by Melanie Rose
He shivered with indecision; I had completely caught him off guard. On its own accord, my tongue whipped itself out and lightly ran itself along his lower lip causing his manhood to grow and pulse underneath my tight.
“Well, well, well. It’s obvious that… someone’s happy to see me,” I said, cracking a huge smile and winding my arms tightly around his neck, finally breaking the hold I had on him with my eyes.
Cupping both sides of my face. “You can’t do that to me, little lady. I thought I’d died and went to heaven!” Jay said, dropping his hands back down into the water to draw all my female parts even closer to his.
“I was just having a little fun with you,” I pouted with my bottom lip turned out.
“HA! Woman, you made my heart skip a beat.”
“It seems to be working just fine. In fact, it seems to be working overtime. If I didn’t know any better, I would guess that my presence excites you.”
“I’m excited alright!”
“I know,” I said very slowly in my husky sexy voice, looking at him shyly thru my long lashes.
“You are so bad. What am I going to do with you, huh?”
“Whatever you want,” I purred at him, leaning in closer so that my lips were barely touching his again.
He gulped and swallowed hard. “Love!”
“Shhhh, I’m just teasing. I’ll be the voice of reason today, silly.”
Praise the Lord was all he said as I moved from his lap to his side, removing all temptation.
Well, some of it anyway.
We sat and talked for a while, enjoying the hot water before getting redressed. Jay never questioned why or how I had come to be there. He didn’t care; he was delighted to have me close regardless of the circumstances.
I made him bacon and eggs in the morning before I headed out to the airport. “Tell Jazz that I’m really sorry that I missed her, but I’ll see her soon, alright.”
I already know what you are thinking people. Why bother rushing home?
Yeah, I could have stayed a couple of extra days and hung out with Jay… maybe caught up with a few old friends while I was in town. It wasn’t as if I was returning home to anything important, but it was time for my husband and I to have a serious talk about our marriage… or lack of. My heart was not in it anymore so a few hard decisions needed to be made… ASAP! And there’s no time like the present, so back to New Mexico I go.
I really hate quitting something that I’ve started, but I was sick of this nonsense. Of living a lie. I just wanted to be happy and I knew that was something that my husband couldn’t give me. We had grown too far apart and I no longer wanted to try to bridge that gap. Curious to see where his head was at... to see what color the sky was in his world today, I told him, “Diego, we need to talk!”
Okay, was all he replied hesitantly. Those five little words always made him nervous as a result of being well aware that nothing good could come out of me saying them. I didn’t want to prolong the inevitable anymore so I got right down to the nitty-gritty of things.
“Where do you see this marriage going exactly?” I asked him point-blank with both hands planted firmly on my hips.
The look on his face was just priceless. You would have sworn that I had asked him if bacon was a vegetable.
“Uhhh… Honey, what do you mean? I know things haven’t been great between us lately, but they’ll get better soon, I swear,” he replied with the same lame answer he always gave me.
“You can’t be serious… can you? We don’t spend any time together. We don’t have anything left in common. We barely speak to each other… so why on earth would you assume that things could get any better between us?” I said with one of my eyebrows cocked so high it was practically touching my hairline.
“I’m trying.”
“You’re not trying and neither am I, if truth be told. For the life of me, sometimes, I can’t help but think that we shouldn’t be married anymore… never of gotten married in the first place. Because I don’t feel married, do you? We’re living two separate lives underneath the same roof. Sounds basically like roommates to me. Do you honestly think that this is normal? That everyone conducts their lives like this. I’m not happy living this way and I’m pretty sure… you’re not either.”
“How can you say that? We belong together.”
Man, he was delusional!
I couldn’t help but shake my head from sheer disbelief. Why in the world did I even bother trying to talk to his dumbass? “Why should we stay married, Diego? Give me one reason besides our wedding vows. What is keeping you here exactly? Why in the hell do you still want to be with me?”
“Because I love you.”
“Do you! Do you really? If you’re not going to be honest with me, then at least be honest with yourself for once. Do you truly love me or the person you want me to be? Maybe you love person that I used to be. But no matter which one of us you pick… she’s GONE. Long gone. That girl you met doesn’t exist anymore and either does the woman that you married. Have you even noticed that, huh have you? Whatever you are looking for… I am incapable of giving it to you. I don’t want to pretend that I want to be with you anymore and I simply REFUSE to live like this a second longer!”
I was really getting worked up… trembling with anger and frustration. Two emotions that didn’t blend very well inside of me. I try very hard to keep that side of me in check, but my evil dark side wanted to come out and play today. “Just for the record, what exactly do you love about me, Diego? This I have to hear.”
“I love you everything about you,” he rattled off.
Wrong fucking answer.
“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME!” I screamed at him with venom. “Who the fuck are you? What happened to the man that I married? The man that paid attention. I can’t stand who you’ve become… what we’ve become and I’m so fucking done with this bullshit and to be completely honest… you’re just not worth all this stress and aggravation!” I hissed at him as I exited the room. I didn’t want to be bothered with his bi-polar ass for the rest of the night, so I slammed and locked our bedroom door shut behind me.
