, she’d somehow allowed her own emotions to become too engaged.
‘Then honour my choice. To maintain our friendship, trust and mutual admiration in a relationship that progresses at the pace we choose.’
‘That is truly what you prefer?’ When she nodded, he said, ‘Then we will make it so.’
She would have to be content with that. She would be content with that, she vowed to herself.
‘With my supposed reputation in tatters, I see no point in going through the final week I’d expected to remain in society. I might as well make my exit now.’
‘You don’t want to face down the disapproving hordes before you go? Not let it appear they have forced you out?’
‘I’m normally a fighter, but that fight would have no point. My staying wouldn’t change any opinions. To most of society, I’m now not merely low-born and ill bred, I’m a low-born, ill-bred lightskirt. Leaving will save Lady Arlsley further embarrassment. I can return to Papa telling him that I have done what was asked of me and the situation is now truly intolerable.’
‘Very well, then. If that is what you wish, that is what we will do.’
What she’d really wish was for him not to leave her. But that was impossible, so she had better stiffen her spine, curtail further foolish imagining, and face the facts. ‘You will leave immediately, too? Before the Earl learns of your intention, and tries to take you—or your poor mother—to task?’
‘Yes. I’ll escort Mama back to Montwell Glen as soon as she can make ready, to ensure the Earl can’t abuse her, at least not until his initial anger cools. And leave on my explorations from there.’
‘Then I suppose this is goodbye,’ she said, steeling herself to say the words aloud.
‘But we haven’t had time to figure out how or when we will meet again.’
‘You intend to be out of London for a good while. Call at Papa’s office, if you wish, when you return, and see if we are still in London. We can figure out something then.’
Once again, she hoped he would protest and insist that they pin down now a definite time to meet again. But that sudden upswing of hope plummeted just as quickly when, after staring into the distance, at last he nodded. ‘Yes. I suppose you are right. We can figure it out...later.’
This really would be goodbye, then. The pain that lanced through her was sharp enough, she just barely kept herself from wincing. Putting a hand at her chest to ease it, she made herself smile.
‘I’ve kept you long enough. But you must let me thank you again. I’ve enjoyed our bargain far more than I ever imagined I would. I’ll be grateful to you for gifting me with the Stephenson lecture for the rest of my days.’
‘It will be a treasured memory for me, too.’
He couldn’t treasure their time together as much as she had, or he wouldn’t be letting her send him away.
But she was being foolish. Did she really want him to press her, when marrying him would mean endless repetitions of the snubs she’d received at the ball last night? Murmurs of the scandal might fade for a man, but never for the woman involved. Did she want to let herself suffer the indignity of having her friendship forbidden to others, like the Earl had forbidden it to Lady Margaret?
Lose for ever even a nodding proximity to the engineering world?
Austin’s gentle affection would soothe the ache left in the wake of Dellamont’s departure. If she could groom their long attachment into a deeper bond, secure and safe where she belonged, her distress would ease and her enthusiasm for their shared future revive.
She just needed to sever her ties to Crispin before the pain cut any deeper.
So she stood, wooden, uttering the appropriate courtesies, curtsying to his bow. Then he was gone, the garden suddenly duller, chillier, as if all brightness and colour had been stripped from it.
Not able to prevent herself, she hurried over to the garden wall. Peeking through the gate, she watched as a few moments later he descended the front entry steps, fitted his beaver hat on his head, and walked off to collect his phaeton. Without a backward glance.
Angrily she swiped at tears she vowed she would not shed.
There was no reason to feel despondent. Lord Dellamont—she would no longer think of him as ‘Crispin’—had made no secret from the first that he didn’t wish to marry. Obviously, nothing they had shared had given him enough reason to change his mind. If she’d thought he’d proposed because he actually wanted her...she might have given in to temptation and accepted.
But his offer had clearly been made only out of duty. Returning the refusal he hoped for and expected had been the only prudent thing to do.
It was time to cauterise the raw edges of her bleeding heart, end this chapter and move on to the next phase of her life.
* * *
After giving herself a few more minutes to settle her uncertain emotions, Marcella returned to the drawing room, which fortunately at the moment was empty of callers.
‘I asked Dellamont to stay for tea, but he refused,’ Lady Arlsley said as she entered. ‘I had hoped you had reached an...understanding.’
