I quickly realize that I'm going to have to do something unless I’d prefer to stand here awkwardly in the middle of the staff quarters staring at my phone. But what?
Sucking up the courage, I allow my finger to move over the keyboard
Ocean – I miss you too.
Delete.
Ocean – Talk? How am I ever supposed to talk to you again? You lied to me.
Delete.
Fuck. I need to be real with him.
Ocean – I want to forgive you, Sebastian. I want to forgive you so freaking bad, but I can’t. It hurts too much. I don’t trust you anymore…
Taking a breath, I read over the message four times before I remember that my balls are supposedly made of steel and hit send. The text sends and I find myself staring again, looking down at the phone and anxiously waiting for his reply, knowing damn well that my words would have cut deep.
After ten minutes of waiting, I realize that no reply is coming and for some reason, it kills me just a little bit more. I hate knowing when my boys are hurting. Shit, I really need to stop calling them that. They're not my boys anymore. They belong whole-heartedly to the Widows. The four boys I thought I knew don’t exist anymore.
I take myself out to the pool house and quickly change into a comfortable pair of sweats and a white tank, but as I’m rummaging through my clothes drawer, my hand curls around the red Widows bandana that I’d stolen from Nic.
Everything crushes inside of me.
Fuck, I miss them.
I can’t keep breaking down every time I find something that reminds me of them, otherwise, I’ll never survive this. I need to be stronger.
For some reason, the bandana gets tied over my hair and I make a quick knot in the back. Who knows? Maybe this is my way of being close to them without actually seeing them.
Trying to keep my mind off all my problems, I dive deep into my homework, and as much as I’d prefer to be doing anything but this, I don’t emerge from the pool house until every last bit of it is complete.
I head back into the Carrington mansion with a plan to work all night, as long as it takes until my brain stops circling around the boys. And to think this all started because my father sold me to a billionaire.
What was his fucking problem? Who sells their child like that? No wonder he ended up dead. I can only imagine the other shady things he would have done over the years.
The reminder of my father’s wrongdoings has me moving through the mansion with a mission. I can’t be owned by someone. Hell, I doubt I’ll ever get married just for the sake of not having myself tied to someone else so permanently. What’s the point of marriage anyway? It’s just some piece of paper stating that you’re officially together with a no return policy.
Fuck that. I like my freedom. Don’t get me wrong, I have no aversion to commitment. Hell, I plan on being as committed as I can to Colton as long as he does the same for me, but this bitch won’t be signing on a dotted line. At the same time, the idea of being his wife … that hits differently.
I find myself standing in the doorway of Colton’s office. It's after seven at night and he sits at his desk with a single lamp, the only light in the room. It’s almost as though he’s been so busy working away that he didn’t even notice when the sun went down and certainly had no time to get up and flip the light switch.
Leaning against the door frame, I silently watch him do what he does best. “Are you going to come in or are you just going to stand there and stare at me all night?”
“I don’t mind staring,” I tell him, my lips lifting into an amused smirk.
Colton finally glances up and I watch as he leans back in his desk chair and puts his hands behind his back. His muscles bulge in his shirt and everything south of the border clenches. How it is possible for one man to have so much sex appeal? It shouldn’t be legal.
“What do you need, Jade?”
I raise a brow as I continue studying him. God, there’s so much I need from him right now and from the cocky smirk spreading across his face, he’s well aware of it. “Do you have a few minutes? There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, but I can wait until you’re finished if you’re busy.”
His brows drop in suspicion. “It’s fine,” he says with a small nod, indicating for me to come in.
I stride through his office and instead of dropping myself down into one of the expensive chairs opposite his desk, I walk right around to his side and slide my ass back onto his desk.
His hand instantly curls around my leg as he looks up at me. “How was school?” I scrunch my face, really thinking about how I should answer that when he lets out a heavy sigh. “Fuck, what did they do?”
I bite down on my lips, still a little lost for words. “I mean, they might have said a few things suggesting that I was with you just to get ahead in life and they may or may not have told everyone that I was pregnant. Oh, and there was also something about me having an affair with Dean Simmons after I screwed the pervy PE teacher and had him fired for it.”
Colton’s head falls back against his seat and he closes his eyes, letting out a frustrated groan. “I’m sorry, babe. I told them to back off but the twins are … a little difficult. They do things their way and when you try to intervene, it only gets worse.”
I slide my hand down my leg until my fingers find his. “It’s okay, I don’t need you to fight my battles. I handled it and now they’re fully aware that it’ll take a little more than a few immature rumors to take me down.”
Colton’s eyes narrow and he watches me for a silent second. “Do I even want to know what you did?”
I shrug my shoulders and fight the smile that attempts to spread across my face. I scrunch up my face and shake my head. “Yeah, maybe it’s best I keep that one to myself.”
Colton laughs and adjusts himself in his seat to see me better. “Why do I get the feeling that my sisters aren’t exactly the reasons you wanted to talk to me?”
“Because they’re not,” I tell him. “I wanted to ask you about my dad.”
His brows shoot up. “Your dad?”
“Yeah, more specifically about what he stole from your father.”
