by Marni Bates
Charlene chuckled, and the sound was rich, low, and soothing. “Michelle’s always a little intense, but she keeps things running.” In a movement that showed both grace and years of practice, Charlene flicked open several sets of eyeshadow. “Most everyone here is running on caffeine and determination. That includes me. Now, let’s get a good look at you, sweetie.”
She gave my face an intense study, as if my every pore needed close examination.
“You have flawless skin,” she told me as she pulled out one of her brushes. “You don’t need cover-up or anything.” She shook her head. “You’ve probably never had acne a day in your life, have you.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. “Uh, yeah. That’s never been a problem.”
Charlene gave another one of her chuckles. “Some people have all the luck. Well, you’re making it easier for me. Close your eyes, please.”
It was weird to hear myself being described as lucky. I’d spent so many years thinking that everything about myself (with a few exceptions like my mom, brother, and friends) was the product of misfortune. I’d never considered myself lucky with my looks. It was all just too blah. Brown hair, brown eyes, and skin that turned the color of an overripe tomato when I blushed.
Charlene kept up a steady running commentary as she worked on me. “We’ll have Michael fix your hair once I’m done. He’ll know exactly how best to set off that dress of yours. It’s gorgeous. Where’d you get it?”
I shrugged, which I realized was a mistake when she hissed and jerked her hand back before whatever she was applying smudged. I knew that I was in the right outfit. Last night, I hadn’t felt so casual when I was pawing through the clothing I hastily packed in my suitcase in a desperate attempt to find something to wear. When I saw the dress, the rich blue one I’d held breathlessly in my bedroom that first day when the packages started coming, I knew that it had been waiting for this. It had been waiting for me to figure out that it was the simplicity in the dress, the stylish but discreet way it draped on curves, that made it me. While that red halter dress I’d worn to the party was fun and flashy, it just didn’t suit me the way this did.
Maybe it’s stupid, but picking out that dress on my own felt like a step—a big one. While I was glad Corey had nodded his approval after a critical examination, and the rest of the guys had wolf whistled, I would have worn it even if he’d said, “You know, Mackenzie, it’s nice but I think we can do better.” I knew it was right, and for the first time that was all that mattered.
“BCBG Max Azria.” It still felt strange for me to label drop.
“Well, it looks amazing,” Charlene continued. “Makes your skin look creamy and really pulls out the brown in your eyes.”
I had no idea what she meant. I mean, my eyes are so obviously brown I doubt I need a dress to make them look browner. But it sounded like she approved, so I wisely kept my mouth shut.
“You know who you look like?” she said thoughtfully while applying another coat of something to my eyelids. I really wanted her to just be finished already. “Anne Hathaway. Doesn’t she look like a young Anne Hathaway? Right after The Princess Diaries or something.”
“Yeah, she does actually.” I could hear the amusement in Corey’s voice and was tempted to risk the annoyance of Charlene and sneak a peak at him. Then I remembered she was doing eyeliner and quickly shut my eyes again.
“She could even pull off a Keira Knightley look.” Charlene moved to my mouth, and I felt her coat my lips with something that stung but in a good way. “She’s stunning, but too thin in my opinion. She looks like she could use a week’s worth of home-cooked meals,” she clucked. “They say there’s no such thing as too thin in Hollywood, but trust me, honey, it’s not true. You don’t go starving yourself, now. Blot.”
“I won’t,” I promised as I followed her orders.
“Good.” She carefully applied mascara for me. I had to keep reminding myself that I should trust the professional as the wand came closer and closer to my eye. It was hard for me not to flinch. “You’re ready for Michael now, honey.” She shut her makeup case with a satisfying snap. “Just be yourself and you’ll be fine.”
It was great advice, and I kept mentally repeating it to myself while Michael, Corey, and I chatted about the show and the celebrities whose hair had been in his hands. I actually turned Charlene’s words into my own personal mantra. Be myself. Just be myself. To my own self, be true.
