by Lynn Carmer
“Sebastian, it’s too much.” She blinked tears away.
He clamped a hand on her hip, driving home. “It’s never enough. Never!” Full-bodied and slow, each thrust deep inside of her.
She watched his body, fascinated by the pull and tug of his defined muscle. Lightly tan skin coated bulging muscle that look so fluid and beautiful in the moonlight. Bombarded by the look of him, along with the feel and touch, she floated in ecstasy. “I never…it’s never felt this way before.”
“I’ll take care of you.” He moved his hand over, pressing his thumb against her distended nub.
“Wait!” She wanted to watch him, wallow in his beauty but the pressure of his finger swept her away into a frenzied release. She rode the wave, clutching Sebastian’s sweaty body close to hers. The hunger was relentless this time, her sensitive lips quivering with the force of her orgasm. “Oh God, yes!”
“I can feel you.” His hips picked up speed, pounding into her.
She clutched his shoulders, holding him close, loving his loss of control.
“Right there.” He thrust one last time, his arms shaking with the strain of holding himself up. After a few minutes, he collapsed against her, completely boneless.
She loved it. He felt this way because of her. He didn’t move and she didn’t want him to, lost in the feel of him as she coasted her hands over his body, his hair. For a split second, she was overwhelmed by fear, afraid she would lose this feeling. Convinced she would lose him. No matter how in love she’d thought she’d been with her ex, nothing compared to this moment, this rock-solid link.
Please, please, please, let me keep him.
He nuzzled her cheek, as if he heard her deepest, darkest thoughts.
Eventually she fell asleep to the sound of Sebastian whispering sweet nothings in her ear.
Chapter 16
‡
Early in the morning, Ai cuddled up to Sebastian, lying flat on top of him as he lounged on his back. Looking adorably satisfied, he had one hand tucked under his head, and he was grinning wildly.
“You’re really feeling yourself right now, aren’t you?” she sniggered.
“You’re the one who can’t stop touching me.” He gave her a peck on the forehead.
Fair point. She pressed her cheek against his lightly furred chest and breathed him in. Delicious.
“Have dinner with me this week.”
“That’s my work time.” She sighed, half listening. His firm pectorals were so much more fascinating than words. They tasted even better.
“Coffee?” He ran his fingers along her back.
“Hate coffee.”
“Ai, I’m trying to see you again.” Tunneling his hands through her hair, he sifted it through his fingers and spread it all over his face. “Love your hair.”
“I know. My hair is awesome.” She focused on his body. His essence. His luscious muscles clenching and unclenching under her touch. She dotted kisses across his collarbone.
“You will see me again.”
“Will I?”
“You will. You’re addicted to my talented tongue. Do I need to start talking about all the ways I make you feel good?”
“No more.” She slapped a hand over his mouth. “I need food. You’re exhausting.”
“Yuh lub id.” She removed her hand. “You love it. I see what my dirty words do to you.” He leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss against her lips. “When?”
“When what?”
“Am I going to have to move in here? Do you want me playing naked bongos with the boys? Is that the only way to get you to agree to see me?” He sat up on his elbows, almost dislodging her.
She’d hoped to postpone real talk and enjoy the endorphins coursing through her body. But, of course, he wanted to chat. And she didn’t have good news. “Listen, I don’t think you understand. Bad things happen to me on Christmas, no matter how much I love the holiday. But it’s a fact.” She hadn’t admitted that out loud, well…ever. “You may want to reconsider.”
“If you want me to reconsider, you need to explain.”
“Don’t piss me off.” She thumped him against the chest with a flat palm. “That’s none of your business.”
“The hell it isn’t. You’re not going to see me because of some stupid Christmas jinx, and I’m not supposed to ask?”
“No, you’re not.” She struggled to get up.
He flipped her on her back. “Woman. I’m here to stay. Deal with it.”
Her hands shook as she touched his face, tears misting her eyes. “You sure?”
