by Kate Hardy
He groaned. “That’s not what I meant. I know you wouldn’t do that, Poppy. I was just ranting, saying things I should have talked about years ago instead of holding on to it for so long.”
“I want a child more than anything in the world, Harrison. Children to care for and love, to be their everything, and I would never, ever walk away from them.”
“I know that, Poppy. I don’t believe you would.”
“I get that you want to protect your kids, and I know that you’re a great dad, but you need to stop looking at everyone like a potential threat.” She’d blinked away her tears now, her strength growing as she spoke, her voice more confident than before. “Be careful, Harrison, but don’t isolate your family so much that you find yourself completely alone. Because by then it’ll be too late.”
Harrison knew she was right. Every inch of his body, his mind, was screaming out to him that what she was saying was true. But he still couldn’t admit it. If he did, it would be acknowledging that he’d been wrong all these years, that he’d been the one at fault.
“And what if you’re right? That I’m wrong?” he asked, because he couldn’t not.
Poppy touched his arm. “I know what it’s like to lose something you love, and I know how hard it is to admit to being wrong. But you have to make up your own mind, Harrison. About what’s right for you and for your family. Only you can do that.”
“I know, but sometimes it’s easier to push everyone away than take a chance on letting someone close.” He swallowed, hard, and stared past her, because it was easier than meeting her gaze. Easier than acknowledging the truth of her words.
“Last night was great, Harrison, and I appreciate you showing me around this morning, but I think it’s time I went home.”
Crap, he’d pushed too far and said too much. He was usually guilty of the exact opposite, yet today he hadn’t been able to hold back.
“You don’t have to leave,” he said, not ready to say goodbye to her, not yet. “I don’t want you to think that...”
“What?” she asked, shaking her head. “That you have the same opinion of me as you have of your ex, just because I’m a woman? That no one else understands what it’s like to have their heart ripped out by someone they loved and trusted more than anyone in the world?”
He shut his eyes, pushing back the anger so desperate to escape from within him. But this wasn’t a fight he needed to have with Poppy. It wasn’t her who had damaged him, who had left him, who had ripped his heart out and left him with two little children who’d become his entire world.
“I can’t help the way I am, Poppy. Don’t you think I’d do anything to wipe out the bitterness that’s plagued me since she left? To take away the pain and protectiveness I feel for my kids?” He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it, barely managing to keep the bite of fury back as it gnashed its teeth and threatened to emerge. “I don’t want to be this person, Poppy, but I can’t do anything about it. It’s who I am and I have to deal with it.”
She was the one angry now; he could see it in the flash of her eyes and the clench of her fists as she glared at him. “You’re not the only person who’s been hurt and left with a rough deal,” she snapped. “Do you think I wanted to start over, to see everything I’d ever worked for snatched away from me? Do you have any idea what it took to come here to a new town, alone, and make a fresh start? With a stupid smile on my face, as if I was the happiest person in the world and not a woman who’d lost everything?”
“I know you’ve been hurt, Poppy,” Harrison said in a low voice, trying his best to sound as sympathetic as he felt. “I’m not saying you’ve been hurt any less than I have, I’m just saying that this is the way I am. That I can’t get past what happened to me, what happened to my children.”
“Try harder, Harrison,” she said, her voice quiet but seething. “Try harder.”
Poppy spun on her heel then, marching back in the direction of the house, and he let her go. Because what was he going to say to her?
Especially when the only words going through his head were too hard for him to admit to.
She’s right.
He did a quick head count of the cattle and checked the fences, then walked up to the barn to get his quad bike. Climbing aboard, Harrison accelerated and headed toward the river, checking fences as he passed to make sure there hadn’t been any major damage after the storm. He slowed as he neared the water, surveying its height.
Harrison turned the bike around and headed toward the house. There was no way anyone was going through that in a vehicle, which meant taking up the helicopter to get her safely over to her car. And after last night’s experience, he wasn’t sure she was going to like that idea at all.
He shut off the engine and went inside, taking off his jacket and walking in. Now he just needed to figure out what the hell to say to her.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
POPPY STARED INTO Katie’s room. She hadn’t walked in, but she couldn’t move away from the door frame. It was girlie, but not over-the-top—pink walls so soft in color that they were almost white and pretty polka-dot curtains that reminded Poppy of her own room when she was a child.
It was the room she’d like to give her own daughter one day, but the thought of losing another baby still hit her with the force of a heavyweight punch. Finding out she was pregnant, twice, imagining holding her own child and then miscarrying. Her skin broke out in goose pimples as it always did when she thought about it. The rooms she’d planned, the tiny white clothes she’d bought as soon as she’d found out she was expecting...and here was a little girl with a pretty room and no mom. One day it would happen for Poppy, because it wasn’t as if she couldn’t get pregnant, but it seemed like a pipe dream right now.
