by Orr, Pauline
The first date had been with Dean, a 36 year old accountant with a passion for sky diving. They had chatted and flirted over the website’s messaging system, talking and getting to know each other. Finally Dean had suggested that they meet and arranged to see Charlotte on a Wednesday outside a classy bar in the city centre.
Charlotte had waited for half an hour, checking and rechecking the location he gave and the date. She went so far as to send him a message on the site asking where he was. There was no reply and humiliated Charlotte had gone home close to tears. She had known that people in the bar had been watching, they had seen her get stood up and were probably talking about how pathetic she was.
Things were made even worse when she got a message from Dean the next day saying that he had in fact been there but had taken a look at her and decided against it. Especially considering how much she badgered him when he was a little late. Apparently she had failed some sort of test he set and Charlotte gladly washed her hands of Dean.
The second date had been with Elliott, a 30 year old estate agent. Charlotte had been smarter this time when they decided to meet, insisting on getting his mobile number and spending a couple of days texting and chatting over the phone before she agreed to actually meet him in person. Thankfully he didn’t suggest the same bar as Dean had; instead he chose a restaurant that Charlotte had already told him that she was fond of.
She had texted him before she left her home, making sure that he too was on the way before she set out. She still ended up waiting 15 minutes despite Elliott living closer to the restaurant than her. She finally gave in and called him, asking where he was.
It was only minutes later that he came bowling down the streets and when he skidded to a stop in front of her panting she could smell the vodka on his breath. He was swaying slightly too and his eyes were glazed. She challenged him on it and he finally admitted that he had had one or two small drinks ‘to give him courage’. Charlotte figured out while they were eating that he regularly needed ‘courage’ and refused the offer or a second date.
Charlotte’s third date was with a charming chap by the name of Percy. She had been a little tipsy when she had replied to his friendly enough email, drinking her way through a small bottle of wine to get over the disappointment of her date with Elliott. She was well aware of the irony but chose to ignore it, preferring simply to blot it out. His profile had seemed interesting and their conversations entertaining, if a little formal.
Percy eventually suggested a meet up after almost two weeks of talking by text and phone calls, his voice shaking so much that he could barely get the words out. Charlotte gladly accepted, sure at last that she had found a man with manners who might actually not humiliate her. Initially she was proved right. He arrived at the pub first and waited for her outside, shaking hands tightly gripping a bouquet of flowers.
He had been a perfect gentleman as he had led her to their table, holding out her chair for her to sit in and taking charge of the wine ordering. It was as they waited for their food to arrive that Charlotte began to get the idea that he might not be as perfect as he appeared. It began when she complimented him on his location choice and he admitted that it had been suggested by his mother.
She shrugged it off at first, figuring that there was nothing wrong with a man who spoke to his mother regularly. It was after the fourth phone-call from her to Percy and his seventh or eighth story that revolved around her that Charlotte began to realize that there was already a woman firmly ensconced in Percy’s life and it wasn’t her. Finally Percy admitted that he still in fact lived with his mother and Charlotte had quickly wished him well and left.
It was the fourth date that was Charlotte’s breaking point. Martin, 32, had seemed nice enough and he was very friendly when they talked on the messaging system, even if he did share a little too much of himself too quickly.
Charlotte had felt a twinge of warning in her gut within the first week of texting and calling but she ignored it, truly hoping that this 6’3” lawyer and part time rugby player could be the one. His picture was handsome and his hobbies seemed to mesh well with her. Her hopes were shattered into tiny pieces when she finally agreed to meet Martin though. They met in a somewhat seedy part of town and she quickly realized that Martin’s 32 was in fact 23, he was not a 6’3” rugby player but a 6’3” bean pole who played World of Warcraft more than was possibly healthy.
The picture he had used clearly wasn’t him either but the features were similar enough that Charlotte decided it must be a relative. Martin had turned up with a gift but it wasn’t flowers, instead it had been a bottle of perfume of the variety worn by grandmothers that was heavy, cloying and musky. Charlotte had sneezed as soon as she smelt it, the scent tickling her nose and she hadn’t even bothered to create an excuse for leaving. Instead she had turned around and simply walked away after looking Martin up and down and saying no.
She had had enough and said as much to her friends when they all came around to her house for lunch that Saturday.
“Oh don’t give up now Bernie,” cried Sylvia “You’re bound to meet the right person for you.”
“Yeah, he’s out there somewhere,” agreed Beth who was happily married “I mean... look how well you’ve been doing so far, you have had dates and they all did turn up. Well apart from that Dean bloke but to be honest I think you’re better off.”
“Definitely,” interrupted Chloe, “its like, a chartered accountant who likes sky diving? That just screams weirdo to me and anyone who sets that kind of test isn’t worth the time of day.”
“I suppose I could try a little longer. I did pay for 4 months after all,” Charlotte said with a sigh.
