Subconsciously, Roni started a slight rhythm with her hips. Alternating between massaging her own throb and grinding into Gina, she felt her body become hotter. She dipped her head down to taste the skin of Gina’s neck and drew the mildly salty flesh into her mouth as she felt hands move higher under her sweater. Roni pictured Gina’s hands as they slowly traveled from her abdomen, over her childhood scar, and towards her breasts. Gina’s fingers were so careful, yet strong. Plain, yet adorned. Adorned with a ring.
A wedding ring.
“Fuck!”
“Really?” Gina panted the word, a bit surprised and hopeful.
“Huh?” Roni asked breathlessly and then she understood what Gina meant. She dismounted Gina’s leg and started to pace in front of the coffee table. “We can’t. You’re married!” she raised her voice in frustration and gesticulated wildly, “Why do you have to be married?”
Gina buried her flushed face in her hands and then moved her eyes up to see Roni’s anxious and lithe form. “I’m only married on paper.”
Roni stopped in front of her. “What the hell does that mean?”
Gina pushed herself off the couch. “It means that—,” she held Roni’s shoulders and led her back to the couch. “You should sit down and have some wine. You’re going to need it. In fact, I need it.” Gina left for the kitchen to pour the wine that had been abandoned on the counter.
Gina came back and handed a generously poured glass to Roni who took it and drank greedily without moving her eyes off of Gina. She shook her head, frustrated with herself. “I can’t believe I kissed you! Allison’s going to kill me.”
Gina’s heart sank. “Is Allison your girlfriend?”
“What? No! She’s my oldest friend and we have grad classes together. She was adamant that I respect your vow. She’s the only person around here who knows I’m gay.”
“No one at your school knows?”
“Are you kidding? Those gossipers? My secret would be out in a week and then I’d have a fleet of parents demanding my resignation. There’d probably be a headline in the district’s newsletter too, Lesbian Teaches Small Children. My family doesn’t know either.” Roni drank again. “How did we start talking about me? You! You’re the one who needs to talk.”
“I don’t know how much to say without betraying confidences.” Gina sat beside her and started to drink from her own glass.
“Can you at least answer a few basic questions? That’d be a nice start.” Roni was trying very hard to keep her patience. “Do you love Early?”
Gina sighed. “As a friend, I do. But I could never love him in a romantic sense—I’m a lesbian.”
“No shit!” Roni succinctly stated and took another drink. “Why would you get married if you’re gay?”
Gina felt the thin ice she was standing on for months start to crack beneath her feet. She drank the rest of her wine in one gulp and psyched herself for full disclosure. She held Roni’s injured hand once more. When Roni didn’t pull away she interpreted it as a positive sign. “I like you a lot, Roni, and while we don’t know each other very well, I feel I know you well enough to trust that you’ll keep what I’m going to tell you a secret.”
Roni simply nodded.
“Okay. My husband, Early, is a bartender at a pretty upscale restaurant. It earns him decent enough money and they even offered him insurance, but the insurance company declined him. On one of the questionnaire forms he admitted to having sex with men and being in contact with those who were HIV positive.”
“Early has HIV?” Roni asked alarmed.
Gina shook her head quickly. “No. He’s never tested positive and he’s always been careful. Plus, he’s in a very committed relationship now. But just admitting all of that caused them to decline his coverage. They claimed he was a high risk.”
“That’s really a shame, but Gina, lots of people don’t have health insurance. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. Can’t he just save up and pay out of pocket when he needs to? Or better yet, go get another job?”
“He’s tried to get better work, but no one looks past the fact that he only has a GED, even though he’s really smart. He’s also diabetic—has been since he was a kid—which is why he needs insurance. Last year, he ended up in the hospital when he collapsed at work due to his blood sugar crashing. He hit his head on glass shelving on the way down. There were tests, stitches, observation, the whole nine yards. The hospital bill was ridiculously expensive and his boss did help out financially even though the restaurant wasn’t at fault. To help with the costs, I moved in with Early and his long-term boyfriend.” Gina peered into Roni’s eyes to see if the connection had been made.
