“Here we go…” I slowly came through the garage and eased carefully toward the kitchen. I heard my parents talking, but it ceased when I walked inside. The silence felt terrible, but at least it was better than yelling.
“We need to talk,” Dad said.
I sneaked inside and rested my body in the doorway. “Only talk?”
“Only talk,” Mom said.
It was weird watching them. I could feel tension for sure, but I was surprised they could bother sitting across from each other at their precious granite countertop island. Wanting to keep their money was the only thing I knew they could agree on. “I assumed I had said enough.”
“As painful as it was to hear all of what your father and I have done to each other, it needed to come out.” I saw Mom’s hand reach across the table and grab Dad’s and he didn’t pull away.
“Do you really mean it?” I asked Dad.
“We’re going to work this out.” He was even smiling, and I didn’t get the impression that he was faking.
I still had to be sure. “You two are really going to work on your marriage after finding out you’ve been cheating on each other? You’re getting professional help?”
“Not exactly.” She smiled nervously, and her voice was shaky. “I love your father—”
“And I love your mother—”
“But we have certain needs that…We can’t fulfill.”
I didn’t get it. They had somehow talked through their problems to the point where they were smiling and holding hands. If they sucked at sex, they wouldn’t be having it so much with other people. What couldn’t they work through? “So you are getting a divorce?”
They both looked at each other, and I knew they were debating in their head about what to tell me. I waited impatiently while they wrestled with what to say until Dad finally blurted it out. “We want to have an open marriage.”
I was stunned. “An open marriage?” I don’t know why, but I was. “You mean you wanna keep doing what you’ve been doing?”
“It’s the lies that’s ruined us and scarred you,” Mom retorted idiotically. They had some nerve telling me what scarred me! “If we do this then—”
“Then you’ll still be disgracing your wedding vows and making this family look like a joke! You can’t possibly be serious about this.”
“We are,” Dad said.
“It’s already started to help. We spent the day together and…Everything is good.” Mom held Dad’s hand, and they both smiled in a way I hadn’t seen in a very long time—if I could remember it at all. How could they be so sure that the solution of how to stay together was to see other people? “Emotionally and physically, things are better than they’ve been in a long time.”
I was so angry that I didn’t know what to say. I waited for the demon to start poking holes into my brain, but that was not necessary. I was upset enough all on my own. Didn’t I have the right to be? They were screwed up people, but they were my parents. I wanted them to be happy, but with each other and only each other. Jenny and Mom’s instructor weren’t my parents. Frankly, they were too young to be. What business did they have in my parents’ marriage? They weren’t allowed to try and sneak their way into our family, and I didn’t want them to be invited either!
And the worst thing about it was that my parents were just going to naively accept each other’s infidelities just so they could sleep around with other people and they still somehow expected that their marriage was going to survive. It was probably the dumbest thing I had ever heard in my entire life!
“If you need to talk to anybody—”
“I don’t want to talk about this with either of you.” If I would have talked, I would have started yelling and then I would have started to cry. “I just want this to go away.”
They consoled each other with a look again, and Mom decided to take her turn at being insensitive. “We meant with a therapist.”
The nerve of them! “I need a therapist, and you two spent the afternoon screwing your brains out with each other and everything is fine?” It was apparent that I was twisted and completely messed up, but they were far from perfect. The only difference between us was that I chose to end my problems, and they tried to completely ignore theirs. They didn’t think they were sick at all? Not even a little bit?
“I hate the both of you!” I couldn’t take it anymore, and I got out of my chair and kicked it to the ground. That wasn’t enough for my pent up aggression. I felt like I was losing my mind because there was nothing to hit. I ran my fingers through my hair and ended up screaming. “You could have at least had the decency to wait until I had left for college or something. I killed myself, and all you two want to do is have some shrink prescribe me a bunch of pills so you feel better about being sluts! Well, I’ve got news for you. You two sluts had a kid, and that means you have to be responsible. As long as you two feel you have the right to run my life, you have to face the reality that you have to take care of me. And whatever this is, it’s absolutely not taking care of me.”
And just as I knew it would happen, the yelling turned into hysterical tears. “You’re ruining me. You don’t realize how messed up I am and neither of you care. You only care about yourselves. That’s why you’re so perfect for each other.”
They sucked so much at being parents. They didn’t even order me to stop being a lunatic or try to comfort me. They stared like they were frightened children and it disgusted me. I rolled my eyes at their incompetence and rushed out of the house and to my car.
I started driving and dialed Julian’s number. I knew he thought I should be alone, but he was wrong. I couldn’t stand to be in the same house with my parents. I knew it was wrong to hate them, but I did. If they weren’t such miserable parents, you wouldn’t have killed yourself. If they had done their job, I wouldn’t have tried to kill myself. The sad fact of reality was that I only had one person in the whole world I could depend on.
“Hello?”
“Maria?” I couldn’t imagine Julian being happy that she answered his phone. He’d probably go ballistic. “Where’s your brother?”
“He’s in the shower.”
