I pushed the covers back, popping up a little too quickly and making myself dizzy when I asked, “You called my mom?!”
Amerie’s face became extra expressive when she whisper-yelled, “You could’ve died, Z! Of course I called your mom!”
Before I could respond with anything more than a roll of my eyes, the door flew open with my mother dressed to the nines, breathing a sigh of relief once she laid eyes on me. “There you are. Oh my God. You had me worried sick!”
It was clear she wasn’t as worried as her antics claimed to be considering she had the time to put together a flawless ensemble before coming over to check on me. So as I slipped deeper into the covers, I also downplayed her dramatics when I told her, “I’m fine, Erin. Relax.”
She made her way to the edge of the bed, Elijah practically jumping out of the way to make room for her as she scolded, “Zalayah, what were you thinking? Mixing drugs and alcohol? That’s so unlike you!”
“Are you sure? Would you even know? Maybe X was giving you bad intel all along,” I replied with another sarcastic roll of my eyes.
But my mom wasn’t here for my attitude, her face stern when she said, “Now is not the time for that, Zalayah. You could’ve really gotten hurt. I mean, what if Elijah wasn’t there to get you back here safely?”
I sat up a little straighter, feeling defensive when I snapped, “But he’s the one who… never mind.”
There was no good reason to throw Elijah under the bus since he truly had gotten me back safely. And it technically wasn’t his fault that I had put myself in that predicament even if he had been the supplier. I mean, it wasn’t like he had forced the thing down my throat. But I suppose I was so desperate for the relief, so desperate to take my mind off all of the struggles I was currently being faced with, I was willing to do anything to make it all go away temporarily.
“We need to get as many fluids in you as possible. Have you thrown up yet? Or do we need to induce it? I can call the doctor and get him over here to…”
I held my hand up to cut my mother off. “I told you, I’m fine. I went a little overboard, but I’m alright now. Lesson learned.”
She didn’t seem convinced, crossing her arms over her chest to study me for a moment before she said, “Amerie. Elijah. Can you… give us a minute?”
They both seemed ecstatic to escape, Amerie replying, “Absolutely. Take your time. We’ll be downstairs.” Before knocking Elijah upside the head on their way out.
Once the door was shut behind them, my mother wasted no time making herself comfortable at the foot of the bed, her expression surprisingly empathetic which prompted me to brace myself for what was to come. “Zalayah, look. I know you were upset about me… putting my hands on you. I shouldn’t have done that. That was wrong of me. I apologized. But that alone doesn’t fully explain you going so out of bounds like this. What’s really going on with you, sweetheart?”
My eyes were tight when I challenged, “Why do you think something is wrong? How do you know I wasn’t just, being a normal twenty-something? I mean, you were my age once, right? You know what it’s like.”
She pursed her lips, dropping her head as she replied, “I actually don’t know what it’s like. When I was your age, I already had a school-age child who was on the road to fame. I could never do things like that.”
For whatever reason, her honest response tugged at me, making me want to be closer to her after not being around her for days. So I climbed from under the covers to join her at the foot of the bed, our thighs smashed against each other as I chose my words carefully. “Well maybe… maybe, that’s part of the problem. You’ve lived my dream with me for so long that you haven’t really taken time for yourself, to figure out your own lane, to have some fun. And I can’t say you resent me for that, but… maybe that’s part of why you get so upset when I do something you don’t approve of. Maybe that’s why we… clash the way we do.”
She peeked over my way, her smile half-hearted when she insisted, “I’m your mother. You’re my daughter. My only child. Clashes are normal.”
“Are they though? Or are they a result of you trying to do too much by playing mother, father, and manager? It’s like you get mad enough for all three,” I told her with an awkward laugh, releasing a heavy sigh as I decided there was no better time than now to deliver make or break news. I wasn’t sure how she’d react, but nothing was going to stop me from continuing, “I’ll always be your baby girl. But I think, maybe we should… part ways as far as my career is concerned. Maybe that’ll help to ease some of the tension that always seems to linger between us.”
