Unstable

by Charity Parkerson

  A low and sexy laugh rumbled through the truck. “You like my eyes. I love yours. That settles it. We’d make beautiful babies together.”

  A surprised bark of laughter escaped Eli at the ridiculous comment. “What’s your favorite food?” Eli asked without giving Jimmy a chance to supply the next topic.

  “That’s easy. Steak.”

  “Anything Mexican,” Eli said before Jimmy could ask.

  “Turn up here on the left.”

  Eli did as told.

  “It’s the first house. Right there,” Jimmy said, pointing out a house with light-colored siding and a two-car garage. As Eli pulled into the driveway, Jimmy stretched across the seat and hit a button attached to the sun visor. The first door slid open and Eli pulled inside. Jimmy hit the button again and the door swept closed behind them, shutting them inside. Eli killed the engine. Neither of them opened their door. Jimmy shifted in his seat until he sat sideways, focusing his attention on Eli.

  “I sleep with the lights on. There’re no TVs in my house. I don’t vote, because I don’t care, and even though I’m great with numbers, I didn’t finish school. Everything I have, I earned through blood, sweat, and tears. If I lost it tomorrow, I’d probably be too drunk to care.” Jimmy didn’t slow. Eli hung on every word. “There’re very few people I like, and I most likely wouldn’t notice if they fell off the planet. I don’t believe in God and can’t stand most people who do. In fact, the only prayer I’ve uttered in years was a plea for a zombie apocalypse to wipe out people of religion. Most people think I’m an asshole. I don’t care about that either. The only thing I like almost as much as drinking is working out. I also take part in MMA matches under the Smith Brothers company. Since we met, I can’t stop thinking about you.” Eli’s heart turned over in his chest. Jimmy wasn’t finished. “Not even alcohol blurs the image of you in my mind. That’s never happened to me before. Even though I never would’ve believed it, I like it and I want to keep seeing you.”

  “Okay.” There it was again. It was like Eli was a computer programmed with limited speech. He winced at his own dumbassary. Jimmy’s chuckle made everything better. An unfamiliar ache in Eli’s face made him realize he was smiling. “I don’t have a list prepared,” he told Jimmy, in case the man expected to hear one. “Sleeping with the lights on doesn’t bother me. Very few things put me off my sleep. I don’t own a TV either. Not out of any hatred for television. It’s just always seemed like an unnecessary expense when I can get books from the library for free. I don’t vote because I hate politicians. If I need someone to lie to me, I can talk to myself— no need to make a special effort for it.” He tried to remember everything Jimmy had said, so he could give the man the same details he’d shared. He had a feeling he was forgetting a few items. “My parents were religious zealots. That’s put me off religion of any kind. I do believe in God, though. That belief gives me someone to talk to other than myself. I don’t love anything or anyone, especially me.”

  He held Jimmy’s gaze. “I don’t know why you can’t get me out of your head, but the feeling is mutual. Although I think you meant since the other night, while you’ve been in mine for the past three years. I just…” Eli shrugged, searching for a way to explain his thoughts before trying again. “I just want to spend time with you. It doesn’t matter what we do. I don’t even care if you’re sober for it.”

  Jimmy’s mouth lifted in one corner. He snorted. “You’re totally unique. Everyone I know is set on fixing me.”

  Eli’s hands lifted of their own accord before falling back to his lap. “I can’t fix myself much less anyone else. To me, you’re not a project. I don’t need one of those, but I want whatever this is happening between us.”

  “Me too,” Jimmy said, making the words sound closer to a vow. “Do you want to see inside?”

  When Eli nodded, Jimmy got out. Eli followed. Now that they were headed inside, Eli’s nerves set in. They’d been alone before. Hell, they’d been alone for the past half hour. Facts didn’t matter to the flutter in Eli’s stomach. Jimmy was so much more everything than Eli. At the moment, Jimmy wanted to keep seeing him. Eli was scared shitless that if he stayed much longer, Jimmy would realize how lacking Eli really was. All the fear in the world didn’t stop Eli from stepping through the door. The scent of apples and cinnamon hit Eli. His stomach cramped with longing. The place smelled like the home he’d always imagined. After turning off the alarm, Jimmy switched on the lights, revealing a polished kitchen. Wood cabinets and granite countertops called for Eli’s touch. He wanted to run his fingertips across every surface. The appliances were all black, blending well with the rest of the kitchen. Eli’s gaze automatically sought the source of the delicious smell. A round container of colorful oils caught his eye. Eli moved closer. The aroma increased. He had to stop himself from picking it up and bringing it to his nose.

