The Mad Scientists of New Jersey (Volume 1)

by Chris Sorensen

  “I don’t even wanna ask,” Eddie said, shaking his head.

  He unrolled the belt on the workbench. What was it? What did it do? And why was Mesmer so keen to give it to him? The odd man had told him he’d have to figure it out on his own, but why? So many questions, so few answers.

  Take it one step at a time. First, he examined the belt itself. He had initially thought the strap was made up of a single piece of leather, but when he looked closer, he saw that it was actually two pieces stitched together. He also noticed that there was something stitched up inside.

  He ran the length of the belt between his fingers. He could feel hidden wires running from one of the packs to the next. He looked at the packs. They were made of a tough plastic, like something an old radio might be made of. The word Bakelite flashed into his head along with the knowledge that yes, the packs were indeed made of this antique material.

  Set in the top of each of the packs was a small lens not unlike the lens of a flashlight.

  And that was it.

  “Next step,” he said to himself as he cinched the belt around his waist. He stood there wondering what to do next. The first thing that came to mind was that it looked like a superhero’s utility belt — something Captain Panda or Dr. Mosquito from TV would wear.

  Eddie bent his knees. “Up we go!” he shouted and leapt into the air.

  He only made it about four inches off the ground. “Well, it was worth a try,” he said to Cooper, who had fallen asleep while Reggie scratched his ears.

  Maybe it was some sort of protective gear. Maybe it created a force field that would block bullets, rockets, whatever anyone might throw at him.

  Eddie picked up a heavy roll of duct tape and tossed it in the air. “Force field on!” It hit him in the head with a thunk and he winced.

  Then he burped — a long, liquid belch. Ugh! Egg salad! Disgusting! He needed to clear his mouth. His mom kept a mini fridge next to her booth filled with water and juice to keep her going while she was working. He threw open the door. Empty.

  The overpowering taste of slimy egg and mustard filled his mouth. How could people eat the stuff? And on purpose? He wished he had a slice of Pudge’s father’s pizza. Mmm. Piled high with cheese, the sauce still scalding hot from the oven, the crust...

  A light turned on behind one of the lenses in one of the packs on the belt. It shone pale orange. What in the world?

  Eddie watched the light as it stuttered, flickered and then went out. What had turned it on, he wondered? Surely it wasn’t his eggy burp? That would be more likely to kill a mad sciency device than bring it to life.

  What had he been doing when it turned on? He’d been thinking about the pizza, thinking about the cheese and the sauce and the...

  The light clicked back on.

  It was something about the pizza. What was so special about the pizza. Well, what wasn’t special about it? It was the best pizza he’d ever had. The only thing that had gotten in the way of his enjoying that slice completely had been the oddly sweet scent of pine air freshener that Roxie used in place of perfume.

  A second light turned on. Pale green.

  Memories! This belt was picking up on his memories. And not just any memories, one specific memory.

  He closed his eyes and replayed that day in Pop’s Pizzeria through his head. He had been sitting with Pudge and Roxie while Pop had been serving the pizza. He remembered that Pop had a smear of pizza sauce right across his apron.

  A blue light clicked on. Sight. The image of that sauce stain. How many senses were there? Eddie tried to think but his mind was racing. Taste: check. Smell: check. Sight: check. What else, what else?

  Touch.

  A vivid memory of Roxie bumping against him, sending tingles down his arm set off the next pack. Purple.

  There was one more, he knew it. Five senses, five packs. What would happen when light number five went off?

  Cooper woke up just then to find Reggie scratching his belly. The dog jumped up and started barking at the frog, but now in a friendly way. The two new pals started barking and croaking and yapping and yipping in circles around Eddie.

  “Be quiet, you two! I can’t hear myself think!”

  That was it. Sound.

  The phones. The phones at Pop’s were ringing off the hook because it was the start of the dinner rush.

  The fifth light turned on. Yellow.

  His whole body started to vibrate. The room began to spin. Either that or Eddie’s brain did. Whichever was true, he was about to lose his lunch.

