by J. L. Leslie
He rolls his eyes like a damn juvenile and points to one of the markings on the paper, not addressing my question or his lack of response to my text.
“She’s fine. Stabbed the fucker in the balls. Do you even know what this is?” he asks, but continues before I answer. “It shows us where they have their guards posted and where they’re keeping their stock on the farm.”
“No shit. I learned how to read in the first fucking grade.”
“Smart ass,” he chides. “Did the woman ask again about whatever the fuck it is they think Katy has?”
“Not this time. Katy said she didn’t know what she was talking about anyway.”
“And you believe that?”
“I don’t know what the hell I believe, Dax.”
And I don’t. I believed the woman I was fucking for two years actually had feelings for me. That she had no clue I was using her to get to her father. That I had fallen for her along the way and she felt the same thing for me.
Shit, I believed I had a chance with the woman I took out of protective custody, but I haven’t spoken to her in days. I know what I do believe, and it’s that I have shit luck with women.
“Sit tight. We’ll get to the bottom of this shit right fucking now.”
I wait patiently while Dax leaves, and when he returns, it’s with a sleepy-eyed Katy and shirtless Kane. Katy’s brown hair is mussed, and her lips are swollen. The shirt she wears very clearly belongs to Kane.
Kane sits down in the chair beside me and pulls her down into his lap. It’s then that she seems to realize I’m in the room. Her cheeks turn pink with embarrassment.
I face Dax, unable to even look at her. I don’t get it. Not at all. When I brought her to Verdana, she was so relieved. So happy to start her life all over again and she swore she would never be part of this lifestyle again. She was shocked to find out Sully was involved in it and even told me she would get her out of it. Instead, she’s here and right back where she started seven years ago.
“Katy, I know I asked you this before, but I’ll ask you again. What do you have that the Sinners want?” Dax questions, and I see a flicker of something in her eyes.
“I don’t know what it is that they want.”
She’s lying. I know she’s lying. I can feel it in my bones. I never recognized Raiden’s lies, but I can see Katy’s lie right now. She knows what it is they want, and she has it. Whatever it is.
Maybe Dax knows this, or at the least, he suspects it. He wouldn’t be questioning her again if he didn’t.
Katy sits quietly while Dax briefly discusses the need to make a plan to access the farm. He doesn’t say much in front of Katy or me, which is fine by me. Right now, I just want to get the hell out of here.
“I’m getting word from my guys soon,” I let Dax know. “They’ve had difficulty making contact.”
I stand from the chair and see myself out. Katy waits until I’m at my car before stopping me. It almost feels like déjà vu, and I tell her this.
“I don’t want you to be upset,” she says. “You did so much for me, and I cherish that. I care about you, I truly do.”
“Is this one of those ‘the heart wants what it wants’ speeches?” I sound bitter, I know that, but I can’t help myself. I am fucking bitter.
“Griffin, please. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. You’re too important to me.”
“Tell me the truth then, what do you have?”
She looks stunned, blinking rapidly a few times and taking a step back. “I don’t know what they–”
“Bullshit!” I hiss. “I know you, Katy. At least, I thought I did. Don’t forget all those hours we talked. All those times you told me everything that happened to you when you were with them. I may not know when you’re lying, but I know when you’re telling the damn truth and that in there, that wasn’t it!”
“I can’t tell you, Griffin, and you can’t tell anyone. Promise me!”
“The hell with that, Katy! You’re playing a dangerous game! I won’t let you put your life in danger!”
“I won’t, I promise I won’t, but if I don’t do this my way, everyone else’s life will be in danger, including yours! They already came to see you, right?”
“Fuck! I don’t like this!”
“I need you to trust me and promise me you won’t say a word,” she pleads.
She may have chosen Kane, but I still feel the need to protect her. To take care of the woman I brought here. Reluctantly, I promise her. Damn it, I hope I’m not sealing her fate.
