by Melanie Rose
“Yes,” I answered, mashing my body into his as I continued to lick a trail along his jaw-line.
“Jazzzzzzz,” he muttered, fighting with himself. Tightening his grip on my ass in the process.
“Yes,” I repeated once more, grinding my hips into his rock hard manhood.
“Love, wait,” he finally gasped out, trying to regain control of the situation.
“I’m done waiting!” I proclaimed, pressing my lips to his again, kissing him passionately.
He pulled back and inhaled deeply, trying to slow things down. “No, love. Wait. Not like this. You will regret it… you’ll hate yourself in the morning. You know you will.”
“What did you just say?” I pushed back from him altogether, sloshing water onto the floor in an attempt to return to my side of the tub. I felt so deflated. Like a balloon that had lost all its air.
My face had to of been as white as a sheet because I had heard the voice of someone who was not even in the room with us. A voice that I shouldn’t be hearing at all right about now, but there was no mistaking the sound of Tyce’s voice begging me… to STOP!
“Don’t look like that. We’ll find a way to be together someday. You’ll see. You have to have a little faith. I do! I know that one day we’ll have nothing standing between us.” Jay assured me, believing that it was his words that stopped anything from happening just now.
I nodded my head in agreement because frankly, I didn’t know what else to do. What in the world is happening to me?
“Come on, let’s get you to bed. You’re shivering.”
He hopped out, grabbed a towel, and wrapped me up in it snuggly. Taking one last look at the tub before exiting the room, I pulled back the heavy covers on our bed and slid in with Jay following close behind me. With our faces only inches apart, we just stared at each other, lost in each other’s eyes until I cracked a goofy smile.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked me curiously.
“That was a close call, wasn’t it?”
“Someone had to be the responsible one in there. I thought you were going to rape me.”
“Shut up! I wasn’t that bad… was I?”
“Could of sworn I caught a glimpse of that wild sex goddess again like on your 16th birthday. Believe me, I didn’t want to stop. I would have loved to make love to you repeatedly like we used to, but I know that it wouldn’t have been right. Not while you’re still married.”
Reaching over, I began stroking his cheekbone lightly with my thumb. “Jay, I don’t know what I did to ever deserve a man like you.”
Once asleep, I could felt myself being lifted out of my body again.
Damn it! Are you serious?
This time, I was looking down as I watched Tyce propose to me right before he left to join the Army. But he didn’t have a diamond ring for me. So instead, he gave me his class ring and in return, I gave him a thick gold band with my name on it.
I came crashing back into my body with another quick start. Jay pulled me closer to him and began stroking my hair as if he were trying to sooth me after assuming I had a bad dream or something.
My mind wandered as I thought back to that time in my life. I once believed that Tyce and I would get married. Our relationship was intense from the very beginning. It was love at first sight. It sounds cliché, I know, but trust me… it was real. The bond I had with him was powerful. My connection with Jay before he had died was the only thing equal to it… something that went beyond all space and time. Something that I have never felt since. Something that could only be described as … EPIC!
The first time I saw him, he was walking down my street on a hot summer day in a bright orange uniform. My vision was filled to the max with him and him alone. “Why are you staring at my brother like that?” were the words that brought me back to reality as we drove passed him one afternoon. I remember being utterly shocked. This mysterious creature walking down my street was my friend’s older brother and I never knew it. How did that happen?
As the summer continued, I would catch glimpses of him here and there until the day I looked up and saw him standing there before me thru two-inch thick, bulletproof glass.
I was working a shift at Bones Pizza Palace when Tyce suddenly appeared with a childhood friend of mine named Mayson. I can only imagine what I must have looked like standing there in my blue and orange uniform all covered in flour. However, I don’t think Tyce really cared about that much. He had asked Mayson to introduce us. He actually wanted to meet… me… how did he even know who I was? Or where I worked for that matter? How did Mayson even know him to begin with?
One day, I’ll have to remember to ask Tyce to tell me that little story.
Oddly enough, Mayson was the exact same person that had also introduced me to Jay. He was my very own personal matchmaker. Mayson had led me to my first love… and the love of my life. Now how freaky is that?
Tyce was a year older than I was and ended up joining the Army right after he graduated from high school. I was so proud of him; he was so brave, putting his life on the line for our country. The plan was that I would finish my senior year then join him after he was stationed. It wasn’t until he has left for boot camp that his mom and aunt turned on me, destroying that plan.
They said that I shouldn’t try to tie him down so early in life, that he was too young. For me to let him go out and see the world so he could grow and become a man. They made me feel so guilty. They had me so twisted up inside that I began to feel unworthy of him… that I wasn’t good enough for him, that I would be holding him back. That’s how they were able to convince me that letting him go would be the right thing to do. That it would be the best thing… for both of us.
His mom handed me my ring back since she had been holding it for him until he was done with boot camp. I lied in a letter that I’d wrote to him, claiming that I couldn’t wait for him like we had planned… that I wanted to enjoy my last year of high school as a free woman.
It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. One of the biggest lies I have ever told.