  Jimmy headed for the next room. Eli scurried to catch up. Another light flared to life, revealing a large living room. A sectional took up one quarter of the room and a bookshelf lined one wall. Eli headed straight for it. He’d lied when he’d told Jimmy he didn’t love anything. Books were an escape from a harsh reality. He couldn’t get enough. Even the way they smelled warmed his heart. Spotting an old and worn-looking novel, Eli pulled it from the shelf. He didn’t look at the title before bringing the book to his nose and sucking in a deep breath. Old pages had a certain scent— like dreams.

  Jimmy’s arms encircled Eli’s waist. His chest cradled Eli’s back. Eli’s eyes shot open in horror as he realized what he’d done. “That’s my favorite,” Jimmy said, setting his chin on Eli’s shoulder. “It’s about a man who goes insane watching his neighbor through her window every night. You see, their bedroom windows are next to each other,” Jimmy said, warming up to the topic. “He spots her hugging her pillow and crying one night. From then on, he can’t stop watching her and creating stories about her life.”

  “I’ve read it,” Eli admitted, almost hating to ruin Jimmy’s story. He loved the sound of Jimmy’s voice. It was comforting.

  “Really?”

  Eli nodded and set the book on the shelf. “Yes. I had a book hangover for two weeks after reading it. Usually, I have endings figured out almost immediately. But, when I got to the end, I was shocked. Never saw it coming.”

  Jimmy nodded. His chin rocked against Eli’s shoulder at the motion. “Yeah. I had no idea it was the woman all along, looking into a mirror, but seeing herself with one of her many personalities.”

  Eli chuckled. “I started it over from the beginning right away, trying to figure out how I missed the clues.”

  Jimmy’s lips brushed Eli’s neck. His eyes fell closed at the sensation.

  Fingertips brushed Eli’s stomach, skin on skin. He went hard. Lust like he’d never experienced before slammed into him. A pant escaped him. He clenched his teeth to keep it from happening again. Jimmy mouth opened over the cords of Eli’s neck. A moan followed the pant. Jimmy’s fingertips skimmed the waistband of Eli’s jeans. Eli’s mind zeroed in on that spot, begging the man to go lower. Instead, Jimmy swept Eli’s T-shirt higher. Eli automatically shifted, allowing Jimmy to undress him. Cool air brushed his back as Jimmy tossed the shirt aside and his disappeared as well. When their bare skin met as Jimmy encircled Eli in his embrace once more, a shiver of longing ran through Eli.

  “Talk to me,” Jimmy begged as he worked the button loose on Eli’s jeans.

  “What do you want to hear?”

  “Anything,” Jimmy said as he sank his teeth into Eli’s shoulder.

  “I’m pretty sure I’ll die if you stop touching me,” Eli admitted only because it was the only thought in his head.

  Jimmy took his hand and tugged. Eli allowed Jimmy to lead him down the hall. They passed a bathroom and a small bedroom before reaching a larger bedroom. A light flared as they walked through the door before going dim, becoming the perfect mood lighting. Eli found himself hoping the lighting was set to how Jimmy slept and not due to
the man bringing home anyone willing to be seduced. The worst part was—when Eli searched his heart—he found he didn’t care. He’d take this one night of human touch over nothing any day. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t important to Jimmy.

  After leading him to the edge of an oddly bright-colored bed, Jimmy urged Eli to sit. As Eli looked on, Jimmy slid his zipper down and pushed his jeans down his hips. The man was so goddamn beautiful he almost hurt Eli’s eyes.

  “You’re blushing,” Jimmy said as he stripped down to nothing.

  Eli could feel the heat in his cheeks, but he wasn’t letting any amount of embarrassment stop him. He licked his rapidly drying lips. “Probably.”

  Jimmy moved to stand between Eli’s knees. Tilting his chin up, Eli met Jimmy’s stare. “I’m looking right at you. You’re definitely blushing. Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything,” Eli said without hesitation.

  “Have you been happy the past three years?”

  He hadn’t expected that one. “Ask me something else.”

  “Are you a virgin?”

