Tess tried to smile but was too shocked at the woman’s kindness. She nodded in Sara’s direction as she walked away with her group. No one ever spoke to Tess like that since she’d started attending services. For a brief moment, she was able to hold her head a little higher.
“Oh, how nice! Caroline came,” Karen said as the family moved toward the exit.
Josh’s sister and a man who was likely her husband, had cornered the pastor shortly after the service ended. The couple, along with small twin boys and an older girl, were a few rows from her.
Before Tess could turn away, Josh looked directly at her and smiled as if he’d known all along that she was there. Tess smiled back, and Josh waved her over. With a heavy sigh she tried to go the other way, but Brody caught her arm and shook his head. “Your boyfriend wants you,” he said as he practically dragged her over, flanked by the rest of the family.
“Oh, my! Is this Theresa Carson?” Caroline reached out and hugged Tess happily. “You sure grew up. I think you were about ten or twelve years old the last time I saw you.” Caroline was stunning, with short, trendy blonde hair and all the accessories befitting the wife of a successful attorney.
“You look great too, Caroline,” Tess said. “I, uh, better go.”
Josh reached out and grabbed her arm, shaking his head as he did. “Oh, no, you don’t,” he said softly before turning back to Caroline. “I’ll call as soon as I hear anything. Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me.”
Tess was certain his sister was aware Josh was still holding onto the ‘little’ neighbor’s arm.
Caroline hugged Josh again. “You made us proud today, little brother.”
Josh nodded as he crouched down to pick up the twin boys in his arms.
In an instant Tess imagined he was holding their children, and just as quickly, the image was gone. Her heart quaked with the daydream of what could be. It stayed firm in her heart even as she prayed that God take this desire from her. It was too painful thinking of all the things she didn’t deserve and would never get. She was too weak.
“Uncle Josh will be back soon, OK?” he said to the boys. “And we’ll get some ice cream…maybe go to the zoo…” He crouched back down so he could talk to the girl too. “Would you like that, Bella?”
She nodded with a smile and wrapped her arms around Josh’s neck.
He set the boys down. “I’ll miss you kiddos. Be good, all right?”
As Caroline and her family left the sanctuary, Tess realized her whole family was still standing nearby. They congratulated Josh on his sermon and began to disperse toward the exits.
“You’ll be over at one?” Stell asked, taking hold of Brody’s arm.
He smiled down at her. “You sure you can make enough to feed that oaf?” he asked.
Stell playfully smacked him as she laughed.
Josh chuckled and nodded. “I’ll be there. Thanks for the invitation.”
Tess smiled and started after Uncle Stu. “I got a ride with Stu.”
A few people remained in the sanctuary. Most were watching her and Josh, as if there would be some kind of show.
“Wait,” Josh said. “Will you be at Brody’s?”
“I…I’m not sure yet.” She smiled. “Great sermon. For once you knocked it out of the park.”
Josh contemplated her words and the pointed reference to his few homeruns from high school baseball. “That’s cold, Tornado.”
Tess shrugged and hurried after Uncle Stu. Unfortunately, she didn’t catch him.
Harrison Flynn caught her. “Ms. Carson.”
Tess closed her eyes with a quick prayer for patience before turning to him. She plastered a smile on her face. “Hello, Mr. Flynn.”
He cleared his throat and glared down his nose at her. “I believe I told you once not to mock the Lord. Showing up here today, throwing yourself at our new pastor…” he cleared his throat, dismissing her. “You’d be wise to find another church for your shenanigans. We won’t tolerate this here.”
Shocked, Tess gaped at him but said nothing.
Harrison nodded. “We need a new pastor and Mr. Thorne was the perfect candidate until ten minutes ago when I caught him cavorting with the likes of you. Don’t ruin this for him. He has the chance of a lifetime and to throw it away on a teenage fling would be ludicrous.”
Unable to stop herself, Tess spat, “Neither of us are teenagers.” Oh, how she wished she could keep her mouth closed!