Get comfortable on the couch, jerk!
He was only telling me things that he thought I wanted to hear, instead of having a real conversation with me for a change. It never dawned on that clown that in order to fix a problem… you have to meet it head on. Sweeping it under the rug and praying that it would resolve itself was something beyond my understanding. I didn’t work or operate that way. If you have something to say… then say it! Or else it would never get worked out.
I was fuming when I went to bed, compiling a mental list of different possible escape plans when my head started throbbing and I found myself sitting in the middle of a job interview.
FUCK! SERIOUSLY!
Could this night get any worse? Now I have to deal with this fool as well… so be it.
Bring it on.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THERE SITTING RIGHT ACROSS FROM me was my old boss from that jail job that I hated with a passion. I felt somewhat sorry for him, considering I was in full-blown bitch mode with my tail and horns fully extended! Envisions of myself jumping across that desk and strangling him to death came to the forefront of my mind as he sat there all proud and mighty as if his shit didn’t stink, but in truth… he was just a sad excuse of a man.
“Your resume is quite impressive, Ms. Wynn. It says here that you’re currently attending graphic design school. That must be really exciting for you.”
I didn’t even know what to say to that, causing me to just sit there with my face crunched up like something in the room smelled bad. I hated this man with every fiber of my being. If looks really could kill… he would have been burnt to a crisp already. There was no way in hell I was going to waste another seven years of my life working for this scumbag. It was punishment enough to have to deal with Diego on a daily basis all because of a stupid legal binding piece of paper, but the monumental mistake I made by
accepting THIS job offer… was about to get rectified.
“Are you alright, Ms. Wynn?” he asked when I still had no response for his comment.
“I have to leave,” I said, abruptly standing up.
“I don’t understand. Your interview is far from over.”
“Oh pleeeez! It’s over alright. I have absolutely no intentions of letting you stare at my boobs again for the next several years. The fact that you refused to promote me because I didn’t submit to all of your sexual advances makes my stomach turn. I was one of your hardest working employees and you couldn’t even appreciate that. Why couldn’t you just let me do my DAMN JOB without all the extra bullshit? Why did you have to make my life more difficult than it needed to be? I killed myself for this fucking company… for NOTHING! Just looking at you now literally makes my skin crawl. So this interview was over before it even began, solely because you don’t deserve to breathe the same FUCKING air as me!” I spat in his face and stormed out of the building, almost shattering the glass door behind me as I made my grand exit.
All the anger that I was feeling towards my husband exploded out of me onto that son-of-bitch, but it felt good. It felt damn good to finally speak my mind and get that out of my system after all of these years.
I reentered my body hard this time as I sat up gasping for air… I couldn’t breathe. My eyes were swimming in their own juices as I struggled to inhale oxygen.
Oh my God. I’m dying.
I tried putting my head between my knees, rocking myself back and forth, as I had seen on countless movies. It helped a little, but not as much as I would have liked. Finally, after a couple of moments, my airway started to slowly open back up when someone sat down on the bed next to me and began rubbing small circles on my back.
“Are you alright, love?”
I looked up at him, surprised through glassy eyes. When in the world did Jay get here? “I’m okay. I just had a nightmare… is all.” I said, falling back onto the pillow as I continued trying to re-inflate my lungs.
“Can I get you anything?”
“Some drugs would be marvelous… I have a killer headache and my chest is on fire.”
“How about some herbal tea instead, huh? I’ll be back in a sec. Just lay there and relax.”
Tea??? I don’t want any stinkin’ tea. Bring my butt a rum and cola!
Pounding the mattress in frustration, I laid there staring up at the ceiling in the dark, imagining all of the other things I could have said to that jerk ex-boss of mine when I had the chance. The nerve of that man! I should have told all the other girls in that office to run… run away while you still can. And my husband… don’t even get me started on him. Damn them. Damn them both, I thought evilly, throwing my arm over my eyes.
The covers at the edge of the bed moved, interrupting my rant. I looked down my body to see a large lump crawling under the sheets, moving steadily towards me.
Come on Jay. I love you and all, but DAMN… I am sooo not in the mood for games right now.
That was when I felt the lump split and became two. One on each side of me. What the hell is going on? Can’t everyone just leave me the hell alone for two blasted seconds so I could blow off some steam in peace?
The lump on my right popped out the top of the covers first. “I win, I win.” Little Jasmine squealed out with delight.
My mind reeled. Why on earth is Jasmine here to? But before I could get ahead of myself, a little boy around Jasmines size popped out on my left. “Awww… mommy, she cheated,” he cried out, burying his head hard into my chest.
I laid there stunned... frozen for a few seconds. This can’t be. Gently lifting the little boys head so I could look at him more closely, waterworks brimmed over my eyelashes as little KJ’s pouty face stared back at me.