  Eli’s blood ran cold even as he trailed his fingertips down the backs of Jimmy’s thighs. “Ask me something else.”

  “That’s what I thought. When is your birthday?”

  It was hard to concentrate with Jimmy pushing him onto his back and exploring Eli’s body with his mouth. Eli’s back arched as Jimmy’s lips closed around his nipple. “Damn. Um. It was the day before yesterday.”

  Jimmy ran his tongue down Eli’s ribs. “So you’re officially twenty-one. How did you celebrate?”

  “When is your birthday?” Eli asked, dodging.

  “Got it. No celebration. It’s October 18th,” Jimmy said as he worked on stealing Eli’s pants.

  Eli lifted his hips when prompted. The instant Eli was completely nude, Jimmy backed away, leaving Eli alone on the bed and feeling exposed. His discomfort fled as Jimmy stroked his erection, as if he couldn’t resist touching himself while staring at Eli. He moved to the bedside table and grabbed a condom and some lube. Eli watched as he suited up and oiled the outside of the condom before tossing the bottle on the bed. Eli couldn’t take the silence.

  “Tell me something else about yourself?” he begged.

  Jimmy set one knee on the mattress. Eli reached for him. In one quick motion, Jimmy snagged hold of Eli and rolled. On his back, Jimmy left Eli no other choice than to straddle his hips. Eli lost his breath in the exchange. Seeing the expression Jimmy wore made it hard for him to make his lungs work properly. He looked intense. Almost frightening.

  “I don’t bottom. Not ever. But don’t worry, you’re in control here. I won’t hurt you.”

  Eli swallowed. There was something dark behind that confession. Eli owed Jimmy the same. “I don’t suck dick. Not ever.”

  “That’s cool,” Jimmy said, tugging Eli closer. “I don’t need that in my life,” Jimmy said before claiming Eli’s mouth in a scorching kiss.

  I don’t need that in my life. Those words. There was so much behind them. That was something someone said when they saw a future together. All of Jimmy’s questions kept running through Eli’s mind. Jimmy was getting to know him, just as he’d said, as if Eli mattered. He didn’t want to hope. If tomorrow came and Jimmy didn’t ever talk to him again, Eli didn’t want to regret this. As their tongues clashed, Eli forgot to care about anything at all.

  Jimmy’s fingertips skimmed Eli’s crack. The man’s erection probed at his ass. He didn’t try forcing his way inside. It was a move Eli appreciated and loathed all in the same breath. His insides quivered in his nervousness. Eli’s hands shook from the want. His hips moved of their own accord, letting Jimmy’s cock slide between his ass cheeks while they kissed. Their tongues gently touched. Everything about the encounter was sweet rather than torrid. Eli didn’t know what he’d been expecting. This wasn’t it. He wasn’t disappointed. Jimmy made him feel like he genuinely cared. That was more than Eli hoped for. Still, he craved more.

  Eli pulled away and set his forehead against Jimmy’s. He tried catching his breath. The sensation of Jimmy’s erection gently kissing his asshole was making oxygen damn hard to come by.

  “Jimmy,” Eli breathed, unsure of what he was begging for. At his plea, the blunt head of Jimmy’s cock pressed harder against the ring of tight muscles surrounding Eli’s asshole. They gave way. It hurt more than Eli expected. A gasp tore from his throat. His muscles tensed.

  “Play with yourself, baby,” Jimmy urged.

  Blood rushed to Eli’s face, but he reached between them and palmed his dick. As the first wave of pleasure ran through him, his muscles relaxed. Jimmy slid an inch deeper. Sweat broke out on Eli’s skin. He could do this. Jimmy held still. Eli stroked his cock. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the sensation.

  “That’s it, sexy,” Jimmy praised and he slid deeper. This time, he pumped against Eli’s ass, hitting something that pulled a moan from Eli’s throat. His dick leaked, smearing pre-cum across Jimmy’s abs. He couldn’t pretend he hadn’t experimented over the years. There’d been toys in his ass before. Nothing could have prepared him for the real thing. The craving for more was soul deep. Jimmy’s expression alone was enough to addict Eli for life. He looked beyond turned on. Knowing he’d been the one to cause Jimmy to look as he did was empowering.

  “You’re killing me, Eli.” At the desperate plea in Jimmy’s voice, Eli pressed lower, taking Jimmy deeper until he’d finally taken all of Jimmy. “Are you okay?”

