Senior Year Bucket List

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Senior Year Bucket List Page 16

by Miller, J. M.


  One thing I hadn’t thought about were the Adirondack chairs all positioned around a fire pit closer to the water. And that was a mistake. I realized that as soon as I ran past and heard giggling. Praying it was my imagination, I slowed and turned my head. Three women stared at me. Laptops in laps. Headphones on heads. Mouths wide-open.

  I stopped moving, covering myself with both hands now, keeping my bare ass pointed toward the quarry water. Despite the strong urge to sprint away as fast as possible, I had no one to chase. The kid was gone.

  “Ladies,” I said with a tiny nod and a petrified smile. They blinked at me.

  The one with the purple hair said, “Hey there … naked guy.” She turned to her friend with horn-rimmed glasses in the middle. “Where did he come from?”

  “My dreams?” was her reply, drawing giggles from the other two.

  “Uh …” All right, things had gotten weird. “Did you happen to see the little kid who ran past here? He stole my stuff.”

  “Yeah, really skinny. Hey, you ever think of modeling? For book covers maybe?” Horn-rimmed asked.

  Purple Hair smiled at her as if she had come up with the best idea ever.

  What? “Uh, no. But I might think about it if you tell me what direction the kid ran.” Hell, I was prepared to agree to just about anything to get out of that situation.

  “He went around the lodge, toward the parking lot,” the blonde on the end said, pointing over her shoulder while looking back down at her screen.

  “Thanks.” I took off while the other two jumped on her case.

  “What? I’m on a deadline,” was the last thing I heard.

  When I rounded the side, the kid was jogging to a little trail that led to the cabins. His arms were empty. Panic set in, hitting me with a flash of heat that instantly made me sweat as I scanned the area, searching for a place he could have stashed our goods. A blue sedan idled toward the end of the lot, a heap of clothes lay beneath the driver’s open window. I sprinted for it, and a guy with a bald buzz cut glanced at me before slamming on the gas and tossing more items from the window.

  “You son of a bitch! Get back here!” I screamed and squinted at the dirty license plate, unable to read it. As soon as I got to the pile of clothes, I pulled on my shorts, grabbed the rest, then collected the trail of stuff on the way to the Silverado. My billfold. The GoPro. The notebook. It was all there. Even the cash and cards.

  “What happened?” Celia asked when I returned to the water.

  I held up one of the blankets and helped her out, shielding her in case more eyes were awake. “That blue sedan. Ford, I think. He must have paid the kid to grab our stuff. When I ran at the car, he took off and left it all behind.”

  She finished pulling on her shorts and slid into her top, forgoing the bra. “He left it all?”

  “Yeah, nothing’s missing.” I dropped the blanket.

  “That is odd. He has to be the one who filmed us before. I remember seeing that blue car.”

  “I remember it at Murph’s place. It rode by a couple of times.”

  “Oh my God.” She slapped her hands over her mouth. “He had to be in the parking lot all night if he followed us. Do you think he filmed at night?”

  “If he did, he only got audio. Not that I’m thrilled about that either.” I twisted my keys and walked to the truck with her. “As soon as we get back to my place, I’ll contact Jay and Sam from the production team. Let them know.”

  “And I should probably call into work.”

  “You’ll hear no argument from me,” I said, thinking of all the things I’d like to do with her for the next several hours since I’d also be calling in.

  She chuckled with a head shake. After packing up everything from the bed into the back seat, we hopped into the truck. I handed over my charger.

  “You gonna tell me who you stopped to talk to over by the lodge?” she asked, biting her bottom lip as I pulled out of the parking area.

  I sucked some air between my teeth. “So there were writers staying there. Well, a few were outside with their laptops.”

  A loud, quick fit of laughter burst from her. “I know this situation isn’t funny. I was furious about that kid stealing our stuff. But I have to admit, watching you running naked …” More broken giggles. “Your ass was glowing in the morning sunlight. That’s something I will never forget. Going right into my laugh bank.” She tapped a finger to her temple.

  “I think you mean spank bank.”

