by Melanie Rose
It was early morning, but I could already feel the blazing Vegas sun on my skin. Viv sat hunched at the edge of the pool while I slowly eased my way in… the water was freezing cold in contrast to the sun.
She looked grim, the complete opposite of the girl I grew up with. She had a sadness about her… she was distant… maybe even scared of something. “Viv, talk to me. I know there’s something bothering you. What is it? Maybe I can help.”
“No one can help me,” she said, hopelessly staring off into space.
“I would like to try, if you’d let me.”
I paddled around in silence for a while until she said, “How did you know about the baby? I just found out myself. You cannot tell from just looking at me. So how did you figure it out?”
“Lucky guess,” I said, shrugging my shoulders out of the water.
“I guess it doesn’t matter, not really. I don’t know what I want to do about the baby. I don’t even know if I want to have a baby. If I’ll make a good or semi-decent mom,” she confessed with vacant eyes.
“Can I ask where the father is?”
“I don’t know… jail maybe,” she said nonchalantly.
“Viv, you have to do what’s best for you and only you. Do not let anyone make this decision for you. Listen to your heart. Let that be your guide. You’re the one that is going to have to live with whatever decision you make in the end. Being a mom is not easy. I’m still getting used to the idea myself. I don’t think it’s something that we are ever fully prepared for. It changes you; you become a different person… a better person because of them… for them. You realize that you live for them as your world starts to revolve completely around them.
You’re a strong, smart, and caring woman. You’ll make the right choice for yourself. Just don’t make any hasty decisions right now. Trust me on this, this is not something you want to be forced or pressured into. You don’t need a man around to be a good mother. You do, however need a good Godmother. Hint, hint.”
I couldn’t believe that she was in the same position I was in all those years ago. My one wrong decision almost killed me; I refuse to let Vivian go through what I went through. I learned it the hard way enough for the both of us to benefit from. What I told her, was exactly what I would have wanted to hear when I was in the same predicament. I would have given anything to have someone who didn’t judge me in my corner back then. Viv would know that I was here for her regardless of the outcome if it was the last thing I ever did. I refuse to let her feel the loneliness that I was forced to endure once upon a time.
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience, Jazz and how can you still be getting used to having kids? Aren’t the twin six now?” she said, lashing out at me.
Shoooooot, did pregnancy make her ass more observant? Just brush it off… do not become defensive, I instructed myself. “Look, don’t think about it right now. You finally came home after being on the run for all these years. Spend some time with your family, your friend’s, maybe stepping back for a few days is all you need in order to see things from a whole new prospective.”
“Whatever… maybe!”
Viv ended up ditching me the first chance she got and headed off to have breakfast with Joel, Maya, and Bobby as I went up stairs to rinse off. Jay was already is the shower so I jumped in with him.
“You’re a little red, you know,” he said, checking out my shoulders.
“It’s really hot out there already,” I informed him while I rinsed off most of the chlorine smell.
“No more sun for you, Mrs. Bishop… we’ll have to put something on this so you don’t peel.” Jay pulled me close and kissed my shoulders, which lead to kissing my neck, which lead to a whole lot of foreplay in the shower.
Since my belly got in the way a lot, we resorted to making love in all types of new and interesting positions. Jay did not want to add any of his weight to my stomach what so ever since I was technically considered a high-risk pregnancy, but that didn’t stop us. If the sex didn’t hurt, we were having it… all the time.
We never made it to breakfast. Or lunch!
We spent the bulk of the day curled up together. Everyone must have been out doing their own thing considering no one even bothered to call and check on us. By the afternoon, we were heavy into round three of my birthday sex when the suite door opened. Thank God, our bedroom door was shut or else we would have been caught in the act. We could hear a guy and a girl laughing and talking dirty to each other in the living area.
It was Maya and Bobby for Pete’s sake.
Jay and I remained very still as we strained to listen with our bodies still connected as one. We heard another door close and then some loud moaning started up soon after that.
Oh My God! They were doing it. We were doing it.
It was funny and erotic all at the same time. Jay must have agreed with me as he started pumping again, but much slower and deeper this time. We were teenagers trying not to get caught again. I bit down on the sheets trying not to moan myself, alerting the other two that they had an audience.
The others were done with their secret quickie and left long before Jay and I were remotely finished. When we heard the front door slam shut, leaving us in the suite alone once again, Jay’s strokes picked up more speed and depth. Our moans grew louder and louder until we came at the same time like always as we both fell out laughing onto the bed.
At dinner that night, neither one of us could hold a straight face. Maya and Bobby were acting perfectly normal, but I could see the secret little looks they would give each other when they thought no one was paying any attention. I wonder how many quickies these two have actually had while we’ve been here.
Well, one friend is happy at least.
I say mission complete, patting myself on the back. It would be up to them where their relationship went from here… I just set it in motion. Now I have to try to help Vivian, which was definitely more of a challenge.
On Sunday, Viv rode back with Joel while Maya rode home with Bobby. She had cancelled her plane ticket, claiming that it would save her some money, but I knew better than that.
