by Mary Manners
“Yeah, it’s God’s will that Carly’s with us this weekend, I’m sure. I just don’t know what His plan is.”
“What do you mean?”
Shane rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know Carly’s whole story. She just wandered into my office one afternoon off the street. She’s very close-mouthed, very withdrawn.” He weighed his words. “She reminds me a lot of you, Jade. I mean, the way you were...before.”
“Me? Why on earth does she remind you of me?” Jade was flabbergasted. Carly obviously struggled with a heavy burden. Her guarded eyes and steely demeanor told the story. Had Jade really been that lost?
“I was hoping maybe you could talk to her, girl to girl, so to speak.”
“You know I’m not trained to do that, Shane. I might make things worse.”
He grinned good-naturedly. “Sometimes life is all the training you need. If God means for you to speak, he’ll provide the opportunity...and the words. Just think about it, will you?”
“All right, I will.”
“Now you’re talking.”
Jade scanned the crowd circling the ice as she wiggled her toes. The painful tingling had lessened. “Look at Susie go. She’s got a gift for the blades, don’t you think?”
“It’s in her blood, I guess.”
“Not by you, that’s for sure.” She giggled. “You’re like a runaway bulldozer.”
“Thanks a lot. She gets it from her mother.”
Jade sobered. Her mother. She knew better than to pry, yet she’d been wondering… “Why didn’t your wife come with you?”
“My wife?” Shane’s eyes narrowed. He paused, drew in a breath. “Ah, Susie…you think…”
Heart suddenly pounding, Jade waited. The sounds of laughter mingled with top-forty tunes and the rich aroma of cocoa rose to tickle her nose.
Shane’s gaze locked with hers. “Susie’s my niece. She’s my sister Reid’s daughter. She chooses to call me Daddy because...well, because I’m the only dad she’s ever known, I guess.”
Jade felt suddenly paralyzed. Shane must have a wife. He must. If not, then…
She tore her gaze from his. The idea was too dangerous to even consider.
“I-I didn’t know you had a sister. I don’t remember her from school.” The walls of her throat felt like they’d been super-glued together.
“She is—was—four years older than me. She graduated the year before we started high school.”
She was? Jade’s heart stuttered. “Oh, Shane. What…what happened?”
“It’s a long story.” A wall went up, guarding his eyes. His voice came in a rush. “We’d better round up the kids. It’s getting late and Mrs. Alvarez will have dinner waiting. Her fajitas are always a hit. And there’s the chocolate volcano she promised to create. The kids have been talking about it all day.”
“Shane, wait.” Jade reached for him, but he stepped back, hiding the peculiar, wounded look on his face as he tugged the ball cap lower over his eyes. He turned his back to her. Mildly frustrated and a bit hurt, Jade followed him to the ice.
Trust Me.
The words were so close, so real, Jade swung around to see who was behind her. There was no one near except Shane, who was five paces ahead and quickly widening the gap.
Trust Me and be patient.
Again, Jade paused but heard nothing more than laughter and rowdy voices mingled with music. She shook her head and stuck mitten-clad fingers in her ears. Was this what Shane had meant when he’d told her God would guide her if she’d listen? Was it why she was here at this rink, her toes just this side of frostbitten while she followed Shane in pursuit of the two dozen teens they were chaperoning together?
If so, God had a sense of humor.
Jade felt a tiny flicker deep in her soul, a spark that shuddered to life. The feeling was so unfamiliar, only by the grace of God did she identify it.
Hope. It was hope.
****
The cabin was filled with night-creaks over the sing-song chirp of cicadas when Jade awoke with the strangest feeling. She rolled over on the cot, tried not to squeak springs and wake the girls sleeping soundly in bunk beds surrounding the room. Bathed by moonlight, she made out mounds of softly snoring bodies beneath layers of sleeping bags and quilts. The night air was chilly and the room had turned damp and cool despite the fire Shane kept stoked in the fireplace.
Jade froze. There it was again—a soft sound above the others, whimpering like a wounded animal. Maybe she should wake Shane.
