Leap of Faith (Iris Boys Book 3)

by Lucy Smoke

  “Would it hold up in a court of law?” I asked, turning to Bellamy who shrugged and nodded back to Marv who was already shaking his head.

  “There’s no telling if they’d get any repercussions except for having to pay for an attorney. They can probably bribe their way out of anything but ironclad evidence. Even if Grayson pays Josh’s debt, it’s still our word against theirs. Plus, Josh might end up on the stand right along with them.”

  “At this point, that’s fine by me,” Grayson said. “Let him rot in jail. He did this to himself.”

  “Grayson…” I bit my lip and shuffled across the floor towards him. He turned away. “Wait!” I held my hands up and all eyes turned to me again. “What if we send someone in—like Bellamy and Knix, but someone new. Someone that might be able to gain some insight into the illegal parts of their business? Wouldn’t they have drug dealers at the bottom of their totem pole?”

  “We are not sending you,” they all said at once. Bellamy and Marv and Texas all grimaced or frowned while Grayson continued to scowl.

  “Well, we have to do something,” I snapped, folding my arms over my chest.

  “We will do something.” The new voice made my back straighten, shivers dance up my spine, and my palms sweat all in the same instance. Knix stood in the apex of the hallway, looking over the living room, his jaw turning until his eyes caught mine and he paused, taking me in. I swallowed as he shifted his gaze to the side, continuing. I still felt the weight of the look he had given me on my shoulders. "For now, though, we need to be patient."

  "What did Alex say?" Marv asked.

  Knix sighed and shook his head, rubbing a large hand through his hair. Though I was frustrated by the non-answer, I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the droop of his shoulders. Even exhausted, he filled the hallway to almost capacity, but he was definitely not at full speed. I unfolded my arms and moved across the room towards him, reaching out to gently touch his arm.

  "Okay," I said, shocking not just myself, but the others as well.

  "Harlow?" Bellamy's voice was close at my back. I didn't turn around but met Knix's curious gaze.

  "We need to regroup," I said, firmly. Knix frowned as I finally pivoted my head back to the rest of the room. I took in the rest of them. Grayson's silent stare. Marv's own dropped brows. Texas' frown. Bellamy's slow movements as he shuffled back. "We're all exhausted, especially you guys. How much sleep have y'all been getting?" I asked.

  They looked at each other, but it was Texas that answered. "We take shifts."

  I nodded. "And I can bet that you don't always get to sleep when it's your turn for one reason or another."

  Marv, Texas, and Bellamy looked down. Although Grayson met my gaze head-on, I knew for sure he wasn't sleeping. He was too busy running off in the middle of the night, convincing me to break into rehab facilities that dealt drugs to their patients. I nodded once.

  "Alright then, we take a night. Get some sleep. That's not a request." They all seemed pretty shocked by my new tone, but I had decided to put our relationship issues to the side for now. We could deal with all that after we worked this job. I would make sure Erika was safe—probably chastise her and lock her away from boys for the rest of her life like an overprotective father—and then I would approach the guys. This thing between us couldn't go on the way that it was. I mean, sure, right now they said I didn’t have to choose, but anyone would expect a decision sooner or later, right? What kind of person wouldn’t choose? No one was crazy enough to start a relationship with more than one man and keep it. That kind of relationship wasn’t built to last. It wasn't fair to them and to be honest, it wasn't fair to me. I cared about all of them—yes, even Grayson. Despite his rough exterior and his hard edges and smartass tendencies, there was a vulnerability beneath that called to me. There was a lonely man under his facade. One that I wanted to wrap my arms around and protect. I couldn't very well do anything about that now, though. I had to find Erika first and fix our problems one by one.

  "Harlow's right," Knix said, sounding infinitely more tired now that I had pointed it out. He turned his big, blue eyes, sharp and deep as the ocean, on me. "We'll take some downtime and then go hard. You’ve got class tomorrow. Do you want me to walk you back to the dorms?"