“Ai, talk to me. Whatever it is, I’m willing to work it out.” He kissed her, long and deep and hard. “Talk.”
“It’s been one thing after the other. But it all started with my ex. I was…” she pushed at him but he wouldn’t budge. “Get up, I can’t talk like this.”
He stared her down. Then scooped her up and dumped her in front of him. When she remained boneless, and didn’t move fast enough, he propped her up, even arranging her legs crisscross in front of him. “There.”
“Really?” She slapped at his hands when he tried to adjust her again.
“Speak the words.”
Her whole stomach cramped, dreading the explanation she had to force past her lips. “I was married.”
“Okay? That’s it?”
“No, it never is…is it? It’s complicated and sad, and I don’t want to talk about it, but it ended around the holidays.” Her breath hitched.
“One bad relationship doesn’t mean—”
“The next year, same exact time, my parents moved back to China. Permanently.”
“That’s tough but—”
“My dog died the next Christmas.” Tears misted her eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Ai.”
“Me too.” She blinked away the tears. “I broke my foot, crashed my car… Do you believe me now?”
He looked stony. He stared, a small frown marring his perfect features.
“Say something.”
He opened his mouth, closed it and then…shrugged. “I don’t get it.”
“Forget I said anything.” She slammed a pillow in his face and scrambled from the bed.
He tried to grab her but missed. “I’m sorry about your dog. And the broken foot, I expected something so much worse.” He stood, buck naked. “It’s just bad luck. We all have it.”
“You’re right. You don’t get it.” If he knew how cruel she’d been to ex, how her actions changed the course of his life forever, he wouldn’t be shrugging. All the bad stuff began after her divorce. “I’m not talking about it, anymore.”
“Fine. As long as we keep seeing each other.”
“You’re so pushy.” She rooted around her closet for the silk robe her Māmā insisted she have in case people came over. Something presentable, she’d said.
Screw that. She headed for the dresser as Sebastian rambled on about ‘life” and accepting the bad with the good. Arrogant man. She scooped up her favorite Eleven pajama bottoms, and a white tank top, which made her boobs look amazing. She glanced down at her pebbled nipples and shivered when she thought of all the tender loving care they’d received. All night. From Sebastian’s talented tongue. That fast, she was revved up and ready for round two. She eyed the blond God ticking off all the places they should go, eying his thick thighs. And what hung between them.
Wasn’t I mad at him a minute ago?
“…will I see you after the Christmas Eve party.”
“Are you still talking?”
“Yes. Damn it to hell, woman! I don’t speak to hear the sound of my own voice.” He crossed his arms, and he look rumpled and delicious. Her bedroom color scheme looked fantastic against his warm, sandy skin. She especially loved his chest, sprinkled with brown hair, and his happy trail… it did make her so happy.
“I know that look.” His eyes narrowed. “Nothing’s happening until you say it. We’re officially seeing each other. Before, during, and after Christmas Eve.”
/>
“Anybody ever tell you that you have a big mouth?
“Constantly.” He launched back into bed and tucked his hands back under his head. “Fine. You tell me exactly what you want to do, in vivid detail, and I’m yours. If you can’t say it, well, then we’re official. A couple.”
She cocked her head to the side, debating which body part she wanted to worship first. She could see the images in her mind’s eye, and she briefly shut them to imagine the feel of the rough skin of his cheeks. The smooth slide of his six pack. The way the sunlight, peeking through window slats, caressed his broad shoulders.
She could see it. Envision it. She wanted to replicate it in her art. But speak her wants? Tell him exactly what she needed? Communication was something she avoided, not encouraged. Her cheeks heated at the thought of it. “Can’t I show you? Pretty please?” She walked toward the bed and he snagged her arm, burrowing with her under the covers.
“You really get embarrassed to talk about this stuff, don’t you?”
“I do not.” She grabbed his hair and tugged. “I’m just not a big mouth, like you.”
“Ow!” He wrapped his entire body around hers and rumbled in her ear. “Lucky for you, I do like to talk. To see your reaction. How it feels to be between those silky thighs.”