Her friends cheered and insisted that she pull out her laptop straight away so they could look over her profile and pick out men for her to message. The group managed to empty 3 bottles of wine and had to be picked up by partners and friends by the time they grew bored of ‘man shopping on the internet’ as Sylvia called it. Charlotte went to bed with a fuzzy head and the decision firmly in her mind that she would give it one more go and see where it took her.
***
THE NEXT day she got a message from a New Zealander based in the UK called Bruce Adams and her heart almost skipped a beat when she saw his picture. He was almost unbelievably handsome with thick wavy blond hair, a chiseled jaw and he looked tall and muscular, exactly the kind of man that Charlotte longed to date.
She began to question what a man who seemed so perfect was doing on a dating website; surely he would be able to get any woman he wanted without the help of the internet. She opened his profile and read through it and began to think more and more that he was perfect for her, exactly what she was looking for.
He was normal and adventurous, lived alone, supported himself, was spontaneous but steady and liked many of the same things that Charlotte liked. His hobbies included hiking and watching TV, he wanted to see more of England, including the pubs. Finally Charlotte gave in and opened the message Bruce had sent.
“Sylvia, Sylvia!” Charlotte cried down the phone later that evening. “I found him, I found the perfect man for me!”
“See!” Sylvia said back somewhat sleepily. Charlotte noticed guiltily that it was almost midnight “I told you that you’d find Mr. Right eventually, you just had to stick with it.”
“I know!” Charlotte said “Thanks so much for telling me to hang on.”
“So...” Sylvia said, sounding a little more awake “What’s he like?”
Charlotte went into a long explanation of the messages that she and Bruce had exchanged that day. The two friends talked for a long time but when Charlotte noticed that it was now 2 in the morning she insisted that Sylvia go to sleep. Charlotte decided to go to sleep too, happy and joyful at the prospect of finally having some luck with a man.
Bruce and Charlotte spent the next few days talking to each other, exchanging messages on the website, texting over the phone and finally talking over Skype. Charlotte couldn't believe
the relief she felt when she saw Bruce there before her on her computer screen. He looked normal and just as attractive as his profile picture. She sighed with relief and their conversations improved more than she could have believed.
Bruce asked her about her stand-offish attitude at first, wondering why it had taken so long to open up. She was reluctant to admit it but eventually she explained the disasters of her past dates and meet ups. Bruce sympathized and admitted to some of his own. Their conversations flew by; days passing so quickly that before she knew it Charlotte had been talking to Bruce for well over two months.
“Look Bernie,” Bruce said over Skype that evening “All this talking is great and you’re a wonderful girl. I really want to meet you in person, see if we get along as well face to face as we do right now. Is that alright with you?”
“Of course,” Charlotte cried out “I would have said something sooner but to be honest I enjoyed our chats so much that I forgot to bring it up.”
“I know what you mean love, it’s hard to remember stuff when our conversations just end up winding around and around in all directions,” Bruce agreed.
They decided not to wait and arranged a meet the next day, at lunchtime, in the city centre. Charlotte dressed carefully the next day; she really thought that Bruce could be the one since they got on so well. Her stomach rolled with butterflies as she caught the bus in, nerves making her too nervous to drive safely.
She looked around as she approached the cafe Bruce had mentioned and her heart skipped a beat in her chest, making her catch her breath. He was beautiful, sat waiting quietly at a table with a single flower resting on the tabletop by his hand. He was looking around, probably for her and Charlotte found herself stopping and watching him from a distance.
Then he caught sight of her and smiled. She smiled back shyly, brushing her hair away from her face as she walked towards him. He stood and held out an arm as she got closer, gently kissing her cheek in greeting and handing her the flower.
“You look as lovely as your profile picture Bernie, even lovelier in fact,” he said with a smile once they were settled at their table “I’m so glad we agreed to do this.”
“You’re exactly how I pictured you,” Charlotte said quietly, sipping her water “I’m glad too, I’m so happy we decided not to wait any longer.”
“So...” Bruce began, leaning on the table and looking at her “How am I doing so far?”
“Wonderfully,” Charlotte said with a giggle “For one thing you were early! You’re the first man I’ve met from that site who understands the meaning of punctuality.”
“Tell me about it,” Bruce said “I was in the area doing some errands and I finished sooner than I thought. I remembered you saying that it really annoyed you to be kept waiting so I figured bugger it I’ll go early and surprise you.”
“It was a very wonderful surprise, one of the best yet,” Charlotte said quietly.
Bruce smiled at her and reached for her hand. The rest of the date passed in a blur for Charlotte, she had so much fun. Bruce was the perfect gentleman, making sure she was happy with everything they did, he held the door for her, helped her into her seat. His good manners made her think for a moment about Percy and she dared to ask Bruce where his mother was.
