by Nora Flite
She still hadn't blinked. “Then how?”
“Zoe...” My tongue had gone numb. I made it move. “I'm an escort.”
Staring me down, she looked at my phone, then my eyes. Her reaction was too muted. I was waiting for fire, for hatred. Her neutral expression was unsettling.
She said quietly, “An escort. You mean more than the 'go out on paid dates' kind of thing, don't you.” It wasn't a question.
“Yeah. I do much more than that with my clients.”
That time, she stared at my cellphone like it was a rattlesnake. When I tried to give it to her, she shook her head. “I don't want to see. Really, I don't.”
Letting my arm fall, I set the device on the floor. “What are you thinking right now? Are you surprised, angry?”
“Surprised. For sure, I'm surprised.” Running her fingers through her hair, Zoe tried to smile—it failed. “You're not joking around. Huck, how long have you... and since you and I...?”
I didn't expect the distress to rocket up inside me so fast. “No! I mean—no.” Why had that worked me up? I didn't need to explain or justify my life to her. To anyone. “The last girl I saw was before your birthday party. They're blowing my phone up because I haven't talked to any of them in several days.”
A bit of light hit her eyes, dissipating with her new frown. “Why didn't you tell me sooner?”
“I wanted to. I really did, but Eliza... she thought it would be too hard for you to handle. That I would be too hard to handle.” Curling my fingers, I made a fist, digging it into my thigh. “Fuck, that's no excuse. After I pushed you so hard to tell me what you were hiding, I kept this in my pocket. I'm so sorry, Zoe. Really.”
She looked down at my hands. On reflex, I eased the tension. “What now, Huck?” Peering up into my face, she returned to the woman I knew. The girl with her emotions so wild and rampant. I preferred this to her sad silence. “Will you keep seeing them?”
And there it was. The question I'd been avoiding. I knew how she felt about selling herself, did she care if I did it, though? “Are you freaked out, disgusted? I know how much you hate Nehro, I know you're scared of his contract.”
I was anxious to know what Zoe thought about me, now that it was in the open.
No matter how much it could hurt, I had to know.
I couldn't see into her head, and yet, I swear there were gears moving. Zoe had knotted her brow, thinking heavily about—something. I hoped it was about me. Let it be about me.
Sitting up, like her spine had returned, she gave me a fragile smile. “I'm shocked, but I don't think you're disgusting. I hate Nehro because he wants to make me sleep with men for money. I... I'm assuming you like what you do, right?”
Was it a trick question? Would she do that to me? Putting my hand on her shoulder, I lavished in immense relief when she didn't wrench away. “The brutal truth? Yes, I love what I do.” Risking my ego, I grinned and said, “And I'm good at it.”
It worked, Zoe actually laughed. She set her palm on my wrist, squeezing lightly. “I might not have handled this so well if I hadn't had my eyes opened recently.”
What does that mean? I wondered.
Zoe pressed on and said, “I want to make something clear. I don't care if you're an escort... but I don't honestly know if I can sleep with you while you're doing that with others.” Flinching, she looked away. “It's selfish, I know. I just—the thing with Reese, it was only a month ago. I'm terrified of being cheated on. I want to trust you, but I don't know that I trust myself to handle this yet.”
Gravel and vinegar sank into my stomach. The dismay she created was paralyzing me into silence. Zoe was asking so much of me—no. No, she's not.
She kept giving me outs. With the fighting, with this, she always offered me the option of walking away. It was my choice if I went forward. She gave me the power.
I just didn't know what to do with it.
Pulling her to me, I kissed her forehead and chuckled. “You don't understand. Technically, right now, you are my client.” Cupping her chin, I peered into her sapphire irises, never wavering in my intensity. I needed her to believe me. “Zoe, you're paying me to use my body. I'm fighting in that ring in exchange for your money. Ten years...” I flashed my teeth, watched her nostrils flare. “You'll be the longest booking I've ever had.”
And that was how I did it.
That was how I switched my brain and my desires around, creating a way to validate how I was choosing to spend my time. Money be damned, I'd figure something out.