She got why Harrison was so messed up about women because she couldn’t imagine how any mother could walk out and leave two little children. But she hadn’t deserved to hear all that. Not when she wanted to be a mom so badly, when she’d done nothing but be there for his children and for him. Not because she wanted anything or expected anything, but because she genuinely cared about every single child in her class that she taught each day, and because she cared about Harrison, too.
A tear escaped from the corner of her eye and she quickly brushed it away. She wasn’t going to cry over a man. She wasn’t even supposed to be with a man. So she most certainly wasn’t going to blubber over this one.
“Poppy?”
She squared her shoulders and turned away, trying to forget the perfect room she’d just been staring into. Harrison was back, which meant it was time to go, and she didn’t want to stay here a second longer than she had to.
* * *
The helicopter was hovering and Poppy was trying not to look down. They only had to go up and across the river, but after last night’s experience she was still terrified.
They landed without so much as a bump, but her hands were shaking.
“Better than last night?”
Poppy glanced at Harrison and gave him a quick smile. She didn’t want to be rude, but this was awkward and they both knew it.
She waited for his signal, not opening her door until he did his and keeping her head low just as he’d shown her the night before. Harrison ran around, grabbed her handbag and helped her down, but she kept her distance. She didn’t want to look at him, touch him, nothing. Because then she’d only regret what had happened, the way she’d opened up to him and let herself just be with him. When she’d been scared and unsure, she’d pushed past it because it had seemed like the right thing to do. Because she’d trusted him. Now? Now she wasn’t so sure.
“Poppy...”
She shook her head, more to tell herself no than him. “Harrison, don’t. Please just...don’t.” As if this wasn’t bad enough, standing here with him. The last thing she wanted was an apology or to talk about
anything. All she wanted was to go home. To just get in her car and drive as far away from Harrison as possible. Because she should have known when they’d argued last night not to let things go so far between them.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”
He crossed the space between them so fast that she never saw it coming. One second he was passing her bag to her, the next he was grabbing her by the shoulders and kissing her so fiercely that she could hardly breathe.
Harrison’s hands held her in place, his body solid like stone. She wanted to pull away but was powerless to, even though she knew it would be their last kiss. That she wasn’t ever going to let herself be put in this position again.
He pressed his lips to hers over and over again, his touch desperate, as if he were a death-row inmate stealing the last kiss of his life. With the woman he loved.
Poppy pushed her hand between them, had to stop it before it went any further, before she lost the strength to say no to him.
“Goodbye, Harrison,” she said, her palm flat to his chest to keep him at arm’s length.
Poppy turned her back and walked to her car, refusing to look over her shoulder. Her chest heaved, unshed tears, gulps of emotion tearing through her body. She fumbled in her bag for her keys, knowing that Harrison had to be staring after her still because she hadn’t heard the helicopter fire into life yet. Could almost feel his eyes on her back, watching her leave.
Harrison was a good man—a strong human being and an amazing father, too. And that’s why it hurt so much. Because the last man she’d been with had hurt her beyond belief, and in the end hadn’t cared that she was leaving. Hadn’t cared that he’d stolen all her money, that she’d lost their baby, nothing.
But Harrison? He was the exact opposite, and that’s why he wouldn’t let her close. That man loved his children so much that he would do anything to protect them, and was so guarded that he wouldn’t take down his defenses for a moment.
Poppy started her car and tried to keep her eyes downcast, but she couldn’t. Harrison was standing where she’d left him, his face unreadable, his mouth a grim line that she’d never forget. But he never took his eyes from hers, his gaze unwavering.
She turned the key, praying the engine would start, and then slowly pulled away and headed down the dirt road for home. In her rearview mirror she could see him walking away, turning his back and heading for his helicopter, but he was so blurred she wouldn’t have recognized him had she not just seen him up close.
Tears fell in a steady stream now, curling down her cheeks and into her mouth, falling on her sweater. Poppy turned up the volume of the radio and tried to drown out the voice in her head telling her to turn around.
And the one telling her what a fool she’d been to ever let herself be intimate with him in the first place when she knew better than to fall for a man. Any man. Especially one as easy to fall for as Harrison Black.
* * *
Harrison waited for his children on the other side of the river, in the exact place he’d stood watching Poppy leave earlier in the day. A swirl of dust told him his mom was close, and the last thing he needed was her asking why he looked sullen. Telling her that the weather had gotten to him wasn’t an excuse she’d buy, not for a second.
The car came into view then, and he fixed a smile and waved to the kids, knowing they’d be pressed to the window looking for him before he could see them. His mom flashed her lights and Harrison made his smile even wider, trying to convince himself that he was fine. That he’d had a pleasant morning instead of feeling as if he’d gone ten rounds in a boxing ring.
“Daddy!” The car door was flung open the moment the vehicle was stationary.
He bent down, arms out as Katie and Alex ran toward him. “Hey, guys.” He was smothered in cuddles within seconds.
This was what he needed. Because this was what he was trying so hard to protect, what he was giving up everything else for, to keep these little people safe.