‘If you are asking whether or not I’m going to marry him, the answer is “no”.’
Alarm flared in Lady Arlsley’s eyes. ‘At the least, assure me that he is not going to drop you, or you are truly ruined!’
‘Let me just say that you have nothing further to worry about.’ Before Marcella could inform her sponsor that her onerous chaperonage duties were over, the butler appeared at the door.
‘Lord Hoddleston has arrived, asking to speak with Miss Cranmore.’
‘Saints be praised!’ Lady Arlsley exclaimed. ‘Perhaps you do have one option left. Show him in, Mannering.’
‘Should you not ask whether I wish to see him?’ Marcella asked as the butler bowed himself out to do his mistress’s bidding.
‘That’s of no importance,’ her sponsor snapped back. ‘We may salvage something from this disaster yet.’
If Marcella had had any doubts about who had started the rumours, Hoddleston’s appearing today, probably to gloat over his accomplishment, dispelled them. He was about to discover that she hadn’t just been making idle claims when she vowed she’d never consider his suit, she thought, pressing her lips together in determination.
The Baron walked in and made them an extravagant bow. ‘Good day, ladies. You are looking lovely, but a bit...pale, Miss Cranmore. As I can well imagine, after suffering such a distressing evening.’
‘You certainly contrived to make it so,’ Marcella said acidly. ‘In any event, it may prove to be a relief.’
‘Perhaps you would allow me a moment alone to speak with your charge, Lady Arlsley?’
‘There is no need for her to leave,’ Marcella countered. ‘There is nothing we have to say that can’t be said in front of her.’
‘Tender moments shouldn’t have...outside witnesses, my dear,’ he said with a pointed glance that she knew was a reminder of the episode in the maze. ‘You can hardly be unaware that I conceived a constant affection for you almost from the first time I met you, Miss Cranmore. That regard was...shaken by the disaster that has sullied your reputation, but ultimately could not destroy it. I would have some privacy to—’
‘A constant affection for my dowry, you mean,’ Marcella interrupted. ‘And I will never be your “dear”. As I have told you on several occasions, I will not marry you. I wouldn’t consider your suit when Lord Dellamont was paying his attentions, and I am no more interested in them now that society has deemed me an outcast. As I have also advised you numerous times, you will have to find relief for your monetary difficulties elsewhere. I should even think you would be relieved to look elsewhere. You never truly wanted to give your proud and ancient name to a “jumped-up cit’s granddaughter who doesn’t know her place”. Now, I believe there is nothing further to be said. G
ood day, Lord Hoddleston.’
His falsely tender smile fading, Hoddleston cried, ‘You think you can just dismiss me? Do you still harbour illusions that Dellamont will come riding in like some medieval knight to rescue his lady? But of course, I’m forgetting. How could I expect someone of your background to understand the workings of the ton? Let me point out the stark truth. Dellamont will never offer his name to a woman who has disgraced herself.’
‘That’s not quite accurate. You disgraced me. I shall no longer be attending Lady Arlsley’s at-homes, so you needn’t call again. Must I summon the butler to escort you out?’
Marcella stared at him, her coldly implacable gaze never wavering.
At length, Hoddleston looked away. ‘I can see myself out, thank you. Good day, Lady Arlsley. As for you, Miss Cranmore—’
‘I believe the conventional response is goodbye. For ever, Lord Hoddleston.’ Giving him the barest of curtsies, she turned her back on him and walked over to the window.
Lady Arlsley waited only until the door closed behind Lord Hoddleston before exploding, ‘Are you out of your mind? You just dismissed your last and only chance to your salvage your reputation!’
‘It wasn’t my only chance. As it happens, Lord Dellamont also made me offer this morning—he being an honourable gentleman who did not wish to see my name sullied by false and malicious rumours. Which, as I believe his appearance here just confirmed, were orchestrated by Lord Hoddleston. When I told the Baron repeatedly that I’d never accept him, he always replied that he would wait until after Dellamont rejected me and see what my answer would be then. I suppose he grew tired of waiting, or perhaps his financial difficulties grew too pressing. So he tried to engineer that result himself by manufacturing those rumours. He has such a low opinion of me, he was certain the scandal would drive Dellamont away, leaving me with no other option but to marry him.’
‘Nor do you have any,’ Lady Arlsley retorted. ‘Don’t you realise that, you stupid girl?’
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