Roni’s green eyes widened with shock. “Steven’s his boyfriend? Your partner? The big, black guy?”
“I’d rather keep him out of this right now.”
“Holy shit!” Shock was such an understatement. “Go on.”
“We thought it made sense if Early and I got married so he would have health insurance. Then to make the situation more realistic, we thought that I should stay out of a relationship for a year to make it seem like a more believable marriage in case there were prying eyes. I know it’s paranoid, but if you think it’s difficult to imagine me married to a man, it’s impossible to think that Early could be married to a woman. Early is pretty flamboyant. He’s also a drag queen.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“I’m not. He’s actually really good.” Gina smiled slightly as she thought of his latest Janet Jackson routine. “But then, I meet you, an absolutely perfect woman. And now I’m caught in a fake, but real, marriage wanting desperately to see you romantically even though you probably hate me.” Gina finally took a breath. “What do you think?”
Roni had one conclusion after that marathon confession. “I need more wine.”
“Roni,” Gina followed her to the kitchen, “please believe me when I say I was trying to be strong and just be your friend.”
Roni poured her wine. “So, kissing hands and speaking Italian in that smoky voice of yours is what you do when you’re just someone’s friend?”
“You think my voice is smoky?” Gina asked earnestly.
“That’s not the point!” Roni leaned back on her counter, deep in thought, and sipped her wine until an epiphany struck her. “Oh my God! That’s fraud! You’re a police officer and you’re committing fraud! Not to mention that conflict you have with this,” she picked the gold cross off of Gina’s chest. Roni started to leave the kitchen, but Gina’s hand on her upper arm stopped her.
“That’s why we have to be so careful, but I know deep down that God understands what I’ve done and has forgiven me.”
“Isn’t marriage supposed to be a sacred vow? Don’t you think God would be angry you made a mockery out of it? Not to mention the gay thing.”
“I didn’t get married by a member of the clergy so it was really just the paperwork part of marriage, not the spiritual part. The gay thing is a struggle with the church, but I know that God made me in His image. I know I sound like a hypocrite.”
Roni stared in amazement at the story being told. “This is unreal.”
“It’s very real, Roni. I wouldn’t have done it if I thought there was another way. I’m trying to do what’s right and help my friend. I understand if you’re mad at me and never want to see me again, but please don’t tell a soul. I would lose my job and possibly go to jail. So would Early.” Gina’s eyes started to glisten. “I couldn’t live with myself if I ruined his and Steven’s lives. They’re the only ones who have ever loved me for who I really am.”
Roni tried to put herself in Gina’s shoes. Was her marriage situation ridiculous? Yes. Was it wrong? It depended on whom you asked. Heterosexual couples occasionally married for green cards, money, societal status, heirs, et cetera, and no one batted an eye.
“I’m so, so sorry if I hurt you, Roni.”
It was because of the pain in Gina’s voice and unshed tears in her eyes, Roni k
new that this was a much more difficult experience for Gina than it was for her. “Come here,” Roni directed softly and wrapped her arms around Gina in an attempt to bring comfort to a friend in need.
Gina felt Roni’s hands rub her back in soothing circles and held on as if Roni was her last life-line. “Does this mean you’re not mad at me?”
Roni pulled back to see Gina’s face. “I want to be angry, but you never lied to me. I knew you were married. If you had lied—” Roni sighed. “I just don’t know how I feel.”
“I don’t expect you to have your feelings worked out right now. To be honest, I don’t know how I feel. I wasn’t expecting to tell you any of this.”
“I just have so many questions. What does your family think?”
Gina’s eyes saddened even more. “They don’t really talk to me anymore. My Mom found my diary when I was sixteen and learned about my crush on Lydia Bergamo. They kicked me out of the house. I pray that one day they’ll come around or at least one of my brothers will. Steven and Early really are the only family I have.”
