by Melanie Rose
Jay towered over me since I was half a foot shorter than he was, but I’m not complaining… no, I am definitely not complaining. I rather enjoy having to tilt my head back to look at him. However, pulling him down towards me just to be able to capture his lips with my own, always gave me a sense of power that set my body ablaze.
Slowly running my tongue across each of his nipples, a tremor ran through him as if he had been struck by lightning. His mouth suddenly came down hard on mines. In no time at all, clothes started flying every which direction.
He stepped into the shower first, testing then readjusting the water temperature for us before holding out a hand for me to join him.
I did mention before that he looked good naked, didn’t I? Well, add hot water streaming off his muscles and he was just about picture perfect. My eyes watched and followed the water as it ran off his face, down his chest to his waist, to revel that he was rock hard already.
Oooolala!
Spinning me so that the water was now running down my back instead, I tilted my head backwards to make my long hair wet. I purposely let it run down my face to give him the full effects of having a hot, wet, naked woman in front of him. I could practically feel the weight of his bulged eyes upon me, as he looked me up and down.
You best believe I looked damn good naked back then as well. We were the perfect pair. Turning myself sideways, I drew him in front of me so we could both share the water as I reached to grab the soap and began lathering him up.
Jay hadn’t stopped smiling yet. You would think that it was his birthday today instead of mines and in many ways, it actually was. Today was the start of his new life. I had been given the chance to spare him from his own untimely death… he just doesn’t know it.
Stretching my upper body lazily, I opened my eyes, blinking away the tiredness while staring at the blank wall before me. My hand reached out behind me searching, searching… but came up empty. Rotating my body to the right just to be 100% sure, I found myself looking at the Sandia Mountains right outside my bedroom window.
That can’t be right.
This morning, I was back home in my house, in my bed, in New Mexico, in 2009. Darn!
I laid there a minute actually disappointed. Was that all really just a dream then? It couldn’t have been because it lasted over 24 hours.
I swear I can still taste Jay’s sweet lip and feel his hard body on mines as if I had soaked him directly into my skin. I could even remember making love in the shower and then moving to his bed to make love over and over again. How many times can a couple have sex in one day?
We must hold some kind of a record.
Getting up and wandering downstairs, I powered up my computer. September 24th the date at the bottom of the screen read. That’s odd. It has to be the 25th since I was here on the 23rd. How was an entire twenty-four hour trip to the past, squeezed into just a few hours of sleep?
It hadn’t been real after all, I sighed.
Not able to shake the nagging feeling that I was wrong, I typed in Jayden Bishop and hit the search button because I was curious.
And… there he was, all grown up staring back at me. He was even more handsome than I remembered now that his features were more mature and defined.
I hadn’t realized I was crying until I couldn’t breathe thru my nose anymore. Instant relief flooded my body as the tear in my heart began to close as the guilt I carried around with me all these years over his death washed away. I felt years younger as the heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders.
I did it… Laughing, I began to understand. I saved him. My wish came true; I was blessed with a redo. I went back in time and changed the past somehow. I couldn’t believe it; I could barely contain myself… a life redo.
I changed the past, but why?
Shit, who cares!
Jay was alive and well. Obviously, things hadn’t worked out between the two of us seeing how I was still stuck in New Mexico married to Diego’s dumb ass, but really, who gives a damn! Jay wasn’t dead anymore.
What else did it change? Stopping suddenly as my skin turned ice-cold, I wonder…
Each step I took closer to my bedroom, I dreaded to discover what I may or may not find up there. Once I reached the dresser that my wooden jewelry box sat on, I just stood there staring at it. My hand trembled slightly as it hesitated on the lid before finally finding the strength to lift it. I shut my eyes tight, afraid to see what was inside. Be brave, I told myself. Breathing in a lungful of stale air, I slowly opened one eyelid.
Well, everything looked to be in order, I thought while shuffling some things around the inside cavity of the box, but suddenly there it was, staring innocently up at me.
There hidden underneath some old watches was a fuzzy little purple velvet box.
Lifting it out carefully as if it were a king cobra just waiting to strike me, I went over and settled myself down in the middle of my queen size bed in case I fainted or had a sudden heart attack. Gripping the lid tight, I pinched the box open.
Staring up at me were gold studded earrings that dangled half a dozen loose raindrops on the ends. They were beautiful and perfect. He knew that I would adore them simply because Rain was my middle name and I loved all things affiliated with water.
Staring down at them, I watched as they danced in the sunlight as it streamed in from the bedroom window. I never dreamt I would ever set eyes on these again. His mom had given them to me right after the accident, explaining to me that she believed with her whole heart that her son would have still wanted me to have them.
I took them reluctantly. I knew that a piece of me would die every time I looked at them and that no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to bring myself to actually wear them.
During his wake, I had slipped them inside his casket, wanting a part of me to be with him always. In the little purple box, I enclosed a final love letter and a picture of us taken at one of those cheesy photo booths in the mall, along with the earrings and placed them under his jacket, right over his heart where they would remain for all eternity.