“Hello, darling.”
Harrison stood, one child in each arm. “Hey, Mom.” He laughed. “I’d kiss you if I could.”
She smiled back at him, shaking her head. “I was just telling your father that there probably isn’t a dad in the world as loved as you are. Most kids like getting away from their parents for some fun, but these two just want to get back to Dad all the time.”
He swallowed hard, refusing to acknowledge that one word—parents.
“It’s good to know I’m wanted.”
His mom sighed. “Darling, you’re wanted. I don’t think you need to worry about that.”
Harrison wished he hadn’t said it like that. “Dad okay today?”
She smiled. “He’s spent most of the morning telling me he needed to come and help you.”
Harrison put the children on the ground and watched as they ran to inspect the river. “Not too close,” he called out.
When he turned back to his mom, she was staring straight at him, her mouth pursed as if she was trying to figure out whether to speak her mind or not.
“Just say it,” he said.
She sighed. “You know I don’t like interfering, Harrison, but the young lady who dropped the kids off last night seemed, well, lovely.”
“She’s just the kids’ teacher.” He did not want to discuss this with his mother.
“Sweetheart, she’s more than just their new teacher. I can tell that from the look on your face, and it was written all over hers last night, too.”
“I’m not talking about Poppy with you, Mom.”
“And you don’t have to.” She touched his face, looking into his eyes so there was no escape. “But I’ve seen you struggle all these years, Harrison. I’m so proud of the dad you’ve become, but I know you could be an amazing husband to someone, too.”
He took a deep breath to push away his anger, refusing to let his mom see him lose his cool. “I’ve already been a husband, and look how that worked out for me, huh?”
He turned to check on Katie and Alex, watching as they laughed and played together.
“I’m not saying you need to get married, but seeing you happy, seeing you spend some time with someone lovely who deserves your company, that would make me so happy.”
Harrison swallowed his groan. “Point taken, Mom.”
“You called her Poppy.”
He raised an eyebrow. “So?” That was her name. What was so unusual about that?
“I was just wondering if the fact she stayed here last night was the reason you’d stopped calling her Ms. Carter?”
“How did you...?”
His mom was laughing. The old fox. Talk about cunning.
“I’m going to get these two back to the house,” he told her, leaning forward to drop a kiss on her forehead. “Thanks for looking after them.”
“See you soon, sweetheart.”
“Say goodbye to Grandma,” he called to the kids.
They came running over to hug her goodbye while he watched. He’d all but admitted Poppy had stayed the night, which meant his mom would never give up until she knew more about their relationship.
Pity he’d made such a hash of things, because maybe his mother was right. Maybe he did spend too much time on his own.
“Is Poppy at the house?” Katie was looking up at him like an excited Labrador.
“No, sweetheart, she’s home now.”
“Did she stay in my room?”
Harrison held back a laugh. If only it was as uncomplicated as that. “Come on, let’s get you two in the helicopter, okay?”
He lifted first Alex and then Katie, secured the door, then walked around to the other side. His kids had grown up around big machinery and helicopters, but they still grinned like crazy every time he took them up in the air.
“Copilots, prepare
yourself for takeoff,” he said through his mic.
The children were already wearing their headsets, seat belts done up and big smiles beaming at him.
Harrison took them up into the sky until they were well above the river. But he didn’t want to go back to the house, to park the chopper just yet. He needed a release, a reason to remember why the land he worked was so important to him. Why he loved his life here, what he had to be grateful for.
“What do you think of a scenic flight around the ranch?”
The two happy faces peering out the window gave him his answer. They might not have a mom in their lives, but his kids were happy. They were loved and nurtured and growing up in an environment that most children could only dream of.
Maybe he was too hard on himself. Maybe he worried too much about what Katie and Alex didn’t have instead of what they did.
Being up in the air was good for him. It was his addiction, and it had been far too long since he’d just enjoyed flying with his children by his side.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
POPPY HELD THE envelope tightly and sat down. Her hands were shaking, unable to push beneath the seal to open it.
“Hey, Lucky,” she said, watching the cat as he jumped up on the table and stared at her, his tail flicking back and forth as if he was equally anxious about the contents of her envelope. “What do you think?”
She hadn’t been expecting it. That’s what the problem was. What she’d been expecting was a pleasant trip to the store, trying to decide what she needed to buy for the week. Not Mrs. Jones telling her there was some mail for her, and getting this letter.
Poppy sighed and slapped the envelope down before picking it up again and sliding her nail through the seal.
She’d done it. Now she just had to read it.
The paper was crisp, and there were a number of pages. The cover letter bore the emblem of a Sydney law firm, one she didn’t recognize, and she had no idea how he’d even managed to pay for it.
Poppy glared at the page. Of course—he’d probably tricked his poor girlfriend into doing so, and she wouldn’t realize she’d end up fleeced of everything she’d ever owned.