Stark September (Stark Trilogy Book 1)

by C. D. Bradley

  Kira looked up from the paperwork on her desk as Holt walked stiffly into her office.

  “Captain Riley,” Holt’s voice sounded out, cold and clinical, “if you’re going to pursue training as a flight surgeon, you’ll need to report for Dunker training. Mine is scheduled in a few weeks. Do you think you’ll be ready for that?” Holt had been acting quite strangely the last few weeks. Kira wondered if he knew about her and Stark or if he was irritated that she had put in for an assignment as a flight surgeon. He hadn’t said anything outright but he seemed irritated with her most of the time.

  “Yes. Well, I think so.” Kira did her best to sound casual. The truth was she was terrified at the idea of a helicopter she was riding in crashing into the water. She knew that to be a flight surgeon she would have to be certified in emergency water egress. Given the alternative of figuring it out in during an emergency situation, she would rather be prepared. Panic was the enemy. Panic led to fatal mistakes that could be avoided. Kira knew that to be successful she would have to be calm, relaxed, put her own fears aside, and focus on the best way to achieve the task at hand. In this case, the task would be escaping a twisted metal cage and swimming to the surface without drowning. She attempted a smile. Holt relaxed somewhat.

  “It’s going to be fine,” he said. “You’re a strong swimmer. You can do this. If you want you can sign up for the same training that I am scheduled for. There are several other doctors going this time.” His tone had softened. He gave her a reassuring smile as he sat in the chair opposite her desk.

  “Thanks for the reassurance. But how do you know I am a strong swimmer? For all you know, I may need a life jacket in the kiddie pool,” Kira teased as she gathered the rest of her paper work. She had been joking but she couldn’t help noticing Holt stiffen slightly at her remark.

  His voice remained calm and cool, though he answered abruptly: “I’ve seen you at the gym in the morning. I saw you swimming laps while I was there working out.” Then much more casually he added, “You really are a strong swimmer. Pretty impressive, given your size.”

  And there it was. She was instantly annoyed. Holt would never see her as anything more than a frail little girl. As much as that pissed her off, she really was scared to face the Dunker training. “I don’t know, Liam. Being strapped inside a metal cage and dumped upside down in water in the pitch dark sounds like a setup for a Houdini act.” Kira laughed nervously. Despite her fear she couldn’t help wondering why she hadn’t noticed him at the gym in the mornings.

  Holt’s smile widened and he laughed out loud. “Talk, you, or you’ll get the Dunker, see. Yeah, the Dunker. Yeah, see,” Holt said in his best James Cagney impression.

  Kira giggled and feigned surrender, putting up her hands playfully. “Oh no! Not the Dunker! Anything but that!” She laughed and swatted him with a file as she passed. “You’re a shit!”

  “Maybe, but you’re laughing, and that’s a hell of a lot better than being nervous. Are you leaving? Do you need a ride home?” His voice had become hopeful. He stepped around quickly to hold the door open for her.

  “No, thanks. I drove.” Kira hoped he wouldn’t ask about the jeep. She grabbed her jacket and started toward the front of the office.

  Abbey was walking down the hall, closing up the rooms for the day. Her eyes narrowed and she shot a disapproving look in Holt’s direction. Abbey was all too aware that Stark had been deployed. Kira had been sulking about the office for three weeks with still no word from Stark. Abbey knew firsthand just how hard that was. She saw Holt place his hand on Kira’s back as he followed her out the door. Whoa there, candy ass. Back off! She shot Holt another look. Abbey suspected that Holt knew about Kira and Stark. She wondered if he was going to try to weasel his way into Kira’s life while Stark was gone. Try it, flea, and he will squish you like a bug!

  The sharp chill of the wind surprised Kira as she stepped outside. Seriously! It’s December in Colorado. A little cold is to be expected! She pulled her jacket tighter around her and started across the parking lot toward the jeep.

  “Nice ride.” Holt said suspiciously, coming up quickly behind her.

  “Oh, thanks. It’s used but it will definitely do the job.” She said casually. OK, you didn’t lie. You may have omitted a few details but technically you didn’t lie.

  “Well, it will get you from point A to point B anyway,” he said with a hint of disdain. He tapped the key fab and his bright red BMW beeped cheerfully. “Do you want me to pick you up in the morning? We can ride together.”

