Griz walks over to us. “Yeah, besides if you want to ride home with me, it’d be nice if you didn’t smell like some weak-ass skunk. Just save it for later, Blaze.” He frowns at me, and that’s enough. Maybe it’s because he’s so big, but Griz just has this Dad-like quality that none of us like disappointing.
“Fine.” I sigh. I slide the joint and lighter back in my pocket.
Griz cups his hands around his mouth and yells, “Everyone who needs a lift back to Hector House, get on the bus!” He waves his hand at his Escalade.
“We’ll meet you guys there,” Gucci yells back while getting into Etta’s Prius.
The rest of us are stuck cramming in Griz’s vehicle. I’m grateful for the free ride back to our place, but it’s got a bit of a prom limo vibe in here. Hattie is sitting with Griz up front. Even if she wasn’t dressed up, she’d stand out with her long red hair. Griz is a big beast of a man, and they make a great couple. She’s pretty tall too, and Griz likes a girl with some serious curves. Who doesn’t?
Kaylee went the opposite direction of the dressing up thing. Her dark hair is in a messy bun. She’s wearing her signature yoga pants and short winter coat. There’s no way she didn’t combine them on purpose because of how much it makes her ass stick out. Player eats it up. That girl knows exactly what she’s doing. He’s got love in his eyes and his arm around her.
I guess that makes Canuck and I that cringey couple. The ones who feel too awkward to go to prom alone so they go together as friends.
The couples are having separate conversations with each other. I look out the window, barely listening when Canuck pulls out his phone and starts having a conversation that’s impossible to ignore.
“Camille! Yeah, we’re back. It was a long drive back and I’m beat, but…” He listens. “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I am calling you. I didn’t forget… pfft. You can’t kick my ass… listen, that was one time and I was like, eleven. Mmhmm, whatever. Listen, we won our game.”
I can hear the muffled shrieks before he even lifts the phone from his ear. Now the entire car can hear them.
“Tell her about your shut-out, Canuck,” Player says over his shoulder.
There’s more screaming. So much more.
“Uh, yeah, she heard you.” Canuck laughs, still holding the phone out. Once the squeals stop, he holds it back to his ear again.
“Yeah, for real. Yeah? Well, thanks. That means a lot.” He softens. “I know, I’ll be home in a month though. We’ll catch up for lost time then. I miss you too. Bye.”
Griz pulls onto our road, and Hector House is in sight. It’s not long before we’re parked in the driveway and dragging our gear inside with us. Canuck slings his hockey bag over his shoulder and Kaylee smiles over at him.
“What did she say?”
“Camille? She told me she’s proud.” He looks down and smiles.
I miss Prissy.
I’m not sure why the thought just stormed into my mind, but I can’t seem to shake it once it barges in.
“Awww.” Hattie tilts her head. “You guys must be pretty close.
“Yeah, she’s a cool girl. We’ve been friends now since sixth grade. I think it was grade six?” He frowns and squints like he’s doing some mental math. “Yeah, I was eleven, so grade six. Anyway, she got transferred to my school halfway through the year and we’ve pretty much been friends ever since.”
Finally, they stop blocking the back end of the Escalade so I can grab my own bag instead of getting stuck listening to Canuck’s life story in the freezing fucking cold. Everyone gets inside, and it’s pretty loud until all the boots are off, coats are hung and bags are dropped.
We automatically shuffle into the kitchen. It’s the one place we spend the most time.
“Is Camille pretty?” Kaylee asks. She and Hattie both watch Canuck closely.
He shrugs. “Yeah, she’s hot, but she’d probably kick my ass if she knew I was talking about her looks.” He laughs. “Camille is scrappy. The only reason she transferred to my school is because she got kicked out of a bunch of others for fighting.” Canuck shakes his head like he’s telling an adorable story about baby farm animals or something.
The look shared between Hattie and Kaylee isn’t lost on him.
“We’re not like that.” Canuck shakes his head much faster now for an entirely different reason. “It’s never been like that with us.”
“Uh huh.” Hattie smiles knowingly at Griz.