  I bit my lip. I glanced beyond him to the clock hanging on the wall. Class—although educational—was now just a cover. I wasn't here to become a college student. I was here to play a college student. Normal, when I was anything but now. Still, if I was going to keep up appearances, I probably shouldn’t show up looking like death warmed over. "Yeah," I finally decided, "thanks, I'd appreciate that."

  Knix nodded and began shuffling me across the room towards the door. "No thanks necessary, Little Bit."

  By the time I finally got back to Chipley Hall, I was just as exhausted as the guys. I felt like I was held together by really crappy glue and scotch tape. Maybe Lizzie could tell because as soon as I walked in the door and face-planted on my bed, she quietly moved over to my side of the room and gingerly sat on the edge of my bed to stroke my hair back from my face.

  I faced her. "That bad?" she asked.

  I closed my eyes. "It's complicated," I said.

  She continued stroking her fingers through my hair and I let her. It felt good. It reminded me of when I was a little girl and Erika and I would play hairdresser. She'd braid my hair and twist it in pretty ways, then I'd put diamond stickers in her hair since I couldn't do much more than brush it. I wasn't even good at braiding. I missed her so much, and I wished I could ask for her thoughts on the guys. I wasn't so sure about asking her for advice after everything that had happened, but I definitely knew I needed to get my best friend back. Lizzie was sweet and nice, but she was no Erika.

  Yeah, to some people, Erika probably seemed flighty and irrational. But she had always had my back against bullies. She was over-passionate, and she fell in love way too easily. She was a mess of a person, but a well-meaning mess of a person. She was my mess. Cold tears leaked through my closed eyelids. Lizzie must have noticed because she left and when she came back, I felt the softness of a tissue pressed into my hand. Lizzie was sweet. She probably thought I was crying over the guys—the truth was, I was crying over much more than them. I was crying because sometimes life was just too much.

  Grayson was obviously shutting down. Maybe it was about his brother, maybe not. But it reminded me of my relationship, or lack thereof, with my brother. Michael hadn't called me in weeks. I hadn't talked to my mom either. The guys wanted me to choose, Erika was in danger, and I felt like a crushing weight was sitting on my shoulders.

  Logically, I knew it wasn't all on me. I wasn't responsible for everyone in my life. But things would be so much easier if I could have just one person to blame or one person to go to. Lizzie continued to stroke my hair, murmuring soft words of reassurance. I turned and curled into her, my head on her lap.

  "It'll all work out, Harlow," she assured me. Even though she had no clue what was going on, I sincerely hoped so. I hoped like hell that it did. Because if it didn't work out—if all the issues I was faced with didn't resolve themselves—I didn't know what I would do. I didn't know what would happen.

  Chapter 14

  Someone up top must have sensed my emotions and decided to add dreary weather to my list of issues. Because the next day, as I got up after a night of crying, one look out my window revealed dark thunderous clouds and drops of rain on the window. Go figure. Weeks of sunny weather had come crashing down into a day of rainstorms.

  I dressed warmly in jeans and a long-sleeve t-shirt before pulling on a rain slicker. A glance at my cell told me no one had called. Perhaps, the guys were still sleeping. Or maybe they had headed to their own classes for a change. Since I didn't know what the plan was, and I had yet to come up with one, I decided to stop skipping class and head to Gothic Lit.

  Despite my hopes to not look like warmed up death, I probably resembled exactly that when I walked in and headed toward
s my seat. I passed by several somewhat familiar faces that blurred in my memory. The only way I knew they were familiar was because a few of them raised their hands to me in greeting. College, I learned, was a lot friendlier of a place than high school. Where everyone would have ignored another student walking into class, here we were all acquaintances at the very least and respect was a little higher on the totem pole.

  The professor walked in, laying her supplies on the table at the front of the room. I didn't know what we went over, and I didn't know what we were supposed to have read—not anymore. I drowned out the professor's words and began doodling on my notebook when I felt the familiar sensation of my phone vibrating in my pocket.

  As inconspicuously as possible, I slipped the cell out and checked the screen.

  Grayson: House meeting. 15 min.

