Chicken??? Just what was she trying to say? I mean, yes, I was a total chicken, as evidenced by letting myself get bullied by Jack to come to his place, but I was making big strides. Okay, I just snuck by Kevin’s door and I was going to sneak by it again. But chicken? Really?
“Excuse me?” I asked before she closed the door.
“What’s that?”
“Did you call me ‘chicken’?” I asked trying to force a small laugh.
“Oh yes. Sorry. Actually an Irish term of endearment. It’s like ‘sweetheart.’ I tend to forget it means something else entirely here. You’re all good, sweetie. Bye.”
My mind a jumbled mess, I started to sneak back down the hall checking my watch. One minute left.
“I thought that was your voice I heard,” Kevin said stepping into my path. I almost swallowed my tongue. He pulled me into a hug and gave the side of my head a kiss.
“What are you up to tonight? I was thinking of catching a movie. Want to join me? Just relaxing,” he said.
I blinked at him, trying to process everything. He was was as sexy as ever, wearing a tight green T-shirt that made his eyes pop and slim fitting jeans. If I weren’t headed to another man’s place, I would have pushed him right back into his apartment and asked for a repeat of last night. But the fact of the matter was, I was headed to Jack’s when I’d already intended to stay in and rest. What a cluster-fuck I’d created. I really had to get this cursing thing under control.
“That sounds great, but I’m actually headed out. Another night?” I tried.
His eyes darted down to my bag and his face fell. “Oh. Jack?” he asked.
Oh my God. I can’t breathe. What am I doing?
“That’s okay. We’re not exclusive… yet,” he said winking a long lashed eye at me. “I asked for another chance, and you’re giving me that. It’s cool. Have fun.” He leaned in and sweetly kissed my cheek, and ducked back into his apartment.
Did that just happen? Who is this guy? How was someone so young, so wise and generous?
Suddenly the elevator doors dinged and opened. There stood Jack. I quickly got my feet moving and slapped a smile on my face.
CHAPTER 27
Stepping into the elevator, he looped an arm around my waist. “I was beginning to think you’d changed your mind. I was on my way to change it back,” he said as the elevator doors closed.
Jack sniffed in my direction. “Is that you who smells like steak?” He nuzzled his nose in my hair and inhaled, moaning. Okay, confirmed. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. “I could eat you up,” he said, turning his body so he was standing in front of me.
Oh, have mercy! I could barely breathe. I was having flashbacks of making out with Kevin in this elevator. I became terribly aware of the walls closing in on me.
“Um, shouldn’t we be going? There’s a cab downstairs,” I managed.
He leaned over and pressed the Lobby button, then leaned in and deeply kissed me. “I love kissing in elevators. Don’t you?” he asked with his mouth not leaving mine.
My only response was to kiss him back. My lips had a mind of their own when Jack’s mouth was around. And Yes, kissing in a moving elevator is pretty damn nice.
Exiting the building, the cab was still there waiting for us. Jack opened the door and ushered me in. I glanced at the meter and winced when I noted that the fare was already over twenty dollars. Jack knocked on the glass and we were on our way.
“I ordered Italian to be delivered to my place. I hope you’re okay with that.”
“I love Italian food. Thank you.”
As the cab pulled away, Jack’s cell phone chimed. He pulled out the phone and answered it.
“Hello… I don’t care. The contract was quite clear… No, he can’t fucking do that!… Well, take care of it. That’s what I pay you for!” he barked then ended the call and shoved the phone back in his coat pocket.
“Look, if you need to get back to the office, I –” I started.
“I need to get some things straight with you. The office will be fine,” he said, pinning me to the seat with his eyes.
What a departure from what Greg would have done. Since as long as I could remember, he was always leaving me and the family to attend to some contract or client. And even now, when he was Vice President and had people working for him, he still took on contracts and such when the person he’d assigned to do the job was failing. It would be impossible to count the number of times he had cut out of dinner, or the kids’ baseball games, track meets, or performances for some work project. And as the kids started leaving the house, it was getting worse, as evidenced on our anniversary.