“I used to say the same thing.” Kaylee squeezes Players hand. “What do you think, Noah?” Kaylee asks him.
“I think I’m too hungry to give a crap about Canucks Canadian chick. Let’s get some food.” Player goes to the fridge and pops it open, immediately deflating. “Oh, yeah, I forgot I need groceries. Damn there’s not a lot here. Uh, it looks like another omelette.”
“I’d rather starve.” Kaylee sighs. “Let me take a look.” She joins him and starts rummaging around.
Hattie and Griz are busy buttering up the heated skillet on the stove. They’ve got some thick slices of cheese in their sandwiches that they’re getting ready to melt.
I grab myself a granola bar and rip it open with my teeth.
Kaylee pulls out a carrot, an onion and peers back inside the fridge.
“If you think I’m going to eat salad...” Player starts.
“Relax. Everyone is well aware of how much you hate salad.” She drops the stuff on the counter and opens the cupboard, pulling out a can of corn and a box of rice. “I’m making stir fried rice. Actually, I’ll use your eggs too. Can you grab them for me, Noah?”
Player is happy to grab the carton for her. Griz and Hattie are already at the dining room table eating their grilled cheese together.
I’m not that hungry, or maybe I just don't feel like eating alone surrounded by a bunch of happy couples like the odd one out on Love Island or something. I never knew you could miss eating with someone. Fuck.
There’s a bunch of noise at the front door as Etta and Gucci finally show up, stomping in. Of course, they come down to the kitchen too. It’s the first and last place we tend to go every day. Well, besides the toilet.
Griz comes back in the kitchen, serving up seconds for himself and Hattie when his sister walks in.
“Did you guys get lost?” He seems completely oblivious to Etta’s just-fucked hair.
Etta and Gucci don’t look comfortable spitting out the obvious. No one here is going to explain it to him. Kaylee comes to their rescue. “I asked Etta to drop something off for me at our dorm.” It’s a clunky excuse, but she pulls it off confidently enough.
“What thing?” Griz asks.
“A none-of-your-business thing,” Kaylee answers.
“Let’s go eat these before they get cold.” Hattie distracts him, pulling him back out to the dining room.
That’s my cue to leave too. I go grab my boots and coat and walk them through the house to our back door. Once I’ve got them on, I head out to our deck and pull out my joint from earlier. I need to clear my head a bit, but first I need to make it foggy.
I inhale a huge puff of weed, and the door opens and shuts behind me. Player walks out. He obviously came out here for a reason because he’s all bundled up in his winter gear.
“Hey man, we need to have a talk.”
My phone buzzes in my pocket with a text. Probably Canuck warning me that Player’s on his way or some helpful shit like that. I don’t bother looking at it. I’ve got other things on my mind. Here it comes. The lecture. I blow out the smoke.
“Player, can you not get on my ass about this? I think I’m doing pretty good here. If I can’t even smoke a joint at my own house and go pass out for the night, like, c’mon.” I take another big lungful and hold it.
“You done?” he asks.
“Sure.” I make sure not to blow my smoke in his direction.
“I don’t give a fuck if you’re getting high. I might not always agree with it, but we’ve got nowhere to be and no resp
onsibilities to meet, so, you’re entitled to a little smoke.
After the year Player and I have had, I wonder if he’s wearing a wire for a second. He doesn’t normally miss a chance to get on my case. Player stares off. I don’t say anything. Neither of us do. My phone buzzes in my pocket again and it’s so quiet I can only faintly hear it.
Player lets out a huge sigh and his frustrations hang in the air for a second in a frozen cloud. “Listen, Blaze, I know we’ve had a rough year.”
“You could definitely say that,” I interrupt.
“Yeah, well, it’s not all on me.” He gives me a side eye.
Even though he’s right, I’m not going to say it. Instead, I shrug and take another haul off my joint.
“I know I’ve gotten on you because you’re selfish and for not caring about the team.” He starts playing his greatest hits album for me. The highlight reel of the shit he’s been spouting at me for months now.
