Just One Look

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Just One Look Page 12

by Dara Girard


  “Ken, you don’t have to tell me—”

  “And then when he saw the love of his life coming towards him he couldn’t stop smiling and I teased him and said ‘Are you ready for this?’ and he just said ‘Lock and load’, which meant he was ready for anything. But I knew I didn’t need to ask the question, because he’d told me he’d been waiting for that moment his whole life.” He took another long drag. “Yeah, the damn bastard can be stupid like that.”

  “Ken, really I—”

  He waved his cigarette. “I haven’t gotten to the best part yet. The part when she looked up at him, holding his hand in hers and whispered, ‘I can’t do this,’ then ran down the aisle without looking back. She packed her things and disappeared. Didn’t answer any of his calls or texts. She sent him a letter. I don’t know if he read it or not, just told me he got one and that was it.” Ken stubbed out his cigarette on the side of a trash bin then dropped it inside.

  “I’ve only seen my buddy cry twice,” he continued. “First, when a cousin of his drowned and then because of you. He was stunned at first. He didn’t cry when it happened. We just got drunk that night and talked about what a puta you were. How much better off he was without you. And for a time he seemed fine then, it was a year later, on what would have been your first year anniversary, we were riding in the park and saw a wedding party.

  “Adrian rode past it and then stopped when he saw a white deflated balloon on the ground with the words ‘just married’ printed on it. He picked it up and this older woman sees us, smiles and says ‘Congratulations’ and I started to laugh, but he just lost it.” Ken folded his arms. “I’m not going to tell you what happened because it’s none of your damn business, but I’ll say this. The second time we got drunk over you it wasn’t just the liquor that flowed.”

  Caryn sighed feeling the weight of Ken’s disgust. “I hurt him. I realize that.”

  “But if you knew how much you wouldn’t be standing in front of me right now, batting those pretty brown eyes of yours and asking forgiveness.”

  “I know it won’t be easy, but I’ll work at earning your trust again.”

  “Why does it matter?”

  “Because you matter to him and your opinion is important.”

  “You mean, you know I have an influence.” A reluctant smile touched his lips. “Yes, you always were smart.”

  “Ken—”

  “But it takes more than smarts to fix this. No, you just left him. And now you’re back and we’re all supposed to forget how you treated him because you love him so much? He may be blinded by his love for you, but I’m not because you left him when he needed you most. Where were you when we were building our business? When he wasn’t sure he could make payroll? When the cash didn’t come? When he failed?”

  “I can’t make up for the past,” Caryn said in a helpless tone.

  Ken shook his head. “No, that’s what scares me the most. You can. I looked at my friend and he has that same look in his eye that he had all those years ago. You’re the only one who’s ever been able to put that kind of joy on his face and that’s what worries me.”

  “I won’t hurt him again.”

  “You can’t promise me that.”

  “I need him as much as he needs me.”

  “No, he needs you more.” Ken turned to the door where a looming silhouette stood. “He doesn’t want to lose you and that gives you the upper hand.”

  “I love him.”

  “I don’t believe you.” Ken rested a hand on her shoulder, leaned in and whispered, “But I’ll give you a chance to prove me wrong,” he said before he walked away.

  Adrian approached her. “What did he say to you?”

  Caryn wrapped her arms around his waist, glad the ordeal was over. “That I’d better treat you right.”

  He searched her face unconvinced. “That doesn’t sound like him.”

  “I read between the lines.”

  Adrian wrapped his arms around her. “And what did you say to him?”

  “That I’ll try really hard.”

  He kissed her forehead. “You always make me hard.”

  Caryn covered his mouth with her hand, outraged. “Don’t say things like that.”

  He removed her hand. “No one can hear me. And if they did, they’d be jealous. I’m a happy man right now. No, don’t move.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m still really happy right now.”

  Caryn glanced down at the front of his trousers. “You’re joking.”

  “No, I’m not. You can’t see out here, but once we step back inside, it will be clear.”

  “But I haven’t even done anything.”

  “Do you know how long it’s been? My body’s been pent up for years and now—”

  Caryn stared at him stunned. “You mean all this time you haven’t…?”

  “Not with you,” he clarified with a quick grin of mischief. “That’s the difference and I think we should talk about something else or I’m going to stay happy longer than we both want.”

  “What should we do?”

  “First I suggest you stop looking down like that.”

  Caryn snapped her head up. “Yes, right.”

  “And now let me go, just don’t move away.”

  She took a step back and narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure you’re not teasing me?”

  “I swear.” He shoved his hands in his pockets.

  Her eyes widened. “What are you doing?”

  He yanked his hands out. “Nothing. What kind of guy do you take me for?”

  She folded her arms. “The kind of guy who forces me to stand out here like a ninny because he’s ‘happy to see me’.”

  Adrian rubbed his jaw. “Don’t worry, I’m getting less happy by the minute.”

  “Good,” she said, searching for another way to needle him. “Because you should encourage Ken to stop smoking. And I didn’t want to say anything, but did you know your coat doesn’t really fit your trousers? The color is a shade off as well as the cut.”

