Unstable

by Charity Parkerson

  Changing directions, Jimmy headed for the parking lot. Eli had a hard time keeping up with the man’s long stride. Lack of food and sleep wasn’t helping matters. When he reached the passenger side of a newer model F150, Jimmy waited for Eli to catch up before opening the door and motioning Eli inside.

  It seemed there should’ve been a hint of fear inside Eli. Just as the night they’d met, Eli allowed Jimmy to lure him into being alone with barely a single qualm. He climbed inside without argument. Jimmy closed the door behind him before circling the truck and crawling in behind the wheel. Logically, Eli knew Jimmy could fire the vehicle to life and take him anywhere. A trill of excitement ran through him at the thought. He’d never been anywhere before. This town was his home. Most likely, he’d never leave it. Reality crashed down on Eli’s shoulders, bringing with it a wave of sadness. He’d never be anything—go anywhere.

  Jimmy slid closer. Eli didn’t move. A tiny voice inside Eli’s brain screamed for the man to kiss him—the way he’d done the night before. Their faces were only inches apart. Eli could close the distance between them, making the first move. Cowardice held him in check. Alcohol had fueled Jimmy’s kiss last night. No doubt, sober, the man wouldn’t dream of touching Eli. Still, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from Jimmy’s face. The man’s features were cut to perfection. There was a dimple in his chin. Eli realized he’d never seen Jimmy smile—not really. Not enough to know if there were dimples in his cheeks as well.

  “Do you ever smile?” The question slipped from Eli without his permission. Jimmy reached behind Eli’s seat and grabbed a cooler.

  He set it between them. “I’ll smile if you share this food with me.”

  Eli eyed the contents of the ice chest as Jimmy popped it open. It was the same basic meal Jimmy fed him three years ago. It looked like a feast.

  “See,” Jimmy continued. “I figured you wouldn’t let me buy you dinner, but I hoped you’d at least share a sandwich with me.”

  Eli’s gaze shifted from the food to Jimmy’s hopeful expression. “And you’ll smile if I agree?”

  Jimmy nodded. It was a solemn gesture. Eli took him at his word. He reached inside the cooler and grabbed a ham and cheese. His stomach growled. Jimmy smiled at the sound. Everything inside Eli froze at the sight. Even his lungs refused to work. He did have dimples. Amazing dimples that transformed his entire face, making him seem younger. They stole every thought from Eli’s head, including his embarrassment over his growling stomach.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  Jimmy’s smile fell. “I’m rotten, Eli. All the way to my core. Don’t ever forget it, okay?”

  Eli refused to agree.

  Jimmy sighed. “Eat your sandwich. The clock is ticking on your lunch break and we still need to talk.” Eli took a bite because Jimmy said to. Jimmy nodded as if satisfied Eli would do as told. “I shouldn’t have kissed you last night.”

  The food turned to ash in Eli’s mouth. He swallowed, hoping it would stay down. He knew Jimmy was right and that didn’t make things better. “I know you’re with someone.”

  Jimmy shook his head. “That’s not it. You’re too young for someone as jaded as I am.”

  A low laugh escaped Eli. An unfamiliar sensation tugged at the corners of his mouth. “That’s hilarious.”

  Jimmy’s gaze dropped to his mouth. Eli swiped at his lips, wondering if he had food covering his face. Finding nothing, he dropped his hand. Jimmy’s gaze didn’t budge.

  “Why is that funny?”

  Eli shrugged, deciding to ignore the way Jimmy was looking at him. “My dad used to beat me almost every day until I tried stabbing him and he kicked me out at fifteen. Living on the streets wasn’t better, in case you were wondering. I’m pretty sure I have the market cornered on being jaded.”

  “There are a lot of shitty men in the world, fighting demons they can’t control,” Jimmy said, still staring at Eli’s mouth.

  “Even you?” Eli shot back before he could stop himself, since Jimmy had claimed he was rotten to the core.

  Jimmy’s gaze lifted, meeting Eli’s. “Especially me.” Instead of elaborating, Jimmy reached into the ice chest and grabbed a sandwich. After taking a bite, he rooted around until he found two drinks. He passed one Eli’s way. They ate in silence. Mostly because Eli was awkward and didn’t know what normal people talked about.

