“I’ll admit that would be cute.” She rubbed her face in her hands and then ran them through her hair. No matter what the topic was she couldn’t shake the stress she felt. She poised herself to stand again, but Early’s hand on her shoulder prevented it.
“Stop it! You’re starting to freak me out. I’m the drama queen, remember?”
“Sorry. It’s just that I’m going to be a nervous wreck for the next twenty-four hours. That’s actually how I was able to justify emergency personal leave. There’s no way I should be trusted with a gun right now.”
Early put his arm around his wife and gave her a friendly squeeze. “Face it. You’re going to be a nervous wreck for the rest of that kid’s life.”
“I’m starting to realize that.” Her eyes traveled down the hall to the closed double doors and wished Steven would emerge.
***
Four hours later, Early saw Steven, out of his scrubs, and jumped out of his seat. His sharp movement brought Gina out of her pacing haze. She saw Steven approach both of them wearing a million-watt smile against his dark features.
“I’m a daddy!” Steven yelled and then immediately was at the center of a group hug. “He’s absolutely beautiful. Completely healthy.”
“Is Roni alright?” Gina asked.
Steven rubbed both of Gina’s shoulders to comfort her. “Roni is doing great. She did everything exactly as practiced.” His eyes twinkled. “You should see Stevie—all eight pounds-one ounce and twenty inches of him.”
“I can’t believe it. You’re a father! That’s so grown-up,” remarked Early.
“I know.” Steven chuckled and gestured with his thumb to the area he came from. “I should go back to Roni while Stevie is getting checked in the nursery.”
Early gave him a playful punch in the shoulder. “Go do what you gotta do, big man.”
“Tell Roni that I love her and that we can’t wait to see Stevie,” Gina said quickly without the smile ever leaving her face.
“Will do, Gina. I’ll come and get you guys when they’re both ready.”
When Steven returned to the waiting room twenty minutes later, Gina and Early were no longer hugging or pacing, but instead sitting with Early drinking an orange juice. “You forgot to check your sugars, didn’t you?”
“It’s been a hectic day,” Early responded with sass.
“Are they ready?” Gina asked eagerly while she held onto the string of a mylar helium balloon celebrating It’s a Boy. A quick trip to the hospital’s gift shop seemed to be a good use of time when she left to buy Early’s juice.
Steven smiled broadly. “Yeah, they’re ready. But I’m going to warn you, Gina. You’re going to fall in love with her all over again.”
Steven was right.
When the three of them entered the room, the scene before her caused Gina’s heart to swell once more. Roni sat up in the adjustable bed. Her blond hair tied back and tousled, sleepy-eyed, and held Stevie. His scrunched dark beige face peaked out between the white blanket he was swaddled in and his sky blue knit cap.
Roni smiled as she watched a tear travel down Gina’s cheek. Roni spoke in a hushed voice, “I’d like you all to meet Stevie.”
“Do the formal introduction, Roni,” Steven said with a mischievous smile.
Roni nodded with as much excitement as her worn body could muster. “Gina and Early, I’d like to introduce to the world Steven Gino Fields.”
Gina’s mouth formed a perfect “O” in surprise. She had no idea Stevie’s middle name was going to be Gino. It was the most meaningful present she ever could have received. She turned to Steven for confirmation.
He nodded. “It only seemed fair. Without you, there would be no him.”
Gina kissed Stevie’s forehead and then Roni. “I love you both so much. Can I hold him?”
“Only if I go next,” Early playfully demanded while Steven held his hand.
Gina slid the nearest chair to the bed, apologizing as it squeaked along the linoleum. As Roni carefully handed Stevie to Gina, he made a tiny grumble of displeasure from being away from his mother. “Shhh, it’s okay, my figlioccio.”
“See, you’re already teaching him Italian,” Early pointed out while he had his arm around Steven. “You didn’t call him a fig though, did you?”
“No, that means he’s my godson. Although, I kind of like figgy as a nickname.”
“My son will not be figgy,” Steven commanded in his newly acquired fatherly voice.