  “Nope.” She shook her head then slowly started to nod. “Okay, well, maybe it’ll be filed there too.”

  22

  ______________

  Caleb

  -then-

  The urge to bust through Mer’s door hit me like all the other times I’d done it. Then I heard Celia’s happy voice somewhere on the other side, and I surprisingly refrained. My heart kicked into a heavy pace all the same, the cause no longer about the thrill but about her, anticipating the moment my eyes could take her in, my arms could wrap around her. It had been the same throughout the week, stolen moments at school or meeting after either or both of us had finished work.

  Even though it had been an awesome week, those times still hadn’t been nearly enough. I’d wanted so much more. Hours instead of moments. Entire days attached to those nighttime goodbyes. With summer approaching, the possibility of it happening was high, aside from my football camp and her upcoming visit to her grandparents. We’d have to spend as much time as we could before she left for State College in the fall. At least she would be close enough for weekend trips after that.

  I tapped my knuckles on the door. “You guys decent?”

  “Yeah,” Mer answered.

  With a breath, I pushed the door open, eager to see what was on the other side. Mer stood by her closet mirror in a blood red dress, curling the ends of her loose blond hair. Her eyes met mine in the reflection. “You look great, Mer.” Unable to wait another second, I opened the door the rest of the way, scanning the opposite side of the room as I continued to speak. “Jacob might drop dead as soon as he sees—” Suddenly, all thought was gone.

  Celia spun around in front of Mer’s desk, and things went all slow motion for me. Her hair was pulled up in the back with wavy strands purposely escaping the hold. A few fell down at the edges of her face, which was decorated with a faint coating of makeup. Light green colored her lids, brightening the green rims of her big hazel eyes. Her top teeth bit her pink-stained pouty lower lip, holding down the shy smile pulling at the edges. Thin straps. Bare neck. Tops of her breasts peeking out above a straight, floor-length white dress with watercolor splatters of spring. Yellow. Pink. Green. Blue.

  “Damn.” I exhaled then swallowed thickly, my throat having dried up like a desert.

  “She looks great, right?” Mer asked, rushing over to Celia before I could even take a step.

  “Yeah, wow. Wow, Celia.” I finally moved to her and stopped short, looking down at all the sawdust all over me. “I, uh …” Fuck. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her, but she was too perfect. I didn’t want to mess her up. “You look so incredible.”

  “Thank you,” she said as Mer released her and moved back to finishing her hair.

  “I … have something for you. It’s in my room. You have a sec?”

  “Yeah,” she said and followed behind me.

  “The limo’s here,” Mer called after us. “Pictures out front in a minute!”

  As soon as we stepped into my room, she said, “I’m so sorry that I couldn’t get you a ticket this week. With the cutoff for the dinner seating and not finding any extras—”

  “Stop apologizing for that. Besides, I would have had a helluva time finding a tux from the rental place in town at the last minute.”

  “Still,” she said as I moved over to my desk. “I would rather you go, even if it meant wearing a baby blue suit from the seventies, ruffled shirt and all.”

  “Ha! I might have rocked it.” I grabbed what I was looking for a
nd turned to her.

  Her eyes locked on the lifelike wooden daisy as I held it up by the stem and crossed the room. “I kinda messed up a couple petals with the chisel but was able to clean a good amount with the Dremel when I was sanding and detailing.”

  “You made this for me?” She pinched the stem to take hold.

  “Yeah. You like it?”

  “Do I like it? Psshhh.” She ran a finger gingerly over the petals then cut her eyes to me. “It’s so pretty. Thank you.” Holding it out to the side, she leaned in close.

  “No, I don’t want to get you dirty—”

  “Stop. I don’t care if my dress gets sawdust on it. You better kiss me right now.”

  Okay then. I grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her body to mine while she lifted her arms onto my shoulders. She smelled so good. Flowery, fitting for her dress.

  It still all felt unreal, and that was probably why I was so tentative at times, unsure of us, afraid to step over the line. From the moment we had our first kiss at the fair and all the others through the week, I kept thinking she was going to change her mind, decide I wasn’t for her after all. But it wasn’t the case right now. She was holding on to me tightly, fingers in my hair, palming the back of my head as I tasted her sweet lips, licked inside her delicious mouth. My mind thought of so many other things I wanted to do, all the places I wanted to kiss and lick along her body.

