Senior Year Bucket List

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Senior Year Bucket List Page 14

by Miller, J. M.


  “No need for sacrifices.”

  “No?” His head turned back and forth. “How about an obligatory fair game stuffed animal then? Or maybe even some time in the photo booth over there? I get it now. I totally understand all the girly, mushy shit. Suddenly, I’m wanting to do it all right now. For you.”

  I couldn’t stop the smile on my face even if I wanted to. “Are you getting cheesy on me?”

  “Tell me what you want. I will do it all. I’m not even the least embarrassed to admit that shit.”

  “I want you.”

  “You have me.”

  19

  ______________

  Celia

  -now-

  “And they didn’t say anything about sleeping out here?” I asked Caleb, looking over my shoulder at the blankets and pillows he’d gotten from the lodge.

  “Lucy, the receptionist, mentioned that this parking area and the quarry itself are still state land. So while they help maintain the space, they technically aren’t responsible for it and won’t do anything as long as we aren’t a pain in the ass. She may have already called me one, though.”

  I laughed at that. “Yeah, I’m sure. What did you have to do to get all this?”

  “Nothing much. Promise my first born male feline’s paw in cat marriage.”

  As I laughed again, I shivered. My bikini was still damp, my hair too.

  “It’s getting cold,” he noted, rubbing my bare thighs, still standing between them.

  I scooted farther out on the edge of the tailgate and reached up, drawing his face to mine, kissing him softly, thoroughly enjoying the way his scruff tickled and scratched at my skin, and the way he let me control the tempo, the rhythm.

  His hands slid higher up my thighs and gave a firm squeeze before breaking our lips apart. “You should get dry before we film the intro for the task. Lucy also mentioned us being able to use their outdoor bathroom attached to the lodge, which she says is nicer than the bathrooms out here. No one’s around, though. So you could change in the back seat if you want.”

  I nodded, and he helped me hop down. After an awkward minute swapping my clothes in the cab, I reemerged in my shorts, flats, and T-shirt to find him already changed into a pair of cargo shorts, a thin gray V-neck, and the pair of slip-on sandals he’d worn earlier.

  “You need to stop ogling my sexy body before I start to feel objectified.”

  “Smug as ever,” I replied with an eye roll.

  He laughed, grabbed my hand, then yanked me to his body, practically folding himself entirely around me. His warmth felt spectacular, but so did his grasp. Flexed arms wrapping tightly, fingers clutching, face resting on the top of my head—he held me like he never wanted to let go, and it was the best feeling in the world. So good I sighed.

  “Let’s do this.” He stepped away, grabbed the notebook, and made some annotations in the extra pages after the list. Those held the dates and places of the tasks we’d completed, with empty space for all the others. “I find it hard to believe you never slept under the stars. She did that summer.”

  I pointed to the date. “I went to visit my grandparents with my mom then, right after graduation.” Unlike the previous summer, I’d been so grateful to get away.

  “Right. That wasn’t long before I went to football camp.”

  I looked down sadly at the notebook. “I was happy I didn’t have to see you.”

  His fingers slipped under my chin and lifted my face. “I was relieved that I didn’t have to see you either. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. Because I wanted to, like I wanted nothing else. It was that I knew I would cave on my promise to Mer if I was around you at all. I couldn’t be near you and not be with you. It hurt so fucking bad. Knowing that I’d hurt you made it a hundred times worse. Now I only wish I could erase it all.”

  “I’m angry with her. I don’t want to be, but I am.”

  “I am too. That’s why it took me a few days to process what she was asking. I should have done many things differently, including what happened at the wake. But I’m not sure what I would have done if she hadn’t asked this of us.” His hand slid over my jaw, cradling my face.

  “I wouldn’t have answered your calls or your texts, I know that. I was so angry. So after everything, I’m glad she did this, and I’m especially happy that you chose to show up at my apartment.”

  “I’m happy you didn’t shoot me when I did.”

  “Not a chance,” I admitted with a smile. “If anything, I would have stabbed you. I was too hungover for gunshots.”