  Just as his gorge began to rise there was a bang. The basement was gone. Instead, he found himself in the booth of Pop’s Pizzeria sitting across from Roxie in her ratty sweater, her mouth agape.

  He was also sitting across from himself.

  Roxie squeaked. His other self stared in slack-jawed disbelief. Eddie was certain that the look on his own face was a mirror image.

  “Who...?” the other Eddie asked.

  Roxie picked up a plastic fork and wielded it like a weapon. “What are you? A clone? A robot? An evil twin?”

  Eddie shook his head. “I’m just me. Eddie.”

  Other Eddie glared at him. “What are you doing with my face?”

  “I could ask you the same thing,” Eddie countered.

  Eddie looked toward the kitchen. Pudge was busy answering the phone for his father who was even busier spreading mozzarella over half a dozen pizzas.

  This was yesterday just after the incident with the black hole and the toupee and... and... Eddie could hardly believe it. The belt! Somehow, it had sent him back in time.

  Roxie pinched his arm. “Ouch!” he squealed. “Why’d you do that?”

  Roxie turned to the other Eddie. “He feels real.”

  “That’s because I am real,” Eddie said. He caught his other self burning holes in him with his eyes. “I’m you. I’m just one day older, that’s all. I’ve traveled twenty-some hours back in time.”

  “Why?” the other Eddie asked.

  “Huh?”

  Other Eddie shook his head. “If you’re me and you’ve managed to travel across time and space...”

  “Not space, just time,” Eddie said.

  “Whatever!” the other Eddie fumed. “If, by some miracle, you’ve come here from the future, then you must have a pretty big reason for doing so.”

  Eddie gulped. A reason? Nope. He’d managed it mostly by accident. Now that he thought about it, he had no clue how he was going to get back. Was he doomed to forever be a day behind in a world where another version of himself would be forever throwing him nasty looks?

  Eddie felt a buzzing at his waist and looked down at the belt. The orange light was blinking. Now, the red was blinking too. His whole body vibrated again. If that tingling sensation was any indication, this was going to be a very short trip.

  “Well?” the other Eddie pressed.

  “I came back because... because...” He reached out, grabbed the slice of pizza out of other Eddie’s hand. “Because I hate egg salad sandwiches!”

  And bang! He was back in his basement as if nothing had happened. Cooper looked up at him, annoyed at being awakened. Reggie rej-jipped a hello.

  “Thank goodness I didn’t fly right by the present and go shooting off into the future,” Eddie thought.

  He looked down. He still had the slice of cheese pizza gripped in his hand. Famished, Eddie wolfed down the slice, tossing the crust to a grateful Cooper.

  Eddie suddenly realized what a missed opportunity his trip to the past had been. Of course! He had traveled back to the time before he and his friends had taken their midnight cruise, before they had landed on the island. Before he had met Mesmer. If he were to go back to the pizza parlor, he could warn himself not to visit the island. He could avoid meeting that crazy scientist and then maybe, just maybe, his
life would go back to normal.

  But do you really want that?

  The thought surprised him. What surprised him even more was the answer. No. Going back to normal would mean giving something up, something Mesmer had told him that fellow Sly had stolen from him.

  My birthright. He was the last of a long line of Mad Scientists, and even though his brain struggled to convince him otherwise, he knew it was true.

  Reggie’s head suddenly spun completely around. Once, twice. His yellow eyes flashed, he opened his mouth and an old fashioned telephone ring echoed from his throat. This was too much for Cooper, who got up and quickly disappeared upstairs.

  Eddie picked the metal frog up, shook him and said, “Hello?”

  “Hellooo!” came Mesmer’s voice from Reggie’s mouth, though he sounded tinny and distant. “Can you hear me? Hellooo?”

  “I can hear you, I can hear you.” Eddie wondered if talking to Mesmer was a violation of his mother’s insistence that he only use the phone for emergencies. But his wasn’t a phone — it was a frog. Besides, he’d consider jumping back and forth in time an emergency any day. “How are you calling me?”

  “Oh, Reggie’s full of tricks and surprises. He’s also full of a mad dose of technology. Did I mention that I programed him to be able to sing every last one of Mozart’s operas? Would you like to hear...”

