I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at his word choice.
Karen patted me on the shoulder. “I had no idea you were so interested in astronomy, Gwen. Glad to see you’re broadening your horizons.”
Unlike Karen, Brad apparently didn’t pick up on anything. “Sounds like a fine educational activity. You can even stay out an hour past your curfew, Gwen.”
“Thanks, Brad.” I gave him a hug that surprised us both. “I’ll let you know when I get in tonight.”
As soon as we were in Lew’s car, we both cracked up.
“You charmed the whole family, Triple C. Nice job.”
“I like them. They’re good people.” He smiled as he started the car. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Pretty suave for a nerd. Another flaw in your façade?”
He shrugged. “I’ve had to attend business functions with my family since elementary school. I can make idle chatter about every boring topic you could possibly come up with. In several languages.”
“Pretty lame for a superpower.” I slapped him on the arm with the back of my hand. “Your nemesis training really sucks.”
“Ah, but I make up for it with my mastery of the double entendre,” he said. “I expect to see quite a few shooting stars in the swing tonight.”
“Is that what you have for me that you were talking about earlier?”
“No, I’ll be the one seeing stars,” he said. “But I’ll do my best to show you some.”
I wasn’t sure, but I thought I heard the starting pistol for the butterfly decathlon go off in my stomach. When we reached the circular driveway in front of Lew’s house, he pulled in behind a black Jaguar that hadn’t been there the night before.
“Nice ride,” I said. “Yours too?”
“No, it’s my grandfather’s.”
“Is that a problem?”
He shook his head and turned off the car. “No, just a surprise. He’s got a business meeting with my dad and my uncle on Wednesday, but I didn’t think he was coming until tomorrow. Want to meet him now or Tuesday at my chess tournament?”
My eyebrow went up. “What chess tournament?”
“Didn’t you hear me talking to Annalee about it last night?”
“No, I kinda tuned you both out after awhile. Sorry.”
He laughed. “Oh, I forgot that was while you were busy pouting.”
“Cute.” I socked him in the arm, careful not to break it. “Is your grandfather as funny as you?”
“Yep, and twice as charming.” He opened the car door to get out. “I’ll be keeping an eye on him for sure.”
We started toward the front door, but the sound of an approaching car made us stop and turn around. I could feel Lew tense beside me as soon as he saw the white limousine coming down the driveway.
“Shit. Let’s get out of here,” he said.
He ignored my questions and pulled me toward the entrance to the beach walkway, but the limo came to a stop before we reached it.
“Master Lewis!” a distinguished male voice called behind us. “Your mother wishes to speak with you.”
Lew stopped and sighed heavily. “You’re about to see firsthand why my family drives me crazy. I apologize in advance.”
We walked back to the limousine where a chauffeur opened the door for a beautiful, stylishly dressed woman who didn’t look at all happy to see us. And the closer we got to the woman, the more I noticed that her beauty seemed a bit worn around the edges. I’m sure Lew’s grip on my hand would’ve been excruciating if I had still felt pain.
“You were taught better manners, Lewis,” she said. “Introduce your mother to your friend.”
“Gwen, meet Belinda Stanton.” Lew looked at her with blatant contempt. “First runner up to Miss Florida in 1981, and last place finisher in perpetuity for Mother of the Year.”
Wow. I braced myself for his mother’s reaction, but she appeared only slightly annoyed at what he’d said. On the other hand, her disdain for my clothes and my hairstyle was abundantly clear.
“You must be one of Lewis’s classmates from that horrible public school he insists on attending,” she said. “And what do your parents do, Gwen?”
“Mostly meth, but occasionally they do a little crack for old time’s sake.”
I swear to Flo I had intended to be polite, but once Lew had made it clear from his introduction how he felt about her, how was I supposed to resist giving her a smartass reply after she’d practically set me up? When Lew literally bent over with laughter, I knew he didn’t mind.
Belinda’s beauty queen features were arranged in an unflattering frown. “I see what this is, Lewis. Bring home a piece of trash to antagonize your mother. I’m sure you think you’re quite clever, but you’re only doing the same thing your Uncle Bud did to your grandfather. Not very original for someone who thinks they’re such a genius.”
Lew straightened up and put his arm around my waist. “She just gave you a big compliment, Gwen. My Aunt Jaycee is the one I can’t wait for you to meet. They’ll be here Tuesday for the tournament. You’re gonna love her.”
“Sweet.” I smiled at Belinda. “Thanks, Mrs. Stanton.”
She walked away in a derisive cloud of Chanel No. 5. “Don’t even think about bringing her into my house, Lewis.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it now that you’re home, Belinda.” Lew’s arm tightened a little more around me. As soon as his mother disappeared through the entrance, he picked me up by the waist and spun around. “Oh, God. Thank you for that!”
I looked down at him and scowled. “Put me down before you strain your big chess muscles, Triple C.”
Chapter Twenty-six
An hour later, I was leaning against Lew’s chest in the swing with his arms around me and our hands clasped together at my waist.