  Kira froze, remembering she hadn’t been staying at her apartment. “No, that’s ok. I would rather drive. I’ve got a couple of things to get done in the morning before training. I’ll just see you there, OK?” she finished, smiling sweetly and reached for the door of the jeep.

  Holt slid up against the door. “It’s no problem. I can pick you up early at your apartment. It’s on the way. You probably won’t have time to get a run in before training anyway.”

  Alarm bells went off in Kira’s mind. How does he know where I live? Have I talked about my apartment? “Thanks, Liam, but I can’t. I know you’re trying to help.” She reached passed him, opened the door to the jeep, and climbed in quickly. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow, OK?” she called as she started the engine. A defeated Holt got in his car and started it up. Kira waved nicely as she pulled out of the parking lot. Has he been following me? How does he know where I live? Kira did her best to get a hold of herself. This is crazy! He isn’t following me. There has to be a reasonable explanation. Just to be sure, though, she drove around for a while before heading to Stark’s house.

  Kira noticed the bright red Chevy Bel Air as soon as she pulled in the driveway. Damn that’s a fine car! Her joy was followed immediately by the sinking realization that the car meant Paige was there. Kira parked and got out slowly. She dreaded spending any time with Paige. She contemplated driving around for another hour or so but decided gas was too expensive to waste. As she approached the house, the front door flung open.

  “Ok, Ok, girl calm down. What’s wrong?” Paige’s voice was tender and soft as she tried to calm Mags. Paige looked up and saw Kira coming up the drive. “Oh, I see. Vanilla, I don’t suppose you would go away if I said we are full up on bitch at the moment.” Her voice grew darker for that last part.

  “Nice try, Paige. I’m sure Owen told you that I’m staying here to look after Maggie while he’s gone,” Kira answered flatly as she knelt down beside Mags. “Hey there, girl. How was your day?” She ruffled Mags fur and hugged her.

  “Yeah, he said you would be around. Though, it looks more like you moved in. Little soon, don’t you think?” Paige smugly held the door open for Kira and followed her into the house. Kira saw Paige’s characteristic magazine and half glass of wine. Over the last few weeks that had become the telling sign that Paige had been there. Kira knew she should be angry or jealous at Paige’s presence but she realized she wasn’t. It was nice knowing someone was around, even if that someone was Paige. Kira laid her laptop case and purse down on the sleek bench in the hall.

  “So you want to tell me why you’re really staying here?” Paige’s voice, while catty, had an air of concern and skepticism. She poured Kira a glass of the merlot she had been drinking. “Well…?” She asked to Kira’s silence, handing her a glass.

  Kira stood there dumbfounded by the audacity of this bitch. Who the hell does she think she is? She took the glass and a long drink before answering. “Paige, Stark and I are none of your business. He asked me to stay and I agreed and that’s all you need to know.”

  “I’m going to let that snarky little comment slide. That was your one free pass,” Paige countered. “I’ve got to tell you I’d really like to hate you but I don’t. You are good for Owen. I wasn’t sure at first but I see how he is when he talks about you.” Paige’s tone softened. She refilled her own glass, finishing the bottle. “Looks like we’re going to need another one of these.” She said as she put the bottle
in the recycling bin.

  “Another bottle? Are you staying long?” Kira made no attempt to hide the aggravation in her voice. She longed to take a hot shower and change into her sweats. She wanted to get to bed early to be well rested for training in the morning.

  “As long as it takes for you to open up and talk to me about what’s really going on with you.” Paige was more direct this time.

  “What are you talking about, Paige?” Kira was really irritated now. “You just said yourself how happy Owen is. So what’s your problem?”

  “Ugh! So much for being tactful. I don’t have the patience for it,” Paige said, exasperated now. “Look, I’m not here just because I’m worried about Owen. I’m here because you need someone to talk to. You’re going to drive yourself crazy keeping it all inside. I know. I’ve been there.” Paige was very serious now. She tapped her deep purple nails impatiently on the butcher-block bar.

  “I miss him. I’m worried sick. But you are hardly the person I want to talk to about that,” Kira blurted. Her emotions were rising to the surface all at once.

