She was pacing, back and forth outside of it, gaining a stockpile of attention, and running a mark into the dirt.
It brought to mind so immediately the memory of seeing Cyric pacing in the throne-room, waiting for me to come back from speaking with Molec, that I felt a wave of longing, then guilt—both of which she caught, causing her to look up in my direction.
Her expression was very much the same as his as well; like she might kill me off herself, or lock me up. She'd heard all of my assertions to Minstrel as soon as I'd allowed them to the surface.
Unfortunately it was her own self she was blaming now; for not coming with me to Byako.
I walked forward and she jerked her head down angrily.
I sent her apologies and she snorted.
When I touched her nose, her expression narrowed, falling to sorrow.
I'd tried to tell her I was sorry so many times—for all she had to bear because of me. I did so now, but she dismissed them. The thing that bothered her was that she wasn't able to stop it, she couldn't hide this from me. It frustrated her endlessly, so I mostly tried to keep my feelings compartmentalized from her. For this and other reasons.
She wanted to know now what had set me off to thinking along such lines as I had. And while I didn't have an answer to give her, apart from what seemed obvious to me, the one bit of my journey to Byako that I didn't expound on involved the grove outside the city, and the boat-ride back—even my tour this morning.
CYRIC:
The room given to me by the Yanartians was small and not my own. Right now three other recruits were asleep inside of it; I stood at its window, looking at darkness and hearing silence. It was the strangest sensation, after so long in Akadia. Even when I'd fought in the wars, our camps at night had constantly shifted with sound.
But the differences between Akadia and Yanartas weren't what I was thinking about. I was replaying everything from this morning, still thinking of standing in the square and hearing her voice when I'd thought she was really gone.
I'd heard her talking before that, with Estrid the captain and Lucian Denathar. About the Black Tortoises. I'd been wondering before then, whether she had gone to all of the Constellation Animals by now; it was certainly the first thing I'd expected her to do when she returned to Yanartas. I'd learned well enough in Byako that the Echrians had joined her in part, and of course the White Tigers had.
Lox wouldn't be pleased if he ever saw one of them for himself...
But now that I'd gotten a look at the Yanartian forces, Byako included, my concern was great to say the least. I couldn't imagine now, how I'd ever considered going to Kanth. Yanartas was still so outnumbered—and how many of them were new recruits such as myself? Whereas Akadia was a polished force. And Lox... I had yet to meet the heads of the Cirali Warriors, but I doubted any of them matched his skill in strategy.
Certainly they must have guessed that Lox didn't care if they attacked Karatel? I wanted to think they did, but I'd heard the stories in Byako. They hadn't guessed as much when they'd retaken Selket. They'd thought it was an actual blow to Akadia, a sign of superior strength—just as Lox had likely planned. It wouldn't make sense otherwise that Lox hadn't sent more soldiers to defend it.
At the same time, the Cirali Warriors must have had some sort of spies in Akadia, or Karatel at least—so shouldn't they be aware how outnumbered they were? It was all fine so long as they didn't plan to attack Akadia directly. But the fact was I didn't have any idea what they were planning. And I wouldn't, unless I found a way myself. Also, it wouldn't matter what I knew unless someone would listen to my advice about it.
I was still glad I'd kept my identity a secret. I thought it was certain they wouldn't trust anything I had to say as Cyric Dracla. Even Ellia, I wasn't sure she would believe I wasn't working for Lox. What did she think of me?... I had no idea. I didn't mind so much not knowing that as not knowing what she thought of the things I'd done. Freeing Nain, or the Behemoths. She must know about Kraehe; everyone did. Why couldn't I read what she felt about any of this?
Maybe what I'd said to Silos was true; maybe she really was better off now that I was gone. I didn't want to ruin that, but I couldn't let her be in danger either. Not from Akadia. I would have to find a way to stay close to her, whether I deserved it or not.
Chapter Ten
CYRIC:
I didn't go to the training platform I was assigned to. I asked where it was, and I asked who led the recruits on it, but no one seemed to know. No one seemed to know who would be leading what, when anywhere. From what I could tell, training was rotated, sometimes led by Cirali Warriors, sometimes visiting Byakoan officers, sometimes high-ranking foreigners. It was nothing like Akadia and thus utterly frustrating to me—but taking into consideration that it had all begun only weeks ago, it was in actuality acceptable, if not impressive.
I considered going up to find her in the higher complexes myself, formulating potential excuses, but then my break came. It seemed there was no telling when she might come to train in regular disciplines, but archery was something she oversaw often.
So I signed up to join that section—easily gaining entry in the trial they required—and by the second session the following day, our silver-haired Yanartian instructor was relieved by the princess of Shaundakul.
I watched her exchange a word with him, still dressed in her full Warriors garb, still with her hair braided back. I stood in a line of a dozen other men, two women, all of us set with bows and with targets ahead of us. I was near the far end, giving me a woeful view of the strict attention she gained from the men the moment she stepped up.
She began with an introduction of course, and was half-way through stating her rank (which I was actually interested to know) when her gaze fell on me.