Understanding flashes in his warm eyes and within seconds, he yanks me down off his desk until I fall down onto his lap. “I was wondering when this was going to be brought up.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I know it’s a bit of an awkward topic.”
“No, Jade. Awkward is when you accidentally walk in on your parents fucking. This is just entertaining.”
“Entertaining?” I shriek. “I’m so glad my pain amuses you.”
“It doesn’t,” he soothes, “but watching you fight with yourself over which are the right words to use does. It happened. Your father stole from mine, and while that might be embarrassing or shameful for you, theft isn’t exactly something new for me. It happens all the time. They’re both gone now. It’s in the past.”
I shake my head. “But it's not. My father sold me to your dad. I’m Carrington property. I can’t …” I let out a heavy sigh, unable to find the right words.
“I get it,” he tells me, “and I already told you, I'll do whatever you need to make it go away. I don’t look at you as a possession. As far as I’m concerned, the deal ended when my father was killed. You’re a free woman, Ocean.”
“You see, that’s just the thing. I don't see it like that. There’s still a debt, still a deal that didn’t get seen through.”
“But it did, you were sold and you came here.”
“I … I don’t know. I can’t describe it. It’s like this feeling in my gut that this isn’t over. I don’t even know what my father stole or how much he owed your dad. How could me being here for a month make up for it?”
Colton’s lips press together and the way that his eyes briefly flick away from mine has me narrowing my gaze at him. “You know, don’t you? You know what my father stole?”
Colton sighs and meets my gaze once again. “Yeah,” he says softly. �
��I looked into it after you first told me about it.”
I suck in a breath, feeling my heart begin to race the same way it does every time my father is brought up in conversation. “Like a band-aid,” I tell him. “Just tell me how freaking bad it is. How much is the debt?”
“3.7 million dollars.”
“WHAT?” I throw myself off Colton’s lap and stare at him in horror, my eyes wide and my heart beating so damn fast that it threatens to beat right out of my chest. “3.7 million dollars? How is that even possible?”
“It was a small velvet bag that was hidden inside my father’s car. It was filled with uncut diamonds that my father hadn’t exactly bought the legal way. He’d parked at a restaurant to meet with some business associates and caught the whole thing on security footage. Your father smashed the window, rummaged through the car, and took off with a whole lot of shit, but the diamonds were the most valuable.”
“3.7 million?” I confirm.
Colton nods and I fall back against his desk, hardly able to hold myself up. “How am I supposed to pay that back?”
“Jade,” he whispers.
“No,” I cut him off before he can give me the bullshit about wiping the debt. That’s a lot of money. Too much to just wipe away and forget. I know his businesses make more than that in the blink of an eye, but that’s not the point. It was stolen from his father, from him by my own flesh and blood and it’s now my responsibility to make it right. “I have to pay it back,” I tell him. “I don’t know how, but I will.”
“Jade, I can’t accept that. Your father sold you to mine and they both agreed that the debt was settled and now I’m letting you go. My family no longer owns you. I’ll do whatever you want, Jade. I’ll sign a fucking release if that will make it better. I’m not going to accept money from you.”
“Why did your father agree to this? What could he possibly have gotten out of having me here with him?”
Colton shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he tells me, just as lost as I am. “It doesn’t make sense to me. Had the diamonds been bought legally, I don’t doubt my father would have had yours arrested and sent to prison. I guess he just wanted to take something from your dad like he’d done to mine.”
“So, that’s it then. That’s the value of my life. 3.7 million dollars.”
“Well,” Colton says, reaching for me and dragging me back into his lap. “If you ask me, my father got a bargain. I’d say you're worth at least 4 million.”
A smile cracks across my face and I shove my hand against his chest, playfully pushing him away. “You’re an ass, you know that right?”
“An irresistible one though.” I roll my eyes and let out a heavy breath and he instantly catches my hands in his. “We’re agreed, right? There is no debt and you’re a free woman? I don’t own you, nor do I want to. I want you here as my girlfriend because you have a tight ass and a nice set of tits, not because some dickhead wanted to settle a debt. Got it?”
I look over his shoulder and press my lips into a hard line. “I’ll think about it.”
Colton raises his chin and his lips brush against my jaw before moving up to my ear and sending shivers through my body. “Is there anything I can do to convince you?”
I squirm on his lap and enjoy the low groan that pulls from deep within him. “I don’t know,” I whisper. “What did you have in mind?”
I feel his smile against my skin and just as his hand slips inside of my sweatpants, I hear the door swing open so hard that it bangs against the drywall. “Yuck,” one of his sister’s grunt of disapproval comes flying through the room. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Colton? Stop letting the whore play tricks with your mind. She’s trash and you’re allowing her to seduce you. You’re better than this.”
I look back over my shoulder as Colton lets out a heavy sigh and pulls his hand out from between my legs. “Get the fuck out of here, Casey. Go and fuck with someone else’s day. Ocean is a shitload more welcome here than you are.”
“This is my house too,” she screeches.
Colton raises a brow and fixes her with a hard stare. “How much do you want to bet?”