  “Ohhh!” he said, throwing his head back with a laugh. His gaze was one of adoration when his face tipped back down. He pressed his lips to my forehead for a few moments. “We better get to this. We’re losing the light.”

  I readied the GoPro and started recording while he grabbed hold of the urn. We moved to a group of trees off to the side of the parking area.

  “So we’re staying the night here at the quarry to do two more tasks Celia didn’t complete senior year. Sleep under the stars and watch a sunrise. The bed of my truck is home for the next few hours.”

  I panned the camera around to get a shot of the truck and the pillows and blankets inside.

  “Hopefully, this doesn’t end up being something like The Blair Witch Project—”

  I gasped behind the camera.

  “Oh shit. Sorry, Celia.” He chuckled.

  “You are not sorry,” I said, still focused on him as darkness continued to overtake the sky, the water and cliff already like the deep shadows in a dusk painting. There was no moon. Everything would disappear soon enough.

  “Maybe not.” He shrugged, and I reached forward and slugged his arm. “Ow. Okay. We are perfectly safe here, people. There’s a cabin close. I’m sure it has plenty of places to hide and maybe trip and fall. Also likely lots of sharp blades hanging from hooks in the basement.”

  “Caleb!” I screeched and looked around.

  “I’m just saying. And you know, couples always seem to get hit first—”

  “Okay, I can’t do this. Take me home.”

  “No, no, no,” he said in a rush as he darted forward and grabbed hold of me, tossing my arms up around his neck. “I will hold you all night if you need me to.” His face nuzzled against my neck, scruff scratching my skin, lips pressing beneath my ear.

  My body flashed with heat, and I lifted my eyes to the sky, watching the stars begin to show. “Oh, you are so smooth, aren’t you? Don’t worry, I’ll get you back.”

  “I have no doubt you will,” he whispered with a breathy laugh then backed away and opened the urn. “Where was I? Oh, yeah … So if you’re seeing this, please tell our families—”

  “Caleb!”

  He laughed with his mouth wide and stuck out his tongue. Mother eff … My body caught fire. Even with the light almost totally gone, his full smile threatened to melt my heart and my underwear.

  “Sorry. Okay. So, here’s to Mer. I’m sure she would have approved of our choice to stay because she would have thought of it first.” He unscrewed the urn lid and shook some ashes at the base of a tree. “Anything to add, Tarsier?”

  I groaned at the nickname, mostly because he used it directly on camera, which I wasn’t sure had happened yet. Either way, many more people would hear it. Know it.

  “Oh, crap.” He shuffled over to me. “That slipped. Honest. We’ll edit it.” As I let the camera fall to my side, he brushed some hair back from my face. “Are you tired? Hungry?”

  “Actually, I am a little hungry. Do you have any more of those fantastic pb&j’s stashed somewhere?”

  “Nope. But they have to have food up there,” he said. “Give me a minute.” And he was off into the dark, leaving me all alone.

  I scurried back to the bed of the truck and lay flat inside to stare up at the stars, now brighter than anything else, but also because I feared some knife-wielding lunatic would get out of the water and slice me open. Maybe not exactly that, but I wasn’t hung up on the
specifics.

  Caleb returned in the nick of time, before I started sinking into true paranoia and analyzing every leaf rustle, owl hoot, and twig snap.

  “You don’t want to know what I had to do for these. Here, hop out and hold them, and I’ll spread the blankets.”

  I slipped off the tailgate and took the paper plate he offered. The smell hit me before I even focused on what it was. Sweet. Warm sugar and chocolate. Cookies. “Oh, these smell like heaven. Tell me you got milk.”

  “Of course.” His body shifted around, covering the bed. “The comforter will soften the bottom a little better. But if the thinner blankets aren’t warm enough tonight or we aren’t comfortable, we can sleep in the cab the rest of the time. I’m sure that’ll still count. Hop up.” He set his sandals at the edge, dug into his pockets, and pulled out two milk bottles. I handed the cookies over, climbed up, and kicked off my flats.

  “Mmm.” The cookies tasted as good as they smelled.

  “Right?” He chewed one down quickly. “So did ya miss me?”

  “I did, especially after that delightful commentary on our potential deaths by a scary woodland witch or the dude with the mask who likes to kill people at Camp Crystal Lake.”

