Senior Year Bucket List

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Senior Year Bucket List Page 19

by Miller, J. M.


  The only fight I had left was the one to get her back.

  27

  ______________

  Celia

  -now-

  “You beat us here,” Nadine said, sliding into the booth beside me and wrapping me into her arms with a squishy booby hug. She eyed the half-empty margarita. “How many of those have you had?”

  “This is the second,” I admitted with a grin.

  “Hey, girl,” Mina, Deandra, and Julie said, or at least a variation of the same greeting as they slid into the booth across from us.

  “Hi,” I replied, then took a large gulp of my ’rita.

  Their eyes stayed on me the entire time, watching, and their mouths remained closed. Eerie.

  “Okay, what’s with the eyes? I’ve been getting enough of that from the bartender. And maybe a few other people. I don’t want my besties being creepy too. Speaking of,” I added when the waiter came strutting over to our favorite bar section table.

  “Ladies. What are we having tonight?”

  “Four more margaritas,” Julie said without even looking up at him.

  “Five,” I corrected, and Nadine elbowed my arm. “What? I Ubered here.”

  “Okay, you need to spill,” Julie urged while Mina glanced around, running her fingers through her hair, hoping to catch some eyes. I knew I could count on her to make the hunt for dick more important than what was happening in my life. The other three … not so much.

  “About what?”

  “Don’t play,” Julie replied with an exaggerated sigh. “We saw—”

  “Nope, we’re not starting there,” Nadine cut in, halting Julie’s conversation direction. “We’re starting with work. Did you get a phone call? Because I heard you were getting one.”

  “Yeah,” Deandra added, propping her elbows onto the table and resting her chin on her hands. “It was obvious that Jerry had been thoroughly worked upstairs because he was like a limp noodle all day. It was fantastic.”

  The others nodded.

  “Yeah, I got a call.”

  Nadine lifted her brows. “I know you aren’t holding out right now.”

  “Fine.” I adjusted my ass in the indent I’d created in the booth cushion, as if delaying my words would help me come up with an answer I hadn’t come up with all day. “They said that they believed in second chances. That I was an important employee. And that they hoped I would consider their offer.”

  “What did they offer?” Nadine asked.

  “They offered me an underwriting clerk position with a dollar raise and an opportunity for courses in the future should I want to progress further, go for my license.”

  “Attagirl! They better give you to me,” Nadine said. “I assess the most clients and could use the help.”

  “That’s amazing,” Mina chimed in, genuinely looking at me for longer than a second. “The test is hard, though. And the studying is like—”

  “Really?” Nadine said to her, tilting her head. “Let’s not worry about all that nonsense yet. Plus, Celia is smart. She’ll pass that on her first try. Not like some bitches I know.”

  Mina scoffed, and the others laughed. I tipped back drink number two to finish it off, which didn’t go unnoticed.

  “Something’s still up,” Nadine said, her tone quieting.

  “I’m not sure anymore, ya know?” The waiter came back with the new drinks and I started in on mine, aiming to keep the hefty buzz I was rocking.

  “It took the firing to really kick you in your ass, huh?” Julie said with a nod before taking a huge gulp of her drink.

  “That and …”

  “Caleb,” Nadine finished.

  “It’s just … he said some stuff about jobs that …”

  “Oh, girl, we know,” Deandra said, her motherly eyes blinking at me.

  “What? Oh, right.” The video. “Fuck my life.”

  “So, yes, we agree. The offer is nice, but will you be happy?”

  “I don’t know anymore. I have to think about it.”

  “You also need to think about Caleb,” Nadine added, licking a section of salt from her glass before taking the first sip.

  “Are we finally talking about him?” Julie said with a big grin. “Goodie. Ooh, Celia. He is even more handsome in person. It’s not even everything that was going on in that video, but the fact that he showed up today to try and get your job back. Not that he helped. They’d already handed Jerry his ass first thing in the a.m.”