Chapter Twenty-Four
~Kane~
My morning wood presses against the mattress to the point that it’s becoming unbearable. I roll over to my side, and the coolness of the sheets causes me to open my eyes. I expected warmth. Fuck, I expected a warm body beside me. I scold myself for even expecting that.
I crawl out of my bed and pull on my boxer briefs. I rub my hand over my head, making a note to give it a shave today as I head out of my room. I’m assaulted with a sweet scent coming from the small kitchenette area behind the bar.
Katy stands at the stove, still wearing my t-shirt, flipping fucking pancakes. I don’t know where she found a skillet. Shit, I don’t know where she found pancake mix. I approach her, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind and kissing her cheek.
“I swear, I don’t think this stove has been used in over a decade,” I grin, dipping my finger into the pancake batter and tasting it. “That’s fucking delicious.”
“Back the hell off,” Katy scolds.
“We need peanut butter,” I announce, and Katy gives me a quizzical look. “It’s a Ravens thing. Pancakes require peanut butter and syrup, lots of both. Do not knock it until you try it. Eli…”
I catch myself, realizing what I was about to say. My son loves them. The more peanut butter, the better. Keeping Eli separate from the Ravens has come naturally to me. He may have been delivered to our doorstep, but he’s not part of this life. He’s part of my life. I know they’re supposed to be one in the same, but I will shield him from this life as long as I can.
“The diner is almost done. I bet Dax would give you a job there.”
Katy shrugs. “Mr. Greene gave me a week off after everything. Everyone was pretty shaken up. They’re trying to figure out how the power was killed and why the backup generators didn’t come on like they were supposed to.”
I consider asking her to come with me to Brandy’s today. Figure today would be as good a day as any to tell her about Eli, but then she tells me she has plans.
“It’ll give me time to finish getting my apartment unpacked. Sully’s supposed to help me today. I can’t keep staying here at the clubhouse.”
I lean against the counter beside the stove, and tease, “You don’t like my room?”
“I can only take so much of the clubhouse,” she laughs. “Here, these are ready.”
She hands me a plate with a stack of pancakes on them and places the bottle of syrup on the counter. I grab a fork from the drawer and open the cabinet. It only takes a few minutes for me to find the peanut butter. I figured Dax would keep the cabinet stocked with it.
I slather the pancakes and offer Katy a bite first. She’s skeptical, but I hear her moan as she chews. She licks her lips and then grabs the peanut butter for her stacks.
“Told you.”
“It’s so good,” she agrees, laughing when syrup drips down her chin.
I shake my head, and she uses her finger to rub the stickiness onto my cheek. I grab her hand and suck her finger into my mouth.
“Get a room,” Luka jokes, coming around the bar and looking around for extra pancakes. “What the hell, Katy?”
“Next time,” she promises with a smile.
“I’ll hold you to it. I’m heading home. Raiden’s getting off work in an hour. Fucking graveyard shift.”
I finish off my pancakes and take the plate to the sink. “They’re way too domesticated.”
Katy comes to the sink, and g
lances down to where I’m rinsing my plate. “Yep. They are way too domesticated.”
~Katy~
Kane looks down at the sink, and I see his lips purse before breaking out into a grin. Damn, I can’t put a finger on it, but this man is sexy. Even the tattoos on his head have me wanting to trace my fingers over his skin. He’s comfortable in his flesh, standing here washing dishes in a pair of underwear. He’s inked all over, barely a patch of skin unmarked. I’m admiring his tattoos when water sprays me in the chest.
I gasp, the shock of the cold completely unexpected. “What the hell?”
He showers me with the sprayer again. “Too domesticated, huh?”
The water soaks through the t-shirt I’m wearing, giving him a clear view of my hardened nipples through the thin material. I shriek as he drops the sprayer and advances towards me. I only make it to the bar before he grabs the waistband of the shorts I’m wearing and shoves them to the floor.
“Kane, we can’t,” I breathe out, already panting.
