“She can’t be right,” I repeated over and over in my head as I listened to her reply, “You say that now. But give it another few weeks and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.”
I snapped my eyes at her, grabbing the pizza she had made me drop and taking a greedy bite before she could do anything about it. Then, through my chews, I asked, “Why are you so determined for this to go wrong? Matter of fact, why are you even here?”
“I’m here because my daughter needed someone to save her from herself,” she replied confidently as she tossed the leftover half of the pizza into the trash.
And while I wanted to be mad about it, I was more mad at the fact that, “X called you to come cockblock?”
She shrugged. “If that’s how you wanna interpret it, sure.”
I wasn’t nearly as nonchalant as she was when I replied, “Well tell him he can interpret that his ass is fired. I’ll clear my schedule for tomorrow so I can find a new hire. Someone who isn’t tied to you.”
My mother immediately brushed me off, not taking me anywhere near as serious as I was according to the grin on her face when she said, “Zalayah, don’t be ridiculous. Xavier is like family to us. He’s been with us forever.”
While that was partially true, I quickly corrected, “No, he’s been with you forever, which is exactly why he does your dirty work with no questions asked. Leave it to Erin to use her most prized resource between her thighs to get her way. Typical.”
In the blink of an eye, my cheek was burning hot from the sting of my mother’s palm going across my face when she snapped, “Don’t you ever talk to me that way!”
I refused to give her the satisfaction of real tears no matter how quickly they were welling up in my eyes. And just before they could slip out, I turned away from her, holding my hand against my cheek as I told her, “You can go now.”
Her apology came almost immediately as she put a hand to my shoulder, her voice already cracking with emotion when she said, “Zalayah, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
“I said, you can go now,” I repeated a little more sternly than before, shrugging her hand off my shoulder as I went to the freezer for an ice pack.
I was already putting it to my cheek, blowing past her towards the stairs with plans of crawling into bed and going straight to sleep. But she was right on my heels, the guilt obviously too much for her to handle as she said, “Just let me see it. Let me make sure you’re okay.”
“Nothing they can’t fix with a little make-up, right?” I replied sarcastically as I went to the bathroom to check the damage in the mirror, grateful to find my cheek just slightly tinted in red.
“Zalayah, please. I’m sorry,” my mother continued to plead behind me, only making me angrier as I thought about why she had smacked me in the first place. And now that there was no good reason for me to hold back, I fired an attack on her that may not have been physical, but was definitely intended to hurt.
“Well you know what? I’m sorry for ruining your life with my early entry into your world. I’m sorry for being a constant reminder of the biggest mistake you ever made in sleeping with the guy you probably couldn’t pick out of a line-up as my father. And I’m sorry for being talented enough to fund an incredible lifestyle for the both of us despite that fact. Now if you don’t have anything else, you can get out of my house. And take your little fake ass security boy toy with you.”
I blew past her out of the bathroom, but once again she was right on my heels when her only reply was, “Zalayah, I’m not leaving you here without security.”
Sure, it might’ve been silly to be in the house unguarded. I knew how crazy people, my fans, could be even with all the security in the neighborhood. But I could no longer tolerate being in this space, could no longer tolerate breathing the same air as her; as them. And since she wasn’t interested in taking my original orders, I suggested, “Well how about you two stay, and I’ll leave.”
I immediately made myself busy sifting through my closet for a comfy pair of shoes, deciding on a pair of Nike slides before grabbing a cap to throw over my mess of a hair. But it wasn’t until I grabbed my purse to head downstairs that my mother took me seriously enough to ask, “Zalayah, where are you going?! Are you crazy? You could get hurt!”
“More hurt than my own mother slapping me in the fuckin’ face? I find that hard to believe,” I told her with a roll of my eyes, not even breaking stride until I made it to my Rose Gold Mercedes G-Wagon parked in the circle driveway.
And even when I was already in the car, I could hear her through the window as she stammered, “Zalayah, watch your… Zalayah, wait… Zalayah!”