He may be lean, but I bet he has an incredible body! I pushed the thought out of my mind. The demon probably had a point, but I knew better than to think like that. “I kind of need to talk to him about some stuff I’m going through. Would you tell him to call me back as soon as possible?”
“Why don’t you come over?”
Then you could join him. Won’t that be fun! “You don’t think Julian would mind?”
“No. He’d be thrilled to see you. I’ll text you the address.”
“Okay. Thanks.” We hung up, and I was left with a serious problem. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I got these terrible butterflies in my stomach. I remembered that he already made it painfully clear that we didn’t belong together, but I figured that’s because he really didn’t know how I felt about him. He thought it was the demon making me want him sexually. We had more than that. He was honestly all I had.
He didn’t live in a house like I expected. He lived in a quaint house in the suburbs with pretty flowers and lawn gnomes. I guess I expected him to live in a trailer park or in a country hick house with dead deer hanging up for the world to see and be disturbed by. It was a pleasant surprise, and it made me like him more. He was going to have to do something really weird to change his image or else I’d start believing he was a normal human being.
Before my knuckles could hit the door, Maria opened it. It would have been eerie if I weren’t so intrigued. “Is Julian ready for me?”
“Not quite.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. “I wanna show you my room.”
“Okay.” I quickly glanced around while she pulled me through the house. It was clean and bright and relatively normal. There weren’t any weird paintings or sculptures that would make me do a double take. It was pretty ordinary and domestic. I wasn’t sure if I were more relieved or dis
appointed.
Then everything took a serious shift when we got up to the stairs and to a red door. “This is my room.” Before she even opened it up, I felt there was something inside. Then I felt something inside of me—the demon—pushing me to take a step forward and enter inside so I could bask in the darkness that dwelled inside. Maria spun inside excitedly and threw her hands into the air proudly. “What do you think?”
“What do I think?” I was frightened to go inside, but it was like I didn’t have control over my own body. My head started pounding, and it was harder to breathe. My skin felt like it was on fire, but it wasn’t a true physical reaction to make me sweat. I felt cold and dead inside.
I was finally beginning to understand why Julian didn’t want me to be around Maria and why she was initially ashamed to let me know what she was. It was certainly clear when I saw the skulls, candles, and pentagrams all over the walls. I didn’t know how legit it was, but the feeling I got inside freaked me out enough to believe.
Aren’t you the least bit curious? I pointed to an Ouija board I saw on her bed. “Is that real?”
“Yeah. I tried it out a few times.” She held her head up, obviously impressed with herself.
“And does the dead actually communicate with you?”
“Why?” She smiled, suspiciously excited. “Is there someone you need to connect with?”
“No. I’m good. Thank you.” I didn’t know what to think of Maria. I knew she didn’t want me to judge her and I promised that I wouldn’t, but I felt like I was suffocating in there. Every moment I stayed there, I felt less like myself, yet I couldn’t find the will to leave.
“Is this a little weird?”
“I won’t lie. It is.” You’re still curious though. I know you are. I knew the demon was speaking to me, but it still felt like it was me because its thoughts were so loud in my head. I couldn’t head for the door until I had started searching around the room. I didn’t usually have sticky fingers, but I was intrigued by every candle, every caldron, and every crystal. Then when I got to her bookshelf, I was drawn to one leather-bound book in particular.
“That’s my spell book.”
I quickly drew my fingers back, but I became so curious. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Is magic real? Can you really perform spells?” I felt like such a child for asking. I always liked watching shows about kids with magical powers and using them to save the world. It was too fantastical to be real.
“I’ve performed a lot of spells. Do you need some proof?”
I was a little freaked out, but I couldn’t bring myself to back out. “What did you have in mind?”
“How about a love spell?”
“Why would I need a love spell?” I was so nervous. Was it that obvious that I was struggling with my love life, aside from my scandal at school? “I enjoy being single.”
“Are you sure?” She smiled wickedly. “Julian can be very stubborn.”
He is stubborn. He might need a little push. “You would do a spell on your own brother?”
“If I thought I’d be helping him in the end, then yes. I’m a good witch,” she assured me with an overly cheesy wink.
I looked around the room. I had only seen pentagrams and spell books in movies. I thought if I would have been up close and personal with a witch, I would have run away. “So all of this time, this is the secret you and Julian didn’t want to tell me?” Since I knew her to be a good person, I wasn’t going to suddenly change my opinion.
“Can you blame me?” She laughed, and I think it relieved her of a lot of stress. “It’s not so common. Bible thumpers like my brother would prefer to see people like me burned to a stake like it’s the Salem Witch Hunt all over again.”
What about your parents? A love spell could save their marriage. “Would it be wrong of me to ask you to do a spell to keep my parents together?”
“No. I wish I was better versed in the dark arts when I was little. It probably could have kept my mom and dad from fighting so much.”
“Where are your parents?” I plopped down on her bed, feeling like I actually had a girlfriend I could chat with. That was great considering that I had to ditch all my friends when all my drama erupted. “I hope you don’t mind me asking.”
