Unstable

by Charity Parkerson

  “Let’s make a memory right now,” Jimmy said, taking Eli by the hand.

  “Okay.”

  At his agreement, Jimmy leapt from the bed. Eli enjoyed the vision he presented. The man wore only his underwear. He looked sexy as hell. Jimmy dug through his pants, coming out with his phone. He played with the device until music filled the tiny apartment. The smile stretching Eli’s lips slipped away when Jimmy set the phone aside and pulled Eli to his feet.

  “Nobody’s watching,” Jimmy said, making Eli wonder if he looked as horrified as he felt. Jimmy hauled Eli close and spun. A chuckle escaped him even as mortification overtook him. He’d never danced before in his life. The beat was fast, adding to his discomfort. Jimmy’s smile had him willing to do anything to keep him that way. Laughter rose in Eli’s throat as Jimmy made a show of shaking his ass. He tried keeping up without much luck. Not that Eli could stop laughing long enough to let the music guide him. The song ended. A slow song came on behind it. Jimmy slid in close. Eli’s eyes fell closed as their skin met. His feet moved without his permission, matching Jimmy’s steps. Jimmy buried his face against Eli’s throat. Chill bumps rose on Eli’s skin as Jimmy sang each loving word. His lips brushed Eli’s skin with every syllable.

  A thought struck Eli. Just as Eli had been willing to travel to hell to get Jimmy, Jimmy was equally willing to create a heaven for Eli to follow. If he’d had a single doubt about moving in with Jimmy, it disappeared at the realization. This man was too damn amazing for words. Even if he ended up back on the streets, it would be worth every damn minute.

  Chapter 8

  For four solid months, Eli drove Jimmy’s truck to and from work. That was, if Jimmy didn’t take him and pick him up. Life still felt surreal. Maybe it was stupid, but Eli was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’d always heard that secrets destroyed relationships. It seemed they had them in droves. Jimmy never spoke of anything remotely related to his past. Most of the time, Eli didn’t want to know—most of the time. A majority of the time, he didn’t think it was important. Other times, he wondered if their pasts would float to the surface and destroy them. Something so ugly could only cause harm. There were moments when Eli would be on the verge of asking. Then he would look at Jimmy, and the words would die on his lips. One glance into Jimmy’s eyes and Eli no longer cared what ate away at the man’s soul. Instead, Eli vowed he’d always be the man’s healing balm. His ghost exterminator. The man’s dreamcatcher.

  Tonight had been Eli’s final night at Hollow Edge. Even now he still wasn’t sure how he’d let Jimmy talk him into quitting. It was as if he couldn’t stop handing Jimmy all the cards, giving the man the power to crush him in every way. The thing was—Eli didn’t believe for a single second Jimmy would ever harm him. They were a team. That was why Eli had let Jimmy convince him to take a position with the bar. Eli would now be in charge of payroll and keeping the books. It was a damn good job for a man who only had a GED. Of course, Eli didn’t lie to himself. He knew if they weren’t together, Eli never would’ve been offered such a position.

  At first, Eli had staunchly refused. When Eli had gone to work the next day, he’d thought the whole thing over. He’d searched his heart. What Eli found shocked him. When it came to Jimmy, Eli trusted the man with everything he had. He knew beyond a doubt that he could put his future in Jimmy’s hands, and no matter what happened between them, Jimmy wouldn’t let anything happen to him. Once that thought settled in, his decision had been an easy one.

  The house came into view. A flutter flared to life in Eli’s gut. Although Eli knew the excitement would eventually fade into something more comfortable, it hadn’t happened yet. He couldn’t wait to see Jimmy. A strange car sat parked out front. Eli searched his mind for any hint of recognition and came up empty. As Eli pulled into the garage, he found himself hoping someone had broken down. Otherwise, there was a stranger inside.

  *

  Jimmy kept one eye glued on the clock. Eli would be home any minute. He had to get Tyler out of there. The alarm chirped on the garage door, letting him know it was too late. Jimmy stared at the door—waiting. Tyler went on and on about counseling and moving forward with a lawsuit Jimmy wanted no part in. All Jimmy heard was “blah-blah” while his brain shifted into panic mode. What would he tell Eli? He’d never mentioned Tyler. In fact, he’d never mentioned a million details about his life.

