by Joss Wood
Sadie’s mouth twitched. How bizarre. “You are making that up.”
“Trust me, I’m not. Kookiness and cash are a volatile combination.” Carrick sat on the edge of her desk and rubbed the back of his neck. “Our payroll system crashed so I’ve spent the afternoon yelling at the IT department to sort it out. And my PA is out sick and I’m spoiled. I don’t like getting my own coffee.”
Sadie knew that Marsha was his right-hand person and getting coffee was the least important thing she did for him. She organized his life and kept track of the million balls he had in the air. “Is she very ill? When will she be back at work?”
“God knows,” Carrick replied, “since she has bronchitis and can’t speak. She’s been working from home and she’s not very happy with me.”
Sadie frowned. “Because you keep sending her work?”
Carrick shook his head. “No, because I had IT lock her out of the server so she can’t work. It’s the only way to make sure she gets some rest. Marsha is twice the workaholic I am.”
Oh. That was sweet. And thoughtful. And very un-Dennis-like.
Sadie saw Ronan pass her open door, watched him brake and backtrack. He flashed her a smile—holy smokes, these Murphy men were all birthed by angels—and did that leaning into the door frame thing tall men did so well.
“I was just coming to find you,” Ronan told Carrick.
“Problem?” Carrick asked, rubbing his temples with his index fingers.
“Always,” Ronan said, almost cheerfully. Carrick cursed and Sadie saw the concerned look Ronan threw his way. The brothers were tight and seeing their bond made her feel emotional and a little lost.
It made her miss her family.
“Can you handle it?” Carrick asked him. “If there’s something I can help with let me know. Preferably tomorrow.”
“Will do.” Ronan nodded. “I’m going for a drink at the Pig and Plough. Would you two like to join me?”
“Who has the kids?” Carrick asked.
“Finn said he needed some uncomplicated company and offered to spend the afternoon with them. They talked him into taking them to that massive pet store across town.”
These brothers had each other’s backs and Sadie couldn’t help but feel envious. The same could not be said of her siblings...
Then Ronan grinned and he looked ten years younger, free and happy. “He sent me a video of the boys in puppy heaven.”
Ronan pulled out his phone, swiped his thumb across it and handed it to Carrick. Carrick angled the phone so that she could see the large screen, and she smiled at the video clip of the two little boys sitting in a pen full of Siberian Husky puppies. They were laughing uncontrollably as puppies ate their hair, licked their faces and gnawed on their trainers.
Carrick laughed and looked at his brother. “Newsflash, they are going to nag you incessantly about getting a dog until you give in.”
Sadie stirred the pot. “They won’t settle for one. They’ll each want their own.”
“If they make my kids happy, I’ll buy them a dozen.” He looked at Carrick. “Where did you get Jazz from? Damn, that was a great dog.”
Jazz? Sadie frowned. She’d heard that name before. Oh, right, it was the name of the dog that had been such a bone of contention during his and Tamlyn’s divorce. Carrick had resolved the argument over custody by having the dog put down.
Sadie didn’t understand how he could kill a dog to resolve an argument.
“Actually, I found him at a no-kill shelter,” Carrick replied.
Ronan frowned, confused. “But he had papers. He was highly pedigreed. Tamlyn told us he had a family tree longer than ours.”
Carrick’s mouth twisted. “Jazz was a mutt. A lovely mutt, but still a mutt.” Sadie noticed that Carrick didn’t try to explain or excuse Tamlyn’s lies; he just stated his truth, calmly and precisely.
She needed to know. She had to know. “Can I ask you a question?”
Carrick looked at her and slowly nodded.
“Why did you euthanize Jazz?”
For a long moment Sadie thought he wasn’t going to answer but his answer, when it finally came, was short and to the point. “Jazz had cancer of the bowel. Tamlyn, to give her credit, loved that dog, but she wouldn’t face the fact that he was suffering and in pain. I did the kindest thing.”
