Almost Alive

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Almost Alive Page 21

by Christina Barr


  “I don’t know. Wherever they are, they’re together hating you.” She chuckled. “At least they have something to bring them closer.”

  “Get out of my house!” I screamed demandingly, without even the slightest bit of confidence.

  “We’re growing impatient. I was hoping that you could pull Julian toward his destiny, but you made things worse. You were so close to cooperating, and now I come to find out that you’re actually considering helping Julian in his barbaric task of killing humans.”

  I was stunned. My heart was beating so fast—it was anywhere between a panic and a heart attack. I could barely breathe; I thought I was gonna barf out my lungs. I was trembling. “How do you know all this?”

  She smirked viciously, and every fear I had begun to multiply. “Demons talk.”

  I bolted out of the room and made a run for it. I jumped down the last four steps and ran as fast as I could to the front door so I could escape.

  “Zariel!”

  I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even physically struggle at all. I screamed in my head to make my body move, but it was useless. “What are you doing to me?” I was surprised that I could even speak, but even that required an enormous amount of will.

  “That’s the name of your demon, Zariel,” Maria said from the top step. I could hear her coming, and each step filled me with such terror, but at the same time, I was losing my vision. Soon, the only senses I had control over was hearing, and nothing was louder than the sound of my heavy breaths and the sound of my heart fighting for its dear life.

  I blinked, and I could finally see again. I was in an old barn of all places, and I wasn’t alone. Maria was ten feet in front of me sitting in some kind of witchcraft circle and chanting with her eyes closed. She looked deeply involved in what she was doing. I wondered if I’d be able to escape, but when I tried to move, the only thing that happened was that my fingers twitched just a little bit. It was pure frustration! “Where am I? Maria?”

  Her eyes quickly opened. “Nowhere you need to be concerned with.”

  “Julian will come for me.”

  “Of course he will,” said the sultry and sexy voice of a mature man. His words warmed my neck, yet I felt incredibly cold. “I invited him.”

  The man appeared in front of me, dressed in a tailored navy blue suit. He was polished and attractive, somewhere in his mid-thirties. He certainly didn’t look like an acquaintance of Maria’s. “Who are you?”

  “Julian’s mentor, Scott Hayes.” He reached out his hand for a handshake, but then laughed at my inability to move.

  It was too weird seeing someone who looked human but wasn’t. If it weren’t for his eyes, I would have never been able to see it. He might have smiled and been so charming and good looking, but his eyes had the exact same hate that Julian’s had when his demons had manifested. How could anything harbor that much hate? It seemed exhausting to care about anything that much and there was no reason to warrant it. Once I had seen into his eyes, I could see how Julian could look past the humanity of his friend and see the monster that he was.

  “When Julian finds me, he’s gonna kill you.”

  I was trying to be tough, but he laughed abundantly! “He’s tried that before. He could have succeeded if he had the stones. He pretends to be strong, but he’s not. He’s pathetic!”

  I didn’t know what to believe. Julian had the heart of a warrior. If he couldn’t get past his old friend, I was screwed! “Why can’t I move?”

  “Because Zariel is more powerful than you are,” Maria said. “She won’t have to take your body if you accept her powers. Stop being so resistant.”

  “Do you have any idea what this demon will probably do once it has my body?”

  “Zariel will help us in our mission.”

  “Demons want to destroy the world—”

  “Demons are going to improve humanity!” She got off of her knees and onto her feet in one swift and quick motion. It made me question if Maria really were human at all. “They’re not what you think. They want us to be free to be ourselves. They want us to feel more alive than we ever have before. They want to give us power.”

  I kept thinking that she couldn’t be serious. But I knew that she absolutely was dead serious! She was an idiot who knew nothing. “I’m losing my soul!”

  “You wouldn’t be losing anything if you didn’t fight back!” She approached me and grabbed my face. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t have you screwing up my brother’s destiny. He’s a great man and he’s going to rule this world!”

