by Melanie Rose
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
LAID 2 REST
TWO HALVES OF A WHOLE
BY MELANIE ROSE
Laid 2 Rest: Two Halves of a Whole
Copyright © 2013 by Melanie Rose. All rights reserved.
First Kindle Edition: January 2013
Cover and Formatting: Streetlight Graphics
Editor: Janet Rapada Jamison
All rights reserved. This eBook is licensed for the personal enjoyment of the original purchaser only. This eBook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this eBook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.
DEDICATION
I would like to dedicate this book to my son... my sole reason for breathing and to my father... for accepting me exactly as I am.
PROLOGUE
WAY BACK WHEN…
“DADDY, IT’S STILL RAINING OUTSIDE. The plants must be really thirsty tonight, huh?”
“You’re too smart for your own good, little Ms. Missy!” My father beamed at me with sparkling emerald eyes.
“But how does God know when they’ve had enough to drink and what does He send them when they’re hungry? What do plants like to eat anyways? Chicken nuggets like me?”
“Slow down child,” he said laughing wholeheartedly at my silliness, before I could really get myself going. “Always full of questions. Well since you asked, unlike us, plants only need rain and sunshine in order to survive, but it’s rich, healthy soil that really makes their roots grow big and strong. So that when the time is right, a few of the lucky ones will blossom and become a beautiful flower… just like YOU.”
“You’re silly, dad. I’m not a flower.”
“Oh, but you are indeed,” he said proudly, kissing the tip of my nose before tucking me tight into bed. “Never change or lose sight of who you are, Missy. One day, when you’re much older, your petals will bloom as bright as a rainbow… after a long, hard soak in the rain.”
CHAPTER ONE
CURRENT DAY…
HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE your spouse or significant other was sucking the life right out of you?
Well, welcome to my world.
Obviously, whoever had dreamt up ‘till death do you part’ wasn’t exactly married. Seeing how your partner could one day turn into a life sucking leech all because they couldn’t manage to function on their own anymore and greedily insisted on feeding off your soul to support their own pitiful existence. Shouldn’t that be considered an automatic vow breaker right there?
I think so!
The idea that anyone would willingly signup for a lifetime of that garbage just doesn’t compute in my mind. Then to make matters worse, why don’t you go ahead and deduct communication, trust, and any kind of sex and what are you left with exactly? Not a hell of a lot. So marriage null and void, right?
Yeah, I wish.
Things weren’t always so awful between my husband and I. When we were dating, things were happy-go-lucky and multi-colored rainbows. It was when I stupidly made the error of saying “I Do” that things started to plummet downhill and I quickly realized that I had not married the man who I thought I had.
I should have known better. This was the second time I had made the mistake of saying those two ugly little words. Unfortunately, instead of getting married at the cute little corner chapel down the street (that probably wasn’t legal anyways) like the first time around, I somehow got suckered into having the so-called wedding of my dreams. A full-blown, traditional Catholic ceremony with all the dings and dongs, which of course, included me, having to parade around in a ridiculously puffy, pure white ball gown.
Yuck! Just the visual of it makes me want to gag.
Therefore, not only did I say “I Do” but I vowed them to a Priest in the House of the Lord, in front of a church full of my family and friends, sealing my fate and making my nightmare a lot more permanent than I would have liked. What in the world was I thinking?
I wasn’t!
Simple right? I’m woman enough to admit that I had bad judgment.
Again.
Therefore, I’m dealing with it one day at a time.
Well, sort of.
Most nights, I found myself lost in my over active imagination, dreaming up new ways to put an end to my misery. My brain couldn’t seem to help itself, transporting me frequently out of my daily state of loneliness into countless evenings filled with obscene amounts of sexual bliss with a pet love slave that never got tired of tending to my every need. Being seduced to my heart’s content without ever hearing him utter a single complaint about being too tired, his back hurt or him having an orgasm 30 seconds into the act, quickly became a favorite little escape of mine.
After you have imagined all the different possibilities… a million different ways, my husband Diego was a sad, SAD substitute, compared to my make-believe, 24-hour, gorgeous jack rabbit.
Gees, a girl can dream, can’t she?
Sometimes, I just shake my head and wonder where I went wrong in life. Why was I dealt such a sucky hand? How did I manage to get to the point where I stopped believing in everything and everyone? Becoming a cold ice princess, numb to the world around her… jaded would probably be the best way to describe myself nowadays. I used to be so different.