  “Oh Jeez, for a doctor you sure are an idiot sometimes,” said Paige. “I’m talking about being attacked. You were raped weren’t you? How long ago? Was it that little shit from the gas station? Zoe told me about him.” Paige blurted out the words callously, having lost all patience.

  All the color drained from Kira’s face. The half full glass of wine slipped from her numb fingers, hit the counter and then crashed on the floor. Deep red wine splattered like blood from a massacre over the wall and the floor. She struggled to speak but couldn’t find the words. How does she know? How the hell does she know? Kira was suddenly nauseous. Her palms began to sweat and the room seemed to spin. She wanted to jump and correct the wine disaster but was unable to move.

  Paige knew she had struck a chord. She eased Kira into the chair at the bar and began to clean the wine and broken glass from Stark’s impeccable kitchen. “When he first told me you agreed to stay I was confused,” she explained. “You don’t seem like the rush-into-things type. And I don’t think you’re like Simone. Owen can see right through that gold digging whore. There was something that just didn’t add up until he told me about your nightmare.” She put the broken glass gently in the trash can. Her careful actions contrasted with her direct approach to Kira.

  “What?” Kira’s eyes shot daggers. “He told you about that night?” she hissed. Kira was furious and hurt. Why? Why the hell did he talk to her about that? “What else did he have to say?”

  “Hold on. Damn, did you have an extra scoop of bitch in your Cheerios this morning? He was really upset. He was afraid that introducing you to bondage (although very mildly if you ask me) caused you to have nightmares. He told me how violently you thrashed in your sleep, like you were fighting for your life. He was worried that maybe it reminded you of something else. He said you clammed up and wouldn’t talk to him about it. He is really worried about you. He was hoping I could help.”

  “When did you talk to him? I haven’t heard from him in weeks. How the hell could you help? How could you possibly understand?” Kira’s voice was barely audible.

  “Before he left he asked me to talk to you because I’ve been there. About a year before I met Owen, I was raped by a guy I met in a bar. I thought he was so cute that I went willingly with him. That’s the part that haunts me the most. I should have said no. I could have stayed at the bar with my friends. I didn’t know this guy from Adam but I went with him anyway. How could I have been so stupid?” Paige took a long sip of her wine. “Maybe I should have poured whiskey instead,” she said, finishing the glass and opening the second bottle. The look on Paige’s face was genuine. Her exotic features looked tired and worn. Kira noted for the first time that she looked vulnerable.

  “That’s an easy mistake to make.” Kira said softly. “Until you meet a predator you don’t suspect anything. By the time you realize who they really are, it’s too late.”

  “Exactly, but that’s a mistake I won’t ever make again,” Paige went on. “I was beaten, Kira, and raped repeatedly. I thought the sick bastard was going to kill me. He just left me there in that flea bitten hotel room like a discarded pizza box. I was so ashamed and embarrassed I didn’t tell anyone for a very long time. I just kept it inside.” Paige stopped talking and looked at Kira, giving her a sad smile. “That’s what nearly killed me. Hiding it, I mean. Trying so hard to pretend everything was OK when it had all fallen apart and turned to shit. I started toying with all kinds of self-destructive behavior. It’s crazy, I know, but somehow BDSM was the only way I found release.”

  Kira’s eyes widened. “But you were raped. How could you possibly stand to be bound? Didn’t it make you sick?” She felt her own panic rising just thinking about it.

  Paige laughed. “I know what you’re thinking. But I didn’t start out being dominated. I entered into this with dominance, not submission. One of my previous girlfriends introduced me to the idea. I found that when I was in complete control I could relax and really enjoy myself. It was about that time that I met Owen.” She paused, a wicked smile spreading across her face as she remembered meeting him for the first time. “He came in shit faced drunk with some of his buddies after his very first deployment to get a tattoo. He got a tattoo alright. And so much more.” She let out a long slow sigh and bit her lip as she savored the memory.

  “Hello, I’m still right here. That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about,” Kira said, shaking her head, disgusted. She suddenly thought of the sexyas-hell tattoo across his back. Relentless. Kira had always thought that described him in life and in battle but now she wondered if it was something else entirely.

  “OK, sorry. I’m just trying to help you understand. We dealt with our demons together. He had all that grief and rage built up and needed an outlet. Me, well, I guess over time I needed to learn to trust again. I was finally able to let go.” Paige finished and took another sip of her wine.