  She pushed me back, and I suddenly regained control as I stopped myself from falling. Maybe Zariel was more powerful than me, but Maria was clearly running the show. “Julian is free. Why don’t you just leave him alone?”

  “I can’t.”

  “He’ll hate you forever!”

  She paused. She knew I was right, and it tore her up inside. Every time she looked hurt because Julian shut her down, that was real. She must have still had her soul, because a demon couldn’t love Julian the way Maria did, but she was still willing to lose him anyway. “Sometimes, family does things for each other that you can’t understand. Once he becomes who he’s supposed to be, he’ll realize why I’ve done this. He’ll be strong and then he can heal Mom.”

  She was struggling not to cry, but her emotions overflowed quickly and tears streamed down her face. She wasn’t an evil mastermind. She was just a scared little girl sick of hoping and dreaming and willing to take desperate measures to save her family. I envied her passion, but I couldn’t let her have what she wanted.

  “Your mom wouldn’t want this.”

  “She wouldn’t want to be in a coma for years and years either!” She wiped her eyes and her nose dry and balled up two tight fists. “You have no right to judge me. My life and my loved ones are worth fighting for. You threw everything you ever had away. Don’t question my methods. At least I had the balls to live!”

  I didn’t know what to do, besides killing her. I couldn’t do that though. Julian wouldn’t want his sister dead. Maybe he would understand, but he wouldn’t forgive me. Besides, I don’t think I could do it. It’s not like she was evil. She was just insanely naïve. There had to be a way to convince her.

  Suddenly, a giant thud echoed through the barn. I dared to hope that it was my salvation and turned to face him. I had seen a variation of the ferociousness in Julian’s eyes before, but it had never intensified to that degree.

  “Julian!” Scott exploded with a sadistic glee. He even reached out his arms for a hardy hug. “It’s good to see you—”

  I screamed at the sound of Julian’s gun firing off again and again. Scott was close enough for his blood to spew on me. Scott was blasted off of his feet and landed flat on his back.

  Julian might have hesitated before, but every reservation was gone! It was…Pretty hot. “Let her go!” he hollered.

  Maria was glaring at her brother, but he wasn’t paying her any mind. I didn’t understand that there was still a real threat until Scot t got back on his feet as if nothing were wrong. “That’s not very nice, Julian. And you wonder why I won’t visit.”

  Julian took aim. “The next one goes straight through your head.”

  “I’m trembling,” he mocked.

  Julian glared. I think Scott was right about Julian’s hesitation. He never completely explained how deep their connection was, but he had a promise he had to keep.

  I screamed as the gun fired again, but Scott had moved so quickly that Julian missed. Scott maneuvered quickly across the room while Julian tried to shoot him, but it wouldn’t have mattered how good of a shot he was. No one was that fast. Scott appeared in front of Julian and knocked the gun out of his hand. Julian grunted and tried to punch him, but Scott dodged it and began to laugh. “You still can’t kill me, Julian.”

  He slowly began reaching in his back pocket. “Oh, I don’t know about that.” He exploded onto Scott with a knife. The first swipe cut Scott across his ches
t, but he couldn’t manage another strike. No matter how skillful and precise his movements were, Scott was just a little bit better.

  Julian’s last attack ended when Scott grabbed his hand and began to squeeze it. Julian grunted from the pain, but he held on as long as he could until the knife fell from his broken fingers.

  “I showed you everything you know,” Scott said. “It doesn’t matter if you want to kill me. You’re still incapable.”

  Julian roared and then head-butted his former teacher and friend. It made Scott stumble back a tiny bit, and Julian took that moment as a golden opportunity to attack. They were both trained in the same fighting style. I didn’t recognize it, but it was a lot of leg work. Julian kicked Scott again and again, but he blocked every attack. He even took a few to prove that he could. While he was changing his standing leg, Scott acted quickly and returned the head-butt and knocked Julian down to the ground. I was concerned if Julian’s skull were fractured.