  “He did show up?” I asked, sinking into the booth a little. “He left a message, but I didn’t think he’d …”

  “Follow through?” Nadine asked sharply. “That boy fucking loves you, girl. If you can’t see how serious he is, then you are blind, blind, blind.”

  “I see it, I do. I’m so upset about the video. He never told me that it wasn’t part of Mer’s request. She only wanted us to do the list. There was nothing about filming it and posting it to her channel.”

  “But wasn’t he doing it for her followers, for them to have some closure too? That’s what you explained before.” Nadine’s voice was softer, thoughtful.

  “Yes, that’s true. I … I don’t know what to think.”

  “There’s nothing to think. You really should watch the video,” she replied as if it were the end-all.

  “She can’t now,” Julie said. “I checked before leaving work. It was removed.”

  “Oh, thank God,” I murmured, closing my eyes. “They were able to get it down.” I took another drink, celebrating that relief.

  “Not until after about a hundred thousand views,” Julie added.

  After a gasp, my lungs refused to inhale the margarita in my mouth, kicking me into a choking fit and spraying all remaining liquid across the table.

  “Celia! Shit!” Mina screeched, wiping her face down with a napkin while the others threw more onto the table.

  “I’m sorry, but what?” The words rushed out in a tipsy mumble.

  “Yeah, I told you,” Nadine said. “I doubt it was only Merilyn’s followers hooked on that video. And I’m certain that everyone, including us, will be anxiously awaiting the next one with all the edits, eager to see the rest of the tasks you need to complete, places to visit with your touching tributes, and of course to witness the incredible love story.”

  “Love story?” I squeaked as I wiped my chin.

  “That’s why it blew up,” Deandra said with a nod. “What you two have … It was fantastic to watch.”

  “Yes,” Nadine agreed. “So even though you need to work through your own shit, you also need to accept the fact that he is perfect for you.”

  “And this is coming from you, Ms. Anti-Love?” I asked, shooting her a side-eye.

  “I’m not anti-love. I’m anti-bullshit. There’s a huge difference. And he is no bullshit. He neglected to tell you something. He told you he didn’t mean to deceive you. Do you believe him?”

  I bit my lips together thinking of the fight I’d had with Caleb, considering all that we had done. “Yes. I think I do.”

  “Well, then, your butt needs to tell him. Preferably sooner than later.”

  “I … I need some time.”

  “You have about three days because Friday night you will be at that fair and on that Ferris wheel, even if I need to pump you full of margaritas first.”

  “How do I know if—”

  “He’ll be there,” she said then took a sip of her drink with a smile still on her lips.

  28

  ______________

  Caleb

  -now-

  The fair was packed with cars and bodies. I almost wanted to bail, call Celia and postpone. When we’d discussed coming on opening night, I hadn’t thought much about how crowded it would be. At that point, our focus was completing the tasks. But I should have known. Springtime fun. The end of school nearing for every district in the area. Prom season. It all brought back so many memories. Most of them good. Though as I looked across the fair at the Ferris wheel, its carts spinn
ing around, reflecting the rays of the setting sun, I was hit with the one that haunted me the most. The biggest fucking regret of my life.

  My calls and texts to Celia through the week remained unanswered, much like the calls and texts she’d made to me years before. I hated the thought of her choosing to move on. And while I flat out refused to give up on the idea of us after our time together, I also decided not to push her. I wouldn’t become a psycho, even though I understood how easily it could happen for her. The last text I’d sent was the day before, letting her know my plans for tonight, that I’d continue the tasks for Mer as promised. I could only hope she’d show too.

  Strapping the ticket band to my wrist and eyeing the setting sun, I realized I’d never mentioned a specific time. But if she hadn’t arrived already, I’d gladly wait all night.