I search around the room and it’s empty for now, but anyone could come in. I should stop him, but every touch, every kiss, lights my body aflame. He knows he has this effect on me. Truth is, he knew it that night at Diesel’s.
I tried to fight it. For a bit, I even convinced myself that Griffin was who I wanted. His touch and kiss were easy to get lost in, but they didn’t pull the same reaction from me as this. No, this is different.
Kane drives inside me, fucking me with no inhibitions. No care in the world that someone could catch us. I don’t care either. I wrap my legs around his waist and grip the bar, praying the barstool I’m sitting on can make it through this. Hell, I pray that I can, in more ways than one.
“Hold on to me, baby,” he whispers once we’ve finished, and I encircle my arms around his neck.
We are barely out of the kitchen when I hear the clubhouse door open. I giggle against his ear, and he lets out a laugh, quickly carrying me into his bathroom. Our bodies are still joined as he steps into his shower, pulling the curtain closed behind us. He slips out of me as he lowers me to the floor and turns the shower on.
“We should probably talk about that,” I mention, pointing down at his softening dick while the evidence of what just transpired washes down my thigh.
Guilt flashes over his handsome face and he rubs his hand over his head. “I fucked up. Twice now.”
“I can’t have kids, I told you that,” I remind him, placing my hands on his chest.
Kane leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’m sorry.”
“I just don’t want to do what we’re doing, you know, like we’re doing it after you’ve been doing that with one of the regulars. The, um, club whores I mean. You’ll have to wrap it up if that’s the case.”
I don’t want it to sound like I’m giving him an ultimatum, me or them, because I’m not. I was with Mack long enough to know that these bikers don’t give a shit about ultimatums or commitments. He’s a patched member. He has a right to be serviced by the club whores whether he has an old lady or not. It’s his choice, not mine. Unfortunately.
“Got it.”
With that short answer, Kane steps around me and grabs the soap off the ledge. He proceeds to lather it up in his hands, then coasts them over his body before repeating the movements over mine. It’s amazing how he can have his hands on my body, but still be distant.
I allow him to wash me, staying silent the entire time, although my heart hurts. I knew I was lying to myself about the impact not hurting. It hurts like a bitch.
Chapter Twenty-Five
~Kane~
I think only of Katy’s words and how nonchalantly she said them the entire ride to Garnerville. She behaved as though she doesn’t give a shit if I go off and fuck some club whore as long as I wrap it up. Her fucking words. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
I pull into Brandy and Trevor’s driveway, planning on asking for advice, when I realize another car is parked here. Trevorworks seven days a week and his family lives in Oregon, so I doubt the in-laws are dropping in.
Brandy knows I come here every single day. She doesn’t bring her friends over when I’m coming here. My connection to her is not known. That’s my doing.
I open the door to my sister’s house and hear voices coming from the living room. Talking. Laughter. That laugh.
“Kane, you didn’t tell me Katy was coming today!” Brandy exclaims, happiness shining in her eyes.
My son sits on the floor playing with building blocks, knocking them over as she stacks them up. She cleans up well, but the club whore in her still shines through. I can see right through this façade she’s putting on.
Ashley smiles up at me. “Sorry I got here before you. I told Brandy you were running a little behind. Kitchen duties.”
She hides her snarkiness well, but I know by her comment, that she saw me and Katy. Without speaking a word, I walk over and lift Eli in my arms, never taking my eyes off of her. He takes my baseball cap off and playfully puts it on his own head.
“He’s adorable, Kane. Looks just like you,” Ashley says, rising to her feet.
“That’s what I think too,” Brandy agrees, picking up a few stray toys and tossing them into the basket in the corner.
I furrow my brows at Ashley and her lip curls into a sneer. I open my mouth to put an end to her charade when she places her hand on my arm.
“I told Ford we really ought to have some sort of family day at the clubhouse. There’s really more members besides you that have kids, and I’m sure it’ll be no time before Raiden starts popping out kids with Luka. The club can’t be all about business. We’re all family there.”