“I warned you that the novelty would wear off eventually,” I said. “Since you seemed to enjoy that little scene with your mother so much, it’s time to repay me for it.”
“I thought that’s what I’ve been doing since we got out here.” He laughed and nibbled my ear.
“You know that’s not what I mean. What’s the deal between you and your mother?”
I could feel him tense again. “I guess I do owe you an explanation after putting you through that.”
I turned around to look into his eyes. “Listen, I want you to talk to me, but only if you’re okay with it. Don’t do it if it’s gonna bother you too much.”
“No, I want to tell you,” he said. “I just don’t want to dump all my problems on you.”
“I can take it. I’m a lot stronger than I look.” You have no idea.
“I don’t doubt that at all,” he said. “Okay, but turn back around. It’ll be easier to talk about it if you’re not looking at me.”
I had no problem with that. I could easily have stayed inside his arms in perpetuity, to borrow his phrase. When we were settled again, I heard him take a deep breath.
“My brother killed himself because the day he finally got up the nerve to tell us he was gay, Belinda’s response was to tell him she wished he was dead. And the worst part was that it wasn’t being gay that she had the problem with, it was because he wanted to go public with it. She told him she’d send him away to military school so they could beat some sense into him before she’d let him embarrass her like that.”
“God, what a bitch,” I said. “Just like Vanessa.”
“Who?”
“Oh… my friend Jada’s mother. She was all about appearances too.”
“Yeah, that’s Belinda. All she cares about is her social status. I don’t know why my dad ever married her.”
“How did he take the news from your brother?”
“It wasn’t like it was a big surprise to any of us. Dad had always been okay with Drew being different from me, but Belinda never stopped hounding him about playing sports and being popular and dating debutantes—her idea of the perfect son.” He paused to sigh. “What I used to be before Drew
died.”
A light suddenly went on in my head. “You used to play football, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I was the star running back for Fisher Island Academy. And my best friend Matt was the quarterback.”
I’d thought I was beginning to get the picture, but that really threw me for a loop.
“You and Matt were friends? Why do you hate each other now?”
“I never said I hated him, but he’s been mad at me ever since I quit playing football and left the academy. He blames me for ruining his chance to play college football, and that’s all he’s ever wanted to do.”
“How is that your fault?”
“My family had been paying his tuition for him so we could play football together, and Belinda cut him off when I transferred. My dad offered to keep paying it for him when he found out what Belinda did, but Matt’s parents wouldn’t take it since I wasn’t going there anymore. They couldn’t afford to pay it themselves, so Matt had to transfer too.”
“How did you ever talk your mother into letting you go to Bay Harbor?”
He scoffed. “She didn’t have a choice. If she didn’t want her society friends to find out why Drew committed suicide, she had to let me transfer. Nobody outside the family knows the truth except for Matt. And I know he won’t tell anybody.”
“How can you be sure if—” I broke off and gasped. “Oh my God. He’s gay too?”
“Of course not.” He laughed without any humor. “He’s a big football star, and can’t you see what a chick magnet he is? He couldn’t possibly be gay just because he loved my brother.”
“But what about the rumor that he raped a girl at your other school?”
“He started that rumor. Apparently, he’d rather be called a rapist than a faggot.”
“Wow,” I said. “That is so messed up.”
“Tell me about it. Welcome to Lifestyles of the Rich and Pathetic.”
I knew all about that world. I wished I could tell him just how much we had in common, and how ironic was it that if Belinda knew the pretentious family I really came from, I’d probably have her blessing.
“Okay,” I said, “I understand your problems with Matt and your mother, and I’m guessing you quit football to spite her, but why do you want everybody to think you’re some kind of nerd?”
He didn’t say anything for several seconds, then he sighed again. “Drew and I were different in a lot of ways, but we were a lot alike too. We both loved to play chess—I was the only one who could beat him—and we were on the math team together in sixth grade. Then I started playing football in seventh grade and we seemed to move in different directions after that. When he died, I felt like I’d abandoned him. Maybe if I’d stuck with some of the things we both liked, he wouldn’t have felt so alone. Maybe he wouldn’t have killed himself if—”
“No, don’t say it.” I turned around in the swing and put my arms around his neck. “It wasn’t your fault. When somebody gets to the point that they truly want to kill themselves, nothing anybody says or does can change their mind. Trust me, I know.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I tried it a few years ago. Cut my wrists and everything, just didn’t bleed out fast enough before somebody found me.”
It was too dark for him to see the scars on my wrists, so I put his fingers over the raised tissue. He moved his thumbs across them for a second then lifted both wrists to his lips.
“I’m glad you failed.”
And I’m glad I got myself killed later so I can be here with you now.
“Yeah, me too,” I said. “But nobody could’ve talked me out of it back then.”
“Why’d you do it?”
I turned around and leaned against him again. “My life just sucked in general, and I didn’t think I could take it anymore. Turns out it got a lot more sucktastic before it got better, but I don’t want to talk about all that. You still haven’t told me why you basically wear a disguise all the time.”