  The back door opened. Those green eyes—the ones that made Jimmy’s heart race—made an appearance. In spite of his horrible position, Jimmy smiled at the sight of his man coming home to him. He hoped it wasn’t for the last time.

  “Hey, baby. How was work?”

  Tyler turned in his seat.

  Jimmy ignored him.

  Eli’s lips turned up in the corners, as if happy to see him, before his smile melted away as his gaze slid Tyler’s way. “Hello.” Damn. Eli sounded wary.

  Tyler came to his feet.

  Jimmy did too. He stepped around Tyler, incapable of letting the man touch Eli, tainting him with Jimmy’s past. Before Tyler could introduce himself, Jimmy pressed a quick kiss to Eli’s lips.

  “Sorry I didn’t warn you we had company. I wasn’t expecting any.” Jimmy didn’t bother hiding his aggravation over that last point.

  “It’s okay,” Eli said, attempting to peer over Jimmy’s shoulder. “Do I get to meet our company or are we going to stand here awkwardly all day long?”

  Since it couldn’t be avoided, Jimmy tucked Eli beneath his arm, making it obvious he didn’t want Tyler touching Eli. “Eli, this is Tyler. Tyler, this is Eli.” Jimmy purposely didn’t expound on the introduction.

  Obviously reading Jimmy’s body language, Tyler didn’t try to shake Eli’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Eli.”

  Eli nodded. Jimmy felt like shit. He knew Eli hated meeting new people, and he made things worse by not divulging who Tyler was. If Jimmy came home to a strange man in their house, there would be hell to pay and demands made. Eli wasn’t like that. He was too sweet for confrontation.

  Eli cast a glance around the kitchen. “I hope you just got here, since it doesn’t look like Jimmy has offered you anything to drink.”

  Tyler’s smile turned genuine. Dimples and all. “Not too long, no.”

  Eli’s shoulders relaxed. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “Sure. Water is fine.”

  With a nod, Eli moved to the refrigerator. Jimmy warned Tyler with his gaze to watch himself. Tyler turned his back on Jimmy and sat, letting him know this visit could go either way.

  “Damn,” Eli muttered under his breath. “There’s no more bottled water.”

  “From the tap is fine,” Tyler said over his shoulder, letting them know he’d heard. He also sounded a hell of a lot nicer now than he had before Eli’s arrival.

  Jimmy couldn’t look away from Eli’s face. He needed to know his man was okay. Eli curled his nose at Tyler’s words. It was adorable, and went a long way at easing the pressure building in Jimmy’s chest.

  “One tap water coming up.” Eli’s gaze locked on Jimmy. “Do you want anything, baby?”

  To drink his bar. The whole thing. After that, he wanted to take Eli to bed and never leave. “I should be asking you. You’re the one who just got home. As a matter of fact,” Jimmy said, grabbing a glass from the cabinet. “Go change or whatever. I got this.”

  Eli cast a glance Tyler’s way. “Are you sure? Is that rude?”

  Sometimes, Eli made everything clean again with his innocent worries. Jimmy’s throat swelled. Tyler shouldn’t be here, poisoning their home. “It’s not rude. Promise,” Jimmy added when Eli didn’t look convinced.

  With a nod, Eli headed down the hall. Jimmy’s gaze followed Eli’s every move until their bedroom door closed behind him. The moment he was out of sight, Jimmy slammed the glass down in front of Tyler.

  “Here’s your fucking water.”

  Tyler’s smirk might’ve been comical under different circumstances. With Eli righ
t down the hall, and Tyler on the verge of ruining Jimmy’s shot at a normal life, there was nothing funny about any of this.

  “This is an interesting new development in your life.”

  Jimmy refused the bait.

  “How old is he? He looks young.”

  Biting back a growl, Jimmy spoke through clenched teeth. “Twenty-one, you nosey bastard. I’m not like—” Jimmy bit off his words, incapable of finishing.

  Tyler sighed. “Even after all these years, you still can’t even say his name.” Tyler’s face softened. “I know you’re not like him. I was simply making conversation.” Tyler’s gaze flickered over Jimmy’s shoulder a half second before Eli’s hands landed on Jimmy’s shoulders. His muscles relaxed at the contact. Eli’s touch was like a healing balm.

  “I hate to seem rude, but I haven’t eaten at all today.”