It felt as if I was holding my breath, the silence thick as I waited for her to respond. And my breath stayed that way even when she asked, “Little girl, are you firing me?”
I shrugged, gnawing on my lip and focusing on my hands in my lap. “Sure. I mean, if that’s how you wanna phrase it...”
“Well you know I’m getting lawyers involved, right?” she asked, earning my eyes as I peeked over at her in disbelief. But her serious expression quickly cracked into a smile when she added, “I’m kidding. I mean, I’m definitely collecting that last paycheck. But I respect your decision. Yes, you’ll always be my baby girl, but you’re an adult now. You don’t need me hovering over your every move anymore. You deserve to be able to make your own mistakes without me coming down on you so tough. And maybe it is time for me to find some real business of my own.”
“Yeah, so you don’t have to go around having sex with my security behind my back,” I told her teasingly, rocking into her to bump shoulders.
But I wished I hadn’t teased her once she got me back by saying, “Mama gotta have a life too, right?”
“Ewwww,” I groaned, laughing as I fell back against the bed. And once my mother turned to find my eyes, she wasted no time addressing the other pink elephant in the room.
“Now seriously, tell me what’s going on with you, Z.”
I released another sigh, gazing at the ceiling as if I was searching there for an explanation. But the only one that made sense was, “I guess I just… got a little overwhelmed. Getting into it with you, getting into it with Gabriel, not really having anywhere to turn to, the pressure of delivering on this album now that I’ve officially gone out on a limb. It all just kind of, caught up to me.”
Her face scrunched with confusion when she asked, “Wait, getting into it with Gabriel? What happened? You guys looked pretty happy to me a few days ago.”
This time, I closed my eyes. “We were. Until we weren’t.”
“But what about your album? Is he still going to be your producer?” she asked, supplying the questions that had already been lingering in my head for days.
I could only shrug, keeping my eyes closed as I answered, “I don’t know. I mean, when everything was still fresh, I didn’t want him to be. But now that I’m back in my right mind, I really don’t think I can do it without him.”
It almost didn’t seem fair that I’d be forced to work with someone I wasn’t sure I could even stand to look at after finding him with Shy. Though if Elijah was telling the truth about the night before, I had technically already been there, done that. But to add whatever had gone down between us at the club to the mix of a mess we had already created at his apartment - and even before then - was definitely not the best foundation for a working relationship, especially one as important as this one.
My mother gave me a little pat to my thigh, prompting me to open my eyes. And once she had my attention, she said, “It sounds to me like it’s time for you to be a professional and handle your business, Z. If you want him to do it, then you’ll have to put whatever happened between you two to the side and get it done. You can’t let personal feelings get in the way of greatness. And baby, when I tell you this new direction you’re taking is truly something special...”
“You really think so, Mama?” I asked as I sat back up next to her.
She wrapped her arm around my shoulder, pulling me into he
r as she said, “I know it, pretty girl.” Then she gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead before she continued, “Now I know Amerie loves you, but I’m sure she’s ready to get her home back which means we should probably get you back to your own.”
I giggled, knowing she was right, but also well aware of yet another bind I was currently in when I replied, “What about security? I haven’t had a chance to get anyone lined up just yet, and Kelly won’t be back from vacation for another few days.”
“Well since you haven’t exactly given X a pink slip yourself, he’s still available. At least until we get a chance to vet a replacement,” she said, giving me an offer I really couldn’t refuse if I wanted to.
So I nodded as I told her, “That’s fine. I mean, I won’t be doing much for you to snoop your way into anyway.”
She let out a short giggle herself before she assured, “You don’t have to worry about that anymore, Z.”
“You promise?” I asked, pulling my head back to meet her eyes for real confirmation.