That broke Roni’s heart. “Gina, I’m so sorry. How about Steven and Early’s families?”
“Early left home when he was fifteen.” She could see Roni searching her face for more information. “Trust me, that’s a story for another time. And Steven’s sister doesn’t know.”
“Steven’s parents?”
Gina shook her head. “His dad was a Marine who died in Vietnam and his mother is senile. His sister is all he really has and she’s very traditional. She doesn’t even like the fact that they allow women to be police officers. I think he’s afraid to lose the one piece of family he has left.” Gina wiped at an escaped tear with the back of her hand. “God, I can’t believe I just told you all of this.”
Roni nodded sympathetically. “You’ve had a lot bottled up for a long time, haven’t you?”
“Yeah...Yeah, I have.” Gina sniffled one last time. “You know, I should probably go now. I’ve given you too much to think about.” She let go of Roni’s hand and moved to put on her leather coat. “I really like you, Roni. And I’m not just talking about being attracted to you. You’re a good person who cares about others and I’m sorry I’ve dragged you into this mess. Once all of this information sinks in and you decide you want nothing to do with me, as a friend or otherwise, I’ll understand. Just please don’t tell anyone.”
“I’ll agree that you have given me too much to think about, but I really like you too. I don’t want you to disappear from my life.” Roni gently grabbed each black leather lapel. “How can I get to know you better without jeopardizing your pact?”
“You mean?” Gina asked hopefully.
“Yeah. I’m pretty good at being sneaky myself.”
Gina spoke with an enormous smile, “Then would you like to do breakfast and rent a movie Saturday morning? Unfortunately, my hours are the complete opposite of yours so traditional weekend dates are out.”
“Tradition is overrated anyway.” Roni smiled and gave a playful tug to her lapels before leaning forward and placing the lightest of kisses on Gina’s lips. “Saturday would be great.”
***
“It’s for the best, Gina.” Steven comforted his partner as they entered the department store. “I knew a woman like that couldn’t be gay.”
It took all of Gina’s might to not break into a rant about stereotyping, especially coming from him. “Yeah, she kept going on and on about this guy she’s interested in. She’ll still really fun to hang out with though.”
“It’s healthy to have friends outside of work. And who knows, maybe she’ll know someone and set you up after you and Early are more established?”
Gina peered into the security room where their flasher was being held. “Maybe.”
***
“She’s completely, head over heels in love with her husband.”
Allison patted her friend’s mostly healed hand in comfort. “That’s a good thing, Roni. But I do feel sorry for you. I know you haven’t dated in awhile.”
“It’s okay. I think we’ll still be very good friends and Gina was comfortable when she found out I was gay.”
“Being a military-cop lady will do that, I guess. Hey, maybe she can set you up with a friend? You might still get laid out of knowing her.”
“Maybe.”
TWO MONTHS LATER, MAY 1991
“OH, GOD!” RONI HALF MOANED and screamed as she rocked her hips faster over Gina’s skilled hand. “I’m almost there.”
“I’ve got you,” Gina crooned breathlessly as she held her clandestine girlfriend securely in place. She felt Roni’s naked breasts slide against her own and Roni’s tightening muscles around her two curled, stroking fingers.
Roni tried to keep her rhythm as she felt her body begin to tense from the inside out. “Almost...Ah!”
Gina felt sweat trickle down her cleavage and watched Roni’s eyes squeeze shut as her orgasm swept her away to bliss. After a few breaths, she reluctantly withdrew her fingers and brought Roni in for a tender kiss. “There isn’t a sight better on this Earth than watching you do that.”
Roni nipped at Gina’s lower lip. “That makes sense since there isn’t a better feeling. Although, feeling you come is pretty damn good too. And you know what I’m thinking?” Roni smirked mischievously and traced her finger around one of Gina’s excited, dark nipples. “That it wouldn’t be fair to leave you unsatisfied.”
