by K J Bell
A giant smile appeared across Layken’s sun-kissed cheeks as she looked wide-eyed towards the door.
“Oh my!” she gushed.
Looking up to see the reason for her girlish trance, I gushed too. There he was, in the doorway, even more gorgeous than at lunch, his perfect swoon-worthy grin stretching his face. What was he doing here?
Duh, he draws, dummy and this is art class.
God! My subconscious was even more annoying today than usual.
He was chatting with a male student who was giving him a friendly punch in the shoulder, appearing to be teasing him about something. Looking over at Layken, I realized I was not the only girl mesmerized by Brent Cassidy.
“He’s so hot!” she raved, dragging the word hot across her lips as though she was singing it.
“Do you know him?” I asked curiously.
“No. Not really. He just moved back to town over the summer. He lives down the street from me. He’s really intense and hard to talk to. I think he stayed back a grade or something. When you try to talk with him though, it’s like he’s so much older, but it’s hot,” she explained smiling. “He’s totally dreamy though, right? I mean, drool city. He’s so not interested in me or anyone else around town for that matter. We all think he has a girl he left behind that he’s hanging on to,” Layken finished, annoyance dripping from her tongue as she spoke about Brent. Rejection was obviously something that Layken was not used to receiving.
“Huh?” was my only reply.
Was that jealousy eating up my insides right now? I pictured him in his room Skyping with some super-model girlfriend miles away, turning to his calendar and marking an x on today’s date, counting the days until he saw her again. Yup, he had definitely been letting me know he was designed for someone else…or not. Wow! I was seriously losing it. I slapped myself mentally.
You really are a freak.
Entering the room, he glanced my way, shooting me a quizzical smile. He stopped in front of my table and said, “Hey Blake, I didn’t expect to see you here, but I’m glad I did. I wanted to see if you could help me with my chemistry sometime. It’s the one class I have a hard time with. Would you mind?”
His question took me by surprise and I sat there looking at him dumbfounded.
You put the words together and you speak, stupid. It’s really not that hard.
“No,…umm…not at all. I can meet you sometime after school if you want,” I finally offered, wiping my hands across my jeans, realizing they were sweaty with nerves.
“Great, thanks so much Blake.” He winked before passing and sitting at a table a few rows back.
Turning to look at Layken, I laughed as she sat open-mouthed; staring as though she was frozen. I waved a hand in front of her face to get her to move again.
“Wow!” was all she said, and then burst into giggled laughter.
Pondering Brent’s request, I became agitated. Of course, the pull I felt was not what he was feeling. He was simply being nice to me so he could get an easy A in chem. Stupid came to mind in reference to myself for my thoughts that any interaction with him was anything more. Idiot also came to mind. How could I have possibly thought for a second he would be interested in the freaky girl, from the even freakier family? He was gorgeous and I was, well, I was me. It would be better this way though. Perhaps I was designed to be his chem tutor and nothing more.
Now you’re just being a brat!
The rest of class went by rather quickly. Layken was very nice to me, suggesting that we should hang out sometime. She told me about her trip to Hawaii with her family over the summer, asking me if I had ever been. I had not, which was remarkable considering I lived in just about every other state. I wondered if my parents were still alive if we might have moved to Hawaii at some point. She told me how blue the water was, and how she had wanted to parasail but chickened out as soon as they got to the boat. I misjudged her initially – putting her in a category of girls I assumed would not like me. Shutting people out was a weakness of mine and something I needed to work on.
Layken and I exited class together chatting. Brent caught up with us.
“Hey, Blake, mind if I walk you to your next class?” he asked me, flashing a smile that made my knees tremble. I had to look away before someone had to call the janitor to mop me off the floor.
Hearing Layken giggle, I looked up at her astonished face.
“Hey, I’ll see you tomorrow, Blake,” she teased, turning down the hall with a wave, mouthing OMG. I chuckled at her calling me Blake. I was really going to like Layken.
