Charm School Christmas Karma: A Steamy Holiday Romance

by Lynn Carmer

  “Annoying-a. What means this word, annoying-a?” Ai said in a bad, Italian accent.

  Ai and Dacey dissolved into giggles, quoting their favorite retro show, Everybody Loves Raymond. They hardcore stanned Robert’s girlfriend, Stefania, and because they loved it so much, they worked the quote into most conversations.

  The laughter helped. So did the kernel of hope brought on by Dacey’s words. Maybe she could have her cop and eat him, too.

  Chapter 5

  ‡

  “Move your ass, white boy.”

  Sarge took a swift jab to the ribs. Why the hell did I think sparring with this maniac was a good idea?

  Sebastian faced off against Theo Garcia, aka the Cuban, known for being a mean son of a bitch in and out of the ring. They’d been sparring partners, meeting at Tommy’s new gym for a few months now, and Sebastian never walked away without some new injury.

  But damn, it felt good. Theo, the Cuban, never held back which stepped up Sebastian’s game.

  “You ready for your big date?” Theo fainted right and came in for the upper cut at the last second.

  “I’m ready.” Sebastian fainted back, and the side of Theo’s glove grazed his jaw. “But I don’t know if she’s into it.”

  “Yeah, that Ai is no joke. Hot as hell, but hardcore. She’ll cut your balls off if you look at her the wrong way.”

  Hot as hell? Sebastian saw red. He slammed into Theo, raining blow after blow to his mid-section. “You.” Slam. “Don’t.” Punch. “Talk about her!”

  “Coño.” Theo came in close, wrestling Sebastian and then throwing him off. “Remind me to talk about your girlfriend more often. Gave you some cojones. Come on.”

  “You want to talk?” Sebastian braced for the pain. “Let’s talk about Ren.”

  The match exploded. The two men proceeded to beat the hell out of each other for the next twenty minutes.

  “All right, boys, let’s call it. Don’t want you to mess up those pretty faces.” Tommy Lagos sauntered over, wearing a backwards cap and vintage sneakers. He was the owner of the martial arts gym, and the boyfriend of a very pregnant Athena Calvo. “You’re improving, cop. Theo rained down the pain, but you held your own. Nice.”

  “Thanks.” He bounded over and picked up a crisp white towel. “You closing up?”

  “Nah. I’m waiting for my brother, Blue.”

  Sebastian climbed through the ropes and jumped down onto the mats strewn over the newly refurbished floors. “Blue? Interesting name.”

  “Yup. The nickname will become abundantly clear when you meet him.”

  “Blue Lagos. Blue lakes, that’s funny.” Theo grunted and toweled off.

  Tommy laughed but Sebastian blinked, totally confused.

  “You live in SoCal now, my brother. Time to learn some Spanish.”

  “You’re Spanish?” Sebastian asked Tommy.

  “Nope. Greek.”

  “So, Lagos means ‘lake’ in Greek, too?”

  “Nah, it means rabbit.”

  “I give up.” Sebastian mopped his brow.

  Both Tommy and Theo chuckled.

  Sebastian’s phone rang. “I gotta take that.” He rummaged through his bag and walked toward the front of the gym. Looking down at the caller ID, he didn’t recognize the number. Still might be work related, so he swiped right. “Jacobs, here.”

  “Bestie! How’s it hanging? I missed you, but I know you missed me more.”

  “Dacey.” He set his gym bag down. “Always. What’s up?”

  “Chillin’ with my soul sister. Thought you two might want to chat.”

  Ai. Sebastian sucked in a breath, and swallowed some saliva. He coughed immediately and had to wave Tommy off when he looked like he might jog over.

  “Sarge? Oh hell, I think the idea of you talking to him has killed him.” Dacey’s voice sounded muffled as she spoke to Ai.

  “No, no! That doesn’t mean the date is off.” Dacey’s voice wavered in and out. “Suck it up, Sarge, or she’s going to bolt.”

  “I’m fine,” he wheezed, gulping some water and forcing himself to breathe. “All good.”

  “Okay. Here she is. Don’t mess this up,” she hissed into the phone.