I hated my senior pictures because they were taken the day we last made love to each other as a couple. I had even went out of my way and transferred to a rival school my 12th grade year just to reassure him of my commitment to our relationship. He had been so worried about leaving me alone with all the hound dogs at our high school that I tried to do everything in my power to protect and safeguard his sanity while he was away.
How could he believe a lie like that so easily after all that I had given up for him? How did he not know that I loved him more than anything else in this world at that time?
I convinced myself that his mom had actually known what she was talking about… he was too young to be that serious about us. He didn’t fight for our relationship. Fight to keep me in his world. He just let me walk away.
Overtime, I came to terms with the fact that I must have loved him more than he had ever loved me. I willingly sacrificed my future happiness and set him free, only to end up praying that he would return to me on his own someday… but that never happened.
I never wore my band on my finger again after that. It rested on a chain around my neck instead. It felt like it didn’t belong to me anymore. That ring would forever be his. Waiting for the day that it would find its way back to him.
However, by some small miracle, Tyce and I remained close throughout the years even though we were never a couple again. We had an eternal bond, but timing for us was always off somehow. Every time our lives came back together there was something always standing in the way… keeping us apart, yet still connected. Our lives forever intertwined for reasons unknown to the both us.
He had even managed to save my life once, back in my original past. Even though I had rewrote history so that event never took place, we still had a connection that was undeniable, but I had only spoken to him once since I had moved to New Mexico and that one major fact suddenly affected me profoundly.
Was I suppo
sed to reconnect with him? Did he need me right now for something? Is that why I’m having these flashbacks of him? Hearing his voice! Maybe I can finally repay him for saving me all those years ago; maybe it’s time for me to return the favor. Maybe it’s time for him to learn the truth about our breakup. To have the talk that has waited for oh so long. Maybe? I will have to deal with that when I get back home. There is nothing I can do while floating around on this ship anyway.
From Spain, we all caught a flight back to Florida together. I’d only seen the inside of this states airport, so I made a rash last-minute decision to stay a few extra days instead of returning straight home.
Something was keeping me here, but what or who… I had absolutely no idea. Jay of course stayed with me, but Maya and Bobby both flew back to California the next day.
Feeling bad that Jay insisted on babysitting me, I persuaded him to at least send for little Jasmine. That way the three of us could go and visit all the tourist attractions that Orlando was known for while out here.
CHAPTER NINE
LITTLE JASMINE ARRIVED AT THE airport as Maya and Bobby departed. We sent them off with warm smiles and headed out for some much-needed family fun. Jasmine and Jay had never been here either. The sheer thought of pulling up into the famous mouse’s parking lot was exciting enough. Unsure of where we wanted to begin, but positive that we wanted to get our hands into everything that they had to offer, we set out exploring the parks.
Jay however, got a lot more attention here in the States than when we were overseas which slowed us up a bit. He didn’t mind and allowed his fans to snap pictures all the while signing hundreds of autographs when they asked for them.
I had better call to let my husband know where I am and whom I’m with, before he saw it on the news, and got his panties in a bunch. Just like a good little wife would.
We rode on everything… twice! We got our faces painted and bought ourselves goofy hats to wear with matching t-shirts. You should have seen the three of us… we had the tourist look down-packed! We even managed to sneak in to have lunch with all the princesses. It was a real treat to watch Jasmine’s dreams come true as she literally got to eat in the mist of her own little fairytale.
That evening, we settled down on the curb to watch the parade, as we nibbled on giant foot long corn dogs. With us being in the very front and Jasmine being so little, she didn’t block or obstruct anyone else’s view as she continuously jumped up and down as the different floats rolled by.
Jay was so lucky, I thought as I watched his daughters face light up when one of her favorite characters appeared. I never fully understood how Jasmine’s birth mother could have walked away from her as she did. She literally left her on Jay’s doorstep one evening with a note stating that she was his problem now and to love her always. She couldn’t have been more than a week old.
I cannot even imagine how hard that would have been to walk away from your own child, once you held them in your arms. Jay had no idea who the mother could have been or if Jasmine was really his biological daughter or not. He didn’t care. Instead, he kept and loved her as the note had asked without ever checking her DNA.
“Your daughter’s beautiful,” the man sitting next to me said, interrupting my thoughts.
“Thank you,” I replied. “Unfortunately, she’s only my god-daughter so I can’t take any credit for her good looks,” I continued to said, turning to face the man for the first time since the parade had started.
“Hello, Jasmine!” The man said as his face registered in my mind.
“Luke, Oh my God! Luke is that you?” I said wildly back, all teary-eyed. Has he been sitting next to me this whole entire time without my knowledge?
“It’s nice to see you too,” he chuckled as I continued to gaze upon him like an utter moron.
I swung my arms around his neck before I could even help myself. This was why I felt the need to remain in Florida. Someone wanted to make sure I saw Luke one last time. I forgot where we were until Luke started patting me on the back, whispering that it was okay, and not to cry.
Was I crying? Oh well.
Once my emotions calmed, I realized someone’s eyes were burning a hole into the center of my forehead. I looked up to see that Luke wasn’t exactly alone and let go of him at once.