She shook her head and lay down next to me. “My dad left the state to make big bucks in oil. He sends us enough to take care of us, and I have no clue what he does with the rest of it.”
“And your mom?”
“She was in an accident.” She sighed heavily and looked up to the ceiling where there was another unique pentagram that was as big as her bed. Whatever it was, she seemed to draw strength from it. “She’s been in a coma for the past few years.”
Don’t you wish your mother was in a coma? “I’m so sorry.” I felt awful for her, but there was a piece of me that was a wee bit envious. But she obviously must have loved her mother. If only you two could trade places. “There isn’t a spell or something you could perform to make her better?”
“Julian literally said he would kill me if I tried any witchcraft on Mom. He thinks I’ll make it worse. I don’t see his god doing anything about it.” She rolled her eyes, and her bitterness seeped out like a poison. “If he helped me, I know we could pull off our own miracle.”
“Why would Julian help you?”
“He taught me everything I know.”
“Wait!” I yelled. My mind was officially blown. “Julian is a witch?”
“Warlock is the proper term,” Julian said from right outside the doorway, “and I’m retired.” He looked pretty pissed off. “Come on, Michelle.”
Are you really gonna let him control you like that? “No. I think your sister might be able to help me.”
“Come on.” I don’t know what it was about Julian that made him so domineering, but I did exactly what he wanted me to do and left right out of Maria’s room.
He looked back at Maria, and she was pouting on her bed, waiting for me to come back. I wanted to make her feel better, but I had to follow him. He was my sensi or whatever.
But just because he’s your teacher doesn’t mean that you can’t offer anything. “Why don’t you give her a chance? She thinks she could save your mom. She might be able to help my parents.”
“There’s no such thing as magic, Michelle.” I didn’t appreciate that he spoke to me like I was a child.
“Your sister certainly thinks there is.” I crossed my arms stubbornly. She was not that convinced for nothing.
“It’s not real magic.” Julian looked back into his sister’s room. She was still watching us, so he slammed the door hard enough to make me jump. “I used to think it was about being one with nature and it letting us channel its energy. Well, I was wrong. It’s much darker than that. Witchcraft and demonic spirits go hand-in-hand. Nothing good comes from witchcraft.”
“But your sister is so nice.” I didn’t know much about demons and witches, but I knew Maria.
“That doesn’t mean anything. It’s addictive, Michelle. You haven’t even practiced and yet you’re so curious about it. Do you think that’s you or your demon?”
Is it fair how he always thinks you’re incapable of making your own decisions? “I think any normal person would be curious—”
“Don’t be stupid, Michelle.” He grabbed my arms and stared into my eyes and began to loosen the grip the demon had on my mind. “Messing with witchcraft is dangerous, especially for someone like you. Maria isn’t possessed, but you are. It could become real with you. You could be dangerous.”
I nodded and decided to listen to what he had to say. He led me back downstairs and away from Maria. I sat down on the couch and tried to clear my mind of whatever happened to me in her room. I didn’t think it was so bad to practice magic, but I would have never approved of using spells on Julian and my parents before.
He got me a pop, and I tried to just think about what was real: the taste, the fizz tingling my nose, the bub
bles popping on my tongue, the beverage itself refreshing my body as it went down my throat. That was real. Silly love potions weren’t real. “Were you dangerous?”
He avoided eye contact and hesitated by conveniently taking a swig of his drink. “Yes.” It amazed me how brave he was when he looked at me. It was the first time I saw someone who wasn’t unbreakable.
“That’s why Maria thinks you can help heal your mom.” It was intriguing. Julian actually had real powers. What was he capable of and what had he actually accomplished?
“I don’t know if I could use witchcraft to save my mother, but even if I could, it would ultimately hurt my family in the end. I’d lose another piece of my soul, and I’d be in danger of getting addicted to witchcraft again.” I didn’t realize how difficult his life must have been. I knew that Julian going back to witchcraft was probably the scariest thing in his life. “We can’t afford to surrender our souls, Michelle.”
“You’re really feeding her that demon sucking story?” Maria yelled from the balcony. I looked up, and I didn’t see the sweet girl that tried so hard to be my friend. She was disgusted with the both of us.
“Stay out of this!” Julian commanded.
Maria was completely different. She wasn’t cowering in front of Julian. She was smug and rebellions. “Julian has it all wrong.”
He glared and pointed his finger up at her while he seethed out a warning. “Say another word and you’ll regret it.”
She was still just as scary, but she wasn’t strong enough to stand against Julian’s authority. “Fine.” She made eye contact with me, and for the first time, it was chilling. “I’ll be doing homework.”
But the chills weren’t that big of a deal compared to one I got when Julian shut out his sister. “You can be very scary when you wanna be.”
“What did you come here for?” I wanted to know what was up with him and Maria, but he was already heavily annoyed that I was at his house in the first place.
“My parents want to have an open marriage, and I blew up on them again.” I felt like I was covered in slime every time I thought about it. “Then I left, and I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
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