“I can see your point.” Gina glanced up at Early. “You were right. He does look like you. And he’s got Steven’s nose. What color eyes does he have?”
Roni shifted her position gingerly to accept a cup of water from Steven. “Right now, they’re hazel, but that will probably change.”
“I hope they turn green and maybe you’ll make little ‘tut-tut’ noises someday too.”
“Tut-tut?” Steven asked.
“I’ll tell you later,” Early informed a puzzled Steven. “Is it my turn yet? That was the deal. We all get turns with Stevie.”
Gina nodded even though she never, ever wanted to let this little boy go. She took one more moment to study Stevie. His face wrinkled. His dark hair escaped his small blue cap. His tiny mouth twitched. And his eyes opened. Gina gazed into those innocent, not yet green eyes. “You can call me Gina, but make no mistake. I will love you and protect you like only a mother can.”
SEPTEMBER 2014: BABY BOY
EACH TIME STEVIE FINISHED TELLING Bradyn part of his story, she appeared even more astounded. He let the background of his conception and birth sink in while he enjoyed the newly arrived southwest eggrolls. “How’s your processing coming?” he asked with a spot of creamy avocado dressing clinging to the corner of his mouth and goatee. “We can stop if you want. I know this is a lot of information to deal with at one time.”
Bradyn was stunned and reached out with her napkin to dab the ranch off of his face. If he was going to grow a goatee, she sincerely hoped he was going to be more careful with the food he ate. “It’s just so...how in the world did you react when they told you about the insemination?”
“Oh, I’ll get to that part eventually.”
Bradyn had no doubt that was a gripping tale by the way his green eyes glinted with mischief. She pushed her braids behind her shoulder and helped herself to an eggroll. “The whole thing is just incredible.” She tried to imagine herself accepting the news of something like that or even how others would accept it, especially given the open racism that existed on Stevie’s mother’s side of the family. “Everyone was cool with it?”
He took another bite and chewed thoughtfully. “Define cool.”
“You know, everyone was happy?”
“I think that people were fine with me. I was a child. I didn’t have a say. However, there were other issues, besides me, that started popping up around this time that started challenging the family unit.”
SEPTEMBER 1995
STEVIE MADE HAPPY GURGLE NOISES and splashed water from his baby seat in the bathtub. Gina kneeled on a rolled towel and gently rubbed shampoo into his scalp and answered Roni’s question, “That’s an easy one. D, a picture of the crime scene.”
Roni made an incorrect buzzer sound while she sat on the closed commode, the detective study manual lying open across her lap. “Correct answer, D, a photograph of the crime scene.”
“You are such a smart ass,” Gina remarked with a grin.
“Don’t forget that I’m also a tease.”
“How could I ever possibly forget that?” Gina asked rhetorically and kissed Roni softly before washing the suds off of Stevie. She tickled his belly and used her baby-voice, “Your mommy’s a big tease. Yes, she is.”
Stevie kicked his legs haphazardly and blabbered with a toothless smile as his green eyes twinkled with delight.
“Oh my, God.” Roni put the study manual on the floor and pointed at Stevie, “Look!” Roni’s smiled grew wider as she kneeled on the floor beside Gina. She
reached out and touched Stevie’s cheek. “It looks like Stevie has a dimple.”
“Where?” Gina exclaimed and moved to see the other side of Stevie’s smiling face more clearly.
And she saw it. Stevie had a dimple on his left cheek. Just like Gina.
“Look what you have. Where’d you get that?” Roni asked her son.
In lieu of a verbal response, Stevie blew out a spit bubble and threw his chubby arms down, sending a small splash towards both of them.
“I can’t think of any dimples on my side of the family and from the pictures of Steven’s family, I don’t think they run on his side either. He must have gotten it from you.” Roni punctuated her conclusion with a kiss to Gina’s cheek.
Stevie had Roni’s green eyes, Steven’s nose, Early’s skin tone, and Gina’s dimple.
Gina touched the cross at her neck. She knew where the dimple came from—she was destined to be his godmother.