  I trekked toward the Ferris wheel. No sense waiting anywhere else. Keeping Mer’s urn clutched like a football in my arm, holding a single daisy in my other hand, with the notebook tucked in my back pocket and the GoPro—with a new memory card—stashed inside the front, I navigated around the carousel and kiddie rides, past the haunted mansion, and along the side row of game booths. The Ferris wheel stood at the far end of the lot as it had most years. Lights were already on, seeming to grow brighter as the sun dipped farther behind the treetops in the distance. A mix of rock and rap blared from the speakers of other rides while melodic accordion notes sounded from the carnival games. The smell of funnel cake and burgers would ordinarily have my stomach begging for sustenance, but tonight it only twisted my insides that much more.

  The memory of Celia’s face as she rode to the top alone flashed to mind as I stopped in the empty area in front and stared up at the wheel. Knowing it was possible I’d face the same fate tonight hurt beyond words. At least I knew what was coming, though. Celia hadn’t known then. My heart felt as if it was breaking all over again. If anything, the situation seemed the perfect punishment for my past actions and choices, even if I’d already suffered. Karma, right? What goes around …

  “Hey, look. It’s him,” a female voice yelled somewhere close.

  “Oh my God, it is!” another person replied, and a string of giggles followed.

  Preparing to post myself at the base of the wheel to wait, I glanced around to choose the best spot. Only, I was met with several stares from beside the ride’s portable fence line. Turning my upper body, I checked behind me for the source of their attention, sure there was another person there. Nope.

  “Caleb!” someone called out, and I twisted my head, seeking out a voice that wasn’t Celia’s but could’ve been someone else I knew. And that was another nope. The skinny middle school girl with braces smiled big and waved at me. I wracked my brain for a moment, wondering who her parents were, coming up short.

  “Caleb, where’s Celia?” another voice shouted.

  That was when it all clicked. The video had been down for days, but Sam and Jay said it had made one helluva splash before it disappeared. Thousands. Like over a hundred thousand. In the back of my mind, I’d known about it, even thought about the impact of it during the week. What I hadn’t considered, though, was other people showing up here, specifically because of the video, in order to see us.

  “Shit,” I murmured, keeping my face as neutral as possible. My eyes jumped all over, seeking an escape and finding no real options. I needed to stay and wait, but I wasn’t exactly in the mood for this attention. It was weird.

  More people seemed to gather, hearing my name, chatting with the others.

  I hurried into the line, pressing a small smile for those who recognized me. Luckily, none had been daring enough to get close.

  “Oh my gosh. And that’s the urn. I can’t believe we’re seeing this. Record it. Record it. And look, he has a daisy,” another person said, moving up behind me.

  Annnd I’d thought too soon.

  From the corner of my eye, I caught one posing with her back to me, holding up her phone to snap a selfie.

  As the ride attendant loaded the next people in line, the last ones in front of me turned to stare. They were an older couple, blinking and clueless to what the growing commotion behind me was about. I let out a sigh. Small favors.

  “The news is here,” the middle school girl said.

  What?

  As the couple ahead of me made their way into the open bucket, I looked over my shoulder, watching in horror as a news reporter stalked toward the Ferris wheel with a wireless mic labeled Channel 2 in hand. A dude mostly hidden by a bulky camera trailed her closely.

  I rushed up on the ride attendant, who was settling back behind his podium, pushing control buttons to spin the wheel.

  “You gotta wait, man,” he said, pointing a grease-stained finger to the streak of spray paint at the front of the fence line.

  “Right. But I’m next, and I really need to get on that thing. Like right now. And stay on it.” I glanced back over my shoulder right as the news chick spotted me. Her eyes bugged out, and she spun to the cameraman, her coiffed hair barely moving.

  “Shit.” I turned to the guy again, balancing everything in one arm as I wrenched my billfold out of my pocket. “I’m sure you don’t take tips, but—”

  “Oh, no, I definitely take tips.”

  “Great. I’ll give you fifty right now if you put me on and leave me on for as long as I want. I’m waiting for someone. Another hundred comes to you when I’m done.”

  “You got it,” he said, snatching the bills from me without hesitation.