Harrison raised his eyebrows. “It is within your power to act like an adult.”
Against her judgment and all of Uncle Stu’s advice, Tess drew a deep breath and challenged him. “So, your church’s reputation is worth more than my salvation? Is that what you’re saying?”
Harrison shook his head. His voice remained calm, but something in his eyes told her he would never change his mind. “What I’m saying is that your reputation has not yet been disproved and attaching yourself to an upstanding man like Pastor Thorne will only serve to drag him down, not build you up faster in my, or this community’s, eyes.” Harrison straightened to his full height and cleared his throat again. “I’m saying that if you do not cease this conquest, you will find he is not likely to be hired here. The reputation of this institution has been established over many long years of continued service to this community—it would only take a moment for you to dismantle that altogether.”
Tess’s mouth went dry. “Are you threatening me?” she whispered. Tears stung her eyes. “What will it take for you to believe I’m reformed?”
Harrison stared down at her as if he intended to answer in a way that might not have been appropriate in church.
Uncle Stu came to stand beside his niece, placing a firm hand on her shoulder as he said, “I was wondering where you went.” He extended a hand to Harrison and waited as the man reluctantly shook it. “Harrison.”
“Stu.” Harrison finally acknowledged him.
The men sized each other up.
“I trust Tess is on time with her payments?”
Harrison grunted and nodded reluctantly.
Stu reassured Tess with a side-hug.
Harrison continued glaring at her.
“Very good,” Stu said. “Come on, young lady. Let’s get you fed and back to work again.” He smiled, nodding in Tess’s direction. “She’s come a long way, don’t you think?” Without waiting for a reply, he guided Tess toward the church doors and outside.
The cool breeze did little to wash the angry heat from Tess’s face.
~*~
“No.” Tess started for her bedroom, but Stu stopped her with one word.
“Change.”
Tess turned slowly and glanced from Stu to Marlene. Despite her protests, they’d followed her into her apartment and refused to leave until she changed clothes and went with them to lunch. “You don’t get it.” She’d spent the entire ride home blinking back tears of shame. She’d cried enough over the last few years so that there shouldn’t be a tear left in her body, but Harrison managed to bring the worst darkness in her back to the light.
Marlene met Stu’s eyes for a long moment and they appeared to understand what the other was thinking without a word being spoken.
He nodded and gestured toward his niece.
With a soft smile, Marlene went to Tess and took her by the arm. “Let’s talk.”
Tess reluctantly allowed the older woman to guide her into the bedroom where she closed the door and said, “Josh is only here a short time. Hiding yourself because one man who doesn’t at all comprehend Christianity is giving you a hard time means you’re letting that man win—which means you are completely ineffective for God. He can’t use you if you don’t believe that He can. Understand?”
Tess stared at the woman.
Marlene went to the closet during the lecture, opened it, and yanked out a cute shirt. She inspected it before offering it to Tess. “This one’s nice,” she said. “It will bring out your eyes.” She handed Tess the top and sat on the bed as i
f the conversation was over.
“Where in the world did Uncle Stu find you?” Tess asked incredulously.
Marlene laughed. “It’s more like I found him. I’d all but given up—finally embraced my life as a single woman. I was sure I could be happy working and being a good aunt to my nieces and nephews.” She paused, thinking, a look of pure joy washing over her face. “But he walked into the office one day and I was stunned. Dumbstruck. He was exactly the man God told me I’d meet one day.”
“I’m guessing it was a day he bothered to shave?” Tess asked.
“I honestly don’t think it was,” Marlene said, meeting Tess’s eyes. “It was his directness, his confidence, and above all that he was clearly a man of integrity. I don’t meet anyone like that often at my age.” She paused. “It all sounds stupid when you say it out loud.”
Tess shrugged. “Not too stupid,” she said softly. “I was six-years-old when I met Josh. He said hello and I said, ‘I’m going to marry you,’ and I spent the next seven years chasing him.”