She wiggled out of her sleeping bag and scanned the bunks one by one. Mrs. Alvarez snored across the room, sprawled in a top bunk. She’d claimed the bed the first night and had hauled her ample form up there. Then there were the girls Jade was beginning to know and growing to love—Kim, Lexie, Julie, Breanna, Carly…
Wait. Carly’s bunk was an expansive plain among a landscape of rolling hills. What on earth?
Jade heard muffled cries clinging to the night breeze. She scooted to her feet and followed the sound to the front porch, where she found Carly in a rocking chair, pumping as if her life depended on the rhythmic movement. Her shoulders trembled with sobs she struggled to contain.
“Carly? What’s wrong, honey?”
She stiffened at the sound of Jade’s voice. The rocking stopped abruptly and she pressed one hand against her mouth to stifle sobs while the other brushed hot tears from her cheeks.
“N-nothing. I-I just needed some air.”
“Trouble sleeping?”
Carly gave a quick nod. Disheveled hair fell across her forehead, hiding her eyes.
“Me, too. Mind if I join you for a little while?”
“Whatever.” She wrapped her arms around her midsection and hunched over, turning slightly. “I-I guess not.”
Jade slipped into the rocker beside her. Wild onions lay sleeping in the dew-kissed grass beyond. Their scent filled the cool night air. Together she and Carly swayed in tandem and gazed at the veiled moon while a song of cicadas soothed raw emotions. The stars had come alive and the sky shimmered with a million points of light gathered just for them.
Jade cleared her throat. “I saw you skating earlier today. You’re a natural on the ice.”
“I-I used to take lessons. B-before...” She faltered, her eyes pained. Jade’s heart went out to her. She knew that look. How many times had she seen it in her own eyes, staring back at her in the mirror?
“Do you hear that?” Jade’s rocker stilled.
“No. What?”
She leaned into the high-pitched whine. “I think it’s a donkey braying at the moon.” She laughed softly. “It sounds like Sam he-hawing at dinner tonight. I thought he was going to choke on his burger.”
That did the trick. The thick veneer Carly was covered in shattered. Her eyes filled with tears.
“I don’t want to go home tomorrow.” The words were barely a whisper above the hum of pine trees dancing along the horizon. “I like it here.”
“I like it here, too.” Jade kept her voice even and unassuming. Carly had just dipped a toe into the ocean of sharing and Jade didn’t want to frighten her back to shore. “It’s nice to get away from life’s normal routine sometimes.”
“I’d like to get away forever.”
The force of her words startled Jade. She feigned nonchalance and eased back into rocking as she gave Carly a careful, sidelong glance. “What do you mean?”
“I-I just want to go far, far away. I wish I could drive. I’d just get in the car and go.”
“How old are you, Carly?”
“Fifteen.” She sighed. “But I’ll be sixteen in October.”
Jade remembered how the days, the months, seemed to stretch out forever the summer before she turned sixteen. She’d felt as if eighteen, her link to freedom, was an eternity away. She’d been a prisoner trapped in the nightmare of her mother’s reckless lifestyle. Thank God for Claire, a friend she could always count on. She wondered if Carly had a friend, someone she could lean on and share wi
th.
“Things are rough, huh? School, how’s that?”
Carly shrugged. “It’s OK, I guess. Some days I don’t feel like going, but my grandma makes me. I get decent grades, especially in English. The teacher’s pretty nice. She says I’m a good writer. Maybe one day I’ll write little kids’ books, or illustrate them, at least. I like to draw, too.”
“That would be something, huh? You could travel and do book signings and make guest appearances on the Oprah Winfrey show.”
“Maybe.” A wistful look came over her face.
Help me, Lord, Jade prayed. She didn’t know what else to do. She had no idea if God was listening, but it couldn’t hurt. Help me be a friend to Carly. Help her open up to me.
The breeze whispered as it swirled across the darkness.
Carly shifted in her chair and the rocker galloped like a runaway horse as she pumped furiously. “My parents got divorced last Christmas.”