Jack searched my face trying to read me. I was glad he couldn’t. He silently took my hand, laced our fingers, and sat back, glaring out the window as the cab made its way downtown toward his place.
Clearly he wasn’t in a mood to talk, so I just held his hand and tried to organize my thoughts before we were at his place.
A twenty-five minute soak, with an insanely rich milk bath from France that Jack insisted I use, surrounded by vanilla candles, and a buttery chardonnay to sip, relaxed me as I never imagined. The in-house speaker system softly played classical tunes. I recognized Bach, and Mozart and Beethoven. There were pieces I didn’t recognize and I made a mental note to start listening to this kind of music more often. It was very calming.
Soaking in such luxury, I continued to mull over my two weeks here in New York and all that had transpired. I could hardly believe it’d been only two weeks. I had some burning questions about Jack that I had to get answered tonight.
Opting to wrap myself in an opulent robe that Jack put in the bathroom for me instead of my clothes, I started to make my way downstairs to find him.
As I passed his bedroom, I ducked inside to take a look around. The music followed me in here, saving me from silence. The room was nice but fairly non-descript, like the rest of his home. A couple pieces of artwork but nothing personal. A king-sized bed. An oversized, very plush, small sofa. The sofa.
My eyes darted to the secret paneled wall which was quietly concealing all sorts of things I couldn’t seem to recall at the moment. I ran my fingers over the cool wood. I was so tempted to press it and try to open the door, but I was afraid that Jack would hear me and I would be in trouble.
I inhaled. The room smelled masculine like the rest of his home, an undertone of leather and spice. I eyed the sofa. The sofa where he delivered my punishment for talking about Greg in his bed. Instantly, my breath grew shallow and I felt myself grow heated and slick between my thighs. Why had that spanking turned me on so much?
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I shouldn’t be in here. I shouldn’t even be at Jack’s home. I really shouldn’t. So why was I here? Why did I keep coming back?
I left the room and went in search of Jack. As I admired the artwork that adorned so many walls and sculptures carefully placed all around, I tried to figure out why Jack Stevens would have chosen each piece. There the famous paintings, well, those were collector items. Investments. An incredible photograph of the New York City skyline. Again, a no brainer. And then there was a farm painting that closely resembled the foothills of Colorado. To me that was an easy one. I wondered if anyone else would have figured that one out.
Eventually I found Jack in his home office, tapping away on his laptop. A smart pair of glasses sat on his strong face, amplifying his attractiveness. His tie was unknotted and hung from his neck with the top buttons undone, revealing that hollow spot. Although I had the urge to kiss that spot, I stood quietly in the shadows, enjoying simply watching him work to the music that followed me down here.
Jack’s face was animated as he clicked and typed. He truly seemed to love what he did. When Greg was pouring over his laptop and reports, he was constantly scowling and grumbling. I tended to keep my distance.
“Are you going to keep spying? Or would you like to come in?” he asked without looking up.
“How
long have you known I was here?” I asked, stepping into the room, curling myself into the chair facing his desk.
“Oh, for about five minutes,” he replied, smirking.
“But I’ve only been here for five minutes,” I challenged.
“I have a very keen sense when it comes to you. I felt you at the door,” he said as he kept typing.
A few minutes went by until he slipped his glasses off and closed his laptop. He stood and walked over to me with effortless grace. I could watch him walk all day. No wonder he used to work the runways.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your work,” I apologized.
“It’s all good. I finished what I needed to do. Now, stop apologizing every time we’re together.”
I bit my lip so I wouldn’t apologize again. He stood in front of me and extended a hand.
“Come on. Let’s go sit in the living room. Did you like that wine? Would you like another glass?”
“Oh, yes please.” I took his hand and unfolded myself from the chair to stand. He quickly pulled me into his arms and inhaled.
“Hmmm, I’m not sure. I may have liked the steak more,” he laughed. I shook my head, and he tucked me into his side and we meandered to the living room.