I skirted down the driveway, not wasting the energy to peek back even though I could still hear my mother shouting unintelligibly in the distance. My adrenaline was pumping like I had just finished a concert, and the tears I had been holding onto were finally seeping out as I drove down the private access road that led to my house before bypassing the neighborhood security with a wave. And it wasn’t until then that I realized I had no real destination.
Of course I could go to a hotel, but that practically guaranteed a swarm of paparazzi that I wasn’t equipped to deal with now that I was getting rid of X. And I couldn’t hide out at my assistant Kelly’s place since she was out of the country on one of the few vacations she was actually able to take with our busy schedule, leaving me with only two more options. I could go to the studio with claims of desperately needing to lay a track that had come to me on the fly, or I could go to… him.
Before I could change my mind, I pulled over into a shopping center parking lot, scrolling through my texts for his address and then copying that into my GPS. And in no time at all, I was flying down the freeway towards his apartment, hoping he’d actually be there to let me in before anyone else noticed me.
When I finally made it to his building, I kept my head down and my cap pulled low over my eyes, giving a short nod to every neighbor I passed so that I wouldn’t look too suspicious before I made it to his door. And I didn’t fully lift my head until he pulled his door open, a look of confusion on his face when he said, “Zalayah, what are you… are you crying? What happened to your face?”
I practically collapsed into his arms, desperate for the comfort as I started, “My mother. She…”
He held me against his chest with one arm and used the other to close the door, cutting me off to ask, “She, what? What’s going on?”
But before I could even begin to explain, I heard a woman’s voice behind us ask, “Gabe, what’s taking you so… oh. Hello.”
I immediately went stiff in his arms, peeking past him to find a girl who looked incredibly familiar, though there was nothing other than Gabriel’s familiarity with her that rang a bell when it came to her half-naked frame. He let out an annoyed groan as if he was upset about being caught red-handed. But she wasn’t bothered at all, arrogantly crossing her arms over her chest with a smirk as she waited for me to respond, though the only thing I could say as I pulled away from Gabe was, “Oh my God. She was… she was right about you.”
I felt foolish as hell as I thought about my mother’s warning, thought about the fight I had put up when it came to him being so different than the rest. But since Gabriel had no knowledge of that conversation, he asked, “Who was right about me? What are you talking about?”
“You’re just using me like he did. You’re just… fuck. I gotta get out of here,” I said more to myself than him as I turned to leave, embarrassed as I thought about how dumb I probably looked showing up to his place unannounced.
But just like my mother had been, he was right on my heels when he said, “Zalayah, wait.” Going as far as catching me by the arm in the middle of the hallway to pull me back so that he could explain, “Shy was just… she was waiting at my door drunk as hell when I got back from your crib. That’s the only reason why I let her in. I ain’t wanna see her get hurt tryna drive home drunk or some stupid shit like that. But I swear to God we di
dn’t do anything. Hell, I honestly thought she was passed out back there until she came out here without her damn clothes on. But I know she only did that to get at you. She’s petty like that.”
I didn’t understand why the girl would have any beef with me considering I didn’t really know who she was besides the hint of familiarity in her face, but my real concern was, “Are you fuckin’ her?”
He immediately responded, “No! I told you we were done. I’m off that.”
“Yet she’s still parading around your apartment half-naked right after you didn’t get your fuckin’ rocks off with me. Do you really think I’m that stupid?” I asked, my face twisted into a scowl as it all began to click for me.
Shy was the “used to” girlfriend, the one who he was still having sex with even after she had cheated on him. She was the girl who had his attention that night at The Black Market which explained why her face looked so familiar. She was the one who he’d been avoiding texts from the other day even though she obviously still had her ways considering he had opened his home to her. And now she was the girl who had staked her claim by coming out to size me up.
While I was busy putting two-and-two together in my mind, Gabe was still defending, “Of course I don’t think you’re stupid. But I don’t have a reason to lie to you, Rose.”