Ah, the missing link. Divorced at Christmas. How horrible. Jade gripped the arms of the rocking chair, biting back a hundred questions. She drew a breath and waited as the grass danced in the breeze.
“My mom’s a flight attendant. She met a guy on a Knoxville to New York flight last year and they, well, h-hooked up. My dad found out and took off. I haven’t seen him in months. He lives in West Knoxville now, and he’s remarried. His new wife’s gonna have a baby soon. I want to go live with him, but he says I remind him of...th-the bad times.” Her voice shuddered.
“Oh, Carly.” Jade’s heart ached. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”
“Y-yes, he did or he wouldn’t have said it. My m-mom’s living with the guy from the plane, and he’s a real jerk. H-he doesn’t like me around, so now I stay with my grandma most of the time. That’s why I-I started coming to church. Sh-she talks about God a lot, but I don’t know…She’s super old-fashioned, and sometimes we fight about st-stuff, but it’s not so bad. At least it wasn’t until—”
She paused, her voice catching.
“What is it, Carly?” Jade touched her shoulder. “It’s OK to tell me. I promise.”
The girl pushed a veil of dark hair from her face and studied Jade through tear-filled eyes. “The doctors say…she has can-can-cancer. She had surgery and she’s been going for treatments to make sure they got it all. Sometimes she gets really sick. It scares me. She’s the only one who cares about me, and I d-don’t know what’s g-gonna h-happen t-t-to me.”
Jade wrapped her arms around the shivering girl and drew her close.
“Honey, no matter what happens, you can come to me or to Shane. We care about you, and we want to help.” She paused, searching for more. Carly surely needed more. She deserved more. “And...” The words came with an ease that surprised her. “And God is always with you. You must believe that. He will never leave you, even in the darkest times. It’s going to be OK.”
Carly’s puffy, tear-filled eyes brimmed with uncertainty. “H-how could He let this happen? He must not care about me at all.” She sat up and crossed her arms over her chest in defiance. “Besides, I-I’m not sure I believe in God anyway.”
Jade struggled to encourage the distraught child. She herself still continued to question. God should have given up on her long ago, yet He hadn’t. Why, she wasn’t sure. She sent up a silent prayer for guidance as she cleared her throat. Like a whisper on the breeze, the words from Mama’s note spoke to her. She remembered Deuteronomy 31:8 and paraphrased for Carly.
“It’s OK. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be discouraged. Even if you’re not sure about believing in Him, He believes in you. He won’t leave you, Carly.”
Mended Heart
4
“C’mon, sugar.” Jade’s attempts to coax the finicky computer to life were futile. She shrugged out of her linen jacket and switched on the office radio above her cluttered desk. A soft melody filled the room, soothing her. She reached for a Lifesaver from a jar on the desk and popped the pineapple flavor into her mouth. “Wake up, sweet baby.” She addressed the sleeping computer, stroking the screen for emphasis.
Rich laughter mingled with music. Jade glanced up to find Shane leaning against the door frame. The woodsy scent of his soap filled the room and his eyes shone like amethyst against a pale blue button-down shirt.
“Taking my advice with the computer?”
“Yes, but I don’t seem to have the same appeal you do.”
His eyes did a slow sweep from her head to her toes. He grinned like a Cheshire cat. “I beg to differ. You’re quite appealing.”
She shivered under his gaze. “Well, maybe you can work your magic once more, but I’m definitely petitioning Pastor Charles concerning an updated computer system.”
“I’ll back you up on it. Besides, I happen to know Charles has requested funding for hardware in our upcoming budget proposal. It should pass with no problem.”
“That would be wonderful. But for now, would you mind...?”
Shane eased around the desk and gave the computer a gentle pat along with a few well-chosen words of encouragement.
“I don’t believe it!” Jade gasped when the monitor’s screen sputtered to life. “How do you do that?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” Shane blew on his fingers and stuffed his hand into his pocket as if it were a lethal weapon. “Now, about lunch.”
“Lunch?”