I could tell putting her on the spot to commit to her word had made her a little uncomfortable as she twisted her lips and diverted her eyes. “I promise I... won’t be in your business beyond normal mom stuff that I discover on my own. Fair?” she asked, her eyebrows raised as she waited for me to agree to her terms.
But the truth was, I wouldn’t have had it any other way as I nodded to agree, cracking a genuine smile when I told her, “Fair.”
&
“Well… what did you think of him?”
I fell back into my chair simultaneously with Kelly making her way back into the room after escorting the latest candidate for my new manager out of the building. We had been at it for hours, listening to people give the same little spill and make the same guarantees as the person before them. And while it was honestly all beginning to blur together, I knew exactly what had stood out to me about the last guy.
“He was kind of, I don’t know. Stuffy. Like, I trust that he knows the business and has the connections necessary to elevate me to greater heights. But I don’t think... our energies mesh well enough for him to be in charge of important decisions regarding my career.”
While I was trying my best to keep an open mind about a process that was so incredibly new to me, I just didn’t think the poindexter Caucasian man in his mid-forties understood me nor my image in a way that made me comfortable. Though according to Kelly, my ignorance was showing when she explained, “He’s not actually in charge, Z. He just… manages. You know, talks to the people you don’t have the time to. Keeps certain things in line so you don’t even have to think about them. Advises you on those important decisions, and then speaks on your behalf regarding whatever you decide on.”
“See, that! I don’t trust him to do that the way I would want him to. Like, he’d have his own agenda, or something. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being paranoid,” I said with a heavy sigh, quickly deciding I was in on over my head for even taking this on.
“Or maybe you just want everyone to be how your mother was,” Kelly insisted as she organized the notes we had taken on each candidate into a folder, though they all probably belonged in the trash.
I nodded slowly as I agreed, “That’s probably true too. But you know what? I gotta figure this out, so go ahead and send the next person in.”
She gave me a short smile as she made her way back to the door, leaning out of it to invite the next candidate into the room. And once he emerged, there was a familiarity to him that had me taking a quick peek at his file to figure out where I knew him from.
My answer was clear as day once I saw the only other artist he currently had on his roster, the single name listed giving me comfort as I extended my hand his way.
“Caleb, right?” I asked, using the quick reminder typed in a wacky bold font at the top of his resume.
He clasped my hand in both of his, his smile full of charm when he said, “Zalayah. It’s a pleasure.”
I fell back into my chair on the opposite side of the table, waiting for Kelly to join us as I asked teasingly, “Does Gavin… G. Griffey know you’re here? I’m not trying to start any in-house label drama around here if I end up stealing you from him.”
His answer surprised me, a single eyebrow piqued when he replied, “Actually, he’s the one who sent me. Said you’re shopping around for a new manager. And well, I think I may be the guy for you. I mean, you’ve seen what I’ve done with his career, right?”
While I could appreciate his confidence along with his completely casual vibe, it was Kelly who was remaining levelheaded as she chimed in, “Not to be rude, but Zalayah has been around a little longer than he has meaning she has quite a bit more to manage. And right now, a little more at stake.”
He nodded, his lips tight as he interlocked his fingers on top of the table. “I respect it. But I also know none of those suit-and-tied clowns in the lobby right now understand Zalayah’s brand the way that I do,” he replied before turning his attention my way to ask, “You remember when your people came to us to do that video a few years back? People didn’t get it back then, didn’t understand this new wave you were going for back then, but I did. And I’m ready to really bring that to life for you. Full force.”
I wanted to jump up and down at the mere prospect of having someone I didn’t have to explain my vision to. And since we were relatively close in age, and interests according to the direction he had taken G. Griffey’s career in, it was clear he didn’t just understand the business side, but had a view of the market from the consumer perspective as well which played a big role in decision-making.
I tried not to get too ahead of myself, keeping my composure and my face neutral when I asked, “Will you be able to dedicate the time necessary to both G. Griffey and myself? I mean, we’re both pretty high-caliber artists. But he’s on tour right now and you’re here with me which means one of us is getting the short end of the stick.”