“No, it’s not a disguise,” he said. “It’s my tribute to Drew. He was the one on the chess team, and this is how he dressed and combed his hair. When I look in the mirror, I see him looking back at me. Almost like he’s still here.”
I nodded. “And your mother has to see him every day too.”
“Yeah, this way she lost her Golden Boy instead of the son she was so ashamed of.” His arms tightened around me. “I knew you’d understand.”
He was right—I understood it all too well. I even envied him for getting the chance to punish his mother daily and witness how much it bothered her. It was a crappy thing for us to have in common, but it drew me to him even more.
“I can see why you do it, Triple C. And it doesn’t make any difference to me how you dress or what people think about you anyway. I liked you before—crazy math watch and all.”
He held up his left arm. “This was Drew’s too. I gave it to him on our fourteenth birthday. And that reminds me.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. “This is for you. Go open it under the light so you can see.”
We both went to stand under the bulb. Inside the box was a silver ring that featured a black stone in the center with grey swirls running through it. All around it were smaller stones that I suspected were diamonds from the way they sparkled in the dim light.
“The big stone is like yours, isn’t it?” I turned around to examine the ring on his left hand.
He nodded. “It’s called Apache Tears, and there’s a story behind it. In the 1800s, seventy-five Apaches were outnumbered by the cavalry on a mountain in Arizona, but rather than be slaughtered or surrender, the warriors rode their horses off the cliff that’s now called Apache Leap. Legend says that when the Apache women heard what their men had done, their tears turned into these stones when they fell to the ground. When you give it to someone, it’s supposed to take away their tears for a lost loved one, because the Apache women already cried enough tears for everyone.”
I looked up at him. “Who gave you yours?”
“My dad’s grandmother, Julia Stanton. She told me the story behind it too. After Drew died, I stayed with her in Tampa until I could bear to come back home.” He took the ring from the box and slipped it onto my finger. “I hope it helps heal your heart from losing your friend Jada.”
I kissed him before I could start blubbering like an idiot. When I trusted myself to speak, I said, “I love it, Triple C. But where did you get it in a day’s time?”
He smiled. “I went to my mother’s favorite jewelry store and told them what I wanted, then I threw some money at them to rush it. Being loaded pays off sometimes.”
Chapter Twenty-seven
Lew came over for a few hours on Sunday afternoon so Nathan could show him that he’d solved the chess problem, but he couldn’t stay long because he had to attend a family dinner with his grandfather. He suggested that I go with him as his date, but I told him I didn’t think it would make a good first impression on his grandfather if his mother and I came to blows in the middle of dinner.
I checked the newspaper Sunday night and spotted a paragraph on page six of the metro section that said an unidentified man’s body had been found in a vacant lot on Flagler Street with an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. No arrests were expected in the case.
I logged onto the Transdead Trustee blog and added a toned-down version of what I’d done to Rufus. I halfway expected to get a reprimand from Flo because of it, but all I got was another snippy message that my e-mail address still wasn’t appropriate. I figured I got away with it because he’d shot himself and it wasn’t actually me who’d killed him.
Monday morning on the school bus, I squeezed Annalee’s hand as soon as she sat down beside me. “Hey, how you holding up?”
“Fine,” she said, but her smile looked a little shaky at the corners. “I saw a couple of police cars across the street Saturday morning. I could tell they were questioning the employees at the gas station, but they never came around to ou
r apartments.”
I told her what I’d read in the newspaper. “They’re probably glad to have one less junkie on the street and happy to close the case as a suicide.” I touched her ponytail with a frown. “Why didn’t you do your hair and makeup this morning?”
She studied her cuticles. “I decided that wasn’t me. Rufus wouldn’t have noticed me if I’d looked like myself.”
“That’s not true and you know it,” I said. “Besides, there’s no telling how many other women he’d already done that to or would’ve hurt later on. We did the world a favor by getting rid of him.”
“I know. I’m not sorry he’s gone.” She still wouldn’t look at me. “But I’d rather stay invisible from now on.”
“Listen, there’s nothing wrong with the way you look either way.” I took her hand again. “I just wanted you to know you had options if you ever want to use them. Okay?”
“Okay.” She suddenly caught her breath. “Oh my gosh. Where did you get that beautiful ring?”
I couldn’t keep the goofy grin off my face. “Lew gave it to me Saturday night.”
“It’s like the one he wears, isn’t it?”
I nodded. “His great-grandmother gave it to him after—”
I stopped when I realized I couldn’t talk about anything he’d told me until I asked him if it was okay. I’d have to clear it with him soon, because a girl had to be able to talk to her best friend. Surely he knew that.
“After what?” Annalee asked.
I turned to look into her eyes. “I can’t say anything about it until I ask him first. Please don’t be mad at me.”
“Why would I be mad?”
“For keeping secrets from you.”
She sighed. “Gwen, you saved my life. I’m not gonna get mad at you for anything, and especially not because Lew likes you. Besides, you have to keep secrets from him too since we can’t tell anybody what we did to Rufus. And he must really like you a lot to give you a ring after one date.”
After Me Page 17