Casey’s face drops and I take a quick moment to try and notice the small differences on her face that set her apart from her sister and all I can come up with is a small freckle by her jaw. I just hope Cora doesn’t have the same otherwise I’ll never be able to tell them apart. “You’re such an asshole,” she spits at her brother. “And to think I was coming in here to mend bridges.”
Colton laughs and Casey turns on her heel, stalking away quicker than she came. “Mending bridges?” Colton asks. “What the fuck is that about?”
I can’t tear the smile off my face. “Trust me, you don't want to know,” I tell him, pleasantly surprised that Casey was willing to make an effort with her brother.
He shakes his head and leans back in his seat, but I’m not nearly done with him. Hell, I haven’t even started. “Now, where were we?” I question, leaning into him and brushing my lips over his.
“I think you were about to show me that you're worth a hell of a lot more than 4 million dollars.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“Only if you want it to be.”
“Well, damn,” I laugh, grinding against him and feeling his hardness through his pants. “Maybe we should take this upstairs instead. I’m going to need room to move.”
Colton’s brow raises and just like that, I’m thrown over his shoulder. He races out of his office and with a hard slap on my ass, he takes me up to his room and neither of us emerges until the sun is beaming through his bedroom window, our worlds have thoroughly been rocked, and we’re both utterly exhausted.
Chapter 7
I sit on the kitchen counter with my legs crossed under me, staring out at the ridiculously awesome pool that Charles was so proud of. It's a Saturday morning and for the first time in my life, I don't know what to do with myself.
My Saturdays used to consist of waking up hungover on one of the boys’ couches before spending the next hour regretting my decisions as I became way too familiar with the toilet bowl, and honestly, the boys’ toilet bowls are not something any woman should ever get that close to.
Colton woke up early, probably to work out and get a few hours logged in the office. Milo was out with someone last night who wasn’t me and is spending the morning in bed. Mom is busy putting together the employee schedule for this coming week, and the girls, I have no idea. Hendrix said something about some guy’s yacht and Jess practically drooled at the chance so I'm assuming that’s what they’re doing.
Maybe it’s time to broaden my horizons, maybe make a few friends so shit like this doesn’t happen.
Eh, fuck it. More friends equal more drama. I’m all good. I should probably go and grab a vacuum and spend the next few hours vacuuming every single room that surrounds Laurelle’s just to drive that bitch insane. Hell, maybe I’ll just turn it on and walk away.
I dip my spoon down into the tub of ice cream and slip it into my mouth, dying of satisfaction as my taste buds burst in excitement. There's nothing better than oreo ice cream. It’s simply the best thing that was ever created and I will fight to the death against anyone who even attempts to challenge that. It's a fact. Just like the earth is round, the sun rises in the east, Massimo Torricelli is going to be my baby daddy, and oreo ice cream is the best.
Hearing footsteps out in the hall, I dump the tub down beside me on the counter and jump off, landing wobbly on my feet after sitting cross-legged for way too long.
I hurry out into the hall and look out, expecting to see Colton striding toward me, only the noise is coming from behind.
My heart rate kicks up as I spin around and come face to face with Spencer.
There are only two rooms down that end of the hall—Colton’s home gym and Charles’ wine cellar, and judging by the grim look on his face, there’s only one place that he’s coming from.
He knows.
He
knows what I did to Jude. He saw the cuts, the stab wound, the dried blood that sits beneath his nails. He knows what I did and from the dark flare in his eyes, he knows that I’m more than aware of where he’s just been, yet neither of us says a damn word.
It’s like a secret that sits heavily between us but neither of us is willing to admit it out loud despite knowing exactly where each other sits in this fucked-up situation, and I have a feeling that’s how it’s going to stay. Once something gets said out loud, it makes it real even though we’ve both seen things and done things that should never have had to be done.
Spencer silently steps around me and enters the massive kitchen and I find myself following, feeling a strange camaraderie floating between us. It’s a feeling that I’ve never really gotten with Spencer before. It’s as though all of a sudden, we’re in this exclusive, dark club together, one that’s hosted by Colton. I mean, should we all get matching tattoos now? Get branded and make a vow to take this secret to the grave?
Spencer scoops my tub of ice cream off the counter and leans back against it while helping himself to what’s mine. “So, Laurelle and the twins haven’t run you out of here yet?”
Oh, okay. So we’re literally going to pretend that the Jude situation doesn’t exist. I can get on board with that. I jump back up onto the counter and get comfortable before snatching the tub out of his unsuspecting hands. “They’re not smart enough to know how to run me out of here,” I inform him, looking at him pointedly with a smug grin. “None of you were.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” he says with a scoff. “I have to admit, I didn’t like you much at first but your annoying little screechy whine has grown on me.”
“My screechy whine?” I gasp. “You and I both know that you’re the only one with a screechy whine around here.”
“Moooooooom,” comes a drawn-out squeal from upstairs by one of the twins.
“I stand corrected,” I grumble.
“They’ll come around,” Spencer promises me, but the lie is all too obvious in his tone. We both know that Cora and Casey are not the type to ‘come around.’ They’re the fight till the death type just like me, only unfortunately for them, they’re now playing in a whole new league, one they’re not strong enough to win, not even with their combined twin power.
Barbie B*tch: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 3) Page 6