He looked like an angel. A gift from God himself. Every detail of him appeared to be exactly how I remembered it. I will never forget those eyes of his for as long as I live. I squeezed him tight to me. I never thought I would see him in the flesh again… let alone touch him. He had returned. I hadn’t erased his entire existence after all. Somehow, he found his way back to me and was right here safe in my arms once more.
Jasmine claimed a small piece of the action for herself, joining in on our hug and by the time Jay made it back with my tea, I was a blubbering hot mess.
“And what did you two do to make mommy cry?” he asked them, unsure of what he had missed.
“We didn’t do it, daddy.” They chime together in unison.
Huh!!!! Mommy? Daddy?
What are they all talking about? My brain felt like it was going to erupt any second now. How much more can one person take in a single day?
“Come on, let mommy rest. Go get ready for bed guys,” he told the kids, when he picked up on my discomfort.
“Do we have to?” they whined.
“Yes, please.”
“Ooookayyyy.” They sounded off as they slid off the bed together and left the room.
“Here. Sit up and drink this, love,” Jay said, turning his undivided attention back to me.
Taking a firm grasp of the mug that he held out, I blew on it before sipping the steamy discolored liquid. Ooh that’s nice… tasted like chamomile. Jay stood hovering over me watching, waiting. Therefore, I took a few more sips to appease him before I rotated my head around to crack my neck.
It felt as if I had been run over by a bus. TWICE! Every part of my body ached. Even the roots of my hair.
“Can you do me a favor and start a bath for me please?” I asked Jay politely since he was just standing there.
A nice long soak in the tub should make me feel worlds better. It has always worked in the past. So let us hope that that continues to hold true.
I guess, I should tell you guys that I wouldn’t be surprised if I used to be a fish in a former life, seeing how I loved the water so much. I could bathe myself three times a day and still look forward to a fourth one. No wonder my parents were always complaining about the water bill when I was growing up.
My bad!
Jay removed the mug from my hands before I could get one last sip in and sat it down on the nightstand after doing what I had asked of him. I didn’t even have the strength to protest, my eyes couldn’t even see straight. With a huge sigh, I pushed the covers back and stumbled towards the sound of running water.
This is not my bathroom, I thought to myself when I first walked in. This isn’t even one of the bathrooms at Jay’s house. Where in the hell are we? I tried my best not to think about it. I needed to get rid of all this pain and discomfort before trying to riddle out another mystery. A tub is a tub and this tub will have to do.
The water felt nice against my skin. It must have been super thirsty since the water seemed to quench my need for it. I let Jay remain in the bathroom with me as he sponged water down my back. In my present condition, I could have cared less about how morally wrong, him being in there with me was.
“I’m sure the twins didn’t mean to make your headache any worse,” he said plainly, trickling another sponge full of bubbles down my neck and spine.
TWINS???
Did I hear him right? Jasmine and KJ were twins. Nah! They couldn’t be. However, no sooner did I think it; a fresh memory flooded my mind of me in my hospital room recuperating after giving birth to them… both of them. My beautiful twin babies lay perfectly content in my arms. One wrapped in pink while the other was bundled in blue.
I suddenly cried out in pain as my skull cracked open as all the extra memories invaded me. All at the same damn time. Jay caught me before my head slammed against the back of the tub as I thrashed wildly around in the water.
“What is it? Is it the baby?” he yelled out, horrified.
I tasted bile. My breathing was erratic. Sweat had begun to bead on my forehead. BABY? Well, I guess that explained the tea instead of the drugs. My hands instantly flew to my stomach, feeling the bulge already formed there. My baby. Oh my God… I’m pregnant. Pregnant with Ja
y’s child… our child.
Could it be? I searched his orbs for confirmation. Please let this be real. Please, I cannot be dreaming. The worry in his eyes and the concern on his face was too much for me. I broke down in tears, trembling in his arms while clinging desperately to his now soaked shirt with my mind spinning around, around, and around.
“It’s alright, love. I got you. Everything is going to be fine. Tell me where it hurts. Jazz please. Let me help you!” He practically begged me.
“I’m okay, Jay… I’m okay… just hold me… please just hold me and don’t ever let go.”
“I’m here, I’m not going anywhere,” he assured me, rocking me lightly back and forth.
When my body refused to stop shaking, he scooped me out of the water, dried me off and dressed me in a silk cream nightie that barely covered my rear end. Helping me back into bed, he recovered me with the thick blankets and tucked me in tight, hoping that would help warm me up. “There now. You rest for a minute and I’ll put the twins to bed and be right back. Will you be alright by yourself for a little while?”
I simply nodded, thankful to have a few minutes alone in which to pull myself together. My headache had subsided, thank goodness. It wasn’t the amount of time I spent back in the past that triggered these painful episodes after all… it was the amount of changes made to “my present” that caused all of my discomfort when I returned and this time… I… managed… to change… EVERYTHING!
Since I had been so upset at Diego and my old boss, I reacted without thinking. I couldn’t help myself. All I saw was RED as my anger consumed me. I turned my back on that job without realizing all that it would entail. I just walked away, never to be employed there. That meant that I never met my husband, and if I never met Diego, then we never got married.