With a fresh glass of wine in hand, I made myself comfy sitting in the oversized velvet chair.
Jack scanned the seating options then chose to sit on the sofa. “There’s plenty of room here,” he said, patting the space next to him. I smiled and got up and sat next to him, nestling into his side.
I looked up to find him gazing down at me with a new expression. Contentment?
The music continued in this room and we sat peacefully, listening. My head resting on his chest, I had the added percussion of Jack’s heartbeat. It was strong. Soothing.
“The music is beautiful,” I whispered.
“Just like you,” he said, kissing my forehead. “Did you enjoy your bath?”
“I did. Thank you.”
“My pleasure,” he said. “What did you do in there for so long?”
“I was thinking.” I reached up to finger the beautiful red tie that hung from his neck. I thought of another tie from a popular book we’d read in book club and surely blushed the color of the tie imagining this red one tied around my wrists.
Turning slightly to face me, he asked, “About what?”
Wow. Where do I start? I decided to start with the most confusing question I had.
“Why do you call me Beth? I’ve been Elizabeth for the past twenty years or so. I introduced myself to you as Elizabeth. In fact, I’ve never been called Beth in my life.”
“Because Beth sounds like breath. And to me, you are the breath of life.” I was in deep here. So, freakin’ deep. “What else?” he asked, planting a kiss on my temple. So reverent and sweet.
“What was your last serious relationship like?” I continued.
He took in a slow breath, releasing it as slowly was quiet. I looked up at him, taking in his wrinkled brow. “This will come out wrong, but it’s the honest truth. I don’t do relationships. No one has come close to catching my heart. It’s complicated, but relationships haven’t worked out for me. I have dated. I have had relations. But not a relationship. Not a partner I wanted to open up to.”
“Do you want to open up with me?” I asked, barely above a whisper.
He brushed a finger across my forehead, sweeping my bangs to the side, and then continued down and traced my jaw, his eyes examining my face. But it was a different kind of looking. He was looking into me, not at me. “More than you know.”
My heart constricted. I wasn’t sure how, but he had just reached in and indelibly marked my soul. Without telling me anything, he told me everything.
He ran his thumb over my lower lip. “I need to get something straight with you before we go any further here.” A curtain of seriousness dropped over his face. “I don’t share. It’s one reason I’ve not had a serious relationship. Maybe it’s because when I was a kid I had to share all the time. Whatever you have going on with your neighbor, I don’t like it. I know you’re in an… unusual situation, but… I don’t like any of it. I just can’t help myself when it comes to you. I find myself thinking in ways I’ve never thought before. I feel like you get me on such a different level than any other woman I’ve been with before.”
His words lit a fire in me. I was wanted. Truly and selfishly wanted. Jack didn’t want me to be with anyone else. Searching his eyes, I saw so much. Not just lust and heat, but need. And I did ‘get him’ on a different level. He needed me for me, not some ideology of what I should be. To cook and clean. I lifted my head and kissed his lips gently. He returned with the same tenderness. I tried to calm my breathing by taking a sip of wine.
I had no idea what to do here. I felt terrible. And yet wanted at the same time. He didn’t want to share me. Unlike Greg. Or even Kevin. But I also felt like I was hurting Jack. I was still married. And I was seeing Kevin. I loved how both Kevin and Jack made feel.
I was a total screw up.
CHAPTER 28
Dinner was delivered, interrupting the intense conversation, and we sat down to eat. I had my choice between gnocchi with grilled shrimp and pesto sauce, or farfalle with shrimp and vodka sauce. I went with the farfalle and it was delicious. Jack cleared the dishes for us, not letting me help. After he refilled my glass with the rest of the wine, we went back to the living room.
“The other night… When you –” I swallowed hard with the question I was about to pose — something that had been weighing on my mind since Wednesday night.
“It’s okay, Beth – you can ask.”
“When you… spanked me. Did you enjoy it?”