  He turned. “Okay, we can go back inside now.”

  “Great,” Caryn said, sashaying in front of him, pleased her nagging worked. She threw a naughty grin over her shoulder. “I’ll tell you the color of my new panties later,” she said.

  But Adrian wasn’t in the mood to wait and they never made it back to the ballroom.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Hazel looked at her son, trying to ignore the dark fire in his gaze as they sat across from each other in her dining room. The late afternoon sun seemed too scared to enter the room, leaving them in a dim haze, dulling the sight of her glass table and pastel colored centerpiece of fake fruits. “I know I’m beautiful,” she said after a long moment, “but you don’t have to keep staring at me like that.”

  He blinked.

  “I was protecting you.”

  He ran his finger along the table.

  “What did Monica tell you?”

  He drummed his fingers.

  “I’m talking to you,” Hazel said losing patience. “At least say something.”

  He glanced away. “Is the piano still out of tune?”

  She looked at the upright piano in the family room. “I don’t know.”

  He stood up, sitting down on the bench and hit a key.

  “Adrian—”

  “Yes, it’s still out of tune. Why even keep it if you’re not going to care for it?”

  “You’re the only one who played it.”

  He struck a chord. “It sounds awful.”

  “It doesn’t sound that bad to me.”

  He closed the lid. “You shouldn’t have interfered.”

  Hazel rubbed her hands under the table, glad he was ready to talk. “I thought it was best.”

  He spun around. “For who? For me? Did you once think about how you made her feel? What did you say to her?”

  “Don’t stand up for her. She should have told you the truth about her mother.”

  H
e rested back against the piano. “It wouldn’t have made a difference.”

  “It should.”

  “So you told her to leave me?”

  “I told her to set you free.”

  “I—”

  “Do you remember the box?”

  He turned back to the piano and lifted the lid.

  Hazel knew he was shutting her out, but she wouldn’t let him succeed. “I do, because that’s where we found you. Malnourished, dehydrated inside of a wooden box where my sister kept you. I went through one month of hell because my sister kidnapped my son—my baby—and wanted him for herself. Your father and I struggled to get our little boy back to health, stopping him from eating until he was sick, keeping the light on in his room because darkness scared him, but what scared him more was being locked in a room or any small spaces.”

  Adrian tapped his finger along the piano keys. “That has nothing to do with Caryn.”

  “I know what it’s like to have a family member you constantly have to watch and worry about. Although we didn’t press formal charges, we had to make arrangements for someone to look after her. I know how it can strain one’s health and marriage. There were so many times your father and I fought because of my sister. Love can lead to resentment. I didn’t keep you safe once, I’ll never let that happen again.”

  He stood and returned to the table. “Mom, what happened to me wasn’t your fault.” He gathered her hands in his then gently said, “When will you forgive yourself?”

  Tears choked her voice. “I don’t think I can.”

  “Remember when I couldn’t go to sleep how you’d sing ‘Yellow Bird’?”

  She stiffened and pulled her hands free. “I never sang you that song. She did.”

  He frowned. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m certain.” She sighed. “But I can’t blame you for not remembering correctly, you were only a child.”

  “Exactly, and I’m a man now. You don’t have to worry about me.”

  She reached up and touched his cheek. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Then give it some time. You don’t need to rush things.”

  “I’ve waited eight years.”

  Hazel let her hand fall in defeat. “No matter what I say, you’re still determined to marry her?”

  He nodded.

  “Then do one thing for me first.”

  “What?”

  “Tell her to take you to her mother’s house.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  He should confront her.

  Adrian stood in front of Ken’s apartment door, knowing he should be talking to Caryn, but he wasn’t ready yet. It had been two weeks since the spring gala and their time together had been like heaven to him. As spring gave way to summer, they’d spent every moment they could together—discussing the simple wedding ceremony they’d have, even though they still hadn’t pinned down a date; making arrangements around his apartment for when she moved in.

  She’d surprised him one evening when he’d come home and found her laying on her side on top of his piano wearing a gold colored teddy and thigh-high lace stockings.

  “Play something for me,” she’d said in a low purr.

  He sauntered over to her in measured steps as if afraid if he moved too fast the dream would disappear. Caryn had never been this playful before. In front of him was a whole new woman. Yes, that was the difference. She was a confident, sexy woman who knew the power of her body and his weakness for it. And that knowledge didn’t bother him a bit. Because the years had also taught him a few things.

  He slid his hand up her leg, his voice deepening. “I’d rather play you.”

  “I’m a complicated instrument.”

  “Any instrument can be mastered.”

  She sat up. “It takes practice.”

  He pulled her towards him. “I plan to start now,” he said then swept her into his arms. And he’d been practicing every day since.

  “Thank you for forgiving me,” she’d told him one evening after they’d finished a bath together and lay in bed.

  “You’ve already said that.”

  “I can’t say it enough.”