  He chuckled. “Why didn’t you use your phone flashlight?”

  “I checked it earlier when I got dressed and it’s almost dead. I might fight you for your charger when we leave in the morning.”

  “No need to fight. I’ll give you anything.”

  “Anything, huh?” I mumbled, chewing the last of the cookie down then chasing it with my milk.

  “That’s what I said, Tarsier.” He bit into another.

  “Hmm. That’s pretty risky. I could ask you for, well, anything. Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider?”

  “Nah. I trust you.” After downing his milk, he lay back, tucked a pillow under his head, and stretched out with a satisfied sigh.

  I followed his lead, grabbing the GoPro and tilting it up to the clear, inky sky dotted enchantingly by the stars. A perfect night.

  “So what’s it gonna be?” he whispered.

  “I’ll get back to you,” I replied, not sure what I’d use that kind of power on yet. “This is incredible. I’m glad you asked me to stay. Thank you.” I turned the camera and my face to the side to see him, finding his eyes already on me. Only a dim glow lit his features, but his eyes seemed to shine.

  “Thank you for staying.” His hand found my free one and brought it to his lips to kiss my knuckles sweetly. “Tell me something.”

  “What?” I asked, turning my attention back to the stars as he kept hold of my hand.

  “Anything. Tell me more. You know, to really drive home what I’ve been missing these years.”

  I chuckled. “I don’t know. I’m kinda the same. I have my usual routine. Workouts are essential because I love to eat everything. My job pays the bills. My apartment’s nice—”

  “With a guard neighbor who sized me up before I could enter the building.”

  That one made me laugh fully. “Mrs. Thomas. Oh yeah, she had a few things to say about that morning.” She’d been very eager to grill me when I’d returned home that night.

  “I bet. She was excited to witness a Maury level event in person, I’m sure.” After a pause, he asked, “What else?”

  “I have four close friends from work. We go out for drinks whenever their schedules mesh. They’re all older. Some married. Some with kids. You might have to thank them one day, for me being more compliant when you showed up at my apartment.”

  “Yeah?”

  “We were out last Friday. We talked about the wake and about you. They may have softened me up on the idea of speaking to you again, to at least let you apologize correctly.”

  “Well, I will have to thank them then. What else? What’s your favorite flower?”

  I bit my lip and squeezed his hand. “You know that one.”

  “Do I? Wasn’t it a lily or something?” I could hear the smile in his voice.

  “Once upon a time, back before the most annoying boy I knew gave me a daisy.” His thumb stroked my hand at that. “What about you?”

  “Me? It’s a toss-up. Venus flytraps and daisies.”

  “Stop,” I joked, shaking my head.

  “No, seriously. The flower on the flytrap is nice, and the plant is a badass.”

  “And the daisy?” I humored him.

  “Well, it’s elegant, and though it may look simplistic, it has a lot more going on because it’s actually many flowers. The outside petals—soft and gorgeous—are individual florets. Then there’s the center cluster, with more of a different floret, which is so attractive to any pushy, nectar craving bee. And bright yellow too, like a certain bikini I remember.”

  If it had been daytime, he would have seen how red my face had gotten. But I doubted he needed to see to know.

  “You seem to know a lot about daisies.” I whispered with a smile. “And?”

  “Hmm. Football is still close to my heart. Here we go, Steelers! I have a few close friends from work and college. We hang here and there. I go to the gym to maintain this notch-above-average bod you were appreciating earlier.” I laughed as he continued, “I do like long walks on the beach whenever I visit one. I’m not big on social media.”

  “I remember.”

  “Yeah? You stalkin’ me?”

  “Well, we’re still friends on Facebook, though I don’t think I’ve seen you post anything since high school,” I admitted. “Not that I’m on there much either. What else?”

  “Hmm. I’m preparing a proposal for my dad to expand, like with the custom designs I’ve done on the side for some great clients. I made several interactive kids sets for local pediatric clinics. It was really fun to see them in use.” His hand squeezed mine again, and my heart felt as if it were going to overflow. “What do you think? Did I share the right things? Are you convinced of my awesomeness?”