“I’m taking you to lunch.” He checked his watch. “In about three hours.”
Jade began to sift through the mess on her desk. “I don’t have time for lunch. I have to deal with this avalanche of paperwork.”
“It’s not good to skip meals. No wonder you’re so...willowy.”
“Willowy?” She paused long enough to peer at her reflection in the office glass. Tousled, wavy hair crowned her slender figure. Sensible navy pumps added a bit of extra height that brought her to Shane’s shoulder. Maybe she had lost a pound or two over the past few months. Her appetite hadn’t been up to its usual standards, considering all the upheaval in her life. But she wouldn’t consider herself willowy. “I’m just—”Jade peered at her reflection off the office glass. “I’m just—”
“Perfect. Now, about lunch.”
“I have the newsletter to proofread.”
“I can help you. I’ll take it with me and look it over.”
“You don’t have to do my job for me.”
“I’m not doing your job. I’m just helping you out, like you helped me out with the youth retreat. It’s what friends do.”
“I-I...and I have to print this Sunday’s bulletin.”
“It’s only Monday. You have...” Shane paused to count on his fingers. “Six days.”
“Just like a man, waiting until the last minute to finish things.”
“Ah, I’m wounded.” He grabbed his chest and groaned as if Jade had just plunged a dagger straight into his heart. “Ouch, that stung.”
“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”
“Apology accepted.” He straightened and grabbed a peppermint from the candy jar. Plastic crinkled as he unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth. “Now, I have to run a few errands, but I’ll be back for you at noon. Give me the bulletin. I promise I’ll do a good job proofing it, so you don’t have to worry.”
Jade sifted through the papers on her desk and handed him the document. “Still pushy and obnoxious, aren’t you?”
“Obnoxious, no. And pushy...well, I prefer to call it persistent.”
“And I’ll bet you haven’t been on any roller coasters since that summer we were seventeen, right?” It pained Jade to bring up the past but she had to push through it.
Unfazed, he placed a hand on her desk and leaned into her. “Hmm, I don’t know about you, but my life is a roller coaster. The only difference now is that I’ve turned the hills and valleys over to my Lord and Savior, which only makes the ride that much sweeter. No fear.” HH
He patted his chest for emphasis and looked her straight in the eye.
Her face burned. She refused to lower her gaze. If her eyes were lasers, they surely would have burned a hole straight through him, but he just barreled on.
“Noon. I’ll be back.” He held her gaze another long moment, then turned and retreated. Footsteps slapped over freshly-waxed tile.
Jade found her voice. She leaned through the doorway and called, “Hey, Romeo, make sure you find all the typos in that bulletin. And check the dates to be sure they’re accurate. People count on that information to be right and if it’s not, I’ll hear about it.”
“Give it a rest.” Shane’s laughter echoed off the walls. “I’ll get it right.”
His office door slammed, ending the conversation. Jade reached for another candy and slid into her chair. The phone rang, drowning out any further thoughts on the bulletin...or lunch.
****
Shane leaned against the door and drew in a deep breath. Man, Jade was exasperating! How could a woman be so appealing and annoying at the same time? When her plump, full lips curled into a look of contempt and her eyebrows drew together in a dark glare, it was enough to make even a man of faith mutter a few choice words.
He tossed the bulletin proof onto his desk and fell into a worn office chair while he sifted through message memos requiring his attention. Why was Jade so intent on keeping him at a distance? Had he really been that much of a turnoff ten years ago? He recalled the way the breeze had blown her wild, sun-kissed cinnamon hair into a mass of waves as she rode the coaster’s dips and curves that spring day at Dollywood. The memory set him on edge. Especially the kiss...filled with the scent of strawberry shampoo swirled with pure adrenaline.
Words she’d hurled at him invaded his head. “You’re the proverbial bad-boy wannabe, a legend in your own mind.”
Shane winced. No doubt the words had rung true at the time. He’d been self-centered and driven by the need to be popular. But life had thrown him a serious attitude check or two. If only Jade could see.