by Katie Dowe
“He knows people who know people, or so I hear. Or he might know people. He used to boast a bit too much even then. But from what I understand, he has contacts at a few venues. He’s kind of like an event planner. Bigger places like the ones where you play, but you’re looking for bigger, aren’t you?”
Heidi told herself not to get carried away. She didn’t want false hope.
She’d had that before. She had been told by people that she had talent, that people could help her.
But none of them had wanted to help her. They had all seen a lovely young woman, innocent and trusting, and wanted to take advantage of her.
A few almost-famous people had asked her if she wanted to be in their bands.
They had wanted her to give them a little too much in return.
“Are you sure?”
“No I’m not. I haven’t spoken to him, not really, in a while. I mean, I did, but it was only in passing. But if he does have a way to get you a few good gigs, would you be interested?”
“Do pigs fly?” asked Heidi.
“I don’t believe they do,” drawled Christian.
“Well, I’m not a pig, and I’m not looking to fly, but I do sing. And I want to sing.”
Christian nodded.
“All right, so I’ll get in touch with Dale and see about getting you something. You might have to audition. Or something.”
He looked so flustered that she walked to him, kissed him, and slid onto his lap.
“I’ll audition. I’ve auditioned so many times, Christian. I’m glad for every opportunity. Even when you’re turned down, you learn something.”
“Nobody in their right minds would turn you down.”
She hugged him close.
“You are extremely good for my morale, Christian Sanders. This friend of yours, you can trust him, right? He’s not the creepy kind?”
Christian shook his head.
“If he were, I wouldn’t even have brought it up. I would have before, but I really didn’t think of him at all.”
He sounded apologetic that he hadn’t thought of helping her sooner.
Lord, this man was a gift.
“I’ll forgive you. Oh, it would be so incredible if it came to something. I’ve got a decent following on social media. My YouTube channel isn’t too bad. My originals get quite a bit of attention.”
“I know.”
She raised her eyebrows.
“Oh, you’ve been stalking me have you?”
Christian grinned.
“Nope, applying to be president of your fan club,” he teased her, and kissed her again.
Heidi could hardly believe how happy she was in that moment.
There was a sense of foreboding, telling her to enjoy it while it lasted. That nasty little voice told her that such good things didn’t last.
But she told it to shut up, and kissed Christian, pouring everything she felt – all the nerves, all that hope – into it.
Something new was beginning. She could enjoy it, for once.
So what if nothing came of Christian’s contact? Just knowing that he had thought of her enough to make that much effort was precious to her.
Because she knew that he hadn’t just happened to think of this friend, Dale, out of the blue. He must have been thinking of ways to help her.
She appreciated it, so much.
She appreciated him.
“Stay tonight,” she told him, between kisses.
She felt the hesitation in him.
But it didn’t feel like rejection.
“I wish I could,” said Christian, and she knew the regret was real.
“Can’t you?”
He kissed her again, long and sweet.
“I want to. But I need to be up and off by six in the morning. Even with your dog walking, you don’t get up that early, do you? I’ll need to be up at least half an hour before that, to get home and get ready.”
Regretfully, Heidi shook her head.
She wanted him to stay, but it wasn’t practical.
“Next time, you stay with me,” she whispered, kissing him again.
The kisses drew out longer, softer, deeper, and she felt herself melting into him.
It felt so right, to be held in his arms.
It felt safe.
His hand slid into her robe, and she felt that storm rising again.
“Really? Again?”
But she didn’t sound like she minded.
“If you can manage it,” he said, and swept her up into his arms.
His strength didn’t surprise her. But she loved it.
“Oh, I can,” she promised him.
They both managed just fine.
Chapter 6
The next couple of weeks seemed to fly by.
There was so much to do. Suddenly, she was singing a lot more.
Somewhere inside, Heidi decided that Christian was her lucky charm.
Her YouTube numbers were going up, too.
Mrs. Spinelli said she’d gotten better.
“Young love,” she teased again, and Heidi laughed.
“I have barely seen him in the last couple of weeks. He’s had some intensive training course to attend, for ten days.”
Mrs. Spinelli nodded.
“But of course, your young man needs to be in shape. Comes in handy, eh?”
The bawdy laugh that followed made Heidi grin and giggle, too.
“It’s not like that, Mrs. Spinelli. We’re friends.”
“Right. Friends who do the…”
“Have a cookie and stop, please! I baked fig center cookies. Here.”
Mrs. Spinelli obviously saw the ploy for what it was, but it worked, nonetheless.
“I think your lessons are helping, though,” said Heidi, and she nodded easily.
“You’ve improved. You’re singing from the heart now.”
But Heidi, as she said goodbye to her neighbor, dismissed that.
She wasn’t falling in love or anything. Mrs. Spinelli had always been a bit of a romantic. Heidi was just…
Well, she was having fun. Why shouldn’t she have some fun? She’d told Christian the honest truth – she hadn’t had any fun of this kind in about a year and a half. She was overdue for some fun.
So she was having it.