  “No!” said Eddie. “What I would like are some answers.”

  There was some static on the line, and Reggie wriggled in his hands. Then Mesmer’s voice was back, clearer this time. “I’m back, I’m back. Looks like I’ve got to bump his bandwidth. Anywho, I see that you’ve already made your first jump. Good for you! I knew you’d figure it out. Eventually.”

  “How do you know I... jumped?”

  “Oh, I have my ways,” Mesmer said, mysteriously. “You left a little ripple when you went – a little eddy in the waters of time. Ha! You made an eddy, Eddie!”

  Eddie groaned. Was it even worth trying to get any answers out of the man? “How can a person travel through time? It doesn’t make any sense!”

  “Sense is exactly right, as you no doubt discovered. The belt keys into a moment in the past, into a moment in your past, directed by your five senses.”

  “My past? But what if I wanted to travel back to the Wild West or to ancient Greece?” Eddie asked.

  “You can’t,” the voice inside the frog’s mouth said. “The device you’re wearing can only take you to your own timeline. If you weren’t there to smell, taste, see, touch or hear it, you’re out of luck.”

  Reggie’s head spun around once and the static returned. Mesmer was still talking, but his voice sounded wobbly and distorted. “You’re breaking up and I still have questions!” Eddie called down the frog’s throat. “I want to know what that thing was that broke down your door! I want to know...!”

  “Crackle-crackle... meet... crackle... bring your friends... zzz... I’ll... zzzt- crackle... answers. Four o’clock at... crrrr... bowling alley. And don’t forget to...”

  The line went dead. Reggie woke as if from a daze. “Rej...?” Eddie set him back down on the cluttered workbench.

  Four o’clock. Bowling alley. Friends. It must be about two now. Apparently, Mesmer wanted to meet him at the bowling alley with Roxie and Pudge. But why? So they could form a bowling league?

  And just how was he supposed to get in touch with them with his mother’s ban on personal phone calls looming over him?

  “Instead of calling, why don’t I slip back in time and tell them to meet me at the bowling alley at four?” he thought. “It couldn’t hurt to practice this time traveling stuff.”

  He started thinking about pizza again, then stopped. He didn’t have to go back as far as their after school visit to the pizzeria. No, he needed to zip back to the last time that he, Roxie and Pudge had all been together. When exactly was that?

  The last time he saw Pudge, he was getting into the back of the police cruiser. Pudge was trying not to cry, and Roxie was pouting angrily.

  Eddie kicked his memory into overdrive. He heard the crackle of the police scanner. “10-9, officers on scene.” He saw the flashing red and blue lights. He smelled the funky scent of the backseat of the cruiser, felt the breeze as the officer behind the wheel cracked the window. He tasted... what?

  Darn! He looked down. Only four of the five packs on the belt were lit. Taste. He couldn’t remember. How did he hope to manage the trip back?

  Eddie suddenly recalled a metallic taste that had filled his mouth. He had been so nervous and afraid. The taste must have been the result of all that adrenaline coursing through his system.

  Bang!

  The shift was instantaneous this time. No gradual twirling into the past. He was shot directly into the backseat of that cruiser.

  Of course, he materialized right next to the other Eddie. “You again!” his twin cried.

  Eddie had no time for conversation. He leaned over to the barely open window and shouted, “Roxie! Pudge! Lake Mohawk Lanes, four o’clock tomorrow! Four o’clock tomorrow...!”

  Crack! He was back in the basement.

  He caught a whiff of smoke and looked down at the belt to see all the lights flickering on and off. It started to get warm around his waist. He unbuckled it and let it fall to the ground. The belt gave a small zz-zzt! and was still. Thank goodness. With Eddie’s luck, he could imagine it bursting into flames.

  Two hours. He had two hours before he had to meet Mesmer. Then he’d see if his little trick in the police cruiser had paid off. He’d need to sneak out without his ‘babysitters’ noticing. Getting one over on Abel would be a breeze, but Martha would be another matter.