  I didn't know what it was about, but I doubted Grayson had spent the night resting like I told him to. And if that was the case, then he had found something. Without second guessing myself, I quickly stood and gathered my things to quietly make my way to the door.

  "Harlow?" I froze at the door at the sound of Dr. C's tone. I had hoped she wouldn't notice my departure. "Is everything okay?" she asked.

  Pasting on a smile, I turned back. "Yeah," I professed. "I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling well." For a change, my inability to hide a tight smile or act like I wasn't exhausted when I was came in handy.

  She looked me over and frowned before nodding. "Alright dear, be sure to get the class assignment from the website and gather any notes before next class," she said.

  I nodded back. "Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry for interrupting class."

  Dr. C shook her head and offered me a sympathetic look. "Feel better," she called as I made my escape.

  The moment I was out of the building, I booked it to the duplex. Even as the rain came down harder, I flicked up the hood of my slicker and stomped my converse through the wet puddles on the sidewalk. My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out of my pocket wondering if it was Grayson hurrying me along. Once again, though, it was just an unknown number. I ignored the call and shoved my phone back in my pocket. So distracted by the rain and the phone call, I didn't even notice the sound of tires over wet pavement. Perhaps because they were small, thin bicycle tires. I just assumed that a bicyclist would see me and move out of the way, but when I realized how close it was—just behind me—and how no one had called out, I looked up. My eyes widened as a figure in dark clothing barreled towards me.

  Whoever it was didn't swerve. Their face was covered by a hood and scarf tugged up, I assume to block the rain. Perhaps it was for that reason, that they were heading straight at me. I didn't even manage a scream before I was knocked off my feet. My back hit the concrete sidewalk and dots danced in front of my face. I felt wet pellets of raindrops slap my cheeks before all of the dots grew gradually larger and then encompassed my entire field of vision. I fell into a gray world of oblivion.

  There was an incessant beeping noise just to the side of my head and the constant barrage was like little nails burrowing holes in my skull. Every beep was a giant crater that dug its way into my brain and rattled around. I made a half-strangled groan at the painful feeling. As soon as I made a noise, there were several footsteps and shuffling across from me. I peeked my eyes open.

  "Sweetheart?" Bellamy's face hovered to the side of mine and I blinked at him stupidly, confused.

  "What are you doing here?" I asked. Then something else occurred to me as I looked around the room—a hospital room, I realized, by the white barren walls and fluorescent lights. I closed my eyes, reminded of my mom. "Why am I here?"

  "Little Bit." Knix's deep timbre came from my other side and my eyes flicked back open. "Do you not remember anything?"

  I thought back. I remembered...rain, Grayson's text message, leaving class, and... "Was I hit by a bike?" I asked.

  "Is that what happened?" This time it was Texas squeezing up next to Bellamy beside my hospital bed.

  I nodded. "I think so." That beeping was still going on. I looked over and slapped a hand out towards the heart monitor. "Can you please turn that thing off, it's hurting my head," I said.

  "Sure." I blinked as Marv stepped in through the doorway, holding two cups of coffee with Grayson right behind him, who also had steaming cups of coffee in both hands. When had they gotten so chummy? Marv handed a cup to Knix and then passed one over to Bellamy before he moved to the monitor. Instead of searching for the right button, he simply reached down and pulled the plug on the monitor. The monitor started going haywire, but as soon as it was out of the wall the screen went dark, and beautiful, blissful silence greeted my ears.

  I groaned in relief.

  Marv moved back and retrieved one of the cups from Grayson and then, as a unit they moved towards the end of my bed. While I was no longer surrounded by that incessant beeping, I was now surrounded by five imposing figures.

  “Uh…” I looked around the bed. “So…why am I in the hospital again?” I asked.

  “You hit your head when you got knocked down,” Knix answered. “Luckily, you had your ID card on you and when whoever found you called the ambulance, they called your mom to let her know what happened, but all of her calls get rerouted to me for the time being and once we found out why you never showed up to the house, we got here as fast as we could.”