He sat back into his seat and rubbed at the slight beard that was growing there. “If you’ll recall, that did not start out with what I would call a ‘good’ spanking. No. It was more of a disciplinary action. But after, when I felt the fight drain out of you, and understanding set in, those were what I call ‘good,’ or ‘play-spankings.’ Those I enjoyed very much. And I’m aware that you did, too.” His eyes swept over my face, clearly loving the blush that came to my cheeks.
“Why? Why did you enjoy it?” I pushed. Dropping my eyes, I added, “Why did I like it?”
“There’s a fine line between pain and pleasure. And pleasure is enhanced by a degree of pain. Like salt making sweet things sweeter.” I was suddenly taken back to Kevin’s pre-cum mixing with the chocolate.
Jack continued with a strained voice. I’d hit a nerve. Not sure what nerve that was. Was he embarrassed? Or turned on?
“There’s also something to be said for being corrected,” he continued. “When I let you know in no uncertain terms that you’d crossed a line, you feel secure that there was no ambiguity in my position. And the spanking isn’t to injure, just to correct. Typically, I never discuss the transgression after discipline has been given. The only reason I’m even talking about this is because you asked. Do you understand?”
I nodded. It was sort of true. I knew exactly where he stood on that event. And I wasn’t exactly hurt. And definitely the sting and heat of the spankings amplified my pleasure afterward.
“So, your closet in your bedroom…” I continued.
He bristled slightly, regarding me carefully. “It’s not my bedroom.”
I considered him blankly. Not his room? That doesn’t make any sense.
“The bedroom. It’s not mine. Mine is down the hall, on the other side of the guest room. No one goes in there. Only me.”
Oh. I had been sure it was his bedroom, but come to think about it, I didn’t recall him ever dressing in there. I continued to scrutinize him, wanting to understand the secret paneled closet in whatever bedroom that was.
“So, the closet…” I pressed.
“I’d love to show you. Your body was made for sex, Beth, and I have no doubt your body would sing like a Stradivarius under my hand.”
Oh god! Yes! Please!
; He rose and extended a hand. Trembling with part fear, and part excitement, I let him help me stand. He gently ushered us to the foyer.
Together we climbed the stairs in silence, but our bodies said everything. His confidence, urging me forward. The way he dominated all of our interactions left no room for any doubts I might have had. That said, my pace wasn’t hesitant, in fact I was nearly running.
Standing in front of the door, he opened it and stood back. “Please, after you,” he said, his voice hoarse with growing need.
I stepped in, but the room suddenly felt very different from the one I was in only a short time ago.
Jack silently walked in behind me and sat on the oversized armchair. The room crackled with anticipatory tension. Suddenly a cluster of butterflies took up residence in my stomach. I had never been prone to that sensation and I really didn’t know what to do with it. I was a confident woman.
I felt my hands grow a tad clammy and my nipples tighten under the bathrobe, which initially felt very plush and cuddly. But now the fibers of that robe rubbed against my skin, waking my breasts with a fiery urge. I regarded Jack’s eyes. They were not the eyes I saw when the women flirted with him at the restaurant. Those eyes had a hint of humor and yet were empty at the same time. These eyes were hungry, hooded, and lustful. I saw him struggle to keep his breathing even.
“I’ll be honest,” he started, his voice strained. “I’m what’s known as a Dominant. Do you know what that is?”
I nodded. I’d read enough books in my book club. But those men wore faded, torn jeans and were barefoot and shirtless, as if it were some Dom uniform. Jack sat there in his designer suit and high-end leather, shoes making no move to change his clothes.
“It’s often said that ‘A Dom wants to be needed and that a sub needs to be wanted.’ ”
I sucked in my lower lip and bit down on it lightly. I do need to be wanted. Jack makes me feel wanted. My heart warmed at that thought.
“I want you. Without question. I want you so fucking bad. I want you in any way I can have you… in any way that you are willing to share yourself with me,” he confessed. “Do you need me?” he asked, his voice cracking just a tad.
Ditching The Dream (Dream Series) Page 19