  Jimmy snagged one of Eli’s hands and brought it to his mouth. “Don’t worry over it, baby,” he soothed against the man’s skin. “I don’t want you going hungry.”

  Tyler’s smile turned bright once more as he glanced Eli’s way—the smarmy bastard. “Please act as if I’m not here and do whatever you need.”

  With a final squeeze of Jimmy’s fingers, Eli pulled away and headed for the stove. With Eli still in earshot, he didn’t know how to get rid of Tyler. The man couldn’t stay. Every muscle in Jimmy’s body was on the verge of snapping. His mind raced for something to say before Tyler opened his mouth and ruined Jimmy’s life.

  “Did you get what you came for?”

  Pans clanged together. Tyler’s smile took on a sinister edge, as if he knew he had Jimmy on the ropes with Eli there and planned to exploit his power.

  “No.”

  Jimmy’s fear fled. In its place sat a rage he hadn’t experienced in years. “That’s too bad.” Even Jimmy heard the growl in his tone.

  Eli froze, frying pan in hand. He eyed Jimmy. Worry etched his features.

  Jimmy sat forward, focusing his fury on Tyler. “You should go.”

  Tyler didn’t budge. “I never put you out, even though there were many times when you deserved it. Besides,” Tyler added. “I haven’t finished my water.”

  “Don’t try to guilt trip me,” Jimmy said, his voice rising. “This situation isn’t the same.”

  “No. It isn’t,” Tyler said, raising his voice to top Jimmy’s. “You were Satan’s spawn, while I’m sitting here drinking some goddamn water. That’s not the same at all.” With every word Tyler spoke, his voice got louder until he was yelling at the top of his lungs. He pushed the glass aside and came to his feet. Jimmy did the same until they were nose-to-nose across the table. Tyler wasn’t finished. “In fact, while I graciously endured—”

  Jimmy snorted. “Graciously, my ass,” Jimmy interrupted.

  Tyler ignored him, only yelling louder. “While I graciously,” he repeated, “endured all your goddamn bullshit, you can’t even listen to me for five fucking minutes when I have your best interests at heart. You’ve always had issues…”

  “I think you should go.”

  “…real fucking fucked in the head problems, but this is some—”

  A loud crash had their heads snapping around in Eli’s direction. He stood frozen, with his arm still extended from where he smashed out the kitchen window with the frying pan. Jimmy didn’t know how to react. Eli’s eyes—fuck. He was freaking out on the inside. Jimmy could see it happening. It was a silent panic attack, and it was the scariest thing Jimmy had seen in years. Judging by Tyler’s expression, he didn’t know what to do either.

  “Baby,” Jimmy said almost too quiet to hear, hoping to break the spell. Eli blinked. Otherwise, he didn’t move at all. It was like witnessing the calm before the storm. Jimmy’s muscles tensed, expecting anything.

  Eli focused on Tyler. “You were asked to leave.” His voice was soft and deadly. Jimmy feared for Tyler’s life.

  Jimmy took a step in Eli’s direction, half expecting to get reamed by a frying pan. To his surprise, Eli set the pan aside before stepping around them and heading down the hall. Their bedroom door snapped closed behind him.

  “You should’ve told me,” Tyler said with regret tinging his words and pulling Jimmy’s gaze away from the closed door. “I never would’ve yelled had I known.”

  Pain lodged in Jimmy’s throat. He was the one who should’ve known better. He should’ve thrown Tyler in the street long before Eli came home. That didn’t cool his temper. He met the gaze of the man who’d given him a home when he’d been a fucked up and half-wild teenager no one else wanted. Sadness washed over him.

  “I should’ve told you what? This is his home, not yours. You should’ve known only someone broken could care about me, and behaved accordingly. Goddamn, Tyler,” Jimmy said, shaking his head. He didn’t know what to say, so he walked away and went after Eli. Tyler could stay or go. Jimmy no longer cared. Eli needed him.

  He half expected the door to be locked. The knob turned easily beneath his hand. What he found inside their room almost made him wish the door had been locked. Eli was packing his things.

  “Is this some fall version of spring cleaning?”

  Eli didn’t respond.

  “Because I know you’re not leaving me,” he added when Eli didn’t stop.

  “It’s better this way,” Eli said, shoving his clothes in an overnight bag. “Eventually, you’ll get sick of having a crazy person living with you.”