  Eli nodded.

  “Good,” Jimmy breathed before rolling and tucking Eli underneath him in one quick motion. On his knees, Jimmy worked Eli higher before bending at the waist and sucking Eli’s crown between his lips. He’d never seen anyone that flexible. In fact, Eli had no idea that could be done. His surprise disappeared in a wave of ecstasy. He forgot to be impressed, as Jimmy pumped against him while Eli’s cock brushed the roof of his mouth. He wanted too many damn things to name. All Eli could do was moan as he held on for the ride.

  His fingers dug into the sheets, scratching for purchase. The nerve endings in his dick danced with joy. His skin burned for more. Every muscle in Eli’s body tensed. His teeth clenched as he reached for the orgasm looming on the horizon. Jimmy surged forward and captured Eli’s mouth. He fisted Eli’s cock, pumping to match the rhythm of his dick sawing in and out of Eli’s ass. Pressure climbed his shaft, curling his toes. Semen shot from the tip of his cock, coating his skin. Jimmy cried out against Eli’s mouth. In that moment, Eli was the most powerful man on earth.

  Chapter 5

  The best part of the night was the way Jimmy held him. Possibly, cuddling was something people took for granted. Eli hoped he never did. He assumed someone had held him at some point in his life, but Eli didn’t remember it. Not that it mattered, since those times wouldn’t have been the same as Jimmy holding him. Jimmy’s hair clung to Eli’s sweat soaked skin. His fingertips skimmed Eli’s body. Whispered words of praise brushed Eli’s ears. Being with Jimmy, resting in the man’s arms; it was the most amazing thing to ever happen to Eli.

  Even after Jimmy dozed off, Eli couldn’t sleep, absorbing every sensation. He was too pumped to settle down. He felt bad for staring at Jimmy while he slept. The thought of getting up and doing anything inside someone else’s house made him feel worse. Jimmy tried rolling over in his sleep. Eli lifted, freeing him. As much as he hated giving up Jimmy’s chest as his pillow, he knew the man’s arm had to be numb by now. He’d been holding Eli for hours. Eli rolled too, following him. He wasn’t ready to give up Jimmy’s body heat. The man was like a furnace. Jimmy’s hair had tangled into a mess. It took every ounce of Eli’s willpower not run his fingers through it, working out the knots. He loved Jimmy’s hair.

  Eli chewed his bottom lip, fighting back temptation. His gaze slid down Jimmy’s back. The hint of a dark tattoo peeked over the sheet. He’d noticed it earlier when they’d been walking down the hall, but Eli had been too distracted by his lust to take the in
k in. Incapable of standing another second, Eli curled his finger around the edge of the sheet, and dragged it down to get a better look. It was a reaper. The tattoo was somewhat disturbing. Eli couldn’t pinpoint why it bothered him. He moved the sheet even lower, hoping a closer inspection would wipe away the sick sensation growing in his gut. The reaper covered Jimmy’s right side. Its robes flowed around Jimmy’s hip.

  Tilting his head, Eli tried looking at it from a different angle. The light hit the piece just the right way, revealing a brand underneath the tattoo and above Jimmy’s hip. A cold sweat broke out across Eli’s skin. A branding would hurt, but right there, it would be excruciating. Yet, Jimmy had the brand covered in ink, as if trying to hide it. They would’ve had to gone deep with the ink to get his scarred skin to tattoo. It looked as if the brand was initials. Without thought, Eli’s fingers brushed the letters, attempting to make them out. He thought they were MS, but he couldn’t be sure. Eli’s mind raced. Who was MS?

  *

  A light brush of skin on skin skimmed Jimmy’s back. His mind shifted into panic mode. In his half-awake state, everything turned black. The years slipped away until he was in that terrible place. The place he never spoke of. Jimmy sprang into action. In one smooth motion, he flipped, pinning his attacker to the bed. His fingers encircled the man’s throat.

  Eli stared up him. There was no panic in his eyes. He looked accepting—prepared to die. Reality crept back to him. His finger relaxed. The adrenaline pumping through his veins made Jimmy’s insides shake. Instead of trying to explain, he dipped his head and opened his mouth over the slowly fading fingerprints on Eli’s throat. His heart raced and blood pounded in his ears. He’d almost hurt Eli. Jesus. He needed a drink. Eli would never forgive him, nor should he.