“Sure, I have history,” I finally replied to Brent.
“Me too. Shall we?” Brent encouraged, gesturing toward the hall for me to join him. He held his arm out for me to take, which I did, trying to keep my smile to a minimal grin. The realization of another class with Brent had my inner teenager doing cartwheels. Knowing I was becoming comfortable with being near him had my sub conscious screaming, run, stupid! My subconscious really needed to pipe down and let my inner teenager play!
Brent and I made our way casually through the hall. I was laughing and talking so normally with him – a boy. Wrapping my head around how at ease I was with him was difficult. A few girls passed by giving Brent huge smiles while tossing me dirty looks. Hearing whispering all around, I could feel the stares burning holes into the two of us. I was sure Brent had to be aware of it. My heart raced as he ignored the pettiness in the air and pulled me closer, placing his hand over mine, on his arm. I looked at the floor to avoid eye contact with him, afraid my cheeks would blaze garnet looking at him smile. Clumsily bumping into someone, I felt the force of the person pushing me back.
“Hey, watch where you’re going, freak!” I heard a male voice shout.
I stumbled, thankfully catching myself before I fell. Holding my backpack in my hands, I glared furiously at the sight of my attacker. A large, blonde haired boy, at least six feet tall, wearing cargo khaki shorts and a polo shirt was in front of me. His eyes were aimed at me and they didn’t look friendly.
Before I had the chance to apologize, Brent was in front of him, right in the boy’s face. They were so close I thought Brent could have felt his breath. Before I could shout, “Brent, no!” he yelled out. “What the hell is wrong with you, Logan? Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?”
“Screw you, Brent. The girl’s a freak, like the rest of her family,” Logan growled back to Brent, his eyes so dark they were almost black.
Watching Brent tighten his fists at his sides, I was sure he was going to throw a punch. He screamed through his clenched jaw. “If you ever touch her again, Logan, I’ll be the one to teach you some manners, you got that?” He yelled so ferociously that spit escaped his mouth after stressing each word to make his point.
Logan backed down, starting back up the hall, mumbling something under his breath about the Blakes and the weird shit going on in my aunt’s house.
Brent cursed at him once more. “Leave her alone Logan. I mean it!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Logan called back, before disappearing into the crowd of students.
Brent turned to face me and again I found myself drinking in the sight of him. I noted his size, realizing he never seemed large to me, but he was at least two inches taller than Logan, and was much bigger through the shoulders. I was sure he could handle Logan, but I didn’t like the image. I was thankful he was there but more than a little annoyed he thought I was incapable of dealing with Logan myself.
“You didn’t need to do that, Brent. I could’ve handled it,” I scolded as he looked away silently.
Looking down at me, his eyes were dark and icy, and it scared me a little. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “I had to protect you, Claire. He put his hands on you and I didn’t like it.”
“I don’t need you to protect me, okay? I can take care of myself, you know!” I hissed at him, sounding a little angrier than I meant to, which was not his fault. I lived my whole life with my crazy parents always ‘
protecting me’. Now that they were gone, I wanted to be rid all of that. I was almost eighteen for heaven’s sakes. I could protect myself.
Registering the anger on my face, Brent put his index finger under my chin, forcing my eyes to look at him. My body filled with heat, my cheeks burning once again, so much so I actually felt the heat rising from them.
“I’m sorry, Claire. Perhaps I did overreact. I couldn’t stand it if he hurt you, okay?” he said with a question of forgiveness in his voice. How could I not forgive him the way he was looking at me?
With a quick shift to avoid his gaze I murmured, “No problem,” moving toward the door for history. Brent followed.
After history, Brent walked me to my next class even though we didn’t share it. When we passed Logan in the halls, Brent placed a gentle hand on the small of my back steering me past him while addressing Logan with a protective glare. His smiling face greeted me when class was over, and I nearly ran into the girl in front of me, unable to take my eyes off of Brent. There was something about him that relaxed me and made me completely unaware of anything going on around us. I had yet to decide if it thrilled or terrified me.