Heidi was getting ready to go and get the dogs when her phone rang. She couldn’t know that her eyes lit up when she saw that it was Christian.
“Hey! You’re back?”
“I am. I’ll be at the club tonight. You’re singing at Tunes, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am. There’s no prize money tonight, so I’ll probably win.”
“Well, maybe there’ll be something to win. Dale said he might be able to drop by.”
Everything froze inside Heidi.
“Dale? The guy who books a few biggish names, that Dale?”
“Yep, that Dale. So bring your A-game, Richards. See you tonight?”
Oh boy.
“Yes, see you tonight. I’ll… Should I sing an original?”
“I can’t tell you what to do, Heidi. You’re the expert. You have excellent instincts. Go with your gut, and it’ll be fine. You’re an incredible singer, Heidi. It will be fine. Trust me on that. I’ve got to go now. See you tonight, all right?”
“Okay,” said Heidi, and the line went dead.
Her first instinct was to run screaming across to Mrs. Spinelli’s and tell her everything.
Christian had just told her to follow her instincts, hadn’t he? She cut out the screaming bit, but ran across to the apartment.
“Heidi, whatever’s the matter?”
“Mrs. Spinelli! Dale, his friend, the one who books people! He’s coming tonight!”
“A cop is coming somewhere?”
Mrs. Spinelli looked positively alarmed.
Heidi shook her head furiously.
“No, the music guy. The one with the connections. Who might be able to get me a few paying gigs. Oh man, I’m gonna hyperventilate.�
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Mrs. Spinelli calmly got her a paper bag, making her laugh.
“Not really. But… Shit, I’m late for the dogs. I’ve got to go.”
“Come back, and we’ll figure it out. I’ll help you choose a dress, do your makeup, and we’ll choose a song. Don’t worry, Heidi. You’re the best I’ve ever trained.”
“You haven’t trained that many,” pointed out Heidi, a bit alarmed at the idea of Mrs. Spinelli doing her makeup. The older woman was not known for her subtlety.
“Enough to know you’re the best. Now go. You still need your dog money.”
She did indeed need it, so Heidi went, and got through the day.
Spending some time with dogs helped. They calmed her down.
They didn’t care if she had no money, and nobody paid to hear her sing. They didn’t even mind if she sang to them.
They were good dogs.
By the time she got back, she was feeling a lot better.
Still quaking in her boots a bit about Mrs. Spinelli doing her makeup – she was more nervous about that than singing, now – she went over to her apartment.
Makeup threats or not, she needed the help. She needed to pick the perfect song.
After a lot of back and forth, they narrowed it down to an original – You look at me, but do you see me – which was one of her best, and the Nina Simone classic she had knocked out of the park the last time she performed it.
“I think you should do the original, my dear,” said Mrs. Spinelli, finally.
But Heidi wasn’t sure.
“I don’t know. At least this one is recognizable. I mean, it’ll be easier for him to judge me if I sing something he probably knows, right? How will he know if I screw it up if it’s an original?”
Mrs. Spinelli laughed.
“My girl, that is exactly why you should sing your original! Besides, your heart is in that one. If he’s worth anything, if he knows his job, he will recognize that your heart is in it. That matters, does it not?”
Did it?
Heidi was a bundle of nerves by then.
“Use the nerves. Channel it. You always have an edge. Now become edgier. And none of that neutral makeup for you. My girl, you have the most beautiful skin and the most striking cheekbones, and those eyes! You need some color, to make it pop. Contour, highlight, use the bronzer. Don’t even think of the nude lipstick. Red – we want bright red tonight. And your hair, no bun. Wild and free, that’s what you should be tonight. No?”
She was being swept along on a tidal wave and there was no stopping it.
Resigned, she let Mrs. Spinelli do whatever she wanted to.
When she was done, she sat up – and she gasped.
“Wow,” she said.
It had taken twenty minutes, but the transformation was amazing.
Heidi knew she was lovely. But the trouble with that was that she had never learned how to play up her best features, or to look lovelier. She’d always been perfectly satisfied with some mascara, some lip gloss, and some blush.
Mrs. Spinelli had transformed her into something so much more compelling.
She had transformed Heidi into the kind of woman who would demand to be seen.
She knew, the moment their eyes met in the mirror.
“I’m singing the original.”
Mrs. Spinelli nodded in approval, her eyes shining with pride.
“Yes, you are. And you’re wearing my gown. The one you like.”
Heidi whirled around.
“I couldn’t!”
That gown was special. Mrs. Spinelli had made that very clear.
“Tonight is special. It’s the beginning of something new, and bold. Wear it, Heidi. The copper tones will go well with the makeup.”
“You planned that,” said Heidi, and Mrs. Spinelli nodded.
“I did. Now go, get changed. Let me see if I can find shoes that are good enough in your closet. You, my girl, have a criminal lack of interest in the tools of the battle of the sexes. You are in dire need of help and guidance…”
Mrs. Spinelli’s voice trailed off as she went into Heidi’s apartment.