  “Where are you living at now?”

  Eli nearly groaned in his relief. It seemed Jimmy knew how to make small talk. “I’m renting a room above The Donut Shoppe down the road. It’s within walking distance, so it works.” Eli finished his sandwich without looking at Jimmy. He hated talking about himself. Anything was better than silence at the moment.

  “Are you sick of the smell of pastries?” The heavy laughter in Jimmy’s voice had Eli glancing over. He wanted to see the man smiling again. Eli wasn’t disappointed.

  Biting back an inner happy sigh, Eli shrugged. “It’s not that bad. The old lady who runs the place gives me free donuts all the time, so at least I don’t starve.” Eli looked away again before the final word left his lips. He didn’t want to see any pity on Jimmy’s face.

  “Do you have a phone?”

  Eli wadded up his trash and looked for a place to stash it. Jimmy took it from his hand and tossed it in the cooler. Still, Eli couldn’t find the courage to look at Jimmy again. “I try to keep up payments on my pre-paid, but sometimes my minutes expire before I can buy more.” He fucking hated this. It was as if Jimmy dug for Eli’s every secret shame. A card appeared underneath his nose. The logo for Jimmy’s bar stared up him.

  “The numbers to the bar here in town, the one I own in Nashville, and my cell are all on there.”

  He owned two bars. Perfect. Could the man get any farther out of Eli’s reach? “I’m not a charity case,” Eli argued even as he accepted the card.

  “That’s a first.”

  Eli’s gaze shot to Jimmy’s face at the odd statement. “What’s a first?”

  Jimmy shook his head and chuckled. “I’ve never had anyone consider getting my number as an act of charity.”

  “What is this, then?” Eli asked. He couldn’t let this continue a second longer without knowing.

  With a sigh, Jimmy glanced at his watch before slipping from the truck. Eli blinked at the spot where the man had been sitting behind the wheel only moments earlier. His door opened. Jimmy stood with his hands shoved in his coat pockets, waiting for Eli to get out. Since it was obvious Jimmy didn’t intend to answer his question, Eli slid from the truck.

  “Thank you for dinner.”

  Jimmy still didn’t respond. With the door standing wide, he took a step forward, backing Eli against the edge of the seat before he could get away. He’d forgotten how huge Jimmy was until the man hovered over him, forcing Eli to crane his neck to hold his stare. “This coat looks familiar,” Jimmy said, eyeing the material and tugging at the lapels of Eli’s jacket.

  Heat flooded Eli’s cheeks. “Um. That’s because it’s yours.”

  “Huh,” Jimmy grunted, looking unfazed. “I wondered where it had gotten off to. It looks better on you anyhow.” Tightening his hold on the lapels, he tugged Eli closer, shrinking the gap between them. Eli’s mouth went dry. “It’s the green,” Jimmy explained. “It makes your eyes stand out.” With every word, Jimmy moved closer. Without thought, Eli went up onto his toes as Jimmy dipped his head. As they had the night before, their lips met and Eli’s mind deserted him. Jimmy’s hair fell forward, caressing Eli’s face. The scent of citrus tickled his nose. Nostalgia hit with a vengeance. It smelled the same as the shampoo he’d used in Jimmy’s shower, the night the man had taken him in. He’d sworn he’d never forget the smell. The odd heat he’d felt in his gut that night, as Jimmy had torn the tag from his shirt, settled inside Eli once more. Back then, he’d been too scared, tired, and hungry to recognize the sensation. Now, he embraced the desire for more from Jimmy.

  The sting of Jimmy’s teeth sinking into Eli’s bot
tom lip had Eli gasping from the pain. When his lips parted, Jimmy’s tongue slipped inside, stroking his. He didn’t know what he was doing. For the past three years, he’d been too poor to take anyone out and, before that, too homeless to be of any interest. It was funny how much life could pass a person by while they were concentrating on trying to survive. Every move Jimmy made, Eli mirrored it, hoping the man wouldn’t stop. He could barely breathe past the lust clawing at his insides. His hands lifted on their own accord and dipped inside Jimmy’s jacket. Without thought, he found his way underneath Jimmy’s shirt, going for bare skin. He needed to know how Jimmy felt beneath his fingertips.