“I’ve got the message loud and clear, Player.” I cut him off with my own fucking side eye.
“I know. I guess it also pisses me off because I take it personally, man.” Player looks right at me. His face is different. I think it’s the first time I haven’t seen anger or hate in his eyes since… I’m not sure.
“You know I’m here on scholarship. I’ve had to bust my ass to earn my spot on this team,” he starts back on me.
“Yeah, well, you’re Team Captain. So, good job. It worked.” I flick the cherry off my joint and pack it against my thumbnail before storing back away.
“I wouldn’t be the Team Captain if you actually gave a shit though.” He frowns at the ground.
“What do you mean?” I know the weed hasn’t hit me that quick or that hard. What he’s saying makes no sense. Especially not coming from his mouth.
“Blaze, you’ve got more natural talent than anyone on this team. You’re a natural leader too. Just look at Rookie and the other young guys. You know they fucking worship you. If you’d use that stuff for good, instead of fucking around… Well, there’s no telling what you could do, man. But most of the time, it seems like you think this is a fucking joke. Like, you’re just sitting back, laughing while we’re busting our asses to get to your level.”
I don’t know what to say to him. I never expected Player to have a nice thing to say to me. That’s a shock. Maybe I have been throwing it all away. It never felt like that though. It felt like being mad at the world. It felt like numbing pain. It felt like grief.
“You’re right, Player.” Words I never thought I’d speak come out of my mouth. And I mean them.
I realize that the entire time I’ve felt like Player has been judging me, he’s felt like I’ve been laughing at him.
“I haven’t been taking it as seriously as I can. I’ve been dealing with some personal shit, and it makes it hard to be at a hundred percent. I’m going to give it everything at the tournament though. You have my word, man.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t think it’s being that much of a dick to say your word doesn’t mean much these days. A few flowery words won’t fix shit, Blaze. You gotta back it up. Actions and words, man. Actions and words. Anyway, I’m going inside. Have a good night, Blaze.” He walks away from me, not looking back or waiting for my response. He’s said what he wanted to say. Now he wants to see my actions change, from his words.
I slide my hands in my coat pockets and remember that my phone was buzzing earlier when my hand brushes against it. I pull it out and see there are two messages waiting, both from Prissy.
Prissy: Mom wants you to join us for dinner tomorrow.
Prissy: will u?
Player’s words are still ringing in my ears, but I focus and text her back.
Me: Sorry to leave you hanging. Was talking to Player
If I’m judged on my actions, Prissy’s mother must have some fucking thoughts after me walking in on her naked. And that was after Prissy and I woke her up with our loud, alcohol-soaked sex. It might be the first impression, but it doesn’t have to be the final impression. I can get a do-over, right?
Me: Yes. I’ll be there.
23
Olympic High Jumper
Priscilla
The food isn’t here yet. Blaze isn’t here yet. Mom and I sit in the living room... waiting on both. She’s got her legs stretched out across the sofa. I prefer the leather wingback chair. It looks so formal and stuffy, but I think it’s the comfiest spot in the house.
I check the time on my phone, again. Nothing is wrong. No one is late. So why am I so…
“Nervous?” My mother tucks a strand of silver hair behind her ear. I like that she stopped dyeing it a few years back. My entire life I’ve heard that women get old and men get distinguished. She has shown me that there can be beauty and grace in aging. Silver hair and wrinkles don’t change that.
“No.” I deny the truth, but there’s no lying to my mother. It’s been just the two of us forever. Except for a few years when I was a teenager, secrets have never been a big thing between us.
“Uh huh. Don’t worry, if seeing me naked didn’t phase him, this little dinner won’t scare him away.” She smiles at me.
“Oh, God. Why would you bring that up?” My red cheeks and head shaking just make her laugh harder.
“It’ll be fine,” she reassures me. “I like this one, Priscilla. He’s not your usual type.”
“I don’t have a type.”
“Pfft. Yeah you do. Those little dweeby men that all look like they work in IT and think a fedora is dressing up.” She makes no effort to hide her judgement. “Blaze seems like the opposite of them. A big, masculine, swinging-dick-alpha kind of guy.”