“You have the same reasons that everyone else has, Gabriel! But you know what? Just like I don’t have to take her bullshit, I don’t have to take yours. Should’ve known you were too good to be true,” I muttered with a roll of my eyes as I stormed away, grateful that he lived on the first floor meaning I could avoid waiting for an elevator or exhausting myself on multiple flights of stairs.
But even out on the sidewalk, he tried to stop me when he pleaded, “Rose, just wait a minute! Damn. Where are you going?”
“Don’t pretend to care now!” I yelled back, drawing the attention of a few passersby as I climbed into my truck and skirted off the same way I had done back home. But I hadn’t even made it down the street by the time my phone was beginning to vibrate in my lap with his call.
“Fuck you, Gabe,” I spewed, keeping my hands locked on the steering wheel as I let it buzz over and over again, a mix of calls from both him and my mother creating a consistent flow until I finally decided to toss it in the backseat.
Once again, I found myself without a destination. Once again, I found myself… lonely as hell as I evaluated my options and realized the only thing close to a friend that I had left was my damn choreographer Amerie. But since I didn’t really have much of a choice, I made my way to the house she had just recently moved back into with her boyfriend.
In fact, it was him who answered the door, obviously a little startled by my appearance when he said, “Zalayah. Hey. Uh… come on in, babe.”
“Is Amerie here? I need to talk to her,” I asked the second I stepped inside, peeking around for any signs of her.
Knox tossed a hand towards the staircase as he answered, “She’s in the shower. I’ll tell her you’re here. Go ahead and make yourself at home.”
I gave him a short nod of thanks as he climbed the stairs two-by-two, leaving me to make myself comfortable. But my nerves only allowed me to pace back and forth in the hallway until Amerie finally emerged from upstairs, her hair still damp from the shower when she asked, “Baby girl, what’s the matter with you? Knox said you were down here all red eyes and runny nose.”
“He wasn’t lying,” I muttered, swiping at the latest batch of tears that had started up, making Amerie’s concern grow even stronger as she took my hand and led me to the living room.
Then she sat me on the couch, keeping my hand in hers as she instructed, “Start from the top.”
So much had happened in such a short span of time that the top seemed like days ago instead of hours. But I still remembered exactly what had jump-started the whole disaster, instantly making me feel regretful when I started, “Well… I fucked my producer. My mom found out and claimed that he was using me before she slapped the shit out of me for basically calling her a ho. So I left her at my house and went to said producer’s apartment for... comfort, I guess. But I only found him with his ex-girlfriend which basically confirmed my mom’s suspicions. And now I’m here.”
To have given a mouthful, I was surprised when all Amerie had to say was, “Wow. That’s… quite a night. Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “I’m as okay as I look. So nah, I’m not.”
She gripped my hand a little tighter, leaning in to say, “Tell me what I can do to help.”
I honestly wasn’t even sure what I needed, wasn’t sure where to start in figuring that out. But since I knew going back home while my mother was probably still lurking around wasn’t an option, I decided to ask, “Can I just… hide out here for the night? Or maybe a couple nights? I just need to get my mind right before I have to start this search for a new bodyguard, a new manager, and a new producer for my album.”
Amerie’s eyes went wide when she repeated, “A new bodyguard, manager, and producer?”
While I knew it was a tall task, it was my only choice since, “My mom has been fuckin’ my bodyguard for years. So everything I do, he reports back to her which means I gotta find somebody who’s not a pussy-whipped snitch. Said mom also being my manager is no longer an option; consider it a conflict of interest. Then I already told you about my producer. Mixing business and pleasure was a big mistake.”
Of all the things on that list, I knew finding a new producer would probably be the hardest. Managers were everywhere, even those with the expertise to handle a career of my caliber. Finding a new head for my security team was as simple as having Kelly vet a few different candidates when she made it back from her vacation. But replacing Gabe, recreating the vibe we had already perfected in preparation for a full album, that was almost impossible.