That was what I thought, punctuated by, Oh, my God, I’m really going to do this! on an endless loop as I stood in the wings waiting for my introduction, for the music to play, for my cue to be given.
Then it was showtime.
Chapter 36
Ellen DeGeneres played the YouTube video before my introduction—well, the last twenty seconds or so. Just enough for the audience to see my frantic expression and Alex’s shocked one as I pumped away with the chest compressions. My screaming set of questions (AM I KILLING HIM RIGHT NOW?) blared out, much to the amusement of everyone in the room. So when I strolled onto the stage with jellyfish legs, it was to the sounds of applause and laughter from the studio audience.
I smiled at the audience, which was gyrating to one of ReadySet’s megahits as I focused on placing one foot in front of the other. Suddenly, I was getting a friendly hug from Ellen, who is even prettier up close than on TV. Her short blond hair and blue eyes gleamed under the set lights. It made me wonder if she had someone like Charlene following her around everywhere backstage. I doubted it. She just seemed too low-key casual for that, especially since she was wearing basic jeans, sneakers, a white shirt, and a vest. It’s not everyone who can pull off a vest, but Ellen made it look surprisingly good.
“Hi, Mackenzie,” Ellen said, releasing me from the hug so we could both sink into the überplushy furniture.
“Hi. Thanks for having me on the show.”
Good. Words were coming out of my mouth. That was a very good sign.
“Thanks for being here. So about that YouTube video ...”
I laughed self-consciously. “Yeah. That was pretty embarrassing.”
“It’s hilarious. It really is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. When he started twitching and you just shoved him back into the pavement.” She laughed. “You really had no idea he was fine?”
I shook my head. “I wish it had all been an act, but the video wasn’t planned. I’m not a good actor. I could never convince anyone if it wasn’t genuinely me, freaking out.”
“Have you thought about taking any CPR classes?”
I grinned at her even though that question had been haunting me through the halls of Smith High School. Actually what I heard the most were catcalls of, “Hey, Mackenzie! Want to practice mouth-to-mouth?” but it was similar. It made me wonder whether Logan and Spencer had talked to anyone else at school for me. I made myself focus on the question again. My one moment on national television was not the time to obsess over some boy. Even Logan.
“No CPR plans at the moment, and after that experience I have definitely ruled out medicine as a possible career.”
“So tell me about this video. Who did all the filming? It’s remarkably steady.”
“You know what? I honestly don’t know. That’s one mystery I haven’t solved. I just came home and found my little brother, Dylan, freaking out.”
Ellen grinned. “What did he say?”
“Well, he yelled about how I was all over the Internet. Then he mentioned shipping me off somewhere until the embarrassment died down. I think he wanted to disown me.”
“Well, that was brotherly.” Ellen’s deadpan made everyone laugh.
“No, he was great. Not at first, maybe, but my family and friends have really been great about all of this. It hasn’t been easy on them either. When you hear that I became famous over YouTube, it sounds like my life has suddenly become all about rock stars and designer clothes. That’s been part of it for sure, but it’s been way more complicated. I’m talking crowds of people takin
g pictures and the paparazzi following me—and that’s just the obvious stuff. There have been all sorts of crazy rumors going around.”
“Rumors about what?”
“Sex ... drugs ... rock and roll.”
“Speaking of rock and roll,” Ellen segued, and the audience laughed, knowing exactly where she was going with her lead-in. “We heard you were awfully close with a certain rock star.”
And then up on the screen behind her was a blown-up copy of Tim and me at the concert. Blown up 300 percent you could really see the dopey, awestruck expression on my face, which had more to do with singing onstage than being love-struck ... but nobody else knew that.
“Uh, yeah,” I managed. “That’s Tim.”