“Yes. That. Now.” God, she loved that dirty mouth of his, when he finally got around to the good stuff.
“All you have to do is give us a shot.” He nipped at her ear, a deep moan erupting from his throat when she pinched his nipple. “That’s not asking too much.”
“You don’t believe in bad mojo, do you?” She traced his beautiful lips with her finger. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes. We can give it a shot.”
His entire face lit up, and it absolutely gutted her.
“You mean it?” He framed her face, all of the teasing from before gone.
“You’re waiting for that “f” word, aren’t you?” She sighed. “Fine.” But she tempered her dismissiveness with the softest, sweetest kiss she’d ever given. In that moment, she felt laid bare, totally open and vulnerable. If this Christmas was as bad as the ones before, she didn’t know how she’d recover.
Chapter 17
‡
“Oh, my lanta! That dress is fire.” Dacey squealed as she rushed through her bedroom door. “Twirl for me.”
Ai cocked a brow. “I don’t twirl.” She spread out the multi-colored dress, fascinated with the interplay of colors. Burnt golds and light creams swirled in and around the soft pleats. It was like a painting. The navy V and long sleeves complimented the high waist and flowing colors that made up the bottom of the dress.
“Did a designer make that for you?” Dacey finished before Ai could respond. “Now me. What do you think?” She threw off her long coat, looking smoking-hot in a red leather wrap around dress, paired with high boots.
“You’re hotter than my grandma’s slippers,” Ai laughed at the inside joke. Nothing looked better than grandma’s slippers.
“I do feel super sexy in it.”
Ai’s phone beeped, and she snatched it out of the hidden pockets of the gown.
Sebastian had been cyber-stalking her all day. After she instructed him to leave her in peace, his texts had gotten bolder.
The latest: Nothing feels better than you.
She shivered. Always happened, every time.
“Who’s that?” Dacey asked as she studied herself in the full-length mirror.
“Who else?” Dacey hid her smile as she stashed her cell.
“You’re white shadow? God, I love that man. Can you believe how the universe has aligned on this one? My sister from another mister is dating my brother from another mother. It’s kismet…meant to be. And it’s all thanks to me. You’re welcome.”
Ai sat on the edge of her bed and smoothed a hand over the comforter. It reminded her of Sebastian. She fought the urge to bury her nose in it, and see if it still smelled like him. Almost a week had passed since they’d seen each other. Both swamped by work. But the texts? They’d been non-stop.
Beep: Nothing tastes better, either.
Followed by: Can’t wait to see you tonight, my lovely.
“Sarge, again?” Dacey handed Ai a pair of strappy black heels, much higher than she usually wore.
“Yup.”
“Oh, my God. Will you name your first baby after me?” She squealed. “Especially, if it’s a boy.”
“You’re certifiable.” Ai rolled her eyes. “I’m just not hating him, right now. Doesn’t mean I want to have his giant babies. Imagine what that would do to my pelvis?”
“That’s amazing. When’s the last time you didn’t hate a guy?”
“Like, forever.” Ai sighed and buckled her shoe. “So yeah.”
Beep: Shift’s almost over. Can’t wait. Need to hold you again.
Ai smiled despite herself. “Crazy, man. If he keeps texting me, how am I supposed to get ready?”
“You know what I think is interesting?”
“No.” She stood and smoothed out her dress. “Nor do I care.”
“But you do. You may not respond but you read his texts. Every…single…time.” Dacey picked up her coat and strode over, her bouncy spirals like a blond cloud around her head.
Ai flushed, not looking over. She’d become dependent on his texts. So much of him came through them, and she read them like a like a Netflix addict, waiting for her next binge-worthy series.
“Are you putting your hair up? I can help, before I go. Your make-up looks amazing, thanks to me.”
“I’m good.” Ai had allowed Dacey to do her thing, going for the dark and dramatic shade that contrasted beautifully with the colors of the dress. Make-up didn’t bother Ai. In her mind, it was another form of artistic expression and Dacey was a pro.