***
Gina, wearing her nicest pantsuit, scanned and shuffled through the papers that littered the surface of the home desk while “tut-tutting”. “Where is it? I know I put it around here somewhere.”
Gina picked up one book and paper at a time until she found the paper that most interested her. “Eureka!” She held the baptismal paperwork up in triumph to the four pairs of eyes staring at her. Stevie’s eyes had remained shut ever since his feeding and subsequent change into the white Christening garment one-hour prior.
“Good God, woman! Had I known you could be such a spaz, I never would have married you.”
“Shut up, Early.”
Monica tapped Early on the shoulder and matter-of-factly stated, “You need to stop that talk. You’re the man.” She leaned down to tuck in Stevie’s blanket and spoke to him, “When you grow up you’re going to need to put your foot down sometimes.”
Roni sent a questioning look towards Steven. Steven, in his recycled wedding suit, shrugged at his sister’s beliefs. He had listened to her spout that rhetoric for years and found that ignoring it was the most successful tactic.
Gina, however, was not keen on disregarding Monica. “I think Steven and Roni are going to raise Stevie to be more progressive and stress gender equality. And as his godmother, I agree.” Gina enjoyed the visible clenching of Monica’s jaw every time she was able to remind her that she was Stevie’s godmother.
“I still think a woman’s place is in the home. I don’t know how Cookie can even think of leaving this precious bundle and going back to work with all of those other kids.”
“While I will miss Stevie to pieces,” Roni said to Monica, “he’ll be in good hands with Early during the day.”
Monica furrowed her brow. This was news to her. “Early, the babysitter?”
“Early, the godfather and caretaker extraordinaire.” He smoothed down his mustache with his thumb and forefinger. “I’m very important.”
“You’ll never be godfather if Stevie’s never baptized. Let’s move,” Steven pointed out. “Monica, why don’t you ride with Roni and me?”
Monica waved off the suggestion. “I’ll drive myself. I have to head home afterward so dinner can be on the table at a reasonable hour for my husband.” She pointedly looked at Gina. “That’s what good wife does.”
Gina felt her anger rise, but exhaled a calming breath. “I’m a very good wife. I don’t think Early has any complaints. Do you, Early?” she asked a bit more harshly than intended.
“It’s true that I am very satisfied in the relationship we have,” Early confirmed.
Monica eyed both of them skeptically. Something was going on between those two and it wasn’t an abundance of Gina fulfilling her marital duties. “Mmm hmm. Whatever you say. I’ll see you at the church.”
Once Monica was safely in her own car and the rest were buckled in the family vehicle, Gina expressed the thought she had been having for the past ten minutes. “Someday...I’m going to have to punch her.”
“Please don’t punch my sister,” Steven requested with exasperation as he drove. “Monica just has an extremely traditional way of viewing parenting and marriage. Her heart is in the right place.”
“Well, maybe when Gina punches her, her brain will go into the right place too,” Early suggested and then turned to the back seat to shoot his smile at Roni and Gina. Stevie was still happily asleep in the car seat between them.
“The last thing we need is for anyone to punch Monica. She’s the only blood relative who wants anything to do with Stevie,” Roni said bitterly. “We should be grateful for the family that we have.”
***
Roni stood in front of the bedroom door’s mirror and double-checked her appearance. Her hair was still its natural blond, but it hung straight and dull past her shoulders. Her face was still slightly more rounded than angular. Her swollen breasts caused the buttons of her shirt to strain. Her waist protested the skirt being zipped and clasped. And she was pretty sure that slightly above her modest heels were what some referred to as cankles. “Baby weight: the saga continues.”
Then she broke down into tears. Again.
The tears weren’t because the Thighmaster from Allison and workout videos from Sarah weren’t working as well as Roni had hoped. She was emotional because she had to leave her baby boy and go back to work.
Roni reluctantly descended the stairs, baby monitor in hand, while she dabbed carefully at her eyes with a tissue. She didn’t want to smudge the eyeliner or smear the mascara she had just applied.
Early met her at the bottom of the steps and put his arms around her. “It’ll be fine. I know exactly what I’m doing.”