“Oh, you call him Tim. Do you call him anything else? Like, say, ‘my boyfriend.’ ”
I couldn’t help snorting with laughter. Which must have appeared oh-so attractive on television, but the whole thing was just ridiculous. Hearing Ellen guess about my love life (well, Tim’s love life) tempted me to say, “No, Ellen, see he’s dating my best friend Corey.” Then Corey could wave lamely at the camera from his seat in the audience. But even though I knew Ellen would love that, I couldn’t out my best friend and his new rock star boyfriend on national television.
So instead I said, “No, Ellen. Tim is just a friend. He’s a really great guy, but there’s nothing like that going on between us. He’s actually involved with someone at the moment.”
The audience let out a sigh, which probably included some disappointment from his loyal female fan base. If only they knew.
“He’s really great at giving relationship advice though—all the guys are, actually.”
Maybe I should’ve just waited for Ellen to ask another question.
“Have you become close with the other members of the band?”
“Uh, Chris and Dominic? Sure. I rode down here on the tour bus with all of them.”
“Sounds like you were surrounded by some very attractive young men.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond,
“Um, yeah. I guess I was. It wasn’t a big deal though. The guys were great.”
“Oh, I bet.”
I tried to hold back another snort. “It wasn’t like that. These guys are actually my friends, which happened surprisingly fast. I guess when you spend two days on the road, that happens, though.”
“So you spent two days on the road with a group of rock stars. What did you have to talk about?”
“It was funny, actually. My friend Corey asked about my love life, so suddenly I had all the boys translating guy speak for me.”
“Ah, guy speak. That’s kind of like Pig Latin, isn’t it?”
Ellen makes everything funnier. Although I guess she has to, since that’s her job.
“Yeah, see, guy makes no sense to me. So they were all giving me dating advice. Which I greatly appreciated.”
Ellen’s eyes twinkled with mirth. “Really. Is your love life that confusing?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Tell us about it.”
“Well, there are these guys and ... I cannot believe I am sharing this on national television!”
“Can’t stop now!”
But I probably should have.
“Well, I guess I was interested in both of them, only I didn’t realize it. And both of them hardly knew I existed, so it didn’t seem to matter what I thought. Until the videos hit YouTube, and they really started talking to me.”
“Ooh,” said Ellen. “I like the sound of this.”
“Yeah, apparently when you’re famous, people pay attention. Anyhow, I went to a party—where I did not do drugs. I was just trying not to geek out, because this was the first party I’d ever been invited to, when they walked over.”
I could feel all eyes glued to me, and I knew the story would be all over school by the next day, but I didn’t care. I was taking charge.
“Uh-oh.”
“Right. So one of them took me outside, and I’m trying not to trip in my heels since I’ve never worn them before and they’re already cutting off my circulation.”
“Ouch,” said Ellen feelingly. “That’s why I wear sneakers.”
“That would have felt significantly better. Anyhow, we’re outside, and it’s a beautiful night, and he’s looking soulfully into my eyes.” I turned toward her and opened mine a little wider to demonstrate. “Kind of like this. And I’m thrilled he even knows my name ... when he tells me that he loves me.”
I made a face so that everyone could tell I wasn’t enamored with Patrick’s declaration. The weird thing was, while I knew I should definitely be keeping my mouth shut, I thought it was fair game. Patrick had accused me of only being after the fame, and I was making him regret those words in a very real way. It was more than a little fun to watch karma kick into action.
“The nerve! Saying that he loves you. What an awful thing to do.” Ellen couldn’t keep her face straight.
“To be fair, my reaction was bad. Really bad. He said, ‘I love you,’ and all I could come up with as a response was, ‘No, you don’t.’ ”
The audience roared with appreciative laughter.
“Seriously. And while we were doing the whole, ‘Yes, I do’ ‘No, you don’t’ back-and-forth thing, I saw the other guy making out with the most popular girl in school.”
Everyone said “aw” sympathetically, which actually made me feel better about the whole thing. I had no idea that discussing my personal life on television would feel so ... therapeutic.
“So that’s why it was great having a whole panel of guys giving me advice.”