I don’t know what made me do it, but before I could stop myself, I had slipped the raindrops into my ears, wearing them for the very first time. “Happy Birthday,” I told myself. Better late than never.
Where was he now, I wondered. Are we at least still friends? Checking my cell phone contacts only to learn that sure enough… his number was now magically in there somehow.
I studied it; still in the L.A. area, I realized quickly, recognizing the familiar 661 area code. Should I call him? What am I supposed to say exactly?
Now is not the time to be a bloody chicken, Jazz!
After what I just went through (I don’t time travel everyday you know), I deserved to hear his voice at least once… don’t I?
Counting to three, my thumb tapped the call button.
He answered on the first ring. Mid-ring in fact. “Love, you read my mind… I was just about to call you,” he said with a delighted ring in his voice.
Love??? He cannot still be calling me that… could he? “Huh! You were. You do know this is Jasmine, right?” I said skeptically.
“Of course I do. Are you kidding me? I’m in town and wanted to see if I could stop by real quick… ummm, to drop off some pictures.”
“By in town, you mean New Mexico, right? What are you doing out here?”
“Well, I would say that I was here on business, but that would be a huge lie. Never mind that right now… I’ll explain later. So what do you say, can I come over?”
“Sure,” I answered him automatically without thinking twice.
“Great, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes or so. I’ll see you soon.”
I hung up the phone in complete shock. I guess that means he has been here before since he sure in the hell didn’t ask me for any directions. Alright, this is getting weird and he’s due to be here in fifteen minutes no less. I had better get a grip on myself and fast.
I started fixing myself up a
t record speed. You would have thought I was getting ready for my first date with all the butterflies flying around in my belly. My heart was literally trying to climb out of my chest, while my palms sweated like crazy. What was it about this boy (well, man now) that got my juices flowing like this?
I was a married woman for Pete’s sake.
By the time I heard the ding-dong of the doorbell, I was calm, cool and centered.
Yeah right! You have no sense if you believed that last sentence.
I had called all my massage appointments and had them rescheduled for later in the week, freeing up my entire day. Nervously, I looked thru the peephole before stepping back to open the door.
Jay was leaning his shoulder against the doorway dressed in a lightweight black leather jacket and some dark denim jeans… he looked just like a Christmas present waiting to be unwrapped. “You look beautiful as always,” he said, planting a kiss on my cheek that warmed up instantly to his touch.
Beautiful. Did he just say I was beautiful? My own husband hadn’t even called me that in forever. What the hell is happening here? I guess I have no choice, but to just roll with it. “You don’t look too bad yourself. Forgive me. Where are my manners? Come on in, silly.”
“Sorry to just drop by out of the blue… but I had to see you. Sooooo, I hopped on the first plane headed in your direction and here I am. I can’t really explain the feeling that came over me. It was almost as if I had woken up all of a sudden after sleep walking for several years. If that makes any sense to you at all. I couldn’t shake the feeling that you needed me. It seemed important for me to be with you today. Do you have anything to drink?” he asked quickly, trying to change the subject.
Wow, he was nervous, I could tell. Well, that makes two of us then. Pointing in the direction of the living room, I told him to go ahead and make himself at home on the couch, while I went to grab us a couple of ice-cold bottles of water from the fridge.
I joined him there, but left as much space as humanly possible between us without being rude. “I’m so glad you’re here.” I said to him which was the honest to God’s truth, but I still didn’t want to sit too close to him, afraid of how my body might respond to his.
“Is Diego at work?” he questioned.
Diego, Diego who? Oh my bad, I was only married to him, right.
Did these two actually know each other? For the first time, I realized that I really didn’t know where my husband was this morning or even cared for that matter. He wasn’t here now, so why waste time thinking about him. There were some things I needed to sort out and I wasn’t about to let Diego interfere with that. I needed to be firing on all cylinders without him dragging me down today.
Refocusing on the current situation at hand. “Yes,” I said, finally answering his question.
“So what’s new? Are you okay? Was I right… did you need me for some reason?”
That’s the question of the year!
What wasn’t new with me this morning? I don’t know if I’m okay. I think so and as far as his last question was concerned, how was I supposed to remotely answer that right now. The only thing I was 100% positive of, was my newfound feelings of being light and free.
I felt amazing, floating on a natural high. This morning, I woke up a brand new woman. Like a lost part of my former self, emerged from out of the darkness and reconnected itself to me. Shaking my head slightly, giggling, I was blown away by just thinking about everything that had occurred the night before.
“You going to let me in on that joke?” he asked as he shifted his body weight to look at me better.
Oh, what the hell! I don’t have anything to lose. I still cannot believe that he is alive and sitting in my living room next to me. “Do you remember my sixteenth birthday?”
Man, it’s like a sauna in here. The moment those words left my lips, my face felt plump as hot blood collected in my cheeks.
“Remember it. It’s tattooed onto my soul, love. That day will forever be one of the best days of my life. Is that what you were just smiling about? What made you think about that?”