“I’m so sorry. How rude of me? I’m Jasmine,” I said, holding out my hand for her to shake.
She placed her hand in mine as her facial expression softened as my name sank in. “Of course, I’m Lillian. His wife. Luke has told me so many nice things about you, Jasmine. It’s a pleasure to finally be able to put a face to the name.”
“You can’t believe everything you hear,” I said worried. Were there even nice things he could say about me?
“Only that if it weren’t for you, he never would have followed his dreams and became a psychiatrist. It was you that started it all. You influenced him to become the man that he is today. I owe you my thanks,” she said, smiling sweetly at me.
“I don’t know about all that,” I said back, embarrassed by the sheer thought of such an absurd idea.
Damn, was I that freakin’ crazy that I drove this man to become a Shrink?
“Honey, you’re embarrassing her. Look, you even made her blush. Jazz, this is our daughter, Hope,” Luke cut in.
Turning my attention to the little girl who had been jumping around with Jasmine only a few short moments ago, I gathered myself. Hope was simply precious and took after her father, I noticed immediately. How did I not see that before?
OMG… Where is my brain at? Suddenly remembering the other people in my party. Leaning back, I introduced Jasmine and Jay to them. I held back giggles as they started stuttering when they realized exactly who Jay was.
As the parade came to a close, our two parties parted and went our separate ways. I could not wrap my mind around the fact that Luke was all grown up and was now a happy family man. The changes I made to my past had altered his whole future… I never ruined him for all other women.
Phew… what a relief! The world wasn’t short a good guy anymore and I could definitely live with that.
On our last day in Florida, we got an early start exploring the animal park since later that evening, we were scheduled to catch separate flights home. Me to New Mexico and Jay and Jasmine back to California. Therefore, we made the best of the last couple of hours we all had together. We took safari rides. We touched as many animals that we could get our greedy little hands on. We even rode on an elephant, but the day-ended way too fast and it was time to go.
The cab ride over to the airport was somber. No one wanted to be apart from one another and it was going to be hard to let each other go. I leaned down to comfort Jasmine. “You take care of your daddy for me, okay. You be a good girl for him and I promise to come visit you soon, sweetie. I love you.”
“I love you too, auntie,” she said with fat tears running down her face.
I pulled her into my arms and wiped away her tears with my hands. “It’ll be alright, you’ll see. We’ll be together again before you can even miss me.” I pulled away from her gently and redirected my focus on her father.
He looked just as sad as his daughter did. I stepped closer to him and placed both hands on his face, drawing his eyes into mines. “My heart will always be with you, no matter how far away my body is!” I reassured him. He hugged me tight and we promised each other that we would see one another again soon and then they were gone.
Once finally seated on my plane, I made myself comfortable against the window, and fell fast asleep. This time, I was sucked out of the body of the plane and was teleported into the bathroom at my parent’s house. I was floating in midair again as I watched my younger self walk in only to shut and lock the door behind her as she carefully balanced a big folded off-white towel in her left hand. Setting her bundle down gentle on the sink counter, she turned robotically to start the water in the bathtub.
I flailed my limbs with no avail, fully aware of what was ab
out to happen. I was going to be forced to relive the darkest day of my life. The day I sold my soul to the devil by aborting my unborn child... the very day, I, myself… should have DIED.
Helplessly, I watched as she unfolded that towel to reveal a huge knife inside. It was the biggest and sharpest one in the house. With a thick white handle for easy gripping, it had been my dad’s favorite. She rested her hands on the sink counter, steadying herself by drawing in a deep lungful of air. To my complete horror, she proceeded to look up at herself in the mirror for just one split second. I couldn’t help but choke on my own spit when I saw her face.
Did I really look like that… back then?
I was barely eighteen years old, but I looked like a zombie, the epitome of death itself. Everything about me was lifeless… my eyes, my skin, even my hair. This poor girl did not intend to ever come out of this bathroom alive.
How could I have done this to myself… to my family, I thought, but I knew that my younger self was too blinded by the unbearable amount of regret weighing down on her at that moment to even care. My heart split right down the center from just looking at my broken self. I could see that she had no fight left in her. She had lost the will to live. I cringed as she placed the sharp blade against the delicate skin of her inner left wrist.
I couldn’t bear to watch anymore, when both of us were suddenly startled by a ringing telephone. My younger self was baffled as it echoed as if it was coming from inside that very room… but how could it? She hadn’t brought the phone in there with her.
I was relieved to watch myself set the knife back down on the towel to find the cordless phone lying on the little shelf above the toilet, inside a small wicker basket that held dozens of my hair scrunches in it. She cocked her head to the side as she read the caller ID, sighed, and then decided to answer the phone instead of putting an untimely end to her young life.
I woke up on the plane, hysterical. I wiped back my tears the best I could and tried to regain control of my breathing. It was Tyce on the other end of that line. I never found out how that phone got in there in the first place, but I was beyond grateful that it was. He managed to call a heartbeat before I planned to take my own life. He had saved me from myself. I would not be alive today if it weren’t for him.