Once upon a time, I was strong-minded and confident. A real go-getter, I knew what I wanted out of life and wasn’t remotely intimidated about going out there and getting it. I just grabbed the bull by the pointy end and said screw it to everything else! Let the pieces fall where they may.
It wasn’t like me to sit around and wait for stuff to just magically happen… I preferred to make shit happen!
My future wasn’t exactly supposed to turn out like this. Being completely shut down like I was; I basically learnt to accept over time that this is my own personal hell on earth for better or for worse. Closed off from the world around me, I sealed my emotions away to protect myself from being harmed anymore than necessary until I was nothing more than an empty shell of my once former radiant self.
It’s sad really. I cannot help but remember a couple of forks in the road of my life, which obviously I chose the wrong path. But who knew? I was so young and dumb at that stage, bursting with high hopes and insanely bright ideas that I didn’t know any better. I wanted to do and try any and everything. I was unstoppable, a force to be reckoned with.
Now it was all gray skies with the chance of rain. A good day simply consists of me having the strength to crawl out of the bed in the morning.
What I wouldn’t give to be able to do things different
ly knowing everything that I know now. Wouldn’t that be great, folks? To get a redo at life. Just to change a few minor little details.
My name is Jasmine Wynn and at the ripe old age of thirty-five, I spend most of my days working as a licensed massage therapist out of my cozy home office in New Mexico.
Having tried several other unfulfilling occupations like the dreaded post office, designing baby bedding, purchasing… I even ran a cable TV office many years ago, however, none of them managed to hold my attention for very long.
This was the first time it felt like I didn’t have an actual job-job. I had a calling instead, something that I was passionate about. For once, I wasn’t hell bent on doing the responsible adult thing, what was expected of me, a daily grind making thousands of dollars a year killing myself for a boss whose face I wanted to rip off on a daily basis.
This time around, when the opportunity arose, I told my last employer where he could stick my job and went back to school. Massage therapy school, that is.
Why massage you ask? Because the health benefits are endless… why else? Duh.
Making the switch was an easy and natural decision for me. Knowing I wanted to help heal people, but couldn’t stomach being around blood, needles or vomit… massage was an obvious alternative.
It didn’t take long for my regular clients to become my extended family, where we could share life’s little difficulties with one another freely. Their commitment and loyalty helped me as much as I helped them most of the time and being so far away from my real family, I was extremely blessed to have them in my corner.
In truth, they were the only lifeline I had left, keeping me afloat… preventing me from drowning. While massaging, I was totally in my element; I had a real gift for it. There’s nothing like aiding a person so they can once again simply bend down and tie their shoelaces on their own or helping them relieve the tension in their neck enough to stop their daily migraines.
Good at what I do, I’m proud of myself for having the courage to have made such a big change in my life four years ago regardless of what anyone else thought about it. Folks believed it was too late in the game for me to make a major switch like that, but they just didn’t get it.
They didn’t get me.
Once someone told me I couldn’t do something, it became a challenge for me to prove him or her wrong. I don’t know when I became so self-righteous… so anal… but there it is in a nutshell.
Massaging eventually became the only time that I was not bombarded with a laundry list of life regrets, anger, and loneliness that seemed to take up the rest of my day. The only time that I was actually in “the land of the living” because in reality, I was truly and utterly… dead inside.
My husband was not a bad man by any means; don’t get me wrong, people. He just didn’t turn out to be the kind of person I envisioned myself growing old and wrinkly with. He changed somewhere along the way and for the life of me, I cannot figure out how to change him back.
We used to be similar in so many ways. We complimented each other and we could talk for hours at a time without getting bored. We had fun together… enjoyed each other, we laughed and played as any normal couple should. We even shared the same outlook on life, but these days… we’re not even on the same wavelength.
Acting as if he was my child instead of my husband, Diego found he was unable to make simple day-to-day decisions on his own anymore, leaving me to do all the thinking for the two of us. It drove me completely berserk.
He just sat and waited in front of the big screen TV for me to bark out orders to him like a robot, to only nod in agreement with everything I said and did without commenting or voicing an opinion in return. He didn’t offer me any advice, another point of view or any words of encouragement, unless I went to him first and asked directly for it (which does not count in my book). I cannot even tell you when was the last time we had a real live discussion, an honest and true two-way conversation.
Shoot, I might as well be married to myself!
Letting me have my way always, whether it was right or wrong was so unhealthy for a girl like me. I throw my hands up in disgust because to some of you reading this, a relationship like ours might actually sound great… but not to me! I need two-way interaction… someone to simply bring balance to my twisted mind. To be able to talk and laugh with someone on a daily basis was the key to holding my heart.