His confident smile returned as he leaned into the table to reply, “There’s this new invention called technology, meaning I can do this meeting with you, make it to his show tonight, and be back to start making arrangements for your next moves first thing in the morning.”
Once again, I tried to hold back my excitement, Kelly helping to neutralize it when she insisted, “You sound pretty confident about this, Caleb. Almost too confident.”
He ran his tongue across his teeth, serving my assistant eyes that had me wanting to join them in the bedroom when he said, “I’ve never wrote a check I couldn’t cash, Ms. Kelly. Now let me take your girl to the next level.” Turning his attention my way to add, “I mean, I’d hate for you to fall second fiddle around here to that Mallory chick, but I have a feeling they’re about to try you.”
I rolled my eyes at just the thought, nodding as I quietly agreed, “Yeah, me too.”
There wasn’t anything about Mallory that intimidated me. She couldn’t sing better than me, couldn’t dance better than me, couldn’t do… anything better than me. But I also knew that once the label decided they wanted to make a star out of someone, they would do just about anything to make it happen, even if that meant taking money away from their investment in me to put towards her career.
I wasn’t sure if it was part of Caleb’s ploy to get me to hire him by tapping into my annoyance with that whole situation. But it surely seemed to be working the longer it sat with me, my eyes tight by the time he finally asked, “So, what do you say? You ready to let me move and shake for you, or what?”
“Absolutely. Let’s do it,” I answered immediately, catching a glare from Kelly for being so impulsive. But everything about Caleb felt right, and genuine, and… relatable; exactly what I was looking for, exactly what I needed to get back on track.
He stood up to shake my hand and then Kelly’s, holding onto it a little longer than he had mine. But Kelly didn’t seem to notice, continuing through the protocol we had set for if we found someone we wanted to hire. She went over what to expect next, w
hen to expect it, and got the necessary contact information for his lawyer group before sending him on his way. Then she made herself busy giving the smoothest dismissal she could come up with to the few candidates left in the waiting area before coming back to join me, clearly exhausted according to the way she plopped down into her chair.
I was so happy to have her back, so happy to have her helping me through this even if I had made the final decision without her. But my mind wasn’t even on the fact that I had checked a big task off my to-do list when I gushed, “He was so into you.”
She brushed me off, sitting up a little straighter in her chair. “Girl, bye. Ain’t nobody checkin’ for that man, especially now since you done went ahead and given him the green light to be your manager. I don’t mix business and pleasure, unlike someone I know,” she teased, making me roll my eyes.
“Ha-Ha-Ha. Very funny,” I replied sarcastically, though just the mention reminded me, “We uh… we kinda need to handle that next actually.”
“You mean, you need to handle that next,” she corrected with a little chuckle before resting her forehead on the edge of the table.
But her exhaustion from the day wasn’t enough to stop me from whining, “Come on, Kelly. You’re my assistant. So I need you to... assist.”
It had been a little over a week since my not-so-memorable run-in with Gabriel at The Max. But considering he hadn’t even followed up on my condition after supposedly helping Elijah get me into the car, I could assume he was past the point of caring about me in any fashion beyond the music that was still on hold. The music I needed off hold as soon as possible if I really wanted to stick it to the record label.
Kelly released a heavy sigh, peeling her head from the table before suggesting, “Just send his contract to do the album through certified mail with a deadline of when you need it returned. If he’s still willing to work with you, he’ll get in touch. If he’s not, then he won’t.”
While the whole thing sounded like some weird adult version of the yes-no-maybe checkbox game people used to play back at my specialty elementary school, its simplicity was enough for me to reply, “That’s… actually pretty genius. I won’t have to talk to him, won’t have to see him, won’t have to beg. And the arrangements will be handled in a professional manner, so that’ll prove I’m all business before we even have to get back into the studio together.”
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