“Okay, rephrase.” Maria pointed her finger in the air. “Please tell me you guys have had sex more than three times.”
The table shifted as Libby tried to kick our sister. Maria squawked and swung her legs out of the way.
“Shh, girls.” Mom’s soft reprimand was ignored as my sisters laughed at each other. We were in a classy little restaurant with white tablecloths and bulbous wineglasses. One did not kick another under the table in such places.
“Of course we have sex. If anything, it’s gotten better with time.” Libby gave us an imperious smirk as she reached for her wineglass.
I swallowed, not saying anything as Maria perked up. “That’s good to know, because seriously, having twin boys has murdered my sex life. We used to do it all the time, now we’re just too tired. Children suck the life out of you.”
Maria turned to me, clutching my arm. “Don’t rush into babies, Sparky. You enjoy your man while you can.”
Mom cleared her throat, her cheeks heating with color as she patted her daughter’s arm. “Maria, your boys are only two. You will get your sanity…and your sex life back, believe me.” She winked and smiled at us while we each made slightly awkward faces at her. She tipped her hands with an exasperated sigh. “Oh, so I have to sit here listening to your sex lives, but I’m not allowed to subtly refer to the fact your father’s a stallion in the bedroom.”
“Ewww, Mom!” We all groaned in unison while she snickered, triumphantly flicking back her short hair and sitting up straighter.
My stomach revolted against a flood of images swarming me. I tried to counter them with memories of Justin and me in the bedroom. Picturing my sexy man buried inside me was hot and could definitely burn Mom’s mean tidbit from my mind.
But there was just one little—major—problem.
I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had sex.
Since returning from England and Jane’s nightmare wedding day, I could count on one hand the number of times we’d slept together. Life had swallowed us whole. Work took over, dragging me into a world of fashion that I loved. But the hours were really long. And I wasn’t the only one working my ass off. Some days, Justin and I barely saw each other. I’d fall into bed after he’d gone to sleep, and then he’d be up and out the door before I’d woken in the morning.
When the hell were we supposed to fit sex into the equation?
Holidays were taken up with family time…and that wasn’t exactly the happiest of occasions. The Doyle family Christmas in New Mexico had been a solemn, empty affair. Blake’s absence was like a freaking black hole, but no one wanted to talk about it.
And the weekends were filled with Justin studying for his law degree and me immersed in my sketchbook—my sanctuary.
I took a sip from my wineglass, holding the liquid in my mouth before pushing it down my thick throat.
“Sarah, you’re quiet today, sweetie.” Mom smiled at me while reaching for her own glass.
I snickered and shrugged as I tried to brush off the three curious gazes.
Maria rolled her eyes. “She’s probably thinking about the hot ass she’s going to get tonight.”
“Maria,” Mom chided.
“Oh, come on, Mom.” Libby giggled. “First year of marriage.” She let out a dreamy sigh and looked to the ceiling. “You couldn’t get Trent and me out of the bedroom some weekends.”
I forced a laugh, my cheeks burning with color.
“Oh, there it is.” Maria pointed at me. “Look at that face. You and Justin are like bunny rabbits, aren’t you?”
“I think it’s about time I head back to work.” I made sure my voice was light and bouncy, not wanting to give away my thundering heartbeat or the way my stomach curdled at the truth screaming through my brain.
“Oh, no, you don’t. You’ve got ten minutes left.” Maria tapped her watch.
Our lunch dates were a monthly thing my mother insisted on. I didn’t mind so much, but some days I felt like my sister in New York, Annabelle, was the lucky one. Usually, we spoke about stuff like kids and houses and education. Safe topics. If I’d known that particular lunch was going to be a sex-ed on my family’s marriages, I would have given it a miss.
Before I strutted my busy butt into the restaurant, I would have told anyone that my marriage was doing okay. We were a busy, professional couple, working hard so we could eventually achieve our goals.
But watching Libby’s face as she talked about her first year of marriage, and the way Mom’s eyes danced as she talked about Dad? I couldn’t imagine Justin and me ever getting to that point. Not the rate we were going.