Her voice cut off completely. While initially I narrowed, uncertain of the reaction; the longer she stared the closer I got to smiling. She hadn't forgotten me. And she hadn't stopped to stare at anyone else either.
She cleared her throat and spoke on. "Well, if you're here you should already know what to do then," she announced, never finishing her title, "I'll go through the signals and you'll need to try and fire in time. After that you'll do standalone practice. If you're new, you'll notice that the make of the bows are different than what you've used before. That's because they're Cirali weapons; they're made from special wood, and with... well, anyways if you need help, I'll be here, you can ask me then. For now just concentrate on the signals. We'll start with focus marks."
She stepped up ahead of our line—where we'd all have a good view of her, and I smiled when she looked at me again. Then she went on to show us the signals and when it got to readying fire, I pulled back hard, fully prepared to outshoot everyone else and impress her. But before she could tell us to fire a realization hit me. That if I did outshoot the others, proving myself a perfect marksmen, then I wouldn't gain much attention from my instructor. Whereas if I was terrible, I'd have every excuse to ask for special assistance.
It wasn't easy for me. In the end I landed myself somewhere in the middle, confident that I could still get her to help me when asked. But my arm literally ached afterwards, like my body was rebelling against the degradation of it. It was particularly painful when Ellia considered the shot with only a grudging glance.
We went on like that for another half-hour and I wasn't rewarded until it came time to practice individually—and I was chosen as the third person that she lent her attention to.
She waited for me to look at her before speaking; I suspected to confirm that I was the same Kanthian she had met before. Then she nodded to my bow, while the sound of launching arrows continued around us. "You could have mentioned archery in the grove. You aren't terrible at everything after all."
I didn't mind this and I didn't mind, especially, being so near to her after two days apart. "It's one of those things they do a lot of in Kanth," I admitted honestly, and then, reminding myself that I was meant to need her help, I said, "But
they're all experts there—I'm not nearly as good as I should be."
"You got in to this section straight-off," she argued. "That in itself is impressive." She looked over at my target, narrowing enough to make me think she might be wondering if my aim was sufficient to get me past the tryouts.
"I'm not consistent," I informed her quickly.
She blinked at me.
"I... do better at some times then poorly at others. That's why I'm not very good."
She frowned, then put on a small smile. "Well, you're better than I could do, but if you like, I could show you some tricks for using the Cirali bows."
I nodded gratefully.
She took a glance at the archers around her and, confident that they were all still practicing well, she turned her full attention back to me. She held her hand out for my bow. But when I stretched it towards her, instead of taking it, she just touched her fingers to the bronze handle at its center. "You might normally grip with your thumb straight there, but try tucking it back around the outer edge instead. It's because Cirali weapons are more slippery than other sorts. Sometimes your hold can come loose."
"Does that have to do with what you were saying before?" I asked.
She frowned.
"At first," I explained. "You were talking about the type of wood used to make them, and then you were going to say something else."
She looked up at me, then down at the bow, then back at me. "Well, yes," she admitted. "I was..." she cleared her throat, gesturing to the bow again. "It is a special type of wood. It only grows on Yanartas. All the people here make them for the Warriors. The bronze is normal enough, but you see how it shines, and the wood too how it's golden?"
I nodded, watching her and not the bow, while she studied up and down it. "That's a special polish it's covered in, made from the sap of the trees. That's why it can be particularly slippery, but it also helps to strengthen the materials, and with bows, it improves speed." She traced two fingers along the string of the bow, then held them up for my inspection. "See you can tell if you touch it along certain places. It even has its own smell."
She took an experimental sniff herself, then looked as if she were about to offer me the same test, but upon glancing over my mask, thought better of it.
"Well, anyways, make sure to grip it extra firm, and you should do even better with a Cirali bow than the ones you've used before."
She stepped back and nodded for me to try it—once again pausing to look over the Warriors.
I brought the bow up, fitting it with an arrow, but giving my full attention to seeing whether she meant to walk off now or not. Instead, her gaze shifted back to me, and then she lifted her hand up to move my thumb. "No, like this," she corrected casually. But then the moment she'd touched my skin, she hesitated, her fingers frozen. And then instead of shifting my thumb around, she ran hers up and down my skin, very shortly, obviously experimental. Her eyes snapped to me; they went wide and she stepped back. "I'm—"
I hoped she didn't plan to apologize again, but...
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—..."
I shook my head, wishing there was a way I could wipe the horror from her features. "It's fine. It's not a big deal."
Her frown deepened and I could hardly bear the sight—even though I wasn't doing well at breathing steadily myself.
"It hardly ever happens," I added lightly, "Someone touching me, I mean. It's not so bad."
I didn't think stupider words had ever left my mouth. But I was much more concerned with keeping her from being afraid of me, than freaking out over the fact that she couldn't even bear to touch me. I'd already known that.
Besides it was true; it had felt amazing.
I forced the knot down my throat and moved my thumb around the edge. "Like this then?" I asked. I strung up an arrow and let out a shot, purposefully improving its form to show she'd helped.
She was narrowing on me still, but when I looked back at her with a forced smile she couldn't see, pretending to be hopeful about her approval, she looked to my target. Her expression didn't change much, just a slightly deeper narrow, then she looked back at me. "Yes, that's perfect Cole," she said.