Still, while I was already thinking about the process, Amerie was stuck on my explanation when she replied, “Yeah, I could’ve told you about mixing business and pleasure. Except, well, I guess it eventually worked out for me.”
Her easy smile about her own situation helped to ease some of my tension. But I knew it wouldn’t be completely removed until I had confirmation that she’d take me in temporarily. And while I felt silly as hell for even having to avoid my own damn house, that didn’t stop me from asking, “So can I stay? Please? I mean, I can sleep right here on this couch if I have to. I just… I can’t go back there right now. Not yet.”
“Of course you can stay, Z. There’s a few extra bedrooms upstairs. Knox and I will just go next door to Elijah’s so you can have some privacy while you sort things out.”
I cracked a half-hearted smile, silently thanking her as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder to ask, “Now what am I supposed to tell your mom when she starts calling around to look for you?”
“Just tell her you haven’t seen me. I’ll deal with her when I’m ready.”
Gabriel
“You know you fucked up, right?”
I shook my head at my brother, hardly surprised that that was the only conclusion he had come up with after I had laid out the whole situation since, well, it was the truth. Even if I hadn’t technically done anything wrong, I knew everything about Shy being half-dressed in my place looked wrong as hell, especially considering how much she tried to rub it in Zalayah’s face. But after chewing Shy out for doing that shit and blowing up Zalayah’s phone to try to get her to understand, I was still left in the same state of confusion.
“Women say they want the truth. Then when you give it to them, they don’t even believe you. So what’s the point?” I asked him as I focused on the screen, playing him in NBA 2K to ease some stress though I could hardly focus.
And that was made even more apparent when Grayson got a wide-open lay-up as he replied, “I mean, would you have believed you? If you went to her spot and a nigga walked out with his dick swinging all over the place, how would you feel?”
“I’d be pissed,” I answered al
most immediately, though I really didn’t have any claims over who Zalayah involved herself with. But I suppose after our little… rendezvous, I assumed that was a sign of us growing closer.
“Which was probably why she was so upset,” I thought to myself, solving my own confusion while Grayson teased, “But he was drunk, Gabe. She didn’t want him to drive home drunk, Gabe.”
I brushed him off, focusing on the game as I hit a three-pointer while telling him, “Call that nigga an Uber. Shit, she always wanna send a car my way. She can send him in one too.”
He laughed, shaking his head as he replied, “That’s not the point, foo. You know you would’ve been uncomfortable as hell and you wouldn’t have taken that bullshit explanation even if it was the truth. I mean, Shy was right in her face as living proof. Your words automatically became invalid.”
“Well that doesn’t make it fair,” I reasoned, trying to get my brother at least a little on my side.
But I quickly found out that wasn’t happening when he shouted, “Life isn’t fair, my nigga! Yet here we are, living the shit day after day anyway, steady tryna make lemonade out of lemons even if we don’t like lemonade. I mean, me personally, I’m more of a fruit punch guy. But I’ll still whip some lemonade up when life calls for it. So that’s what you gotta do. Make your lemonade, G.”
As strangely profound as I found my little brother’s advice, it only made me feel worse since, “I tried. But now my calls are going straight to voicemail, my texts all got left on read, and I couldn’t even get into her neighborhood cause of all the tight ass security they got over that way. I’m fresh out of options, Gray.”
“What about the album?” he asked, tapping against his controller to block my shot.
And as I grunted about his move, I asked, “What about it? I mean, after yesterday, I can pretty much assume there is no more album. Not with me, at least.”
I knew it was impossible for anyone to recreate what Zalayah and I had managed to put together. And with two of the songs that would surely be featured on the album already out, I had a hard time believing someone would be able to make any beats even remotely cohesive with the vibe we had set. But I also knew how determined she was at everything she did, even if that meant excluding me so that she could move forward accordingly.
Heated Harmonies Page 10