“But she—”
Behind Carrick’s head, she saw Ronan’s quick shake of his head, his fierce frown. She stopped talking. It didn’t matter what Tamlyn had said. Sadie now had Carrick’s version of that event and it was diametrically opposite to what she’d believed.
Carrick’s eyes, when they met hers, were as hard as stone and twice as icy. “Care to tell me how you heard that story about my dog? Because that was one of the few things that didn’t make the social columns.”
* * *
Carrick really didn’t care what the world thought about his marriage, how the members of A-list Boston society viewed him. The people he cared about knew him for who he was. They were aware of how he’d conducted himself during his marriage. His siblings and his close friends knew he could be impatient and demanding, but they also knew he was never abusive or cruel.
Yes, his marriage had bombed. But the stories that were out there were not based on anything remotely resembling the truth. And Sadie, judging by the fact that she’d heard about Jazz, knew more than most.
And, if he wasn’t mistaking the confusion in her eyes, she’d believed what she heard.
Carrick felt sick to his stomach. He could see it in her eyes, in her white fingers clutching her biceps. The mother of his unborn child had doubts about his character, was uncertain about how he would treat her going forward.
For the first time his urge to explain was almost stronger than his pride.
Almost, but not quite.
Carrick waited for Ronan to leave before starting with the easiest of the dozen questions he had. “How did you hear about Jazz?”
Sadie pushed her top teeth into her bottom lip. When he didn’t speak again, she sighed and his anger climbed. Tamlyn had been out of his life for five years but she was still causing havoc.
“Beth, your ex-wife’s—”
“I know who Beth is,” Carrick interrupted her.
“Well, Beth is a virtual assistant and I am one of her clients, her main client. She’s also an old friend.”
Carrick closed his eyes, feeling sick. Behind Tamlyn, Beth was the biggest spreader of Tamlyn vs Carrick rumors and instantly believed anything vicious her older sister said. If Sadie and Beth were friends, God knows what lies she would’ve told Sadie.
“I’m also friends with Tamlyn.”
Oh, yeah, this was just getting more fabulous by the minute. “Well, then, you got it straight from the horse’s mouth.”
Never mind that the horse was spouting BS.
“Care to tell me why you never informed me about your connection to my ex-wife?”
Sadie held his hard stare. “I didn’t think it was germane to the situation.”
The hell it wasn’t. Sadie pushed her hair off her shoulders and straightened her spine. “I only heard one side of the story, Carrick. I haven’t heard yours.”
“And you are never going to.”
Sadie’s eyebrows pulled together and her mouth thinned. “Well, then I—People are going to keep believing her side of the story.”
“People can think what they want. I have no control over that.”
“Of course you do. You can push back. You can refute her allegations. You can tell your side of the story.”
“My side of the story? How old are we, ten?” Carrick scoffed. “My marriage is over. I never talk about it and I don’t owe anyone a damn explanation.”
Hurt and annoyance flashed in her eyes. “Not even me?”
Especially not her. He wan
ted—no, he needed—her to believe him, without proof, without thought. He needed her to know him, to make up her own mind, to discard what she’d heard and trust him, dammit.
They were going to be in each other’s lives for a long time and as the mother of his child, she was going to be one of the most important people in his life. He needed her to see him without the filter of other people’s perceptions.
And if she couldn’t, then this road was going to be long, ugly and as bumpy as hell.
“Make up your own mind about me, Sadie,” Carrick told her, exhausted and not a little defeated.
“There are reasons that it’s easy for me to believe her, Carrick,” Sadie quietly stated.
He didn’t care. Her reasons didn’t matter...
He needed her faith.
He needed her to decide, to know, on a fundamental level, he wasn’t the man Tamlyn or Beth made him out to be.
He would never settle for anything less. And he’d never, ever explain.
When the rumors started circling, his family and close friends instinctively closed ranks, their trust in him unshakeable. He’d been grateful and touched and their reaction was now the standard he set for all his relationships.