  No pressure. But he chanted the advice to himself, nonetheless.

  “Sebastian?”

  “Ai.” His mind went blank when he heard her velvet voice.

  Both Tommy and Theo’s heads snapped toward him as he greeted her. Shit, I should have walked farther away. Both of the fools had dopey grins on their faces, and Theo made kissing noises. Sebastian waved them off and walked toward one of the renovated exercise rooms.

  “I’m glad you called. I didn’t think you would.” Why the hell had he said that last part? Way to insult the woman.

  “I have something to tell you.” Ai’s voiced sounded cool, almost monotone.

  “What?” His heart sank. She’s cancelling.

  “I didn’t mean to bid on you,” she huffed.

  Sebastian barked out a laugh, “I’m aware.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You stood up and shouted those exact words.”

  “I did?” She stayed quiet three beats too long. “I thought it was the decent thing to do, to let you know that I had absolutely no plans to bid on you. None. Zero.”

  He rubbed his chest, each word like a tiny stab to his heart. “You know how to stroke a man’s ego.” He heard the tiniest puff of air, and he could have sworn it was a laugh.

  “What time?”

  What time? This damn conversation was all over the place. “For what?”

  “The date? Unless you’ve changed your mind.” The phone muffled again and all he caught was, “Doesn’t…want to.”

  “What?” Dacey shrieked in the background.

  “No, I didn’t change my mind.” He held the phone in front of his mouth, yelling at the cell when they obviously started fighting. “Hello?”

  “That cabrón is fucking it up.” Theo’s voice floated toward him.

  Shit. Why do I even bother? Ai obviously didn’t want the date but…he liked her. A lot. Couldn’t stop thinking about her. Imagining her pixie face made him rock hard.

  “Okay. Where then? And what time?”

  Full court press. He would give it his best shot and if it was a mistake, he’d lick his wounds and move on. “Saturday, six p.m. I’ll pick you up.” He knew where she lived because of Dacey.

  “Fine.” She cleared her throat. “You sure you’re up for this, Sarge?”

  The nickname sounded wrong coming from her soft lips. “You call me Sebastian.” The rough growl of his voice surprised him.

  “All right.” She paused so long he thought she’d hung up. “Sebastian. You’ve got me for one night. Hope this surprise date lives up to the hype.” Her voice had softened and if he didn’t know better, he thought she might be smiling.

  “Be ready, and wear boots if you have them.”

  “If you mean cowboy boots, I may throw up. Goodbye. And don’t be late.”

  He laughed and stowed his phone, jogging back over to his boys.

  Tommy and Theo both raised their brows.

  “Well?” Theo demanded.

  “It’s done. Happening this Saturday.”

  “Good luck, bro. You’re going to need it.” Theo thumped him on the shoulder.

  Tommy laughed and waved over a man that could have been his body double. Both stood close to six feet with wide shoulders, stocky frames, and lots of black tattoos. But that’s where the similarities ended. Tommy was a freckled red-head. This guy had dark skin, and close-cropped dark hair.

  When he walked over to say hello, he noticed the startling blue eyes that stood out against his bronzed skin.

  “Sarge, this is my brother, Blue. Blue, this is Sarge.”

  Definitely made sense.

  Blue looked him over, a slow assessment. Nothing rushed. The guy appeared thoughtful but cautious. Nothing Sebastian wasn’t used to. Not everyone warmed up to cop
s, right away. Like with Theo, he’d probably have to win Blue over.

  “Nice to meet you, Blue.” Sebastian extended a hand, Texan hospitality ingrained in him from birth.

  Blue looked him over, made him wait for a second and seemed to come to some kind of conclusion because he grasped his hand and smiled. “Nice to meet you, Sarge.”

  “It’s Sebastian.”

  “Nah, we call you Sarge.” Theo cracked his knuckles.

  “Why the hell can’t I shake that nickname?” He shook his head.

  “It just fits.” Tommy called over his shoulder as he walked back to his office. “You guys want to join us for dinner? Blue is here to celebrate Dare’s engagement. We’re going to meet up at the school.”