Then she backed away and walked off to another recruit down the line. I watched her with features so concerned and my gaze so focused that I gained an almost instant headache. I set my bow down, then I turned back ahead, absently stretching and un-stretching my fingers.
It was only then that I actually noticed my shot. The arrow was so embedded into the target that its shaft appeared shorter than the ones around it. And it stuck out from the innermost circle of gold. I'd hit it dead in the middle. A perfect bull's-eye.
ELLIA:
There was really no point in even attempting to prevent it. No matter where I went to help with training, Cole was there. Most of the time he was present before I even arrived. Once when I was teaching swordplay, he was nowhere to be seen, but then by the time I'd come to the end of the line or recruits, passing them out weapons, he was holding his hand out. Then another, I'd been on my way to assist one of the Byakoan trainers, and I'd run into him crossing the opposite way. He stopped to ask me a question about the Isle, and then he'd just gone on walking with me, acting as if he'd been already assigned to train where I was going.
It became a bit of a challenge—trying not to choose where I would train next until the last minute, just to see if he could manage to find me there. And it seemed to mean I was training much more often than I had before; more with the foreigners, less with the Warriors.
I still had meetings of course, and once Luffie and I had to fly to Selket to meet with a representative of both Carceron's and Cheng's, the latter of which had hopes of asking the Vermillion Birds for assistance before we would have the chance to go to confirm whether the Black Tortoises would join us. It wasn't that Cheng expected the Vermillion Birds to actually fight; he wanted to request their special fires from them, in the same form they'd granted to me as a pledge. He sighted the grounds of their Constellation Animal connection (which he was never shy about bragging) and he sighted a plan of his own that he'd come up with, that the Vermillion Bird's fire could be used against the lead launching machines that the Akadians used to keep the chimera from using their fire-breath.
Carceron's representative left with promises to take the matter back to his leaders; otherwise it was a pleasant journey for me, since it meant I got to see Nain and Selkie, who'd settled now in Selket, where they would be closest to their homeland.
But one unperceived side-effect of the journey was how much time it gave Luffie to focus into my thoughts, thus finding quite a lot of Cole, whose behavior she subsequently deemed suspicious.
So when we arrived back in Yanartas, after meeting with the Warriors over my trip, I went down to the lower complex to actually seek Cole out myself. I'd then led him without much explanation outside the city walls. Then the poor Kanthian had jumped a foot when Luffie had landed almost directly on top of him.
"She won't hurt you," I consoled, arms crossed, trying not to laugh while the entire top half of his body craned back as she sniffed close to him. "I thought you would like to see one up close, since you've asked so much about them. And they hardly ever go down to the base of the city, do they?"
Luffie snorted, still focused on Cole, but sending me an image of the crowded base of the city, as opposed to the open skies surrounding the upper complex.
"She thinks it's too crowded where you sleep," I translated for her.
She took a twirl, throwing a careful glare at me, not liking that I'd shared her thoughts.
"Yes, well," Cole managed, still ragged with his tone, "Tell her I'm in agreeance."
Luffie dipped back from Cole, running her eyes up and down him.
"She wants to know why you stay there then," I translated aloud, but then I answered for Cole myself. "I told her you're here to fight Akadia."
This wasn't exactly true. In effect it was.
But, what I'd really told her w
as as much as I'd learned myself from Cole. Learned, and partly guessed; all on this same field the first day of our tour. How he'd said that Akadia had taken something from him. How it was likely that they'd invaded Kanth just the same as so many lands to the west—long before Akadia had even touched Shaundakul. How I suspected that Cole had lost someone dear to him in the process (whether a family member, or a friend, or a lover). How he was the same as me in that respect.
Luffie gave a grudging snort at the images I sent her, then she wanted me to ask him how he'd gotten scars on his hands.
I looked him over, considering it. He was still just staring at her, body craned back. I liked a little the deference it showed at least. I wanted to know as well. But I told her I wouldn't. She growled, and he must have taken it as his own fault, because he ducked back, bowing his head lower, which caused me to smile.
She wanted next for me to ask if the scars covered more of him. I told her I certainly wouldn't. Her next request gave me much longer pause. Finally I decided I would ask it, but I kept my tone careful.
"She wants to know if you'll show your face to her if I'm not there."
Cole looked my direction, and I expounded. "Just the two of you alone. No other humans."
Cole turned back to Luffie, who'd moved so that her body was side-ways to him, giving a full view of her wings.
"Wouldn't that be the same as showing you?" Cole asked, still watching her. "Can't you see her thoughts?"
I narrowed in disappointment, while Luffie shot me an almost immediate glare for it. Cole followed her gaze and I swallowed guiltily. "That's right," I confirmed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. She's only worried about whether to trust you. But don't take offense. She worries about everyone."
Luffie stomped in a twirl, flushing her wings. I came up beside her, resting my hand on her shoulder. Cole took a step back as she bobbed her head against me. "You don't have to be afraid of her," I told him, frowning. "She wouldn't hurt you unless you did something wrong. Something evil, I mean."
Fallen Warrior (Fallen Trilogy book 3) Page 18