I needed someone to push and encourage me, comfort and console me, and someone to stand up and protect me. Isn’t that the definition of what a husband should be?
Diego, had let me down one too many times and wasn’t there for me like I needed him to be. The way he acted these days just wasn’t manly in my book. He should have been my rock, my support system, my hero, but instead he was nothing but weak and soft… a disappointment.
Something is seriously wrong with that picture, at least through my eyes it is. A man should be a man and wear the pants in the relationship or at least be an equal partner in it.
Fellas, a little word of advice: At least pretend you still have your balls attached! It’s okay to put your foot down and hold your ground. We women can’t be right all the damn time. Stand up for yourself or she will lose all respect for you in the end. Treat your wife like a queen and she will honor you as her king. A happy wife really does equal a happy husband.
Diego spent most of the week working brutal sixteen-hour shifts as a computer programmer, which was actually good for me because it usually took those five days he was at work to get over the two days he was at home.
What could two people possibly fight about when they only saw each other twice a week? Everything and anything. Just the sound of his voice irritated me.
There was no love left in this marriage, at least not on my end there wasn’t. My eyes no longer light up when he walked into the room. Nor did my heart flutter when he touched me, but with all that being said, Diego was still off in Lala Land somewhere acting like things couldn’t get any better and that this was how everyone’s marriage was behind closed doors.
I however, lived in reality where the sky wasn’t purple.
Well, most of the time anyway!
When I look at him, all I could see was what he stole from me. What he keeps on stealing from me. My sanity or what little I have left of it.
I don’t even think he fully understands how slowly he is killing me. Just bleeding me dry… day in and day out. Every week was the same, repeatedly without change.
Next thing I knew… five years of my life was missing and I have absolutely nothing to show for it.
I had hit rock bottom after my father passed away less than a year ago and it went right over Diego’s head. I was so lost and he just left me there to claw my own way out of the deep, dark hole of depression that I had sunk into all by my lonesome.
It was a thousand times worse than him not being there for me. Diego had FAILED ME miserably.
Since I hadn’t inform him that your wife crying herself to sleep every night was a bad thing, he just let my despair go on unchecked which lead to my complete and total withdrawal from him… from the world. The straw that broke the camels back as some would say and I knew that in my heart, I would never be able to find the strength to forgive him for not being there when I needed him the most.
His selfishness had left a crater in my chest so vast that it had swallowed me up whole. He had let me down for the last time, so as far as I was concerned, from that point on, we were no more than two mere strangers, living under the same roof.
Knowing Diego got home from work around midnight, I started preparing for bed around eleven so that I would be fast asleep by the time he got here.
Warm soapy water bubbled on my face, removing all the days grime. I had only done two massages that afternoon, but my body felt unusually drained and worn out for some odd reason, which must have caused the tension headache forming at the back of my head.
Rubbing the base of my skull, trying to relax myself, a sudden chill ran dow
n the entire length of my spine.
I smiled slightly, remembering something someone told me eons ago. “Whenever you get the chills, that’s just me thinking about you,” he purred in my ear, causing all the little hairs on the back of my neck to stand up.
That was years ago, a lifetime ago really, but I remember it like it was only yesterday.
It was my first serious relationship. I caught him staring at me as we sat on the hot asphalt, stretching during gym class one sunny afternoon.
He stole my heart in that moment... I was a complete goner. Mister tall, dark and handsome with some killer dimples to boot that really brought out his smile. Brand new to the school, to the neighborhood… he was a total stranger.
At first glance, he appeared rough and tough with a bad boy feel, but when he was alone with me, he was nothing but gentle and sweet. When together, I had his undivided attention as if we were the only two people left on the planet and that time actually stood still for us.
Young love is so beautifully warped, isn’t it?
I wasted no time and snatched him up quick before any of the other girls at the school could sink their hooks into him.
I shook myself out of that memory. I haven’t thought about him much these days, but I always remember and hear his voice when a sudden shiver rolls through me.
Flipping off the bathroom light, I stumbled over to the bed in the dark. After finding the edge of the covers, I drew them back and slid in, engulfing myself in cushy warmth.
This was my favorite time of the day and I eagerly anticipated my return to dreamland where I could get into all kinds of mischief, but consequences could never touch me. Unwinding, burying my head deep into my pillow, I shut my eyes and smirked since I knew I would be with my sexy love slave again shortly. I think I will let him lick every inch of me clean...