“Okay then, I’m outie. I have to help set up the party. See you at 8 p.m., sharp. No flaking.” Dacey frowned at her for a split second, trying to be stern, before the sunny smile burst through.
“See you there.” Ai walked her out and braced herself for the full body hug her friend insisted on. She never held back. It was one of the things she most admired about Dacey.
Walking back in, to lock up the house, Ai realized it was one of the few times the place was empty. She savored the silence, shutting and locking the back French door. Her phone rang before she could grab her stuff and make a break for it.
Anticipating Sebastian’s voice, she swiped without looking at the number.
“Boss Lady?”
“Jesús? What’s up? You still bringing me some of your mamá’s tamales?” She shut off all the lights and made one last round.
“Uh…no. We didn’t go straight to my mom’s. We decided to hang with the interpretive dancers for a while.”
“You were trying to check out those naked ladies again, weren’t you?” Ai shuddered at the memory of their unique artistic expression.
“Well…yeah. But things didn’t turn out so great.”
Ai froze. “What do you mean?”
“It means they might arrest us. Could you get over here and maybe explain to them that we’re artists? Not pervs?”
“But you are a perv!” she shouted and glanced at the time on her phone. Still had two full hours before the party. She grabbed her purse and keys. “Where are you? Exactly?”
*
Ai flew downtown, and for once, maybe because it was Christmas Eve, there wasn’t any traffic. They were protesting on brick-lined, Olvera Street, a Mexican marketplace known for their cafes, street vendors, and restaurants. A nice sized crowd, mostly last-minute shoppers, rushed in and out of the tree-shaded block.
Ai rushed through the crowd, feeling ridiculous in her high heels. She spotted Nacho cowering behind a stall, a towel wrapped around his hips.
“Where are your clothes?” She held up her hand. “Scratch that. I don’t need to know. Where’s Jesús?”
“Boss Lady. Y
ou’re here. Gracias a dios.” He shook in his boots. Apparently, he was smart enough to keep those on. “Things aren’t looking good for Jesús.”
“Why not?”
“Because, look.” He pointed toward a narrow street, centrally located, and probably the original location of the buck-naked artists. She recognized Jesús’s scrawny ass, a mile away.
“Did you idiots throw away your clothes?” She threw up her hands.
“Nah. Some kids swiped them. Otherwise, we would have been outta here.” He scratched his goatee and smiled. “I made it out. He didn’t.”
“Why is that? Because you found a towel?” She gestured toward the small square covering his junk.
“No, because I didn’t run into him.” He kicked up his chin toward Jesús again, and Ai looked closer. Sure enough, she recognized the BDE (Big Dick Energy) coming off one particular cop. He sauntered around Jesús with his stupid baby hands propped on his hips.
“Officer Pendejo?” She rounded on Nacho. “You didn’t call Sebastian, did you?”
“No. I called you.”
“Good. Don’t call him. He’s finishing up his shift, and he’s exhausted.” Ai saw red, sick to death of this prick. It was one thing back at the house, but now he was following them?
She stormed over to Jesús. Her lips tight, she tried really hard not to rip anyone’s head off. Sort of. “What the hell is going on here?”
Officer Pendejo spun around and did a double take. “Well, well. You clean up good.” He invaded her space as he checked her out. “I’m used to seeing you covered in paint. I like it.”
His garlic breath made her gag. “Back the fuck off. Why are you holding him? And why aren’t you giving him something to cover up with?”
“You watch your mouth!” He pointed at her. “I don’t have to take this shit from you.”
“Let him go.” She fisted her hands.
“Sure. For a price. What’re you willing to give me, gorgeous?”
“Gross. Don’t make me throw up. And pop a mint.”
His face went beat red.
“Uh, Boss Lady? Maybe try not to make things worse. I want to go home.” Jesús stood hunched over, with one hand cupping his frank and beans. “It’s getting a little chilly out here.”