  She pulled away enough to look into my eyes. “You’re still meeting us at the fair, right?”

  “I’ll be there. I’m sorry we didn’t do that Ferris wheel kiss last week. I didn’t even think about it.”

  “We were both a little preoccupied,” she admitted with a smile. “This is the last weekend to do it there, though. And Mer was right that it’ll be fun to go after prom. I almost want to skip this and go do that with you.”

  “No, don’t do that. You’ll have a great time. It’s prom. And maybe someone will spike the punch.”

  “I think that only happens in old movies,” she said with a laugh, dipping her face against my chest.

  “You’re probably right. I’m sure someone will have drinks of the fun variety after.”

  “Well, I’ll stay with Mer and Jacob since they are my ride to the fair, but after you get there and we do the Ferris wheel … I don’t want to stick around.”

  “No? I thought you said it would be fun?”

  “I’d rather spend more time alone with you, maybe mark off another thing on my list.”

  Oh. That message went straight from my ears to my dick. Her big eyes looked up at me with a sexy stare, and I had to inhale deeply to calm myself. “I definitely, one hundred percent want that too. But I think my parents will be home. No privacy.” And The Beast was not an option. She deserved so much more than an old, cramped truck cab.

  “My mom’s out on her own date tonight. She won’t be home.”

  “You have it all figured out, don’t you?” I joked, trying to hide the fact that those words had obliterated my control. I was completely hard, and I was positive she felt it.

  “I hope I do,” she whispered before pulling my face down for another kiss.

  “Yo!” Mer’s voice cut through our connection, separating us. It wasn’t like we’d hid what was happening from her, but we hadn’t exactly been making out in front of her all week either. “Picture time.”

  “Great,” Celia said, holding the wooden daisy close to her chest. “You coming down too?”

  Mer answered, “Actually, I need to talk to Caleb a second.”

  “Oh! I’ll meet you guys down there then,” Celia said, tapping the daisy petals against her lips with a smile then walking out my door.

  My eyes were still focused there when Mer rounded on me. Shaking her head, she said, “I thought I’d be fine with you two after this week, but you cannot do this to her.”

  “Do what to her? Date her? Pretty sure that’s our business, not yours,” I replied, irritation killing my good mood. I’d expected a little push back or warning flags from her about dating her best friend, but I hadn’t expected a full-on stop sign slammed into my grill.

  “You’re right. Sure.” She crossed her arms and stared at me pointedly. “But you seriously need to think about this, Caleb. She considered bailing out of prom tonight for you. Did she mention that?”

  “Yeah, so what? We haven’t had a bunch of time to spend together. She wanted to have more.”

  “Right. That’s exactly it. I know where this is going. You’ve known her for a long time too, but you don’t know her as well as I do. You will be her cage, Caleb.”

  “Cage? What the fuck are you talking about, Mer?” Anger replaced irritation in the span of a second.

  “Come on, think about it. She’s so reserved. You know this. If you get serious, there will be more skips down the road. Many more. Thank God State College is far enough away that she can’t commute daily. She has to move out and stay in the dorms. With that comes experiences, you know? She deserves all of those. She needs to get out of here to live, to see more things, to do more things.”

  “She’s going to do that. What are you freaking out about?”

  “She won’t if you’re with her. You’ll be here for your senior year. And if you’re here, this is where she’ll want to be, every weekend and any other chance she can get. She’ll skip out on more things, more chances, more opportunities because she’ll choose you over that. She’ll choose the comfort of you, the time with you.”

  I felt as if she’d run me over.

  “You know I’m right. I love her too much to see that happen. So don’t do this to her, okay? I’m begging you.”

  “Shouldn’t she be the one who makes this choice?” I asked, still wrecked by her words. I knew it was true. “Maybe I can talk to her about it. Maybe she won’t need to come back here all the time.”