  A warm hand on the top of my foot made me jump and I peeled my gaze from Knix’s face and turned to the end of the bed. Marv’s hand was clenched tight around his coffee cup while his other one held the top of my foot. His face was a mask of pain and concern. “We were really worried about you, Sunshine.”

  Something must have triggered me. What it was, I couldn’t say. Maybe it was a combination of his facial expression, their nearness, or the head injury, but when the nickname rolled off his tongue, my mouth opened, and words just tumbled out. Like falling, head first, down a long dark rabbit hole. I might have had a concussion. Brain damage. Too much pain medication. Maybe I just had filled my own head with all of these expectations—real or imagined—and they were finally bursting free. Maybe it was fate.

  “So, you just came running?”

  Marv blinked, surprised. Actually, they all looked pretty surprised. Wow, I was really getting good at shocking them. Even Grayson frowned with confusion. He was the one that stepped closer to the end of the bed—right next to Marv, I noticed. “Of course we came running,” he said gruffly. “You were hurt. You’re important to us.”

  “Individually?” I asked. “Or all together?”

  “What?”

  “I’m important to you individually or I’m important to you all the same way?” I asked.

  “Little Bit, that doesn’t make any sense,” Knix said, leaning down. “What are you trying to say?”

  I shook my head hard, feeling like my brain was still rattling around up there. “You.” I nodded at Knix then turned my head to Bellamy. “You.” I turned to Texas. “And you.” And finally, to Marv and Grayson. “And definitely you two.” I twisted my neck to look back at Knix again. “You want me to choose, but you all care about me—you just said so—so how fair is that? How should I choose when only one of you won’t get hurt? Me too—I’ll get hurt, no matter who I choose. Why should I choose? It’s not fair. You don’t just love one person for the rest of your life, right?”

  I nodded to myself, assured in my logic. “No,” I continued, “sometimes, you love someone, get married, get divorced, fall in love again. Wouldn’t it make sense that sometimes you can fall in love at the same time?”

  “With two people?” Bellamy was the one asking, so I flipped my gaze to him.

  “With five,” I said.

  Silence reigned. And this time, it wasn’t the beautiful, blissful kind.

  “Harlow, are you saying…that you love all of us?” Marv sounded shocked.

  I whipped my head around so fast, I almost careened out of the bed. Bellamy and Texas saved me from toppling over onto them by reaching out and c
atching me, pushing me back upright. “Is that so hard to believe?” I asked. “You’re all freaking amazing. I mean, you have your downsides—you’re so freaking stubborn and you boss me around and keep things from me sometimes.” I paused and frowned, remembering how we first met. When I raised my head to glare at them, Texas backed up, hands out.

  “Hey, don’t look at me like that, we eventually opened up!” he said.

  “Yeah,” I snapped, perturbed. “Eventually.” But it was nearly impossible to stay angry at that face of his forever—or any of theirs really. I sighed. “But y’all are amazing. You’re nice and you care about me and you protect me and even though some of you are assholes—” I glanced pointedly between Marv and Grayson who both had the nerve to look sheepish. “You look out for me and I mean, what girl wouldn’t be attracted to that?”

  “Attracted?” Texas moved back in, leaning over the side of the bed once more.

  I rolled my eyes and my head lolled to the side as I did. “Well, duh.” Reaching up, my hand smacked my forehead. “Big red truck—of course I’m attracted to you!” Knix snagged my hand and gently lowered it to my lap. “Do you think I kissed you all because I was trying you guys out? What? Do I look like the kinda girl who takes Ferrari’s for a test drive?”

  “Why is she talking about cars?” I wasn’t sure which one had whispered it, but it didn’t matter. I was on a roll.

  My neck was hurting so I leaned back. The bed was raised up slightly, so I didn’t have to go very far. But still, it felt like I was stretched out on a cushy table with all of the guys surrounding me, watching me. I sniffled. “It’s just not fair,” I said, looking up at them. “You want me to choose, but I can’t.” I turned to Knix as tears flooded my eyes. “I can’t, Knix.” His face was strained, his lips tightening into a slant. He leaned down and brushed tendrils of hair out of my eyes.