  “That’s enough!” Maria yelled. Scott surprisingly gave Julian a final blow to the gut and walked away as he held himself and coughed up a cup of blood.

  “Maria, you have to stop this.” I grabbed a hold of her and shook her. “Why would you help demons?”

  She narrowed her eyes in at me questionably before smiling at what she believed to be foolishness. “They’re not what you think. The bible has slandered them.”

  “You’ve been bamboozled!” Julian held his stomach and struggled to get back on his feet, but he fell to his knees.

  “And you’ve been a fool. Stop fighting, Julian!” She pushed me away so she could desperately beg her brother. “What you’re doing isn’t safe.”

  “Letting a demon eat my soul is ‘safe’?”

  “Remember how powerful you used to be?” She raised her head and smiled from the admiration. “You were untouchable!”

  “I was unstable! How many fights did I get in? Remember the drug use? Remember the people I hurt?”

  “Nobody would touch you.”

  “Everyone was afraid of me!”

  “You could have healed Mom.”

  Julian’s anger with her subsided as her greatest motivation was revealed. I don’t know if Julian could have healed their mother, but he held a certain amount of guilt about it. “It doesn’t work that way.”

  “If I can bring back the dead, I’m sure you could heal Mom.”

  “Stop it, Maria!” He wearily struggled on his two feet and began making his way to his delusional sister. “You did not bring me back from the dead.”

  “Of course I did. I sold my soul to do it!”

  There was complete silence, but I was certain that I heard Julian’s world shatter. “What?” He stumbled to his sister and grabbed her face with trembling fingers. Then his forehead gently collided with hers’ as he silently prayed for God to turn back the hands of time and undo the monstrosity that she had performed. I had never seen so much pain in a person’s eyes and his torment reflected into Maria’s in the form of tears. “Maria, no!” he begged quietly. “Tell me that you did not do that!”

  “They gave you back to me.” She touched her brother’s face adoringly. I knew that she loved him so much that she was willing to do anything for him, but certainly not in spite of him. “The only condition was that you didn’t come alone.”

  I silently gasped to myself, and that was the only sound heard for a while, but I could feel the words he wanted to scream through the atmosphere. His hands fell to his side, and he began breathing heavily through his nostrils while he stepped away slowly and shaking. Julian was in denial about her having powers, and it turned out that she was pulling his strings ever since he came back. No wonder why she was so supportive through his darkest days. She shoved him into the abyss!

  He was so furious with her; I thought Julian was going to snap. “Well, all my demons are gone now!”

  Maria slowly began to shake her head and then braced herself. “Balthazar.”

  Nothing noticeable happened for a few seconds, and I waited anxiously and terrified. Then, Julian winced in pain and began stumbling backward until he dropped to his knees. He lifted his hands and stared at them like he was whacked out. “What’s…?” He fell forward on his hands and started grunting.

  “Julian?” I ran to his side and slightly slapped his face to get his attention, but he was gone. He had broken out in a serious sweat. He was wheezing like he was hyperventilating, but he wouldn’t open his mouth to properly breathe. His pupils dilated until there was barely any blue left in them.

  “What have you done?” I yelled to Maria.

  “He’s been asleep,” she said coldly. “I’m waking him up.”

  He unclasped his lips and began screaming through his gritted teeth. He felt on his chest and his stomach like there was something inside. I didn’t see anything, but I followed his lead and felt on his body to find what he was looking for. His body was on fire.

  I felt something and pulled my hand away. Something pulsed out like it was trying to touch me. “Julian…?”

  And then he threw his head back and screamed. I didn’t mean to abandon him, but I was frightened. I crawled away on my hands and knees. What I was watching wasn’t human, and it was so much worse than before. He beat on the ground, and it shook and began to crack. The lights in the room began flickering. Julian leaned back and hollered up to the ceiling. It was like his back was no longer bound to the rules of his spine. His chest expanded, and his ribs began to break as something tried to break through.