  “She will, and you know it. I won’t be around. You’ll be her closest friend and more if you decide to stay with her. She won’t be interested in anything the campus has to offer because she will be wrapped up in you. If it’s meant to work later, it will. But give her a chance to do something else. Give her that. She’ll never get another shot at those experiences.”

  “I, uh …” I scrubbed my face with my hands, wanting to erase everything she said. But there was no chance at that. “We can have the summer. I don’t think I can do this to her.”

  “And you think it’ll be easier after you’ve spent more time together? It’s been about a week.” She drew in a deep breath and let it out with a long sigh. “I don’t want her hurt either, but you need to realize that it’s the best decision for her and for you. You have your own senior year to worry about too, your own shit to deal with. So, please … She needs that push now, Caleb. Like tonight after prom, now. You get too close and there’s no going back.”

  “Mer! C’mon!” Celia’s voice called up the stairs, giving me a jolt.

  “I’ll tell her you had to get a shower and that you’ll see her later.”

  Not wanting to draw the conversation out any longer, I nodded then collapsed onto my bed as soon as she walked out.

  I did shower after that, the task barely registering as I thought about what Mer had said. And even though I wanted to direct all my anger at her, to think of it all as bullshit, I knew she was right. And I couldn’t justify being the one to hold Celia back when I wanted nothing more than for her to crack that shell herself and succeed.

  The drive to the fair was also a blur as I debated how to handle it. In the end I knew there was no way I could stand in front of her and break her heart. For that, I was a coward, sure. Just not in the usual asshole way. It was because I had no chance of saying the words if I were to look into her eyes. I had wanted her for so long. To hold her. To taste her. To be around her as often as possible. To make her crazy as much as she’d made me insane by simply existing. I fucking loved her. It felt like I had for ages. So if I had to stand in front of her and look into those gorgeous eyes, my resolve would disappe
ar.

  The fair was a sea of dresses and tuxes. Jewelry sparkled under the twinkle of lights and so did the eyes of every couple I passed, my stomach twisting and knotting at the sight. That had been us the previous weekend. Holding hands. Kissing. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I spotted her near the Ferris wheel, standing beside Mer and Jacob, ready to get in line. She’d pulled her hair down entirely and was pressing the petals of the daisy I’d made her to her lips absently, as if she’d been holding it there all night. She probably had.

  After tugging my phone out, I swiped the screen without checking the notification. It wouldn’t have been anyone else.

  Tarsier O.O: Where R U?

  I watched her look around, her eyes searching. Using the side of the concession to hide, I texted back.

  Me: I’m sorry. I can’t come.

  Tarsier O.O: What’s wrong? Are you ok?

  Me: Yeah. But I can’t do this. We can’t do this.

  Tarsier O.O: Do what, Caleb? The fair?

  Me: Us. It’s not going to work. I thought it would, but I was wrong.

  I looked up after I hit send and watched as she covered her mouth with the hand that held the daisy. I could almost hear her sob from fifty yards away and through all the moving bodies. Mer turned to her, catching her reaction. She put an arm around her. Fuck. I slapped a hand to my chest, my heart beating hard enough to break. It was breaking. I was breaking.

  Tarsier O.O: Is this a joke? It’s not funny, Caleb. Where are you?

  Tarsier O.O: Caleb?

  Tarsier O.O: Please, come talk to me. We don’t have to stay at the fair. Please come get me so we can talk.

  Me: I can’t. I’m sorry.

  Her shoulders slumped forward and her face dropped, her hands immediately there to hide the tears she was crying. I choked on a sob of my own, unable to stop it. Dammit. Goddammit. Mer was talking in her ear, Jacob listening beside them and scanning the crowd. Celia shook her head and ducked into the line, escaping the few steps to be alone. But instead of standing still, she threw herself into the next bucket. Mer and Jacob didn’t follow. They moved away from the line as Celia continued to go up higher and higher when more people got on. When she stopped at the top, I could barely see her head. Maybe the hurt would be over for her soon, I hoped. After all, she’d only recently chosen me. I’d chosen her long before, so I knew I was fucked.

 

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