And our goals?
What goals?
I couldn’t even remember what they were.
We were both just busy trying to survive.
Forcing my lips into a smile, I tried to hide my thoughts. Mom told Dad everything, and I didn’t need to give my father any kind of fuel against Justin. If he thought I was even the tiniest bit unhappy, he’d find a way to blame my husband.
Having a protective father came with some serious downsides.
My unhappiness wasn’t all Justin’s fault.
Work was my haven, where nothing bad could touch me.
It was easier being there than facing the silent agony of home. Blake’s death had done something to us, something I couldn’t even identify. It was too hard, too big to talk about. So I hid out at work…and Justin did the same.
I winked at Maria then looked at my mother. “Congratulations on the upcoming wedding anniversary, Mom. I hope your holiday is amazing. You deserve it.”
“Thank you, sweet girl.” She gave me her I love you so much smile, and I grinned back, reaching across the table and giving her hand a squeeze.
“Sorry, but I really have to go. Enjoy the rest of your lunch, ladies.”
“Enjoy your sex tonight.” Maria sang the last word, making Libby giggle.
I punched out a laugh and swatted her arm. “Behave, you.”
She slapped me on the butt as I walked away from the table. I gave it a wiggle, putting on the show they wanted. I was the playful younger sister, the sweet girl with the ready smile. They didn’t need to know about my limp heart and the fact it started gasping for air every time I walked through my front door.
Clearing my throat, I lifted my chin and shook the thought from my mind. Powering back to work, I strode into the office, determined to disappear into layers of fabric and joy. I set down my handbag and smiled at Jules. He had a pencil between his teeth, so he settled for wiggling his eyebrows at me.
I chuckled and pulled out my stool, ready to sit.
“Sarah, Enrique would like to see you in his office.” Chantelle brushed past my work table, her demure smile barely moving her cheeks.
“Okay.” I followed after her, flicking a glance over my shoulder. Jules was giving me a big thumbs-up and shaking his hips in a happy dance.
I bit back my smile and tried to quell the anxious giggles rocking my stomach. Readjusting my loose, powder blue shirt with the black polka dots, I made sure it sat just right before smoothing my hands down my fitted ankle-length pants and nervously walking into Enrique DeMarco’s office.
The man was a celebrity in the fashion industry. What his parents had started, and he had grown, was amazing. I’d always loved Echelon Fashion’s designs, and being offered a job there still blew my mind sometimes. I couldn’t believe it. Fresh out of college and working for one of the most prestigious fashion houses in the industry. It was insane.
Enrique sat behind his desk, looking suave in his charcoal business suit. The man oozed a cool kind of charm that most guys could only dream of having. For a guy in his fifties, he really had it all going for him—thick waves of dark brown hair speckled with a few gleaming strands of silver, a chiseled face with a rich, tanned skin that spoke of his Italian heritage. He was a good-looking man and would probably stay that way for a very long time. I glanced behind his desk at the family photo on the wall. His wife—totally st
unning—used to be a model. I’d read that was how they met. They looked so happy together, their arms lovingly placed around their only daughter, Kelly—another beauty.
Apparently, she worked with Justin, but we hadn’t met many of each other’s colleagues yet. Justin had spoken to Jules once, but that was about it. We were both too busy to attend each other’s work functions, and since starting at Echelon, I hadn’t had the time to pop into Torrence Records to visit either my husband or my father.
“Good afternoon, Mr. DeMarco.”
“Please, how many times must I tell you to call me Enrique.” He indicated the chair in front of his desk. My heels tapped on the wood as I walked toward it. Enrique’s keen eyes traveled down my body, no doubt assessing my outfit. I perched on the edge of the shiny leather chair and looked up at him. He gave me an approving smile, but it didn’t do much to quell my nerves. Enrique traveled a lot, so people were hyper aware of his presence when he was actually in LA. From what I could gather, the staff really loved him, but even after a year, I still felt like a newbie and he put me on edge. I so badly wanted to impress him, prove that he’d made the right decision in hiring me.