“Mom,” I groan. There are times that I wish we were a bit less open with each other. This is one of them.
“What? I’m happy for you.” I can see it’s true. There’s a glimmer of hope in her eyes that I’ve never seen. It makes me uncomfortable.
“Well, don’t get too attached,” I warn her. “We’re not serious.”
“No? Are you seeing other guys?” Mom isn’t known for her strong boundaries.
“No.”
“So, he’s seeing other girls?” She looks less impressed by that option.
“Uh, no.” At least, I don’t think so.
“Sounds pretty serious to me. So, what’s the problem?” She looks like she’s trying to read my thoughts by staring into my head. She’s analyzing my silence.
How am I supposed to explain Blaze to my mother? His drinking, the drugs, the endless parade of girls. All the things he’s been cutting back. All the things he’s been giving up. He’s already shown me how much he can change, so what am I afraid of? After working for an alpha-type boss who got me fired for avoiding his swinging dick, I think I’ve gotten cautious.
“Don’t shut yourself off to possibilities, Priscilla.” Mom seems to read my mind. “Boundaries are great…”
“Oh my God like you’d know.” I laugh. Mom does too.
“Fair.” She tilts her head. “I’m just saying if you put up walls, it’s not just pain you keep from your heart. It’s all the good stuff too.”
“Are you supposed to give out advice you’d never take?” I lift an eyebrow.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
My phone dings and buzzes at the same time, like it’s excited to hear from someone.
Blaze: Papa Griz is dropping me off, be there in 5 :)
I send him a thumbs up emoji back. It doesn’t accurately represent the explosion of nerves in my stomach, but sending a bunch of butterflies back wouldn’t make sense.
Mom is still watching me, waiting for me to explain myself. “Dad left when I was six, Mom. I’m just saying, I don’t see you opening your heart to anyone, and it’s been almost twenty years.”
“I’ve gone on dates,” she scoffs.
“Yeah, you have. But you won’t open your heart to anyone. Sounds like you could take your own advice.”
“I know.” It doesn’t feel goo
d to watch her struggle to keep the sadness off her face. “Well, I know it’s every girl’s dream to be a carbon copy of their mom.” She winks at me.
“I could do a lot worse.”
“Take it from someone on the other side of that wall. It gets lonely. I just want you to be happy, hun.”
“I know, Mom. I want that for you too.”
Tap, tap, tap. The knock on the door is polite and unobtrusive. It makes me wonder if the pizza beat Blaze here. “I’ll get it.” I head to the entryway.
“Ok,” Mom answers and disappears into the kitchen.
“Oh, it’s you.” I didn’t expect it to be Blaze.
“I just texted you.” He seems confused by my confusion.
“Yeah, I know. Come in,” Blaze takes off his winter clothes and wraps his arms around me. Pulling me in close until I can feel his breath on my earlobe. He whispers,” You look fucking sexy. Wanna give me a private tour of the place before dinner? Maybe we could start with your bedroom?”
“Behave,” I murmur.
I wish we had the privacy to run up to my room and get naked. It’s difficult enough that Hector House is off limits, but my roommate situation makes this place a no-go most days too.
“Aww, crap!” My mother’s voice drifts out, crystalizing why my bedroom is currently off limits.
I lead Blaze to the kitchen to see what’s going on. Mom is hunched over, fumbling through the drawer of randomness, the one where cooking utensils go to die. Things like the garlic press, cookie cutters and slotted spoons get tossed in and forgotten forever.
“What’s wrong?”
She pops up like I snuck up on her. “Well, I picked up some beer to go with the pizza, but they don’t have the screw tops on them. Pricilla, do you know where there’s a bottle opener?
“Here, I got it.” Blaze pulls out a lighter. He tilts it under the cap and flips it off with a flick of his wrist.
“Impressive.” Mom takes the beer from him looking like he just made it appear from thin air.
“It’s a party trick.” Blaze shrugs. He quickly opens another couple.
BLAZE: Enemies to Lovers College Hockey Romance Page 15