  “You gotta keep them back too. Don’t let them too close to this area, all right?” I jerked my head over my shoulder to indicate the group of people following the news chick.

  “Sure thing,” he agreed as the bucket stopped.

  I gritted my teeth, the seconds ticking by in my head as a set of kids crawled out of the seat, stumbling around in slow motion. Once they were clear, I hopped in that fucker faster than The Flash. Dude didn’t even check the bar. He cranked the controls right up, taking me away from the crazy shit below, and I let out a relieved sigh.

  “Caleb! Caleb Samuels,” a voice called up. I glanced over the side, and the news chick waved, the camera behind her pointing up at me. “Are you here with Celia?”

  More people stopped and gathered. I could almost see the change in the crowd as word spread. Wild.

  After a while, I spaced out, watching the sun disappear completely, the lights flashing around me. I was grateful for the attendant, skipping my bucket over and over, much to the news crew and everyone else’s dismay.

  I kept checking the people. Some stayed, some left, the interest fading. And although I was hoping Celia would show, I almost wished it would be even later so she wasn’t harassed by the circus below.

  “Caleb!” a voice called out. Not Celia’s. I was tempted to ignore it, but it sounded familiar. I peered over the edge and immediately saw a head of coiled braids and a wide, friendly smile shining under the colorful lights of the wheel.

  When my bucket came around again, I yelled for the attendant to let Nadine closer. He stopped the ride and continued to play guard after he let her pass.

  “Hey, there,” she said, holding out a fountain drink and looking around at the people staring at us. “Thought you might be a bit thirsty. This guy mentioned that you’ve been spinning a while.”

  “Thanks,” I replied, grabbing the drink and taking a sip.

  “No drinks on the ride, man,” the attendant said without turning.

  Nadine scrunched her lips, threw a glare over her shoulder at him, then took the cup back from me.

  “Do you know if she’s coming?” I didn’t want to be rude, but Celia was my only interest.

  She shook her head. “I thought, maybe. But I haven’t talked to her since Tuesday night.”

  “Okay. That’s okay.”

  “Listen,” she said as the attendant pushed the button again. She shot him another glare, and he shrugged. “We’re staying here. Holler at me if you nee
d something, honey.” She pointed over to the side where the other women from Celia’s work were standing, several kids running around them, a few boyfriends or husbands with arms full of snacks and stuffed toys.

  “Yeah, I will. Thank you.”

  Numbness set in after that and a chill ran through me as the possibility of her not showing settled in, my body no longer warm with anticipation or hope. Maybe it was the end after all. I’d gotten just enough time with her to know how badly I’d love her for the rest of my life and never be able to have her again.

  I wiped a hand down my face as the bucket moved upward, perching me at the top while another was reloading below. All I could do was tip my head back and look at the stars, letting the misery begin to take over as my mind drifted to the night at the quarry when I’d stared at the same stars with Celia in my arms.

  A few whistles cut through the music and chatter below. And then cheers followed. The games. Someone was getting lucky, probably even more so later. I smiled sadly. When the cheers only grew louder, my mind flipped a switch and my heart began to pound.

  “Celia!” The cheers blended into her name, voices echoing in a happy chorus that reached inside my body and set it on fire.

  I popped the latch on the lap bar and stood up, scanning the crowd, seeing Nadine cutting a path through a mass of bodies.

  When Celia’s head tipped back, those big fucking eyes staring right up at me and locking on, I inhaled a huge breath, ignoring the sting in my sinuses as emotion kicked me harder than a shot to the nuts, nearly bringing the tears.

  She came.

  She smiled gorgeously and followed Nadine, who hip checked the news reporter.

  I pushed those emotions back down, knowing that she could have shown up for Mer, to honor the request. And that was still a good thing. At least she came. I calmed myself with another breath and continued to watch her walk closer as my bucket started to move downward.

  “Sit down, or I’m booting you and keeping your cash,” the attendant called up to me.

 

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