Threading his fingers together, he placed them lightly on his desk and shone me a warm smile. “How are you doing, Sarah?”
I liked his accent. Even though he’d been raised in the States, he’d managed to retain his Italian lilt. It was kind of sexy.
I couldn’t help a blush as I answered him. “Good. I love it here. Thank you so much for the opportunity.”
“Julian is very impressed with you.”
“Oh, Jules is amazing. He’s so talented, and I’m learning so much from him. He’s a wonderful mentor.”
The edge of Enrique’s mouth tipped with a barely-there smile. “He thinks a few of your pieces are ready for the catwalk.”
“Really?” I nearly fell off the chair. My body jolted when my voice pitched high. I perched my heels on the polished floor and laughed. “He…said that?”
“He met with me yesterday, showed me some of your pieces, and suggested you might like to accompany me to Las Vegas in a couple of weeks.”
“For the show? The Vegas show?”
Enrique snickered, obviously finding my five-year-old enthusiasm amusing. I cleared my throat and willed my voice to calm the hell down.
“Sorry,” I murmured. “This is just so exciting.”
“Then it’s settled. I will take you, Julian, and Franco from here, and Sasha, Colin, and Michael will join us from New York. You can help with setup and be backstage for the show. Here are the pieces I’d like you to bring.” He handed me a sheet of paper. “And on Saturday night, you will accompany me to the after party.”
“Wow,” I whispered, taking the sheet and scanning the pictures. He liked my cobalt dress! Holy crap, he liked the dress!
“And for all your hard work, I will even let you have Sunday to enjoy Vegas.”
I giggled. I couldn’t help it.
“Feel free to bring a friend with you, if you’d like.”
“Really?”
“It’s your first show. You must have someone there to celebrate with you.”
My smile was so huge it took over my entire face.
He chuckled and picked up the gold pen on his desk, tapping it lightly on his palm. “Do you have someone in mind?”
“Yes.” I nodded, my voice firm and sure.
I was taking my husband. This show was an opportunity to get Justin away from his work. I had Sunday off, a whole day to enjoy Vegas. A whole new chance to revive what Justin and I used to have together. All we needed was to get out of LA for a few days. Once the show was done, I could give him my full attention. Who knew what we could get up to after the party.
I pressed my lips together, quelling the smile threatening to expose me. Three nights and a full day off in Vegas…I was sure we could entertain ourselves quite nicely.
Chapter Eight
Justin
“Y-yes, Mom, work is g-great.” I tried to keep my voice light as I assured my mother that I was doing the best job I could. Our weekly call consisted of the same questions and answers every time. It was like this weird routine.
How is work? Good.
How is school? Great.
Are you managing to juggle it all? Of course I am.
My standard answers and the truth were not always in line, but it’s what my mother needed to hear. She couldn’t handle bad news like she used to. No one in the Doyle house could. The star member in our family was buried under six feet of dirt. It was kind of hard for his golden coat to shine from down there.
A sick guilt that tasted old and stale simmered in my gut. Blake shouldn’t be where he was. He should be the one on the phone chatting to our mother and reassuring her that life was beautiful.
Movement outside my door caught my eye. I spotted her red hair before I saw her face, and bolted upright.
“Mom, I gotta go. Jane’s here.”
“Give her our love.” Mom’s voice wavered.
“I will,” I croaked, smoothing down my tie before ending the call.
“Hey.” Jane stepped into my office. Her emerald eyes didn’t shine as bright these days. I studied the contours of her white face, noticing the permanent strain around her eyes and the sad dip of her rosebud lips. She’d always been beautiful¸ but it wasn’t the same. A piece of her had been stolen on her wedding day, and no matter how hard I wished for it, I couldn’t give it back to her.
I cleared my throat and stood from my desk, walking around to give her a slightly awkward hug. It was the kind where you pat the back and pull free as quickly as possible.