  A smile spread across his lips as a plan leapt to mind. He looked over at Reggie. Maybe having a head full of new information wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

  ***

  It was around three-thirty when Martha came by Eddie’s bedroom with a plate of carrot sticks and cheese. She stopped at the closed door and knocked. She knew boys his age prized their privacy.

  “Eddie, I’ve got a snack for you,” she cooed.

  “I don’t feel so good. I think I’ll take a nap,” the voice on the other side of the door croaked.

  Martha didn’t like the sound of that. She hoped the boy hadn’t picked up Abel’s cold. “Are you sure?”

  “I don’t feel so good,” the voice repeated.

  “All right,” Martha said. “I’ll check back on you around dinnertime.”

  “I think I’ll take a nap,”

  “That’s fine, Eddie.” Martha turned and headed back down the hall, munching on a carrot stick. Had the sound of the crunch not been so loud inside her head, she might have heard the voice on the other side of the door say, “Rej- jip!”

  ***

  Eddie figured that if he could get to the bowling alley and back before six, he had a good chance of not being missed. Reconfiguring Reggie to respond to anyone who came to his bedroom door had been easy. He’d just repeated the steps he’d seen Abel take when he was trying to get Reggie to say ribbit.

  He steered his bike down Mulberry Street, pedaling up one hill, zipping down the next. There were a few boats out on the lake, but nothing like the number that would be there in a few weeks when the summer season kicked in. Usually at this time of year his mind would be on boating and camping and hanging out with Pudge, but now his head was swimming with thoughts of brain-zapping nuts and time travel belts and crazy scientists.

  He passed the main Lake Mohawk plaza with its gift shops and restaurants. People milled about on the wooden boardwalk overlooking the lake without a care in the world. Wouldn’t that be nice, Eddie thought.

  He negotiated traffic as he reached the busier main street into town. He spied the neon sign for Lake Mohawk Lanes. A smaller sign below boasted, “Fun for all ages.”

  A
s Eddie approached the building, he noticed two things. First, he saw Roxie’s old bike chained to the bike rack. Good, at least she had gotten his message. The second thing he saw was a purple, convertible sports car boasting a vanity license plate.

  LANCE ONE

  Oh, boy. Why had Mesmer chosen the bowling alley for their meeting? He knew what he’d find the minute he stepped foot inside — Lance and the rest of the Mustache Mafia sitting at lane number seven, their regular spot, making fun of the other bowlers.

  He parked his bike next to Roxie’s and lifted his shirt to adjust the belt. At least it had stopped smoking, but it was still warm to the touch.

  Eddie looked up at the bowling alley doors. Here goes nothing, he said to himself.

  The place was packed. It was Twofer Day which meant that you got two games for the price of one. Usually Mrs. Branch, the owner of the alley, was such a cheapskate, but the success of Twofer Day looked like it was something she could get behind.

  Eddie scanned the place. He caught sight of Roxie’s shock of red hair over at lane five. Pudge sat next to her eating an overpriced hotdog.

  Just beyond them lounged Lance and his crew. Eddie gulped, put his head down and started to make his way to his friends.

  “No street shoes!” a harsh voice called out. Eddie turned to see Mrs. Branch glaring at him.

  “Sorry,” Eddie said. After handing over both his sneakers and some cash, he made his way toward his friends in the most uncomfortable pair of bowling shoes he had ever worn.

  Before any of the Mustache Mafia could catch a glimpse of him, Eddie planted himself in a seat next to Roxie with his back to lane seven.

  “They let you out on good behavior?” Pudge asked as he polished off the last of his hotdog.

  Eddie rubbed his feet. “I snuck out. How you guys doing?”

  “I’ve got to work forty extra hours for my dad,” said Pudge. “They like him down at the police station. He’s always donating pies for fundraising events and stuff. But he is not happy with me.”

  Eddie looked to Roxie. “And you?” he asked.

  Roxie was staring down at her feet. “I hate that Mrs. Branch. She tried to make me pay double because I wear two different sized bowling shoes. I threatened to post about it and she backed off.”