Ford. Her remark is meant to shut me up, and it works. I know she’s fucking around with the Sinners. That she’s told them about my family. My son.
“I don’t know,” Brandy speaks up. “A biker clubhouse may not be the right place for kids. Eli is so young.”
“Three, right?” Ashley questions, tickling Eli’s mid-section.
I step back so that he’s just out of reach. I’ll play this game with her, follow her rules, but I won’t fucking have her touching my son.
“Why don’t we go into the backyard and let Eli play? You two can tell me more about how you met,” Brandy suggests, and I know she’s catching on that something isn’t right.
The four of us spend the next hour outside in Brandy’s fenced in backyard. Eli plays in his playhouse, and I pass most of the time with him, not worrying about what lies Ashley is feeding to Brandy. My sister is smart enough not to fall for them, and once we leave, I’ll let her know it was all bullshit.
“Lunchtime!” Brandy exclaims, and I’m grateful the time has gone by quickly. Normally I would stay, but Ashley has ruined that for me.
“We should head back. I have some club things to do, and Eli goes down for a nap right after lunch,” I tell Ashley, refusing to give her a reason to be in the home with Brandy without me.
She hugs my sister, actually hugs her, before heading to the door. This bitch is off her fucking rocker. As I hug Eli and then lean in to hug Brandy, I whisper to her that I’ll explain everything later. Her slight head nod lets me know she heard me.
“He’s adorable, Kane,” Ashley says once we’re outside.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
I fight the urge to wrap my hands around her throat. I have never been violent with a woman before. I’ve killed women, but not often, and when I’ve had to do so, I made their deaths quick and as painless as possible. With Ashley, right now, I want to give her a slow painful death. I want to bleed her dry and watch the life leave her eyes.
“How come you don’t talk to her while you’re fucking?” she asks me, crossing her arms over her chest. “She doesn’t like your dirty talk? You worried it’ll turn her off? Suck my fucking cock, Katy, and take my dick you fucking whore! She doesn’t like that?”
I grit my teeth, clenching my jaw to the point of pain, b
ut I don’t answer her. Truth is, I don’t know why I don’t speak during sex with Katy. My brain just doesn’t form the words. I’m surrounded by her and only her. Words would only get in the way of that.
“Why did you come here, Ashley?” I ask, much calmer this time.
She shrugs. “Just wanted to see my son.”
“Your son?” I question her. “I don’t fucking think so.”
“Oh, Kane,” she replies, approaching me. “How many times have we fucked? You know you love going bare, and there was a time you couldn’t get enough of me. Now, you’re all fucking googly-eyed over that bitch! I didn’t know what to do when I had him! My mom had kicked me out! You were in fucking prison!”
“You are not his mother!”
“He’s my son, Kane!” she laughs. “And I’m ready to play mommy.”
She skirts away from me as I lunge for her. I will fucking kill her right here and now if it means keeping my son safe. This is a battle she won’t win.
“I suggest you play nice with me, Kane, real fucking nice. Although, sometimes playing nice doesn’t matter. Just ask Lloyd.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
~Katy~
The distance Kane put between us before he left the clubhouse still has me questioning what the hell is happening between us as I take the stairs up to my new apartment. I knew he would be happy to get the green light to continue doing what he’s always done. That I won’t be interfering with that. I didn’t expect him to push me away though.
I fish around in my purse for my keys when I reach my floor and decide to push thoughts of Kane from my mind. Sully is already on her way, and I’m glad we get to spend the day together.
I’ve been devising a plan to meet with Ford. To tell him I have what he’s looking for, only I’m not willing to hand it over. I just don’t have the guts to do it yet. I know if I wait too long, more blood will be shed. I don’t want that on my hands.
I unlock my door and push it open. The scent that assaults my nose has me gagging, nearly vomiting. It doesn’t take me long to realize it’s Lloyd. His beaten and battered body is on my floor. His clothes are soiled with his own blood, urine, and feces.