“S-s-so, I have the stuff here f-for you.” I turned to my shelves and pulled off the stack of Chaos posters Marcus had given me.
“Thank you so much. The kids will love this. I just couldn’t think what to give them as an end-of-year present.”
“Rock s-star s-signatures are always a g-good way to go.”
Her lips twitched with a micro-smile.
Man, her face used to light like the sun when Blake was around. I couldn’t remember the last time I heard her laugh. My brother would be so disappointed in me. I didn’t need to hear it from him to know that he’d want me to look after his girl. I was doing a terrible job. She looked thin and lost…depleted. I knew exactly how she felt, but I couldn’t voice any of it. The thick, black emotions were clogged in my throat, coating my interior like a viscous poison.
“So, um…” I ran a hand over my curls. “Y-you looking f-forward to s-summer break?”
“Not really.” She shrugged, holding the posters like a big, uncomfortable teddy bear. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do with myself. I’ve only got three weeks left before my students leave and then I’m…” She shrugged again. “I don’t know.”
The anniversary of Blake’s death was approaching. She’d be in the middle of summer break when it happened. I closed my eyes, not wanting to think about it. How could it have only been a year? It felt like a freaking decade.
The horrific incident had sliced years off all our lives.
Jane licked her lower lip, looking awkward as she tipped back on her heels. Her thin legs were hidden beneath a long, floaty skirt. The belt around her hips was looped tighter than usual. I could tell by the markings that she was having to make it smaller just to keep it from sliding down her legs.
Geez, I was the world’s worst brother.
It should have been me in that ditch.
I swallowed, tortured by images of Sarah standing next to Blake with that hollow look in her eyes. He would have done better though. He would have held her close, talked her through it. I couldn’t say anything, so I just stood in my office like an idiot, internally bleeding as I watched the love of Blake’s life try to hold herself together.
“I-I’ll walk you out, shall I?”
“Sure.” Jane nodded, obviously relieved by the suggestion.
We stepped into the corridor and shuffled to
ward the elevators. “How’s Sarah doing?”
“G-good. Busy with work, of course. Y-you should stop by s-sometime.”
“I will. Once I get through these last chaotic weeks. End-of-year stuff is always crazy.”
“I-I don’t know how you do it.”
“Eleven- and twelve-year-olds aren’t so bad…and kids seem to love music, so…” She sighed.
I could tell by the look on Jane’s face that she was remembering my brother. He was the one who had encouraged her to pursue music in the first place. She was gearing up to study English and history, but halfway through her degree, she’d switched to music and teaching middle school instead of high school. She’d been overjoyed by the move. I wondered if she still felt the same way.
We slowed to a stop outside the elevators. “Well, g-good luck.”
“You too. Are you taking a summer break?”
“Not sure. Sarah and I h-haven’t really t-talked about it yet. I-I’ll let you know though.”
“Don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t want to be a third wheel.”
I grabbed her shoulder before she could turn away and step into the elevator. “You never would be. J-Jane, you’ll always be f-family.”
Her sad eyes glistened with a smile as she mouthed, “Thank you.”
I let her go, and she disappeared behind the thick metal doors. Kneading the back of my neck, I listened to the elevator descend before spinning back to my office.
Kelly, the lady who started at Torrence a few months after me, smiled when I passed reception, her keen eyes reading everything. I forced a tight grin and picked up my pace. I didn’t want her to see my shame, and the incredibly lousy job I was doing at filling the gap Blake had left behind.
Chapter Nine
Sarah
The grocery bags tried to cut off the circulation in my arms. I lugged them into the house and dropped the canvas sacks onto the counter then blew a strand of hair off my face. I hadn’t been shopping in weeks. Work was all-consuming. Both Justin and I were constantly busy, and it was a fight to get fresh food in the house. Takeout was more common than anything, but that night, I was determined to cook something decent. I had my Vegas news to share, and I wanted Justin to actually sit and hear me.
Rough Water (Songbird #7) Page 4