“Can I get a rain check? I should probably start getting ready to go to Mass,” Gina said, as she watched Roni kiss her way down her body and settled between her thighs.
“I have a feeling I can get you to say God’s name. You can consider this church.”
“I don’t think it works that way.” Gina knew it didn’t work that way, but she was powerless over Roni. Roni was methodical, borderline devious, in how she pleasured Gina. The way she would plan ahead and then keep Gina right on edge was maddening. Like what she did at that moment with her tongue. It was wonderful, but at the same time a reminder that Roni’s focus was not where Gina desperately wanted it. “If you moved to the left—”
The apartment door slammed shut.
Roni bolted up from her position on the bed, her blond hair mussed. “I thought you said Early and Steven were in Jersey for a show?”
Gina gestured for her to be quiet and whispered, “They’re supposed to be.” She was relieved she had shut her bedroom door out of habit. “Just be quiet and they won’t know we’re here. A really good way to stay quiet would be if you returned to what you were doing.”
Roni looked at her skeptically. “I think you forgot I lost all of my clothes in the living room during the striptease. They’ll know someone is here.”
A male voice, almost musical, echoed down the short hall. “Oh my God! I love these panties!”
“Shit,” Gina concluded. A knock on Gina’s door caused both of their heads to whip towards it. “I’m sorry, Roni, it looks like it’s time to face the music.”
“Gina, I know you’re in there and I know those panties aren’t yours. They’re way too femme. Come out!” demanded the completely non-threatening voice of Gina’s husband.
Gina grabbed her gym shorts and an Army tee shirt from the floor. “I’ll go out first and then when you feel comfortable you can join me. Pick any clothes in the drawer.” She kissed Roni and shut the door behind her. What awaited her was a humorless Steven who sat in his favorite recliner and Early who neatly folded Roni’s clothes.
“Hi, guys. How was Jersey?” she asked nonchalantly. “Were you able to visit your sister?”
“No. Monica wasn’t home.” Steven glared at Gina suspiciously. “What’s going on here?”
“I think you know what’s going on. There’s a woman in my room,” she pointed to the stack in Early’s hands, “and those are her clothes.”
Early showed his smile full of perfect teeth—the one advantage of having a chemically dependent mother who worked in a dental office. His very lean, ligh
t brown arm held out a pair of heeled sandals with a green strap. “Your woman has style. I’ll give her that much.”
“Can’t you at least pretend to be upset?” Steven asked his boyfriend.
“Why? Because of the marriage thing? Pfft. That was your idea, Steven, if you recall.”
“And you both agreed that it was a good plan.” Steven was not going to be portrayed as the bad guy in this. This was a team effort. He just seemed to be the only one to understand the full scope of what they were doing.
“Fine.” Early rolled his eyes at his austere boyfriend and the plan. He turned to Gina and wagged his finger, “Gina, you’re my wife and how dare you break our marital vow sham. Now, I want to meet the lady who owns these clothes.”
“Okay, but I want you to know,” Gina scurried over closer to them and whispered, “I really, really like her. She could be, you know, the one.”
Early inhaled dramatically. “That’s like Prince settling down.” Early was obsessed with the singer and except for being six inches taller, he bore an uncanny resemblance to the musical icon.
“So, this isn’t the morning sequel of a one-night stand?” asked Steven.
“That’s correct. In fact, you kind of know her.” Gina winced as she prepared for Steven’s backlash.
“I knew it! It’s that green-eyed, book club lady. I told you to be careful.”
Early lit up again. “Green eyes? I love green eyes! I want to meet her right now.”
“Give me a minute.” She left the small living room and found Roni sitting on the edge of her bed wearing her faded Def Leppard concert tee and a pair of running shorts. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah, I’m ready.” When Roni reached the living room, she saw Steven with a scowl and a man with a large smile, filled with the best teeth she had ever seen, wearing a polo shirt. She thought he looked like a preppy version of Prince.
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