  Jimmy groaned against Eli’s lips. The sound went straight to Eli’s cock. “Fuck. I need to let you get back to work. You can’t be late.”

  Work? Goddamn it. He did have that. Jimmy’s lips were so full and soft, Eli couldn’t resist; he went for them again, craving more. Jimmy let it happen. Maybe he had no clue what he was doing, but Eli knew the man’s bottom lip tasted like heaven and Eli couldn’t stop drawing it between his teeth, savoring the flavor.

  Jimmy broke away. With his forehead pressed to Eli’s, he kept his eyes closed. Eli stared at him, memorizing every line. “You have my number,” Jimmy said, reminding Eli of the card Jimmy had given him. “Use it, okay?”

  Eli nodded.

  With a dip of his chin, Jimmy captured Eli’s mouth once more for another kiss before pulling away. “Get back to work.”

  Since his voice wouldn’t work, Eli nodded again before pulling from Jimmy’s hold with every bit of regret he felt in his heart. He kept his head down as he headed back inside. The sensation of Jimmy’s eyes upon his back lingered until Eli cleared the door. People milled all around him. Eli didn’t see a thing. A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, making his cheeks ache. Chances were good he’d never see Jimmy again. He hadn’t forgotten about Jace. But life gave him so few opportunities for happiness, Eli wasn’t above grasping for every moment. Jimmy was out of his league and above his reach. The man had issues and Eli had nothing. Still, he wouldn’t have traded the past half hour for anything in the world.

  As he passed through the door of Hollow Edge, the weight of the world settled on his shoulders once more. This was his place in life, such as it was. He stuffed his coat under the register, determined to get back to it. A worn-looking envelope slipped from the pocket of the jacket and onto the floor. For a moment, he simply stared at it, incapable of moving. When his brain accepted he wasn’t imagining things, he bent and scooped it up.

  The envelope was sealed and felt lighter than it had been when Eli delivered it to Jimmy. Maybe he’d kept part of the money? Eli had been saving that money for a long time. The envelope had been stuffed with ones, five, tens, and twenties, making it thick as hell and straining against its load. This was nothing in comparison. Eli ripped it open. It was still filled with money, except now there was nothing but hundreds. Way more than ten. There was a note on top. Eli pulled it out.

  Every time you try returning this money to me, you’ll get it back times three. Unless it’s your intention to bankrupt me, stop trying to repay me. This is a gift. Not a loan. I need to know you’re not struggling. –Jimmy

  Eli felt sick. He sifted through the contents of the envelope, doing a quick count. Sure enough, there was three thousand inside. His knees weakened. Why had Jimmy done this? He folded up the money and crammed it in the front pocket of his jeans before anyone spotted it. Walking to and from work every day already made him a target. God forbid anyone know he was carrying around three thousand dollars. Another thought hit. Eli’s heart skipped a beat. Had Jimmy only kissed him so he could slip the money in his pocket while Eli was distracted?

  Alisha appeared over his shoulder. “Are you okay? You look kind of pale.”

  “I’m not feeling so great,” Eli muttered. His brain didn’t want to work right.

  She glanced around. “We’re pretty dead tonight. Maybe you should go home?”

  It wasn’t as if he couldn’t afford it. There was three fucking thousand dollars in his pocket. The ache in his chest increased. Eli could barely breathe. He should’ve known Jimmy wouldn’t claim he regretted kissing him and then kiss him a second time. Even though things happened fast the night before, that hadn’t stopped Eli from getting a good look at Jace. That man was everything Eli wasn’t—built, handsome, and closer to Jimmy in age.

  “Yeah,” Eli said, grabbing his coat and letting Alisha know he hadn’t forgotten her. “I think I’ll go home. If I’m coming down with something, I don’t want everyone catching it.” He didn’t think stupidity was contagious, but one could never be too careful.

  Chapter 3

  “I made a cake for you,” Annabelle said, sounding chipper.

  “But you don’t get a slice until you apologize,” Karl said, cutting in.

  Sam’s gaze moved between the two. He looked wary. Jimmy gave himself a quick pat on the back for choosing to hang in the kitchen and avoid the crowd of Sam and Holden’s engagement party. Of course, really, this put him closer to the liquor, but he also had good floor seats to the shit show. He covered his mouth, hiding his smile over the worried glint in Sam’s eyes. Not that anyone paid Jimmy any attention. People rarely noticed Jimmy unless he announced his presence. It had always been that way. He bled into the background.