The women laughed together.
Tess began to rummage through her jeans until she came up with her favorite pair.
“So why let him get away now?” Marlene’s blue eyes challenged.
Tess sank down onto the bed next to her and sighed. “Because we aren’t kids anymore and I’m not…. Every woman in that congregation today was staring at him as if he was the prize at the state fair. I’m not exactly the best of the best. Josh deserves better.”
Marlene snorted. She stood and yanked Tess to her feet. “Now you listen to me.” She gazed deep into Tess’s eyes. “He didn’t even glance at anyone else. I watched him. His eyes never left you because you are exactly the woman he needs. And he’s the one who gets the privilege of being with you—not the other way around.” She adjusted Tess’s hair and smiled again. “Get dressed. If there’s one thing I understand about your uncle, he’s got no patience when there’s food involved.” Marlene left her.
Alone, Tess got dressed, and more importantly, she thought over Marlene’s words, Harrison’s actions, and Josh’s sermon.
~*~
“That guy is a piece of work, I’m telling you,” Brody said as he handed Josh a cup of lemonade.
Josh sipped the cool drink, still reeling from the time he’d spent trying to deflect Harrison Flynn’s concerns about his ‘questionable relationship’ with Tess. It was no small task. “He…” Josh held his hands out in defeat as he tried to calm down. “He hates her and wants to make her life miserable. So much for redemption and grace.”
Brody regarded his friend before he spoke. “Well, Tess did make it her mission in life to terrorize the poor man.”
“And she made amends,” Josh said incredulously. “She’s got two jobs to pay him back and she’s doing whatever she can to show she’s changed.”
Brody glanced up as a car pulled to a stop in front of the house. “Uncle Stu’s here,” he said, tapping Josh on the leg. “Listen, you don’t need to convince me—she’s doing great. I get it, but I’m not sure we’ll ever forget what she was and what she did, and we’re her family. Flynn has no reason to let it go.”
“Besides the proclamation of his faith, you mean.” Josh was relieved to be in his friend’s living room, able to say what he wanted without fear of judgment. He hadn’t been this angry in a long time. And now, he was questioning whether he should take the job with the church at all. “She has asked his forgiveness and as a Christian he should be offering that freely, along with support to keep attending church. Ugh!”
Brody stood to open the door and laughed. “Man. It’s like an alternate universe. Stu has a girlfriend, you’re as in love with Tess as she used to be with you…” He paused to shake his head. “I can hardly take it.” He opened the door. “Marlene!” he said and gave her a hug. “Hey, Uncle Stu.” He accepted a bag of fresh-baked bread with a smile. “Stell’s in the kitchen if you wanted to…”
“Sure, honey.” Marlene took the bread with her and headed in that direction. “Your mom said they were visiting with Vi, but they might stop over later.”
Brody nodded as Stu sat across from Josh.
“Survive the first day all right?” he asked.
Josh nodded, not wanting to alarm Tess’s uncle with his anger. “Where’s Tess? I mean… is she, uh, coming?”
Stu smiled. “We dropped her off, so she could change. You know Mouthy. Says she isn’t coming but she’ll be here. Likes a free meal.”
Josh managed to smile.
“Hope she brings a pie,” Brody said as he sank down into a plush arm chair. “Otherwise I’ll ask her to leave.”
The door swung open and Tess entered, balancing boxes that contained four pies. “Who’s leaving?” she asked as she kicked off her shoes near the door.
Josh jumped to his feet and went to her. “Let me.”
Tess laughed. “I got it all the way in here, didn’t I?” she asked.
He took two boxes and started for the kitchen.
“You drop that, and I will ask you to leave,” Brody said as Josh disappeared. He glanced at Tess. “What’d you bring?”
“One blueberry, two apple, and a banana cream.”
“Mmmm,” Uncle Stu said. “When did you find time to do that?”