  “That’s great and all,” said Kira. “I’m glad you and my boyfriend had such an awesome sex life when you were together. But I’m not sure how that helps me at all. You do realize that the fact that we are even having this conversation is pure craziness?” Kira ran her fingers through her hair exasperated. She filled a new wine glass hoping the scarlet liquid would help soften the madness.

  “I just want you to know that whatever happened, you can talk to me about it. I wanted to tell you everything so that you would know that I would never judge you. And I would never tell anything you didn’t want me to, even to Owen.” Paige finished giving her a reassuring look.

  “Why? Why would you do that for me? Why do you even care?” Kira implored. She couldn’t help but be skeptical. She didn’t trust anyone except maybe Owen. She was trying so hard to open up to him.

  “I love Owen, not the way you do. But I know the poison that is eating at you will kill you if you keep it in. It will come between you two. You have to work through it, talk about it. Talk to me, Kira,” Paige urged. Her voice was almost commanding.

  Kira sat at the bar in Owen’s immaculate kitchen staring at the wine glass in her trembling hands. She had kept it all bottled up for so long. She struggled with the impulse to just leave but the ache and the fear and the shame that she had lived with so long gripped her and held her fast to the seat. She realized in that moment that more than anything she wanted to be free from all the pain and craziness. Tears started slowly at first then faster as she began to speak. Secrets and emotions that had been locked away broke free like a dam and erupted in Class V rapids flowing and crashing freely. “It was the beginning of my senior year of undergrad. I was finishing up my bachelor’s in chemistry. I had been so busy trying to get perfect grades and get as many classes into each semester as possible, I hadn’t wasted much time on boys.” Kira closed her eyes and paused as if perhaps she could blink and erase it from ever having happened. “Robert was in several of my classes that semester. Since we were both premed we had had c
lasses together every semester since my freshman year. We were never close friends but I had seen him around a lot. He seemed like a nice guy: quiet, cute, but a little shy. A group of us went out to celebrate midterms being over. He came over and started talking to me about an experiment we had been working on. We had a few drinks and he asked me to dance. At first I was thinking, this is amazing. He is so nice and cute. I was excited. As we made our way onto the dance floor everything was spinning like the earth had fallen off its axis.” Kira’s voice waivered as she spoke. Beads of sweat began to glisten on her forehead. She struggled to find the words as she began to relive the most terrifying night of her life. “The music was thumping in my ears, pulsing. It seemed surreal. I -I stumbled and fell into his arms. I remember his voice saying don’t fight it baby just relax and then everything went black.” Kira closed her eyes again, her head hung slightly as the shame that she had been holding so deeply inside began creeping out.

  “He drugged you?” Paige gasped, surprised at how angry she felt. “Why? You liked him.”

  “That’s what makes it so bad, I mean I would have gone out with him.” Kira said sadly. She struggled with a mix of shame and anger. Kira shook her head and looked at the floor. “God, I was such a fool! The rest of that night was a blur of semiconscious voices, shadows, pain and that awful laugh.” Kira shuddered, remembering him laughing wildly. She put her hands over her face as if somehow she could block it out. But the memories were flooding back now. Moments that she had tried so hard to forget flooded her conscious. She choked on the words as she continued. “The thing is it was all a haze, I only remember bits and pieces.” Kira gulped hard. She hadn’t talked to anyone about this in years. No one at all other than the school psychologist whom she wasn’t sure even believed her. Hell, she wasn’t sure she believed her self. Now here she was about to utter words she had been afraid to say, even to herself, to a perfect stranger. Yet somehow she couldn’t stop. With a trembling hand she reached out and braced herself against the bar as if the words were strong enough to knock her down. “I - I know that he raped me.” Her voice waivered. So much pain, each word felt like it was ripping out of her. “I remember being tied up. I couldn’t move my arms or legs. I was too groggy to put up much of a fight.” Kira shifted in her seat. The genuine concern and vulnerable acceptance in Paige’s eye encouraged her to go on. “When I would start to gain strength he would pour liquid down my throat and the whole world would start spinning. When I finally awoke, I was in my apartment and it was two days later. I lost two whole days.” Kira was crying hard now.