Heidi got dressed, wearing the long dress with the slit high up one leg, all the way to the hip. It clung like second skin, and one shoulder was left bare.
She had to admit that Mrs. Spinelli was right.
She looked perfect.
Her neighbor came back, holding her red heels, and Heidi turned around.
For once, even Mrs. Spinelli seemed to have run out of words.
She simply walked to Heidi and hugged her.
“You look incredible, my lovely girl. There will not be a man who does not want you. There will not be a woman who will not envy you. Use that confidence, and all of those nerves, and give the performance of your life tonight. And tomorrow night, do even better.”
Heidi nodded.
“I will. I will, Mrs. Spinelli. I… Thank you. Thank you, for everything. Even if tonight comes to nothing… Even if he doesn’t get me a booking that I need, it will still be the night of my life. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”
Before they could get maudlin and she could ruin the carefully and masterfully applied makeup, Mrs. Spinelli shook her head.
“I couldn’t have done any of this if you hadn’t had the talent, or the will to work hard and succeed. Now, I don’t want to hear another word about tonight not being a success in every way. There shall be no defeatist attitude. You will impress this Dale, and he will offer you what he can. You will tell him that you must think about it. You will come back and tell me all about it. You will tell me how your young man looked at you. You will tell me if he saw you, like you sang for him to.”
Heidi nodded.
She would.
She would do all of that.
Her resolve hardened, and her spine straightened.
“I will. The performance of my life, Mrs. Spinelli. I wish you would come.”
She shook her head.
“When you have your name in lights, I will come,” she promised.
If only for that, Heidi would work harder than ever for that – to have her name in lights.
*****
Heidi wasn’t scared.
She was terrified.
She hadn’t seen Christian. That must mean that Dale wasn’t there, either.
No matter.
She was going to give the performance of her life, and she knew it.
Heidi walked onto the stage when it was her turn and she turned on the charm. She was an entertainer, and by God, she would entertain.
“So, ladies and gentlemen, I hope nobody has brought any turnips into the house?”
There was a titter, though not a chuckle.
So, a tougher crowd than usual. She could handle it.
“That’s great. Please, remember that if you break anything by throwing it at me, you will have to pay for it. Even if it’s my head, I’m a penniless singer and songwriter. I haven’t got any insurance.”
This time, there was real laughter.
“So, tonight, I’ll have to beg your patience for a few minutes because instead of singing one of Mariah Carey’s greatest, I’ll be singing an original. I hope very much that it will be worth your patience. But if it’s not, it’s my soul at stake. Just a few minutes for you. I’m not too sure which would be worth more. If there’re any lawyers in the house, your minutes might be worth more than my soul. Even on the black market. Which, by the way, I know nothing about.”
Now she had them.
So she let the band play, and she sang.
For the first ten seconds, she wasn’t sure how it might go.
But from the eleventh second, she knew that she had it.
So she sang, putting her very soul on the line as she’d said she would.
Every note, every syllable was wrenched from the deepest part of her.
Whatever happened, whoever heard or didn’t hear her, she knew that this was a part of her, and it would never be taken awa
y from her.
She didn’t feel afraid as she laid it bare.
She felt powerful.
When the last note finally died, there was absolute silence for the briefest of moment before she got the applause she had needed.
And it was real.
Every beat of it was as lovely as music, and it came from each of those hearts.
She didn’t question it.
Standing up, Heidi took a bow, and then another. And she knew that she’d had two nights where she’d owned it all, everything that every performer dreamed of.
No matter what, she had those memories. She would never give up as long as she had that.
Heidi got off the stage into a hug so warm that she felt like she was home.
“You were amazing,” said Christian.
“I didn’t see you here.”
“We got here as soon as you got started. You were amazing,” he said again.
Heidi looked up at him and thought, no. No, he was amazing. She had performed a good song and done it very well, but he was amazing.
In every way.
But he had taken her hand and was guiding her to a table that she hadn’t noticed earlier. That was strange, in itself. She always noticed everything about a room where she performed.
“Heidi, meet Dale Coulson. Dale, this is…”
“The goddess who just created a world all of her own in here,” said Dale, getting up charmingly and taking her hand.
He kissed the back of her hand, making her smile, amused.
“I won’t smite you. Unless you annoy me,” said Heidi, making him grin.
They sat down, got drinks, and he leaned towards her.
“Christian isn’t given to exaggeration. I remember that. But I didn’t know that there was such a gem singing here. You are incredible. I wish I had more to offer you.”
She smiled.
“Whatever you have, I’ll hear all offers.”
“I was going to ask you to audition, but I don’t need an audition. We’re looking for an opening act for a band you might have heard of. The Spinettes.”
She had. And she had thought that was the silliest name for four men in a band, but she could get past that because they were extremely well-known in the circuit.
They got paid for their music. They went on tour, too.
“I know their music. It’s a silly name, but a good band.”
Dale grinned.
“Well, I heard your sample, and now I’ve heard you. I think you’d do great as an opening act for them. They’ll be performing in a week. You know the place.”