“I know. It’s just that I’m going to miss him so much. Monica was right.”
“You are never, ever allowed to say that,” Early reprimanded. “A mother should miss her child, but you aren’t doing anything wrong. Stevie and I are going to have a great day. We’re going to go to the park, he’s going to help me come up with next week’s wait staff schedule, and then we’re going to see what happens next on All My Children.”
“Take notes. I want to know what happens to Erica.” The baby monitor in Roni’s hand crackled with a cry from Stevie.
“Go now,” Early ordered as he took the monitor from her and placed it on the coffee table. “If you don’t go now, you never will,” he called down as he ascended the stairs.
Roni listened on the monitor as Early tended to Stevie. Early’s soothing vocals came through the speaker when he started to sing “Whatta Man” and Stevie’s cries ceased. Satisfied that everything was going to be okay, Roni grabbed her purse and left for work.
Everything is going to be okay.
***
“What the hell happened to this place?” Roni asked Sarah with her classroom door shut after school. “I miss a little bit of time at the beginning of the school year and everything went to shit.”
“You know how it is,” Sarah tucked a silver strand of hair behind her ear. “The first few months set the tone and our new fearless leader put the most inept people at the head of the most important committees. He thinks being the ‘fun principal’ is the way to earn the respect of the kids and seems to think the teachers’ contract is a suggestion, not a legal document.”
“He’s an idiot,” Roni summarized.
“He’s our boss.” Sarah took a seat at one of the small student desks closest to Roni. “You could have his job.”
“What? No, I couldn’t. I’d need to have experience as an assistant principal first.”
“Okay. So, get the experience. Rumor mill says that new assistant over at Yeats Middle is in way over her head and will probably flake out by the end of the marking period.” She paused and then suggested, “Ask your friend Allison what she thinks. She’d be a good opinion on this.”
“I might do that, but I doubt if I’ll get a quick reply.” Allison had started an administrative internship in her district while she was still teaching. Her free time was as sparse as hers. “I don’t think now is the time in
my life to change what I do professionally anyway. And I’d have to talk it over with everyone since it would affect all of us. Especially Gina, since her job may change.”
“Is she leaving the police department?”
“No. She just took the detective’s exam and will find out at the end of the month how she did.”
“She’s a smart woman, I’m sure she passed.” Sarah saw the picture on Roni’s desk of her family of five and picked it up to examine the arrangement more carefully.
Gina had smuggled the 3x5 picture into Roni’s purse before she and Steven had left for their shift. In the photo, Gina stood over a seated Roni, with her hand on top of Roni’s shoulder, while Steven mirrored Gina. Early had his arm slung around Gina and Roni held Stevie. “Who took this picture?”
“Steven’s sister, Monica.”
Something that Sarah had noticed in the years that she had known Roni was that she rarely spoke about her family. And now that she was married, she rarely spoke about Steven’s family. It was as if they didn’t even exist. “What’s Monica like?”
ONE YEAR AND EIGHT MONTHS LATER, JUNE 1997
“COOKIE, CAN YOU GET MY cake? I left it outside,” Monica asked from her comfortable spot in the living room while Roni filled a sippy cup.
Roni gritted her teeth. She despised that nickname. “Sure, I just need to take this out to Stevie in the backyard first.” She sighed a breath of relief once she was out of the kitchen and in the sanctity of the backyard.
Stevie smiled a toothy grin as he saw his mother. He struggled to stand in the sandbox, but with a little help from Gina, was able to walk to his mother and get his juice. He was an independent and proud two years old.
“You look upset,” Gina pointed out.
“Annoyed would probably be a more accurate description. Is it just me or is Monica being a little more...”
“Passive-aggressive?”
“Yes!” Roni sat on the wooden edge of the sandbox. “This was supposed to be a fun family affair. I think she just came for the cake. Was it good cake?” Roni had skipped the cake in an effort to lose one last pound of pregnancy weight. The first twenty pounds were lost in half the time it took her to lose the last ten. Of course, the additional stress of being an assistant principal in one of the most troubled schools in the district did not help.
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