Arriving at my last class of the day, I felt surprisingly uneasy about it, which promptly turned into pure terror when I saw Logan sitting in the middle of the room. He was speaking with a group of boys, carrying on about a football game. I heard one of the boys going on and on about what an awesome catch Logan had made last Friday.
“Dude, it was beast!” the kid shouted impulsively.
God, his behavior was deplorable. He was so over the top kissing Logan’s rear that I actually felt sorry for him. Logan kept patting his pumped up chest, laughing and soaking it up entirely. His laughter halted and his jaw went taut when he turned to the door, catching me staring at him. He nearly leveled me with his sinister glare.
Brent slipped in front of me blocking Logan’s view.
“He’s just showing off. Don’t worry about it. But you should stay away from him. He’s not stable,” Brent warned. There was an odd territorial tone to Brent’s voice and I wasn’t sure why but I liked it. He really didn’t need to warn me though. I planned to sit as far from Logan as possible.
“I mean it,” he whispered protectively, causing my insides to tingle. “I’ll see you after class, okay?”
“Okay,” I whispered back, trying to hide how elated I felt knowing I would see him again shortly.
When the bell sounded, the kids all took their seats. The only empty spot was next to Logan, who looked almost amused that the universe hated me so much. The class went by quicker than I expected, and while Logan tormented me with his inky stare for most of it, he didn’t speak to me.
It had been a very interesting first day, more memorable than any before it, and I had many. My chest still ached from where Logan pushed me and my cheeks still burned from all of the blushing over Brent. I had so much to think about where he was concerned. I never had feelings for a boy, ever, which was how I knew without a doubt, that I was developing feelings for Brent Cassidy, the extent of which were beginning to alarm me.
Class was over, and my excitement fizzled when Brent wasn’t waiting for me. He said he would see me after class, and with his dislike for Logan, I just assumed he would be there promptly.
Exiting class, I felt a sharp shove to my shoulder as Logan made a point to push me, asserting his strength. He was glaring at me with incomprehensible rage and snarling, almost animal-like.
I rolled my eyes, annoyed with Logan’s juvenile antics.
“What is your problem?” I snapped my mouth shut after spitting out the words without thinking, somehow feeling braver than I normally did.
Logan turned abruptly and faced me. I flinched.
“You’re my problem, freak,” he answered, laughing and slapping high fives with one of the boys in his adoring posse.
That was it! I was just about to tell Logan exactly what I thought of him when I heard Layken’s voice as she came strolling up beside me.
“Enough, Logan.”
Looping her arm in mine, she pulled me away from the school bully toward our lockers. He instantly backed away when Layken spoke. I heard him shouting something behind us, but it was muffled, absorbed into the chatter in the halls. When I turned to look at him, he was still watching me. His eyes stayed on me until Layken and I rounded the corner.
“Don’t even worry about him, Claire,” she advised. “He’s ridiculous.”
“I know he is,” I agreed. “I just wish I knew what I did to make him so angry. He doesn’t even know me.”
“You did nothing to make him mad. Logan was born pissed off, and you just happen to be his target of the day. That’s all,” she said, letting out a reassuring laugh.
“I guess I should thank you for showing up when you did,” I said, smiling at Layken, feeling the same peace I did this morning. Something about being around her soothed me. Another thing for me to envy, I supposed.
“No problem, girlie. I got your back,” she giggled, tossing her long strands of golden hair over her shoulder. “Now, tell me how you got that total hottie wrapped around your little finger.”
She was obviously referring to Brent but she was absolutely mistaken. “Oh, he’s nice, but it’s not like that. He needs a chemistry tutor, and he found out I was in an advanced class, that’s all.”
“Whatever you say,” she challenged. “But he looks at you like he wants a whole lot more than that.”