  “Are friends coming?” Theo scratched his beard. “You know if Ren will be there?”

  Tommy groaned. “Not that again. You’re as bad as the cop. No, she won’t be there. Not as far as I know.”

  Theo looked down for a minute. He didn’t bother to look back at them as he said, “Then I’m out. See ya, when I see ya.” Theo made a beeline for the door and was gone.

  “I’m heading out, too. Good meeting you, Blue. See you next week, Tommy.” Sebastian followed Theo, his mind going over the details of his surprise date. He felt wired. Excited. He’d hoped to bring a little bit of Texas over to California.

  Holy hell. This might not have been a good idea after all.

  Chapter 6

  ‡

  Ai gazed in the mirror, picking apart her outfit, but refusing to admit she wanted to impress Sebastian. Sebastian. These past few days, anticipating the date, she often whispered his name to herself.

  It made her shiver every time.

  As requested, she wore her boots, shin high, shit-kickers that made her feel strong. She paired them with black jeans, a black tank, and a red and black flannel tied around her waist.

  Too much black? Never. If he had a problem with it, he was with the wrong girl. Taking a deep breath, she swept her long bangs out of her face. Today, she secured her hair in a tight pony tail, not allowing for any more accidents that drastically changed the course of her life.

  Like this date.

  The black ensemble stood in stark contrast to the rest of her bedroom. It was her sanctuary and quasi workspace, a total divergence from the rest of the house. Almost every nook and cranny of her artist’s colony exploded with color. If someone felt a yen to paint a wall, and it was good, she allowed it. By now, after so many years, most rooms had hundreds of layers of paint. Her home remained in constant flux, and she loved it.

  Until, she didn’t.

  In her bedroom, she went in a different direction. Cream walls accented with soft blues and greens. She needed a clean palette to work, and to clear her mind by the end of the day. She walked over to her French doors and walked out on to her Spanish style balcony. Her little slice of heaven usually calmed the worst nerves, but not today. Today, she had a date with a blond god, no matter how much she pretended she didn’t care.

  She did. A lot. Too much.

  “Hey, Boss. 5-0 is here.”

  “What?” She spun around and checked the time on her Stranger Things inspired Swatch Watch.

  “The cop that used to come around all the time. The suspicious one that me and Nacho thought was casing the joint, until we found out he was here for you.” A blunt hung out of Jesús’s mouth as he opened the door so she could get by.

  “Put that shit out.” She plucked the blunt from his mouth and tossed it in the trash. “You know I don’t like that shit in my house. Plus, hello, there’s a cop here.”

  “What? It’s legal now. Easy, now, Boss Lady.” He held his hands in front of him. “I can respect your archaic rules. I’m nothing if not flexible.”

  “Mm hmm.” She rushed out of the room, dreading what Sebastian would find. He seemed so conservative. What would he think of a woman who lived in an insane asylum? A visually splendid one—but an insane asylum, all the same. “Try to think big picture. You answer the door with a fatty in your mouth, he may get some preconceived notions,” she called over her shoulder.

  She rushed into the living room. Empty. “Where the hell is he?”

  “Out back, meeting everyone.”

  Ai groaned. She’d hoped to make this date clean and simple. No introductions, no intermingling. No talking. No…that wasn’t right, but whatever she imagined did not involve him interacting with the people in her life. Which made her sad even as she rushed out the back door.

  “Oh no. No, no, no, no, noooo,” fell from her lips in a whispered rush.

  The nightly cookout had ended. A group of about twelve artists sat in a circle on the grass, surrounded by the two newbies who’d asked to crash at her place. The usual crowd always got excited about newcomers because of the house rule: share your art—and you can stay.

  These artists may be oversharing.

  They were performance artists. Apparently, they planned to protest on Olvera Street, a historical monument in downtown, Los Angeles. They wanted to protest the ban against legal prostitution or something so over-the-top, Ai had zoned them out halfway through their explanation.

  Maybe she should have paid closer attention because it looked like this protest involved boobs, dicks, and way too much pubic hair. The couple was buck naked, reenacting a consensual act of love. How did she know this? They occasionally stopped pretend fornicating to exchange money and hold up poster boards, defending their positions.