I didn’t tell her that Jay and I were in the next room and knew everything. I assumed she didn’t want to jinx herself in case things didn’t exactly work out when they got home. So, I figured when she was ready for me to know… she would pick up the phone and call.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF August and I still had three weeks left until my due date, but my body was tired. If this baby decided to come early, I would gladly welcome it. My doctor had put me on bed rest two days ago and believe me… it wasn’t fun. How do people just lie around in the bed all day when you have kids, a husband, and a business to tend to?
I am not a happy camper and down right bitchy! Remaining stationary was not my forte.
Having to keep in contact with my staff via cell phone or e-mail, my laptop had easily become my new best friend. Maya and Bobby were still going strong, but I decided against informing her that I already knew about the secret quickie thing in Vegas. There was no need to embarrass them. I will let them enjoy each other and their newfound happiness in peace.
Vivian on the other hand, did another one of her disappearing acts so no one could get in contact with her... once again! I was a little pissed about that, how am I supposed to help someone who didn’t want to be found? With my hands tied, I tried like hell to be patient and waited for some sort of sign on what my next move was supposed to be where she was concerned. I just pray that she resurfaces some time soon and doesn’t allow another seven years to pass us by.
AHHHHHHHHH!!!! I screamed.
Retching in extreme pain, I curled into a ball, almost sending the computer crashing to the floor. Breathing hard, I clinched my teeth to keep from screaming again. Sweat started to bead on my forehead as Jay burst thru our bedroom door like a mad man, rushing to my aid.
“Jazz…. Jazz what’s wrong? Is it time?”
I couldn�
��t answer him… I couldn’t even catch my breath. I was panting extra hard, trying to breathe in what little oxygen I could while holding my stomach. It felt like the baby was trying to claw their way out of my belly button. He made a call and then scooped me up, and carried me out to the car. After getting me buckled in, he headed back into the house, but was back within two minutes and was now speeding towards the hospital.
“Jazz, you’re going to be okay. Mrs. Marshall from next door is with the twins. Love, stay with me. Do you hear me? Stay with me!” he said, clutching my hand.
AHHHHHHHHHHH! Fuck this shit hurts. I kept my teeth locked shut as another contraction ripped thru me, causing my grip to tighten on Jay’s hand until it passed. I couldn’t speak to let him know what was happening… I was afraid I would throw up. The smell of car exhaust was making my stomach turn. Doubling over in pain from every little bump in the road, Jay kept trying to sooth me by telling me that everything would be alright soon.
Well, maybe his ass should try giving birth then!
“UHHHHH GROSS!!! My water… my water just broke.” I choked out, unlocking my jaw as I sat in the warm, gooey substance that just gushed out of my bloated body. Nausea claimed me finally and just as I thought, I threw up all over the glove box in front of me.
“We’re almost there, love. Just hold on… I’m begging you to hold on for a few more minutes.”
He never let my hand go, no matter how hard I squeezed. Damn… I probably crushed a few of his carpal bones. At the hospital, everyone exploded into action when he carried me thru the emergency room doors. They had me redressed in a hospital gown with my legs up in cold metal stirrups before I knew it. I stayed focused on Jay’s face the entire time. I neither saw nor heard anything else around me. I locked onto his orbs to help pull me through this ordeal.
It hurt like a bitch though! Where the fuck is my epidural? My mind lashed out, when I couldn’t find my voice again. Jay mouthed something to me, but I couldn’t quite understand him. He was pleading with me; he wanted me to do something. I tried to concentrate through the pain, straining with all my might to focus on his words.
“Push, love. PUSH,” he screamed at me, finally breaking through the silence.
Push???
Has he lost his damn mind! Here I am trying to hold myself together and he wants me to freakin’ push. Another contraction hit me not too long after the last one. I gripped his hand tighter. Isn’t there supposed to be a rest period between pains?
“Push, Jazz. You have to push,” he repeated.
My body responded to his voice automatically. It wanted to obey and follow his command regardless of how hard I was trying to fight it. Bearing down, I relaxed my hips, did as I was told, and began pushing.
“That’s my girl,” he assured me, a little too happily.
At least one of us is having a good time and it sure in the hell isn’t me!
Another contraction rocked me. This time, pushing hard, I held it for as long as I could. But before the pain could subside on its own, I gasped out of sheer relief as our baby broke free from my body, taking their first lungful of air. I fell back on Jay exhausted; I hadn’t even realized that he had been helping me sit up all that time.
“You did it. You did it,” he praised, as our baby’s cry echoed throughout the room.
“Congratulations… it’s a girl!” said someone that I couldn’t see. I had completely forgotten there were other people in the room with us until I heard them say that.
“It’s a girl, love. A girl,” he said, kissing me all over my sweaty face. “We have ourselves another sweet baby girl.”
They gave Jay the honor of cutting the cord and then handed him his new baby daughter. Wrapped in a fuzzy pink blanket, Jay gently placed her in my arms as I reached up for her. “Hello Cambria,” I whispered lovingly, planting a kiss on her forehead.