  “If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you were so full of it. But after hearing your awesomeness, I’m feeling disappointed in myself. You are fascinating, talented, and endearingly smug like always. While I …”

  His body shifted, turning over onto his side, propping his head onto his hand. “Don’t even think about it. I saw you today with your camera. Damn, Celia. I know you love it. And you’re not just good. You’ve always been amazing. Those pictures in your apartment … They are incredible.”

  “Yeah, but it’s one of those things that seems unobtainable.”

  “Why?”

  “I could try to find a job around where I am that will hire, sure. But entry or assistant positions aren’t the best pay. And if I wanted to start my own company … Well, my current student debt situation severely limits start-up costs. It’ll be a while before anything like that could happen.”

  “I see your points. But have you tried? Have you done the numbers or maybe inquired at a bank to get a loan?”

  “No. I didn’t want the heartbreak of denial, or being crushed when a side gig crashes and burns.”

  “You owe yourself the chance. You need to give it a shot or you’ll be stuck where you are forever.”

  “I never minded, I guess. Maybe that’s the sad part.”

  “That’s understandable too. I thought I was happy, until Mer died, and until you walked into her room. Most other shit feels meaningless. I’ve wasted so much time, like all the times I didn’t take off work when she was home to visit, believing that there would be another trip soon enough. And after seeing you again, all that time without you felt the same. I can’t go back. And I don’t want you to settle for less, even if it means a crash might come after that fall.”

  “I’ve missed you. For so many reasons. Before I stepped into Mer’s room, I felt like I was sleepwalking. Going along. Not really knowing, not really feeling. Seeing you again … you woke me up. I haven’t felt this good in so long.” I dropped the GoPro to my chest and switched it off, realizing I’d been filming the entire time, not
focusing on the stars and the night at all.

  “Come here,” he said, shifting closer, lifting his hand to my cheek.

  His palm was warm, his lips even more so as they parted mine. The kiss was slow at first, lazy and seductive, promising, building. His body leaned in more, pushing me fully onto my back, taking over, driving his tongue inside. My whole body heated and shivered at the same time, my nerves alerted to every touch, every connection, firing off sparks of excitement. His fingers dipped into my hair as he turned his head and mine, mouth moving, ebbing and flowing in a sensual rhythm.

  I pressed my hands to his waist and slipped them under his shirt, needing to touch his skin. As soon as I made contact, a fuse between us ignited. His mouth became the force to tip my whole world, demanding and urgent. I squeezed his hips, yanking him down, desperate to feel him everywhere.

  A low moan rumbled in his throat, making me yearn for even more.

  His mouth broke away from mine, trailing kisses over my chin, my jaw, my neck.

  “Caleb,” I whispered.

  “Celia.” He spoke my name onto my skin like a prayer. “I don’t want to stop this, but I will if you don’t want—”

  “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” I dropped my hands to the hem of my own shirt and wiggled beneath him.

  He took my cue, nearly ripping his shirt off while I did the same. And then he was back down on me, palm pressing to my stomach and sliding upward as his mouth met mine again. His hand cupped a breast, massaging over my too-padded bra.

  “Front clasp,” I murmured in a break of the kiss and trailed my hands between us, up his abs to his toned chest.

  He got the message, freeing the clasp with a quick movement. “Fuck. You are so much more than I remember, everything I ever wanted.”

  My nipples were rock-hard as his fingers pinched at one. I sighed into his mouth and arched my back, pushing myself into his hand more.

  And then his mouth was on the move again. Down. Down. Licking my skin, kissing the tender flesh of my breast, and hitting home with the other nipple. His mouth took it in, tongue swirling slowly before sucking.

  With my fingers in his hair, I tried my best to maintain some level of control when all I wanted was to jump on top of him as soon as possible. I didn’t care about where we were, about who might catch a glimpse through the blackened night. I was only thinking of him and how I’d wanted this to happen so long ago. With the darkness, I was tempted to believe it was a dream, and I’d wake up in my apartment alone and sad. But I knew it wasn’t true. His touch was hot and firm, the air cool and calm, and Caleb and I were finally going to have sex.

 

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