“Apologizing here might work.” Ellen turned toward a camera. “She didn’t mean it, ‘I love you’ boy!”
“Well, actually I did.”
“I’m confused. What was wrong with ‘I love you’ boy?”
“Nothing, really. It’s just ... okay, he’s the type who’d buy someone roses for Valentine’s Day. Which on the surface is great. Nothing wrong with roses. But even if you dropped some serious hints that what you really wanted was an artichoke with a big pink bow on it so that you could have a heart-ichoke, he’d still get the generic roses. And for me ...”
“You want an artichoke.” Ellen made it sound ridiculous but not in a bad way. Just like it was really funny.
“Yeah, I want an artichoke.”
Put that way, my life made a lot more sense. Logan was an artichoke. He was multilayered and a bit prickly, but he was also edgy and fun and different. I should have recognized it before, but I guess I’d been too thrown off by his Notable-ness.
“Well, I bet you’ll have no trouble getting them now. So after this first video hit YouTube, you became a singer. You have a wonderful voice. Why don’t you tell us about that.”
“Well, Tim sent me an invitation to his Portland concert, and I took two of my friends backstage. So Corey and Jane”—I paused and waved at the camera with a sheepish grin. “Hi, Jane!”
Ellen waved too. “Hi, Jane.”
“She’s going to love that. Anyhow, the three of us went to the concert, and after I stopped mentally shrieking at being in their proximity, we got to know the guys. So when Tim invited me out onto the stage, my friend Corey—that’s Corey.” I pointed at him and, startled, he smiled at the camera that had swiveled around to face him. “Corey thought it’d be funny to make me go onstage. That scared the hell out of me, since I’m not overly confident about my dancing skills.”
Which was totally the wrong thing to say in front of Ellen. She grinned.
“It’s easy. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
Since she was out of her chair and dancing to the music that was instantly beating through the room, I couldn’t exactly refuse. Especially since the audience was cheering for me. That’s how I ended up dancing on The Ellen DeGeneres Show even after I promised myself I wouldn’t.
It was thankfully short, and as we settled back into our seats she gave me a warm smile that was full of amusement.
“You were fine.”
“Hah. Thanks. That’s sweet of you to say. But when I was at the concert I completely froze, so Corey rushed on as a dance partner. Then Tim thought it’d be funny to get me to sing with him for a bit ... and the rest is on YouTube.”
“Well, you sound terrific. Do you have any singing plans?”
“You know, I really don’t. I’m flattered that people like the clip, but I know I don’t have the drive you need to make it in the industry. On the bus ride here the guys and I fooled around a bit—”
“Aha!”
“Musically!” I laughed. “We worked on a song together that I think we’re going to play for you. And if no one throws tomatoes, then I’ll record it in the studios with them—but that’s going to be it. Then it’s back to studying for AP tests and tutoring.”
Although, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned the tutoring, given the precarious way I’d left things with Logan.
“Well, we can’t wait to hear it. But before we do, I’ve got something for you.”
I sat up straighter. “You didn’t have to. Really, Ellen, just being here is more than exciting enough.”
“Well, we found something that every studious, awkward girl needs. Especially if she’s going to stay in touch with her rock star boy ‘friend.’ ”
She handed me a rectangular package that had some serious weight to it. I ripped off the wrapping paper in quick, economical movements to reveal something that quite frankly made my heart do a squeezing palpitation thing.
It was a laptop. A brand-new MacBook. I was instantly sure of that when I felt the squishy laptop case. Of course Ellen’s face was branded across the cover, and it read Ellen-Book—but that just made it even cooler.
I didn’t scream. That in itself is a minor miracle considering the way Ellen DeGeneres casually handed me the very thing I’d been obsessing over for months. I’d wasted so much time calculating: How many hours of tutoring would it take? What if I did some babysitting on the weekend? How many months of setting aside every dollar before a laptop would be mine? All of that work, and the computer was just handed to me with no strings attached.