  But he didn’t just want her to be grateful. He wanted her to know how much it was destiny. That Halloween night hadn’t been a mistake, it had been one of true magic. But not by a spell that could be broken. It was something stronger than that. A love that knew no bounds, that couldn’t be battered by time. One day he wanted her to surrender to the fact that she’d tried to run from something they both couldn’t escape.

  His mother and her aunt had tried to separate them and failed. He remembered telling her there was no need to apologize anymore and holding her ringed hand in his wanting to say, ‘don’t let anyone steal you away from me again. Trust me no matter what,’ but since words seemed inadequate, he just held her close.

  When they weren’t in bed, they were enjoying other adventures.

  Last weekend he and Caryn had even gone indoor rock climbing, although Caryn had initially been terrified. He’d made the suggestion just to tease her, but she’d surprised him by saying yes.

  With his coaxing and support she’d made it to the top and cheered when she reached it. The look on her face still made him smile. And when she was on the ground again, she’d hugged him and said, “I’m so glad I did this with you,” making him suddenly eager to make more memories with her to make up for the time lost.

  He hadn’t told her about the conversation he’d had with his mother. He hadn’t asked her to show him her mother’s place. Part of him wanted her to volunteer, but she didn’t and that worried him and made him wonder if he could lose her again.

  If his mother had been able to make her doubt him once, could she convince her again?

  But what troubled him most was why. Why hadn’t she told him the full truth? Why had she still not told him? What was she afraid of? Why didn’t she trust him?

  He needed to sort out his thoughts, which was why he’d told Caryn he’d be busy the next couple of days, and ended up on a Saturday afternoon on his best friend’s doorstep.

  “Still in the mood to break my fingers?” Ken said when he opened the door.

  In the background Adrian heard a Portuguese hip hop song playing, smelled the sweet scent of coconuts and sugar, and noticed a red high heel shoe under a glass side table in the foyer. “You have company?”

  Ken looked down and swore, grabbing the shoe. “How did I miss that? She’s going to want to come back.”

  “And you don’t want that?” Adrian said, stepping inside.

  Ken held the shoe by it’s heel and spun it around. “This woman is scary.”

  Adrian walked to the living room. “I told you one nighters are dangerous.”

  Ken grabbed a remote and turned the music off. “She wasn’t. I’d been eying her for a while, but she’s a little too wild for me.”

  Adrian walked towards the coconut smell, which led him to the kitchen. “What are you working on?” he asked, noticing the tray of coconut covered cookies, cooling on a tray.

  Ken couldn’t stop a smile. “I’ve outdone myself.” He pointed then ducked his head and feigned a look of humility. “Come on. Ask me how good these are.”

  Adrian leaned against the counter. “How good are they?”

  Ken stood to his full height and held up his hands as if he expected applause. “These are smack-your-mama good.”

  Adrian picked one up and took a bite. Soft, chewy sweetness melted in his mouth. He groaned and closed his eyes. “Sorry Mom, but I’m going to have to hurt you.” He looked at his friend, gave him a high-five, and in an instant any residual bad feelings fell away.

  Adrian grabbed two more cookies then took a seat in the living room. “When did you start smoking again?”

  “Why?” Ken asked, setting two small bottles of apple juice on the coffee table.

  “Caryn wants me to ask you to quit.”

  Ken grinned,
sitting in front of him. “I did it to tick her off.”

  “And where did you get the smokes?”

  “Swiped them off a guy who didn’t need them for a while. What?” Ken said when Adrian lifted his brows in shock. “He didn’t notice and I gave them right back.”

  Adrian shook his head. “You’re not that cool, try again.”

  “Okay. I knew she’d come looking for me, so I asked a friend.”

  He nodded. “That’s better.”

  Ken watched Adrian finish another cookie, then said, “So, aside from enjoying the taste of my genius, what brings you here?”

  Adrian sat back and rested his hand on the back of the couch. “It’s my mom.”

  Ken’s good humor died, his brown gaze shifting to concern. “There’s something wrong with her?”

  “No, I talked to her and… My mom knew about...” He ran a hand down his face, searching for the right words. “She talked to Caryn before the wedding and convinced her not to marry me.”

  Ken swore; Adrian nodded.

  “Why?” Ken asked.

  “Something to do with Caryn’s mother.”

  Ken winced then shook his hand as if he’d touched something hot. “Ooh a woman with mother issues. That’s bad. Maybe your mother’s right.”

  “About what?’

  “We all know mother-in-laws can be hellish, but a crazy mother in law? That’s an entire new dimension.”

  The doorbell rang. Ken jumped up and checked the peephole. “Damn it’s her.”

  “Red shoe?”

  “Yeah.” He made an impatient motion with his hand. “Toss it to me.”

  Adrian threw the shoe at him. “Want me to disappear?”

  “No, this won’t take long.” He opened the door, but not wide enough for Adrian to see who the young woman was. “Hi,” he said and the young woman replied so low that Adrian couldn’t hear. “Yeah, you left this… No, nothing happened… Uh…right. Of course. Sure. Bye.” He closed the door.

 

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