She breathed a sigh of relief when he explained that she was still in New Zealand and had no intention of coming to the UK any time soon. Charlotte couldn’t stop smiling as Bruce insisted on paying for everything, the first of any of her dates to do so. She was reluctant to end their date, slowly meandering through the streets talking as they returned to her bus stop.
Bruce wouldn’t leave her there, he waited patiently with her for her bus to arrive and when she was about to get on he gently pulled her towards him and kissed her softly and chastely on the lips. She had smiled the whole way home. Although the entire date Bruce had found ways to touch her in some way she had delighted at that first hint of proper physical contact.
Even as she lay in bed that night she could remember the feel of his smooth lips on hers, the heat that came from him and the spark she had felt low in her gut as her desire for him flared.
The next day she was ecstatic as she walked into Sylvia’s house for their weekly meet-up and as soon as her friends saw her face they began to quiz her. She told them everything, every minute detail of her date with Bruce and the girls all cooed with excitement at the news.
“There was something a little odd that kept happening though,” she said hesitantly. The girls all looked at her with worry.
“He didn’t creak when he moved did he?” Beth said worriedly “Because if he creaked he was probably wearing a latex suit. I don’t think you’d be in to that kind of thing Bernie. If he creaked chuck him immediately.
“He didn’t creak,” Charlotte said with a laugh “It was more about how some people reacted to him...”
“Well the man is gorgeous,” Sylvia said quietly, sipping her wine. The girls turned to look at her. She shrugged “What?! I’ve seen his profile picture, Bern showed me!”
“It wasn’t that.” Charlotte said shaking her head “There was... no I’m just being silly, never mind.”
Her friends demanded she tell them, insisting that she wasn’t being silly and reluctantly she told them everything odd that happened.
“There was this woman that came up to him as we walked towards the park. He likes walking you see and you know I love the park,” Charlotte explained. “Anyway, this woman was shouting at him for ages, walking behind us. I thought she was shouting someone else at first because she kept calling out the name Graham but she wasn’t she was shouting at me and Bruce, well, Bruce at least.
She must have thought he wasn’t paying attention because next thing I know she’s ran up to us and has Bruce by the elbow. She starts talking to him about some woman and calling him Graham but he tried to stop her. Finally he managed to get her to shut up long enough to say she had the wrong person. She didn’t think so but he insisted so much that finally she gave up and walked away. She looked so confused though.”
Sylvia, Beth and Chloe all looked at each other in confusion before turning back to Charlotte.
“And then it happened again!” She cried out. “We stopped for a coffee in a little cafe off the high street and this man walks by our table. The guy did a double-take and I mean a double-take, walking backwards and everything.
Then he starts talking about some woman to Bruce again, the same woman that the lady from earlier mentioned. Bruce managed to get rid of him eventually, insisting he had the wrong person but the guy wouldn’t listen and kept going on and on about some woman.
It took the owner of the cafe and three customers to get him to shut up and leave. He was getting very angry and I swear I thought he was going to punch Bruce in the face or something. It was so scary.”
The friends all looked at each other, confusion written all over their faces. Charlotte watched them, her heart sinking again as she thought through the less than brilliant parts of her date. Maybe Bruce was another dud guy. She said as much to her friends but they immediately jumped in.
“No Bernie!” Chloe cried out, placing a comforting hand on Charlotte’s wrist. “It happens all the time; people think someone’s another person.”
“Yeah,” agreed Beth, “It’s sounding like something bad is happening between the woman and this Graham bloke and obviously anyone involved is all upset. No one thinks right when they’re upset do they?”
“What was the woman’s name that they kept mentioning anyway?” Sylvia asked.
“Jennie or Jessie or Jasmine maybe?” Charlotte said hesitantly. “I’m not sure, the people were both speaking so fast and I was so uncomfortable I didn’t really pay attention.”
“And he’s sure he doesn’t know anyone by that name?” Sylvia said quietly. Charlotte nodded and Sylvia smiled “Well then I reckon there’s nothing to worry about. Just chalk it up to a case of mistaken identity and arrange the next date!”
***<
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ON MONDAY Charlotte did just that. Bruce had been apologetic when she first called him, saying sorry over and over for the events of their date. She shushed him immediately and asked when he’d like to go out again.
He couldn’t believe it she could tell that much from his voice and she wasn’t surprised when he asked if she were sure. She’d laughed and assured him that she really did want to see him again. He happily agreed and they made plans for the following Friday.
Date after date followed. There were no more interruptions by people insisting that Bruce was someone called Graham although for their second date both Bruce and Charlotte had spent a large portion of the time looking around, expecting someone to appear and start harassing Bruce.
They had laughed as they had caught each other doing it and fear assuaged they continued the rest of the date focused solely on each other. Charlotte began to feel a deeper and deeper connection to Bruce, her thoughts began to focus on him more and more when he wasn’t around.