Carrick rubbed his forehead, his headache pushing against his skull. He hadn’t had a migraine since leaving Tamlyn and it made sense that talking about his ex would bring one on.
As always, taking a hammer to his head sounded like an appropriate solution.
* * *
When Carrick’s house was full of people, it felt like a home, not a conglomeration of rooms, most of which he didn’t use. With voices and laughter reigning through the historic Beacon Hill house, Carrick felt like his dad had just stepped out of the room and that his stepmom, Raeni, was in the kitchen, whipping up one of her lethal cocktails.
His nephews were playing with a box of his old LEGO pieces on the Oriental carpet on the far side of the room, and conversation rose and fell. It felt like old times. Carrick watched his nephews for a minute, his heart spluttering at the thought that in a few years, it would be his kid on the carpet playing with cars or blocks or dolls. And he couldn’t wait.
Carrick looked across the room to where Sadie was talking to Levi’s sisters, Jules and Darby, his eyes dropping to her still-flat stomach. He hadn’t seen her since their conversation about his past two days ago. He’d been out of town.
When he heard that Tanna was back in Boston with Levi, he’d made arrangements for this impromptu get-together from New York via Marsha, and he’d called Sadie and suggested she join them. He’d missed her, dammit.
Before responding to his invitation, Sadie, as forthright as ever, immediately addressed their argument.
“Are you still mad because I didn’t tell you about Beth and Tamlyn?”
He wasn’t crazy about the connection, but there was damn all he could do about it. “No.”
“Have you changed your mind about talking to me about her?” Sadie asked.
Talk about Tamlyn? The world had to end first.
“No.”
She’d dropped a quiet “okay,” but hadn’t made a commitment to attending tonight so he’d been surprised, and ridiculously happy, to see her walk into his house earlier that evening. Then she’d removed her coat to reveal her super-short, A-line black cocktail dress, embellished with pearls and the black lace sleeves ending three quarters down her slim arms.
Then he’d fought the urge to carry her up to his bedroom.
It was official: he couldn’t resist her...dammit.
Carrick pulled himself back to the present and looked around the room. Finn stood in the corner, talking to Mason and Ronan, who wasn’t paying any attention to their conversation. Carrick followed his gaze and saw that he was looking at Joa Jones. Then Ronan’s eyes dropped to his kids, and Joa’s eyes left Sam and Aron to look at Ro.
Well, well, well... Wasn’t that interesting?
Carrick felt movement next to him and looked down at his sister. He pulled her to his side. “You and Levi look so happy, Tanna. I’m so glad you are back in Boston, that you are joining us at Murphy’s and that I’m going to get to boss you around daily.”
Tanna stuck her tongue out at him. “You can try.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist, the way she used to when she was a little girl. Carrick felt his throat close and he rested his head against hers. He’d raised her with the help of his brothers from the time she was ten and she’d been his to protect. Now she had Levi and he could stop worrying about her.
But a part of him always would. She was his kid, dammit, as well as his sister. And now he got to raise a child from the beginning. He was going to love and protect and raise a baby of his own.
How utterly cool and exciting and nerve-racking was that?
Carrick kissed her hair, released her and stepped back. “Enjoy your welcome home party, Tan.”
Tanna handed him a wobbly, emotional smile, but before she could respond, Levi simultaneously slapped a hand on Carrick’s shoulder and snagged Tanna’s waist, hauling her to his side. Levi dropped a hard, openmouthed kiss on his sister’s mouth and Carrick made a show of staring at the high, molded hundred-year-old ceiling.
“You can look now, Carrick,” Tanna said, laughing.
Carrick met his amused friend’s eyes. “He’s going to be a pain in the ass about this, isn’t he, honey?” Levi said.
“Indubitably,” Tanna replied.
Levi placed a kiss on Tanna’s temple. “Can I have a word with your brother, Tan?”