“It was like it only happened yesterday,” I replied with the still all too fresh details bouncing around in my mind like a loose ping-pong ball. In truth, it was only yesterday… for me!
“I know what you mean, that day was wild. Don’t get mad or anything, but it was like you were possessed by some kind of freaky sex goddess.”
All I could do was laugh at that idea. If he only knew how close to the truth, he really was. “I think I might have been,” I replied still laughing at myself. “Can I ask you something then?” Continuing without even waiting for an answer, “What happened to us? I mean, why aren’t we still together?”
It was a good question because I had absolutely no idea what he had been up to over the years. Obviously, he has been here before, I’m still in contact with him, he still seems to care about me or else he wouldn’t be here right now, but I’m drawing a complete and utter blank. How am I supposed to fill in these holes without appearing as if I’m interrogating him?
He rocked his head from side to side slowly as he fought with himself on how best to answer my question. “I’ve asked myself the same thing about a million times already. I’ve always wanted to sweep you away from this hell you’ve been living in with Diego and put back together all the little broken pieces of you. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to make you whole again… but you never let me. You’re too stubborn for your own good and insistent that this shame of a marriage is your punishment for all of your past sins.” Jay blew out a deep huff before continuing. “Jazz the truth is, I’ve stood by you all these years and have never once regretted it. I’ll take you anyway, I can have you. I’ve been there for you thru the good and the not so good and I will continue to do so for as long as I live, but I always wanted or wished that things could have been different between the two of us. I have to admit that I’ve felt cheated for a long time because I should have been the leading man in your life, not just some co-star. I knew that when I moved away right after your birthday that things would change between us. I wished over and over again that I could have stayed behind somehow… stayed with you.”
So he moved away, huh. We didn’t break up on bad terms. That was good. Moreover, I had the distinct impression, that even though we weren’t a couple anymore, he was still a major part of my life.
Shoot, he just confessed his feelings for me. Something I was so not used to hearing. Jay just laid it out there and wasn’t remotely embarrassed by it. He seemed relieved to finally get that off his chest and out into the open.
Man, this is one big jigsaw puzzle. How in the world am I going to fill in these gaps without him thinking that I’ve gone completely bonkers? With limited choices, I decided to go with what I’ve been doing for the past five years of my marriage… I fake it of course!
“Let’s not talk about our past regrets today, it’s far too depressing. You’re here with me now, we’re enjoying each other’s company and that’s all that truly matters. Didn’t you say on the phone that you had some pictures for me? Let’s see them co-star,” I suggested, holding my hand out. Please, oh please let there be some clues in here for me.
“These are all for you to keep. I have copies at home.”
I smiled at that, reached in and pulled out a small stack of ten photos or so. The top picture was of him sunbathing by a pool with his muscles glistening with suntan oil.
Nice!
I took a big swallow of water to try to bring my body temperature back down. Yikes. Quickly shuffling that flick to the back of the pile without looking up at him, I pressed on to a picture of him in a professional yellow and purple basketball uniform, standing in the middle of a basketball court, which just happened to be in the middle of the L.A. Sports Arena.
No. Freakin’. Way!
I rewound my memory log. He is probably around six-four or six-five now, check! He showed real promise on the high school basketball team, check! That was a
ll I had I suddenly realized. Everything else was blank. I have no clue what’s been going on in his life for the past nineteen years since I brought him back from the dead.
Are you freakin’ kidding me… you mean I could have been married to a pro-ball player all of this time? It was beginning to feel like I was trapped in a nightmare again.
“You play professional basketball?” I choked, as water tried to shoot out from my mouth.
“Why are you acting so surprised? Are you alright? You look a little pale.” His big orbs were filled with worry and concern as he reached over and held my hand, stroking his thumb softly against the back of it.
Okay, time out Jay… physical contact was so not my thing these days.
Just be cool, I told myself. This is no big deal. So what if I don’t like being touched anymore... well at least I thought I didn’t like being touched. Jay must be some kind of exception since my body didn’t instantly recoil from him like it does whenever Diego tries to touch me. In fact, a part of me wanted him to hold on and never let go. I should be able to handle this without pulling away and hurting his feelings. He was still the same person he has always been, right?
How would I bloody know, people? Stop thinking like that and snap out of it already. He was just concerned about you. Gees hold it together, woman.
I straightened my back with new determination. I can do this. Yes, I can do this. I think I can, I think I can…. This was a good thing, no a great thing. He was alive, well, and living out his dreams. I am so proud of him for making it this far.
“I’m fine. Thank you for worrying about me though.” I assured him, squeezing his hand before releasing it to return to the stack of photos for more clues.
The next picture was a close up of him and a precious little girl who looked around five in age with super curly jet-black hair and beautiful chestnut colored eyes…. CRAP! Any color that still remained in my face drain out instantly. I tried to play it off as best I could. “This is a cute picture. Where are you guys?” I said, gulping hard.