  Sam cleared his throat. “Did I miss something?”

  “Apparently, you missed a few lessons on how to mind your business,” Karl said, doing an admirable job of making a man who stood a foot taller than him shuffle his feet like a boy who’d been called to the carpet. “I recently heard a tale about you trying to stick your nose in my son’s marriage.”

  Jimmy settled deeper into his seat. This was one show he didn’t want to miss. Everyone knew about Logan’s relationship with two men—his husband and their partner. Jimmy thought they were adorable. No one cared what the three men did behind closed doors—except Sam. When Sam had learned of Logan and Malik inviting Ryan to permanently share their bed, he’d lost his shit, showing a puritan side Jimmy never expected. It seemed Logan’s parents didn’t share Sam’s opinion.

  “I’ve let that go,” Sam said, trying to explain. “But I spoke up in the first place, because I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”

  Karl’s voice dropped to a deadly level. “My son wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

  Annabelle nodded along. “We raised him better than that.”

  “Abort,” Jimmy mouthed behind Karl, making slashing motions across this throat, but Sam ignored him.

  “I didn’t want to see him get hurt either,” Sam said, keeping up the argument.

  Jimmy stood, hoping to make it to cover before the fireworks flew.

  A low growl sounded from Karl. “A fly wouldn’t hurt my son if it knew what was good for it.”

  Annabelle continued to nod, having her husband’s back. Malik cleared the kitchen door, bringing all eyes his way. Jimmy sat back down. Sam did what any smart man would do—he threw Malik under the bus.

  “Malik and Logan separated for a while last year and didn’t tell you,” Sam said before running for his life. Malik froze, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

  “I…”

  It couldn’t have been more obvious Malik didn’t know what to say.

  Annabelle waved a dismissive hand at him. “Don’t worry over it, Malik. We already knew all about it.”

  Malik’s face screwed up in confusion. “You did?”

  She nodded, looking confident. “A mother knows these things, and I’m not above snooping. It was obvious Logan was upset all the time. So I called and talked to that pretty blonde girl, Julie, who worked as his assistant at River Night Brewery. She told me everything.”

  “Oh.”

  Annabelle snorted at Malik’s shocked expression. “Don’t look so surprised, babe. I knew you’d work things out. It’s like I said—a mother knows.” She glanced Jimmy’s way, making him realize she hadn’t been obli
vious to his presence. “Jimmy, are you seeing anyone?”

  Eli flashed to mind. “Yes, ma’am,” he said even as he wondered why. He wasn’t seeing anyone. Jace had dumped him after a short two months together, three weeks ago—thank God—and Eli was… Well, he didn’t know yet. Since he hadn’t called, Jimmy assumed they were nothing at all—but that kiss. Wow. He couldn’t stop thinking about it.

  “I bet your mother knows all about him, doesn’t she?” she asked, looking confident. Jimmy almost hated to burst her bubble.

  “Darling, my momma forgot where she put me when I was eight. FYI, it was where she’d bought her last crack rock, which was a horrible place for a child, in case you were wondering. That’s the last I heard of her.”

  Everyone in the kitchen froze. All eyes turned his way. Since he’d passed three sheets to the wind hours ago, he honestly didn’t care.

  Annabelle, proving to be the trooper, didn’t back down. “So that’s a no?”

  Jimmy snorted. “Yes, ma’am. That’s a no.”

  Her hands lifted before falling back to her sides. She cast a desperate look around the kitchen. He felt bad for bringing it up. “Why isn’t your man here with you or did I miss my introduction?”

  Since he’d already ruined one of her points for the day, he smiled and played along. “My invitation didn’t say anything about bringing a guest. I didn’t want to assume.”

  Annabelle huffed. “That’s bull and you know it. Go get him and get back here before presents at eight.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Jimmy said, coming to his feet. Before he could get away, she pulled him in for a hug.

  She dropped her voice where no one else could hear. “You should’ve told me about your mom. Not that I should have to tell you this, but you know you have a family right here.”

  His arms tightened around her. “Yes, ma’am. I know.”

  She patted his ass. “Go get…”