Tanna nodded and drifted away. When she was out of earshot, Carrick raised his eyebrows at his friend, enjoying the heat in Levi’s cheeks. Levi was the most composed, centered guy he knew and it was fun to watch him rock on his heels, his shoulders hunching as he jammed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.
“Um, I’d normally ask your dad this, but—you know.”
Carrick pretended he had no idea what was coming next. “What are you talking about? And, hey, did you catch the game last night?”
“No, I, Carrick, listen...uh...”
“It was crap. The ref was biased.”
“Dammit, Carrick, I’m trying to say something here!” Levi snapped, visibly annoyed.
“Something that’s more important than the game?” Carrick teased him, but took a step back, just in case Levi lost it and punched him.
“Can I marry your sister or not?” Levi demanded, impatient.
Oh, this was far too good an opportunity to pass up. Carrick grinned, saw the relief in Levi’s eyes. “Not.”
Levi’s mouth fell open, caught totally off guard. His eyes bugged out and his pupils turned a startling shade of red. “Okay, thanks for nothing. Just so you know, nothing but death will stop us from getting married this time around.”
Carrick lifted his hands and rapidly backtracked. “Whoa, calm down. I was only joking.” Carrick risked putting his hand on Levi’s shoulder and giving it a tight squeeze. “You know that I approve. I approved when she was nineteen, I totally approve now. Not that you need my approval.”
Levi’s tension levels dropped and Carrick thought he was on firmer ground. “Good to know.” Levi nailed him with a hard stare. “And that was a lousy stunt to pull.”
“It was fun until you got this rabid look in your eyes,” Carrick said.
He held out his hand and when Levi’s hand met his, he pulled his friend into a one-armed hug. “Congratulations, man. I’m genuinely happy for you.”
“Thanks,” Levi said, now sporting a wide grin.
Nope, he wasn’t done with his about-to-be brother-in-law just yet. “So, one down, two to go.”
Levi pulled his eyes off Tanna to frown at Carrick. “What do you mean?”
“I’m giving you my blessing but you need Ronan’s and Finn’s, too,” Carrick told him,
thinking that yanking Levi’s chain was the best fun he’d had in ages. “They helped raise Tanna. I think it’s only fair you ask them, too.”
“You do realize that I don’t actually need their permission?” Levi grumbled, sending Ronan an anxious look.
Carrick swallowed his smile. “I do, but Ronan and Finn take their responsibility to our sister very seriously.”
Levi released a curse and stomped across the room to where Ronan was standing. Carrick saw him jerk his head to Finn, a silent request that he join them. Carrick finally allowed his laughter to escape.
Sadie touched his elbow and raised her eyebrows at him. “What are you up to, Carrick Murphy?”
Carrick’s eyes traced her delicate features and he saw the curiosity in her bright blue eyes.
It was strange that she immediately picked up that he was messing with Levi; many wouldn’t. Very few people had, over the years, managed to read him and he mentally squirmed. It unnerved him that she could.
Since Sadie still seemed to be waiting for an answer, he lifted one shoulder. “Levi asked for permission to marry Tanna. I felt it my duty to give him a hard time.”
Sadie rolled her eyes. “Men. Honestly.”
“He’ll probably announce their engagement tonight.”
Sadie shifted from one foot to the other. “That’s wonderful. But I can’t help thinking that I shouldn’t be here, that I’m crashing this party.”
Carrick lowered his voice. “The moment you conceived my child you became part of this family. They might not know it yet, but I do. You have every right to be here.”
Sadie looked like she had her doubts, but instead of arguing, she looked across the room to where Levi stood with Tanna’s brothers. Carrick followed her gaze and noticed how Levi’s gaze wandered over to Tanna and when her eyes met his, the sexual energy arcing between them threatened to blister the paint on the walls.
“Holy smokes, hand me a fan,” Sadie muttered.
Carrick groaned.
“There are some things an older brother does not need to see,” Carrick muttered, turning his back on his sister and Levi. “She was ten, like, yesterday.”