As long as I served Zoe...
I would see no one else.
And as long as I saw no one else?
Zoe would never put her walls up between us again.
- Chapter Twelve -
Huxton
Staring at my phone, I watched it go to voicemail. It had been a few days since I'd come clean to Zoe. We'd spent a lot of time together since then, talked on the days we didn't, but today... today she hadn't picked up once.
Eyeing the missed calls, I wondered if I was getting too obsessive.
Shoving my phone back in my bag, I finished changing for the gym. Her silence combined with no news about the next fight was making me antsy.
I had to thank the sudden free time, though. I was getting a lot of training in. And man, had I missed that.
The small gym was perfect, the right amount of quiet and intensity. When other guys showed up, they went about their business and didn't goof off. I'd even sparred with a few of them briefly.
Now, with sweat staining my shirt, I pounded on the bag and took out my frustrations. I wanted to see Zoe—needed to see Zoe. I wondered if this feeling would ever fade. It was as if the addictive side of my brain that sought out every pussy on the planet was honing in on just one; hers.
Noise floated to my left. Glancing over, I saw a group of three guys entering the room. They were dressed and ready, quintessential MMA looking dudes.
And I knew one of them.
Reese stared at me where I was hitting the bag. Zoe had said he trained here, but it was the first time I'd seen him on the floor.
We both stopped what we were doing, sizing the other up. I knew I was grinning, I couldn't help it. The dark bruise on his nose from where I'd busted it a few nights ago was a delicious visual. The discoloration had spread under his eyes, aiding in giving him a miserable glare. A glare that was fixed ever so strictly on me.
Lifting an arm, I waggled my fingers and smiled wider.
Reese mumbled something to one of his companions. Stretching his broad shoulders, he came my way. I faced him, patiently waiting. “Hey man,” he said, chomping the words like an alligator. “Crazy seeing you here. Small world.”
“Yeah, small world.” I nodded at his bruise. “Healing up nice, I see.”
His smile tightened. “Yup. Almost good as new.” His attention rolled over me, then side to side, searching. “Zoe's not here with you today?”
Zoe. I hated when he said her name. Leaning back, I folded my arms calmly. “Nope. Just me, practicing my swing.”
“Smart move. You'd benefit from some strict training.” There was a subtle threat in his words.
Chuckling, I said, “True. Next time, I'll be able to bust your face even harder.”
One of the guys with him started to step forward, riled up by my comment. Reese put out his arm, stopping the man. Hard, deep-brown eyes glared at me. “You've got a cocky attitude, huh?”
“Guilty as charged.”
“I hate assholes with big mouths,” he said. “I'd love to shatter that stupid grin of yours.”
“How about I give you that opportunity?” Jerking my head at the boxing ring, I unfolded my arms.
Reese was considering my offer, I could tell by how he peered at my stance, gauging how serious I was. Finally, he shrugged into his ears. “Nah, not here. When I tear you apart, I want her to be there, watching me do it.”
“Why the fuck do you even want to be around Zoe?” I asked, baffled by his
misplaced cruelty. “You cheated on her, man. She should want to see you getting fucked up.”
“She told you that? What else did she tell you?” Reese pushed his hands through his hair, telegraphing his attempt to act casual. Was he trying to get me to spill something? Like I was that stupid.
“I know enough.”
Amazingly, he smirked. “I don't think you do. You broke my nose because of what Nehro told you, right? Because you got all offended and decided you were too good to take money for risking your neck for that girl?”
I struggled to keep my hands down, I was eager to close them around Reese's throat.
He flicked his eyes to my hands, then to my face. “Yeah. I can see the hate you have for me. But you're misplacing it. Sure, I cheated on Zoe—I won't deny that. But I also helped her, more than anyone else would have.”
He caught me by surprise, my mouth plummeting out of its sharp scowl. “How the hell did you help her? You abandoned her.”
“She didn't tell you.” It was a crisp statement. “You think you're so noble and shit, fighting for this girl, and you don't even know a thing about her. You might be some god damn angel, man... but trust me. Zoe isn't.”