  Jimmy sighed. “Baby, I had a crazy person living with me before you moved in, and you’re not insane.”

  Eli finally looked at him. His eyes were still every bit as wild as they’d been in the kitchen. “I busted out the window. It’s like I couldn’t stop it from happening. It was the window or Tyler’s head.”

  “He likely wouldn’t have noticed,” Jimmy said, trying to hang on to a calm tone. “Tyler’s pretty damn hardheaded.”

  Eli covered his face, gulping for air. “Jesus. I don’t know what’s going on.”

  This was Jimmy’s fault. He’d left Eli in the dark about so many damn things. With a tug, he pulled Eli into his arms. “Come here,” Jimmy said, urging Eli onto the bed before climbing on top of him. He had a dual purpose. Not only did Jimmy need to hold Eli, he couldn’t let the man get away. No way in hell would he let Eli leave him. As he hovered above Eli, elbows braced on either side of the man’s head while trying to decide what to do, his hair fell forward, surrounding them. Cutting them off from the world.

  “If I bust out two windows, would you feel better?”

  Eli stared at him in silence, but some of the fire left his eyes.

  “Is that a no?” Jimmy asked. “What about three? I could get one in every room of the house,” Jimmy said, warming up to the idea. He could stand some anger release.

  “Why aren’t you mad at me?”

  At Eli’s question, a pain hit Jimmy in the chest. “Because you were standing up for me, first off. I’d rather have you in my corner than anyone else on the planet. You’re badass,” Jimmy said, meaning it.

  One corner of Eli’s mouth lifted. Some of the pressure in Jimmy’s chest eased. Unexpectedly, Jimmy’s eyes stung. “I guess you know by now, my life hasn’t been good.”

  Eli held his gaze, but he didn’t answer.

  “If I tell you about Tyler, could you live without knowing the rest?”

  “You don’t even have to tell me about Tyler, if you don’t want,” Eli said without missing a beat.

  “Yes, I do,” Jimmy argued. Eli had no clue how bare minimum the story of Tyler would be. “For many years, he was a police detective for the Orange County Police department. Of course, when I met him, he had just gotten hired as a beat cop. I was fourteen and no one else would take me. In hindsight, I realize he wasn’t much older than me.” Jimmy snorted. “He was such a hardass, he seemed older. That’s why he yells,” Jimmy explained. “Even though I’m grown, and we’re nearly the same age, he still sees me as that fourteen-year-old kid he took in.” Jimmy swallowed,
hoping Eli would accept his half-ass explanation. “Seeing him reminds me of things I want to forget. He wants me to do something that will dredge up my past, and I can’t go down that path again.”

  The understanding in Eli’s gaze made Jimmy’s throat burn. “Eli,” Jimmy whispered. “You can’t leave me. Nobody else understands and keeps me sane. I can’t lose you without losing me too.”

  “I love moments like these.”

  Eli’s statement seemed at such odds with the day, he had to know. “Moments like what?”

  Eli ran his fingers through Jimmy’s hair, keeping it fanned out around them. “When your hair falls around us, creating our own little haven. It’s like we’re alone in the world and nothing can touch us.”

  Jimmy’s lungs ceased working. All the times he’d felt the same, he hadn’t been alone. “I love you.”

  At Jimmy’s claim, Eli stopped playing with his hair and focused on Jimmy. “What?”

  Jimmy didn’t look away. Not only had he never uttered those words to anyone, he’d never heard them from anyone who didn’t have a sick purpose for saying them. “I love you,” Jimmy repeated, because it was true, and Eli deserved to hear it. “You’re my conscience and my sanity. My home. You can’t leave me, okay?”

  “Okay,” Eli said sounding sweet. “Jimmy.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I love you too.”

  It was every bit as amazing as he always feared it would be. Hearing those words on Eli’s lips, knowing he meant them, it was an instant addiction. The high was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. He wanted to hear them again and again.

  “I love you,” Jimmy said, needing the words right now.

  “I love you too.”

  Jimmy’s eyes fell closed. It was the closest to crying he’d been since he was a child. Warm lips touched his. Everything Eli did, he did in the sweetest way possible. He was clean.

  Their lips clung.

  “Make love to me,” Eli pled. “Take away this sickness sitting in my gut.”