Once they had her all cleaned up and moved me to my own private room, I just held her in my arms and stared at her lovely little face. She looked like her father, but had my eyes. I played with her tiny fingers as she stretched and yawned, causing a perfect set of dimples to flash at me. “Look, babe. She has your smile,” I displayed as he doted over us.
He made all the call to our friends and family, spreading the good news. Flowers, balloons, and teddy bears already began to filter into our room. She was three weeks early, but perfectly healthy at 6 pounds, 12 ounces. She was the baby that I should have had all those years ago. My pregnancy with her began exactly around the same time my first pregnancy was terminated. She was my redo… an opportunity to get it right this time. I was blessed with another chance to right another horrible wrong in my life.
The nurses had dressed her in a tiny white hospital t-shirt, filling in her birth information for us. The shirt read, “I was born at 3:33am on August 6 at….” My mind wandered off. August 6th …. August 6th just happened to be my dad’s birthday as well. My hand immediately fumbled for the charm on the chain around my neck. Holding it tight in my palm, I wished that my dad could have been here to meet his new granddaughter in person, but I knew in my heart of hearts he was smiling down on us all the same.
I was released from the hospital and back home the very next day. My mother-in-law was a gift from God. She dropped everything and flew out here from Vegas as soon as she got the call. While I was still in the hospital, she completely organized the entire nursery on my behalf. It had been a mess, full of presents from my baby shower the day before I was sentenced to bed rest. I thought I had plenty of time to get around to it and straighten it all up before her arrival into the world. Man, was I wrong! She had even washed, folded and put away all of Cambria’s new clothes for me, making sure the room was in perfect order for her homecoming.
Jay replayed the story of Bria’s birth to anyone and everyone that would listen. He was a proud papa. I just wished he would have left out the part about me making an utter mess of the passenger side of the car though. He rattled off the whole story to his mom from start to finish as I sat quietly in the corner, nursing the baby. He began his tale by explaining to her how I gave birth within thirty minutes of my first contraction.
Shit, was it only thirty minutes? It felt like an eternity. I have newfound respect for the mothers who say they were in labor for hours. I don’t know how they manage to survive that, when I barely got thru half a damn hour, I thought to myself as he spoke.
He went on to tell her how I did it all without the help of any drugs. Pleeeez, I’m still upset about that one. So don’t remind me. He said that he had been in Jasmine’s room trying to get the monster out of her closet, when he heard my wail. He even told her that I didn’t require any stitches after I gave birth. What the hell did she need to know that for? He just went on and on and on.
The twins loved their new baby sister. They talked to her and sung her songs while they stroked her hair gently. They ran all around the house for me, getting little things that I needed throughout the day. It was nice to have extra sets of hands around, willing to help out. One big happy family… my family.
I had been in this new reality for six months now and the entire time I feared that it would all be taken away from me at the drop of a hat. So I took it one day at a time and lived each one as if it were my last since I never knew what I might be waking up to, come tomorrow.
Could I finally afford to let down my guard and stop worrying about that?
My first night home, Jay and his mom did most of the work caring for Cambria while I rested. I was so tired with a building headache that I needed to lay down for just a second before I abruptly found myself standing in some unknown dim, sparsely room. A bed was pushed against one of the bare walls and on top of it… laid Vivian.
Above the patchwork covers, she stared blank-faced up at the ceiling with tears streaming down her head, drowning out her ears with her swollen belly poking straight up. She must be at least six or seven months along now by the looks of it. Gently sitting down on the bed next to her, it was obvious
that she felt the bed dip in where I had sat, but it didn’t seem like she could see me. She had raised her head slightly, but didn’t acknowledge my presence even after I had whispered her name. Waving a hand right through my body, she searched for a cause, but felt nothing but air.
Now that was weird. Plus, it rather tickled even though I held no solid form.
Figuring that she had only imagined feeling the bed sag beside her, she settled her head back down on the pillow, and resumed her crying.
My heart went out to her as I tried unsuccessfully to hold her hands. She seemed so shattered and lost that I only wanted to sooth her sorrows away. Leaning forward, I stroked back her coarse black hair from her face knowing that it wouldn’t do any good since she couldn’t feel it, but to my surprise, her eyes grew wide as saucers.
Viv sucked in air between her teeth the moment she felt my touch. I had to give her credit. She didn’t jump back or try to make a mad break for it, even though she was well aware that someone else was in the room with her… someone that she couldn’t see. Following a strong gut instinct, I kissed her upon her forehead, assuring her that I meant her no harm.
With her parted lips, quivering, “Mom?” she spoke wildly. I was a little taken back by that one single word considering Viv’s mom had been murdered when she was just a little girl, leaving her to be raised by her grandmother.
Before I could put more thought into what she was saying… a bright light suddenly illuminated the space, drawing my attention over to the left side of the room. As if summoned, a strange woman had appeared out of thin air in the room with us. Literally glowing, I could feel the warmth vibrating off her as I backed away from the bed slowly when she got too close to me. She immediately took my place by Vivian’s side and continued stroking her hair back gently just as I had done a moment ago.