Was she right? The thought of him liking me made my skin feel tingly and sent goose bumps riding up my arms. I was way too insecure to think for a minute that he was actually interested in me. Brent had most of the girls in school falling over him. He could take his pick. He could have Layken if he wanted. There was no way he even considered me an option, but a small part of me hoped Layken was right. After Layken and I traded cell phone numbers I headed to the parking lot.
CHAPTER 4
“Spiritual partnership implies a goal of encouraging and supporting the unfolding of each other’s soul’s reasons for being here in the first place.” – Katherine Woodward Thomas
I sensed him before I saw him. As I turned, he was five feet from me, all blue-eyed and beautiful. “Hey Blake, wanna help me with chem? I’m free now,” Brent asked, smiling that cursed swoon-worthy smile as my cheeks filled with color once again. His gaze traveled over me waiting for a reply.
My brain was telling me to run but my body was betraying me. I knew I needed to process how I was feeling without his heat filling my head full of things that had no business being there. I thought if I sped up and got in the car, I could pull away and maybe he would think I didn’t hear him. Who was I kidding? Of course he knew I heard him.
“Hi Brent,” I mumbled, addressing him as he drew closer.
“Hey, sorry I missed you after class. I had to talk to Mr. Ryan about something,” he explained, closing the remaining distance between us. My heart did a little happy dance knowing he had planned to wait for me after class. “So, did you want to help me with chem, now?” he repeated.
I wanted to say yes so badly, but I needed time to contemplate.
“I would love to help you, but can we do it another day? I have a few things I need to help my aunt with today,” I lied, feeling lousy about it. Not just the lie, but the feeling of disappointment flowing through my veins.
His brows scrunched alerting me he was upset, like he was equally disappointed. I considered telling him I changed my mind, but chose not to. He smiled gently, his eyes bright blue.
“Okay Blake, another day then. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said looking at me as though he wanted me to reassure him.
“I’ll be there.” Nothing is going to keep me from seeing you again. I hoped I did not say the last half out loud. Brent gave a shy wave and walked away.
Exiting the overflow parking lot, I saw Brent in the lot across the street tossing his backpack into the driver’s side of a black truck. It was unexpected, consi
dering he had ran through the woods to school. Pulling up next to him, I rolled down my window.
“Hey, I thought you liked to hike through the woods to school, nature boy,” I teased, hoping he would be okay with it. I wasn’t sure if he was upset with me for not helping him with chemistry today.
Turning to face me, he laughed.
“Believe it or not, I actually don’t prefer that route to school, Blake. My truck was in the shop. My dad dropped if off after lunch for me,” he explained.
“Well, it’s nice to know I won’t have to worry about you attacking me again,” I laughed, continuing to tease him since he didn’t seem to be upset with me.
“Yes, Blake, you should be safe from now on,” he smiled.
“Oh, I’m so relieved.”
“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, climbing into the truck.
Can’t wait!
On the drive home I found myself talking about Brent. While sitting at a stop light, I looked over to a group of teenagers, and finally realized I was literally talking out loud. They were pointing and laughing at me. Mortified, I searched for my phone so I could pretend I was speaking with an actual person. Failing to find it before the light changed, I sighed with humiliation.
Having been completely wrapped up in thinking about Brent during the rest of my drive, I didn’t remember most of it. Again, I found myself hoping my parents weren’t looking down, watching me. Somehow I didn’t think driving while not looking at the road fell into the safe category.
Entering the house, I called for Maggie, but she didn’t answer. Assuming she had gone for a walk, I used the time to find something to cook. Maggie had been taking care of me all summer and I planned to return the favor by making a nice dinner. Subconsciously, I was probably using the impromptu meal as a distraction. I found chicken in the freezer and enough fixings for a decent salad in the refrigerator. Going about the task at hand, I put all thoughts of Brent aside. He was renting way too much space in my head at the moment.