Reese turned away, his companions following him like they were a string of shit from a goldfish's ass. I was too busy resisting just grabbing him by the shoulders and demanding he tell me what he was talking about to appreciate the hilarious visual.
Zoe was no angel? So what? I wasn't, either. Who the hell was in this day and age?
But his words got under my skin. They dug at me, sinking in tiny claws until I paid attention to them. Reese knew something I didn't. I could insist he tell me, bust his nose again, or...
I can go to the source.
Heading into the locker room, I changed into my street clothes, snatching out my phone. Zoe hadn't called me back. No longer debating on my next move, I dialed her number.
That endless ringing was pure torture.
Not leaving her a message, I stomped through the gym. Reese was machine-gun punching a bag while one of the men held it steady. As I passed, even at a distance, we locked eyes.
If I broke all his teeth, would his foul smile bother me less?
I need to talk to her.
Maybe I was driven by curiosity, or perhaps it was just the side of me that had started to treat Zoe like she was my water and air. I needed to be around her. Fuck anyone for judging me. I was so used to being able to indulge in my desires.
This ache was greater than any of them.
Climbing on my bike outside, I lifted my phone again. The next person I called actually answered.
“Hello?” Eliza said, her voice muffled by the cacophony of street noise around me.
“Hey, quick question.” I willed myself to sound steady. “Have you talked to Zoe today?”
She yawned, and I wondered if she was relaxing outside. It was sunny, but the bite of December was finally growing teeth. “Sure, earlier today. She was heading out, said I wouldn't see her for dinner because she'd be working at five. Why, what's wrong?”
Glancing at my phone, I saw the time. It's already after four. “Can you give me the address?” I couldn't remember the name of the bar that Zoe, apparently, waitressed at when she wasn't sneaking around to go to the Dog House.
“You sound stressed. I'll meet you at her bar, we can catch up, okay?”
Chewing the inside of my cheek, I hesitated. “Deal, but you'll have to buy me a drink.”
Getting the address from Eliza, I took one last look at the gym. Inside, Reese was preparing his body for the next match. The man was fit, and I didn't doubt he was strong.
But if he ever got in the ring with me...
I would be the one tearing him the fuck apart.
Eliza was waiting for me. Not just waiting, she had a beer in one hand, sliding it over without question. Clinking hers on mine, she took a long pull of it, then said, “So. Congratulations on fucking Zoe Lillith.”
Flushing, I leaned close to her and made myself smile. There was no humor in it. “Thank you, I'll take my award, now, please.”
Rolling her eyes, she wagged a finger. “Haha, very funny. Listen, you know why I'm mad. It's going to kill that girl when she finds out what you do for a living.”
“I already told her.”
Sitting up, Eliza gawked at me dubiously. “You're joking. No, god, you're not. Holy hell. Huck, you really told her? What did she say?”
“She didn't slap me, amazingly.” Sipping the beer, I remembered the sadness in Zoe that had finally shifted to acceptance. “She wasn't happy, either. But I laid it out for her. I don't know, maybe she's more open than you thought, definitely less uptight. Why else would she not flip out and run away screaming?”
Eliza put her chin on her fist. “I might have something to do with that.”
I blinked. “What?”
“A couple days ago, I told Zoe that I used to be an escort.”
“What the hell prompted you to tell her?”
Going pink in the cheeks, Eliza fidgeted. “Disclosure time. I've been camming for awhile.”
I scooted my chair closer. “That explains why you weren't calling me to guard you anymore. Shit, Zoe walked in on that?”
She laughed half-heartedly. “It wasn't my finest moment.” Drinking deeply, Eliza eyed the ceiling in thought. “I might have gone a little ballistic on her, but I was freaking out. I thought she'd hate me for doing it, and then things got off track and I mentioned I used to fool around for money. Turns out, our sweet Zoe is sweet enough not to judge me—or us, apparently—for our pasts.”