Josh came back into the room.
“Couldn’t sleep last night.”
Josh caught her eye.
Tess turned away quickly, her face flushed.
Brody rolled his eyes. “OK, Stell says we need to get in there because it’s ready.”
~*~
A short time later lunch was finished, and Josh sat back in his seat, filled, and yet itching to get Tess alone so they could talk. Sitting across from her for the entire meal was as close to torture as he’d ever been. And the more he contemplated what he’d witnessed earlier in the day, the more convinced he was that there must be a way around the naysayers that would still allow him to preach and date Tess too. But so far, he was coming up empty. It was possible that his original plan to not date anyone might actually make the most sense after all.
“What time did you say you need to get to Pastor John’s?” Brody asked.
Josh glanced at his watch. “Oh, they’re not expecting me until three or later,” he said. “I’ve pretty much met with everyone—this last meeting is a formality, I think.”
Tess drew in a deep breath as she glanced around the table. “I actually should get going.” She glanced at Stell and smiled. “Thanks for having me. It was nice catching up with everyone.” She stood and pushed in her chair.
Josh stood too. “Would you mind if I came too? I would…” He cleared his throat as the silence around the table stretched to a breaking point. “Um, I’d like to talk to you about something.”
Tess shrugged as she turned to go.
Brody took his sister’s turned back as an invitation to hit Josh in the arm as hard as he could.
Josh groaned but barely gave a passing acknowledgement to his friend as he hit him back before going after Tess. “Hey…” he said as she paused to slip her shoes on. “I need to be at the airport at seven tomorrow. I wasn’t sure if I’d get to see you.”
Tess took her purse from a hook by the door. She finally peered up at Josh and smiled. “Your sermon was awesome, Jed.” Her voice was filled with a fondness that encouraged him, but even as he sensed hope, she continued. “But I don’t think this…” Tess motioned between them. “Is a good idea. Harrison can make things hard and I can’t fight anymore.” Tess pushed the door open and went outside.
Although Josh heard the words he refused to believe them. He followed her to the truck, not caring that the dining room window faced them and the Carson family was watching him pathetically following Tess. “I got some fight left in me,” he said, hope tingeing his voice. “Lean this way.”
Tess shook her head as she opened the door to her truck. “I can’t do that to you,” she said. “I’ll find another church.”
Josh lean
ed against the door, his body blocking her from getting in. “Come on,” he said gently. “Am I losing you already? Right when I found you?”
“Maybe you are,” she said, forcing a smile as she nudged by him, got in, and closed the door. “Have a safe trip home, Josh.”
His ears burned. For the first time since he could remember she didn’t call him ‘Jed.’ He’d never hated his given name until that moment.
21
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31
Tess shoved a cart full of dirty bed sheets toward the laundry elevator, grateful her shift was nearly at its end. She’d worked from the moment she’d arrived—cleaning, assisting, organizing, and cleaning some more, and now her feet were sore, her hands and back were tired, and she was completely unfocused on what she was supposed to be doing because her mind kept wandering back to Josh.
The dopey expression on his face when he’d followed her out to the truck said he’d expected the conversation to play in his favor. Now he was probably confused and angry with her. But there was no other way.
“Theresa.”
Tess stopped, wondering why Ashley-Marie never went home. She turned and leaned against the heavy cart.
Her boss walked on those awful stiletto heels until she got close enough to talk. Ashley-Marie leaned over Tess, nostrils flaring. “Why didn’t you tell me Josh was in town? Honestly, are you still in grade school? Do you think we’re in competition for him?” She paused, smiling. “Oh. Wait. You probably do think there’s a chance now that you’re, well, you.” She waved her hand in dismissal. “You never did understand him…not as I did.”
Tess stepped backward, pushing the cart with her rear end. “I should get the laundry done.”
“Oh, no, you don’t.” Ashley-Marie waved her hand to stop her. “What’s he doing here?”
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