  “Looks like the boss is finally coming in,” Scott said.

  “Your boss?” I had to find a way to stop whatever was coming. I couldn’t let them use him like that. He was finally free. I looked at Julian’s gun that was knocked on the floor. I wasn’t going to shoot Julian, but maybe I still had time to escape with him.

  I got on my feet and blasted off straight into a backhand from Scott. I never even got close to doing anything and ended up on my back. Scott loomed over me just to gloat. “Don’t leave before it gets good.”

  Good? It was torture! Julian’s bones were cracking and breaking. After the transformation, I didn’t know if Julian were going to have a soul left. If the burning of his soul were anything like what I experienced, he was going through hell. And when the transformation neared its end, his agonizing scream turned into a sadistic laugh. It was the most haunting sound I had ever heard. Then, he covered his face and began to chuckle into his hands.

  I rolled over and crawled to Julian, though every fiber of my being was telling me to run away until I was south of the border. He was still laughing and freaking me out, but there had to be some part of him that would remember me and who he was. “Julian?”

  There was complete silence as he slowly pulled his fingers away just enough for me to see one of his eyes. “Not anymore.”

  “Lord Balthazar!” Scott and Maria fell to their feet willingly out of admiration, but I dropped with my nose to the ground trembling from fright. I felt like my tongue was falling into my stomach while my stomach was trying to be vomited up through my mouth. I was completely and unfortunately aware of his power and stature, and I knew that he wasn’t my friend. He was hardly even Zariel’s colleague. He was as glorious as the sun, and I was a drop of water evaporating in the glory of his magnificent horror.

  I heard Julian stand up, but I couldn’t bring myself to look. I thought I would take pleasure in Zariel being that low, but I shared her pain, and it was awful.

  “Rise.” I knew he wasn’t talking to me, so I remained on the ground and hoped that he wasn’t going to demonstrate his wrath on me. “You, my glorious child, have done well.”

  “And is Julian safe?” Maria asked.

  “Of course he is. His soul is still intact. I shall make this body immortal. He’ll never have to die and go to hell ever again. We have freed each other.”

  “And my power?”

  He paused for a moment. “I have someone special in mind for you.”

 
I began grunting and pressed my fingers into the concrete as I fought the overwhelming fear that was upon me. I had to somehow force Maria’s head out of the clouds, but I couldn’t even get my face off of the ground.

  “Just tell me what you want me to do,” Maria said. She was practically worshiping him!

  “Summon Ra, my second. You will die and bring them with you.”

  “No!” I screamed, but I still couldn’t move. Zariel was mortified that I even opened my mouth. I was just as scared, but I couldn’t let her become like us! “Julian, you cannot convince your little sister to kill herself.”

  There was quietness, but I could feel his rage and utter disgust louder than any words could have been. He was offended and revolted, but it was so much greater than that. “You, lowly demon, dare to speak to me?”

  I screamed as he gripped onto my jaw and held me up eye level. His pupils were still dilated. His eyes pierced through my flesh and into my soul, and that’s what he despised. “Interesting.” But even though his hatred for me was palpable, he grinned bigger than I think his face was. “He loves you. Did you know that?”

  “No…” I took a deep breath and then forgot how to breathe immediately. Every word from his lips should have been counted as a lie, but I wanted to believe him. I needed to.

  “Of course you didn’t. He wasn’t even sure himself. He was afraid that those other lowly demons that were inside of him were making him feel things for you so he would rush into intimacy.” His finger trailed across my skin and everything inside me began to quiver. “When they were exercised, he knew what he had for you was real. He was afraid to tell you, because he doesn’t know if he can trust your feelings. He doesn’t know if they’re real.”

  His finger left my face, and I started to recover from how sick I felt. “They’re real. I know they are.”

  “I know. I can see it in your eyes.” For some reason, he chuckled.

  “And what would something like you know of love?” I seethed in disgust.

 

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