Soaking up her words, I turned my bottle in a small circle. “I wonder why that is?” What makes her so understanding? I was curious, but it was something only Zoe herself could answer.
Glancing around the bar, I scanned everyone I could see. “You said she was working, right? So where is she?”
“I don't know. Maybe she hit traffic?”
Shaking my head, I waved at a waitress. “No. She uses the subway, how could traffic slow her down? Excuse me,” I said, the young woman approaching with a pearly smile. “We're looking for our friend, Zoe. Is she working right now?”
Tapping her cheek, the dark-haired waitress hummed. “Zoe? Yeah, she is, but not until eight. Can I help you for now, get you anything?”
Eliza and I shared a look. She spoke first. “No, thank you. We're good.”
“Actually,” I said, gulping down the rest of my drink. “I'll take another beer. This might be a long wait.”
Nodding, the waitress skipped away. I pointed at Eliza, eyes narrowing. “You're sure she said five?”
“Positive.”
“Fuck,” I growled, rubbing my forehead. “Why would she lie?”
'You don't even know a thing about her.'
Reese's comment had my insides squirming.
Eliza flipped her hair over her shoulder, playing with the long strands. “This is so weird. I hope she's okay, let me try to call her.” Sliding out her phone, she dialed in a blur. Both of us waited, holding our breaths.
“No answer?” I asked, knowing what she'd say.
Nodding, Eliza tucked the phone in her purse. “It rang a bit, so her phone isn't turned off. She just isn’t answering.”
No matter how many times we each called her, Zoe never picked up. I'd gone through four beers, my buzz strengthening, by the time eight o'clock rolled around.
On the dot, her hair tied up in a knot and dressed in black pants and a purple work-shirt, Zoe swayed through the doors. She spotted us instantly, eyes becoming wide plates in her skull.
Lifting a hand, I waved, having trouble smiling.
“I'll... give you two some space,” Eliza said, shoving her chair out.
Zoe watched her go, moving to stand across from me warily. She kept the table between us. “Uh, hey.”
“Hey yourself,” I said, leaning back in my seat. “Want to tell me where you were all day?”
Fidget
ing with her sleeves, she darted her eyes from my face, to the beer bottles. “How long were you guys waiting for me?”
“Long enough. Answer the question.”
In front of me, this confusing woman slumped. She was already defeated, and none of the angry words I'd prepared for her had even come out. My frustration turned to dust. God, I hated seeing her like this.
My hands went for hers, catching them—making her jump. “Zoe, please. I won't get upset. I promise. I just want to know where you were.” I was worried. I didn't say it, but I imagine she saw the proof in my stare.
“Huck, I'm seriously sorry. I just...”
Rubbing my thumbs over the tops of her hands, I lowered my tone. “You want to trust me, right?” She nodded slowly. “Then listen, babe. If this trust thing is going to work, it goes both ways. I need to know what you were doing, why you were avoiding me.”
“I wasn't avoiding you.” Clear and crisp, her blue irises watched me. “I was busy with something.”
“Busy with what?”
Breathing in until her chest filled, Zoe frowned. She studied our hands, then clasped mine tight. “I can't tell you, not here. But I'll... show you. Tomorrow, I'll take you where I was. You just have to do one thing for me.”
Tugging her around the table, I stopped when she was touching my knees. I wanted to feel her, I was ravenous for contact. “Tell me, and I'll do it.”
With a fragile little smile, Zoe said, “You remember that brand of truffles?”
Blinking, I wrinkled my forehead. “Yeah, sure. Hazelnut.”
“Tomorrow, before you come by my place... pick up a bag of those.”
- Chapter Thirteen -
Zoe
Staring out the window, I twisted my fingers in the bottom of my jacket. I'd been dressed and ready to go for over an hour. Huck wasn't late, I was just beyond nervous.
What am I thinking? I can't do this.
Pacing the tiles, I studied my feet, hid my hands in my pockets. If I folded into a tiny ball, tried hard enough, could I vanish into thin air?
Stop being a coward.
Telling yourself things like that should work. It never does.