  For the love of… Where is Sebastian?

  “You brought him out here? Once again, read the room. Do you think this is something a cop needs to see?” Ai searched the crowd, Sebastian’s cropped blond hair nowhere in sight.

  “What? This is beauty, man. This is life.” Jesús popped another blunt in his mouth and joined the crowd. “Besides, he’s going to have to get used to it if he dates you, no?”

  Ai peeked around the corner of the yard, toward the two-story treehouse that loomed over the back fence. Sure enough, Sebastian stood, immovable as an oversized Oak. His arms were crossed and his legs spread wide like he was the tree’s personal body guard. He wore dark jeans, a crisp blue-button down, and…cowboy boots.

  I don’t do cowboy boots, but I might not mind doing the man in them.

  As she rushed closer, she spotted a gleam of panic in his ice-blue eyes.

  “Thank you, Officer.”

  “For what?” He frowned.

  “For guarding my treehouse.” She tried not to smile now that she saw how uncomfortable he was. “That treehouse has been in danger for ages. Good job.”

  Sebastian’s demeanor did not relax, in fact, it hardened. The panic receded, replaced by fire and longing which made her girly parts melt.

  “Where the hell else should I go? Over there?” He lifted his chin toward the performers. “Those people are…they’re doing it on your lawn.”

  “No.” She held up her hand. “Technically, they are replicating the, uh…’Act of Love’. They’re not really doing it,” she finished off in a weak voice.

  “Are you kidding me? Their naked parts are touching. There are sounds,” he shuddered. “Just because you can be naked, doesn’t mean you should be naked.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked up. “Is this normal? This is what goes down at your house?

  “Wish I could say no.” The perfect excuse to drop out of the date just dropped into her lap. This was only a taste of her crazy life. It wasn’t usually naked crazy, but anything was possible. That would definitely send Sebastian running for the hills. Instead she finished with, “Performance art is a little different but this isn’t even the strangest thing that’s happened back here.”

  “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear any mention of public nudity. You do realize that if this takes place anywhere other than your house, it’s totally illegal.”

  Really? Now she was starting to get annoyed. She crossed her arms, mimicking his stance. “Whatever they do is their business. This is a safe p
lace for artists. Period. And since I’m not doing anything illegal, I’m not sure why we’re still talking about it.”

  “Because I’m staring at two really natural people equating those bodies with legalizing prostitution, I think. I don’t know. You expect… I’m not supposed to talk about it?” The cop facade slipped, and he looked scandalized.

  Ai opened her mouth to blast him, but a deep chuckle popped out. And another and another until she couldn’t breathe. He just looked so…overwhelmed. And too damn cute. It took him a good three minutes before he joined in. They hid behind the treehouse, giggling like disobedient kids.

  “Come on,” she giggled and grabbed his hand. “Let’s sneak out the back gate. We’re being super rude, right now. Luckily, I know the house, so no one will say anything.”

  *

  Sebastian whipped open the passenger side door and escorted Ai inside his F 150. As soon as he sat in front of his steering wheel, he let out a breath, finally able to breathe. Those people…It would take him a long time to process what the hell he’d seen.

  Were people’s bodies meant to move like that?

  Warmth stole over him when he glanced at Ai. She looked absolutely amazing. How she made black boots and flannel look so damn sexy, he’d never know. Maybe because it was a hard contrast to the feminine beauty of her face. Golden brown skin coated her long lean body. Devastating lashes framed ebony eyes that cut like a laser. Straight to his heart.

  Why he felt so comfortable with a woman who clearly wanted nothing to do with him, he’d never know. Maybe it was his curse. Fall for emotionally unavailable women. It wouldn’t be the first time. But for right now, he felt hope. Fire. Passion that he knew burned bright under Ai’s reserved façade.

  “Where’re we going anyway? I want to know what six hundy will get me in this current economy.” She fiddled with the flannel sleeve knotted around her waist. Intermittently, she peeked up at him behind the dark fall of her lashes.