by EMILIE ROSE
“You wouldn’t be so tight for money if you joined a larger city practice and put your training to better use.”
“We’ve been through that. Quincey needs me.”
He wasn’t going to change her mind about that tonight. “If you are pregnant you could move back here.”
“No!”
“I’ll help financially wherever you end up.”
“If I am, it’s not your problem.”
“I’m equally responsible.” He paused. “Would you have it?”
She closed her eyes tightly. Seconds ticked past. Her hands shifted toward her navel, then she yanked them back to her sides. Her lids lifted. “I don’t know.”
“If it turns out that you’re pregnant, I want to know and I want to be part of the decision making.”
“I—I’ll let you know.”
What would he do if she was and decided to keep the baby? They lived too far apart for him to be a decent father. Would he have to leave the hospital he’d worked so hard to improve in order to spend time with their child? To do that he’d have to leave his parents.
When he’d first started at Mercy he’d considered it a temporary stop, a rung on the ladder to a larger, more prestigious hospital. He’d planned to get his mother past her emotional meltdown, then move on. But he’d become invested in the hospital’s people, in Mercy’s growth and continued improvement. Instead of limitations, he now saw potential, and he no longer wanted to move up and out.
He wiped a hand across his face. A child with his brother’s wife. How could he have been so careless? He’d never been a slave to his desires before. Why now? Why Madison? What about her turned him irresponsible?
How would his mother handle Madison having his child? He shook his head. For once he wanted to borrow Madison’s philosophy and not anticipate trouble. If it happened, he’d deal with his mother.
The microwave beeped, making them both jump. She fetched the bowl and a spoon and put both on the bar in front of him. “Did the nurses strike?”
He let her change the subject. He’d said his piece and he was too drained to press the point. “No.”
Residual anger from the past week’s events made his jaw so rigid it was hard to eat. He shoved a bite into his mouth anyway.
“And...? That’s all you’re going to give me?”
He chewed, gulped, washed down the food with the glass of iced tea she’d provided. If she insisted on talking, then the nursing issue was a safer topic than the awareness of her he couldn’t shake.
“We’re an excellent hospital. Voted one of the best in the state for the past two years. But one malicious person with a chip on her shoulder created an atmosphere of discontent that contaminated others around her. It took time to make the rest of the staff see past her poison. But we did it and averted the strike.”
The positive outcome was the only reason he wasn’t pounding out his frustration with the weights in his gym now the way he had every other night for the past few weeks.
“Did you, personally, stop the strike?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I hear pride in your tone.”
Perceptive, wasn’t she? He lowered his spoon. “I was part of a team.”
Her head tilted as she assessed him and her dark hair glided across her shoulder, making him recall the feel of the silky strands slipping across his skin.
“Andrew never would’ve shared the credit.”
Another unpalatable truth. “No. He wouldn’t have.”
He shoveled in another mouthful and chewed while reviewing the facts as he knew them. “You seemed happy with Andrew. Did I misread the situation on my visits home?”
“I was happy.”
The slight emphasis on was combined with the flatness of her voice indicated otherwise. “Was...?”
“He’s gone. I’m not. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Stop running, Madison.”
She paused but didn’t turn. Her fists clenched by her side. “I. Am. Not. Running. Stop accusing me of that.”
“Then why are you so eager to escape this conversation?” And why was he trying to detain her? Letting her go would be better for both of them. He was in a weird mood tonight, tense, his nerves and thoughts tangled, similar to the way he’d been after the flight. Probably due to lack of sleep. But he wanted company. Madison’s company. He needed to understand what had happened six years ago, and the only way to get answers was to dig.
She slowly faced him. “I’m not versed in awkward ‘after’ encounters.”
That couldn’t mean what he thought it did, could it? But the flush on her cheeks said more than words. Andrew had bragged that Madison had been a virgin when they’d met and how he’d been the one to teach her everything. As much as Adam wished he could forget that long-ago conversation, it played in his brain like annoying elevator music.
“You haven’t been with anyone since Andrew?”
The pink deepened into red. “I didn’t say that.”
“You’re an attractive woman. You could have any man you wanted. Why wouldn’t you satisfy a basic human need like desire?”
She looked flustered by his compliment. “Because I didn’t want to feel cheap.”
That stung. “Do you feel cheap now?”
She bit her lip and flipped back her hair, feigning a nonchalance her troubled eyes refuted. “No. I—I...”
“You what, Madison?”
“I don’t feel cheap, Adam, but I do...regret what happened.”
The blend of vulnerability and latent hunger in her eyes tugged at him. “You didn’t answer my previous question. Have you had a relationship since Andrew?”
She stiffened to rigid attention. “That is none of your business.”
No. It wasn’t. But the need to know was as compelling as the need to take his next breath. “There’s nothing wrong with moving on after a decent amount of time, Madison.”
“That’s what I hear.”
But not what she believed.
He searched her face, noting the shadows in her eyes. His father had been right. She’d been grieving when she left them six years ago. Was she still mourning her loss?
“Do you still think of him when you close your eyes?”
“Sometimes.”
Revulsion rose in his throat. Despite her denial, had he been a substitute for his twin?
“Not in the way you mean,” she added hastily.
“Then how?”
“I’m a goal-oriented person. I had my future mapped out. Then it all changed. I was so naive. I never saw it coming.”
He could understand that. Andrew’s death had shocked them all. But her plans weren’t the only ones that had been derailed. If she’d stayed he wouldn’t have had to move back to keep an eye on his parents. And if he hadn’t, where would he be now? Would he have continued his climb to larger hospitals and more responsibility in an effort to impress his father? Would he have become as ambitious as his father? Would he have ever found a facility that provided the satisfaction Mercy did?
“Did you ever consider sticking with your plan to join Dad’s practice?”
“I lay in that hospital bed alone mourning the death of my child and then my husband. Not once did any of you come to check on me or to update me on Andrew’s condition. That proved to me that the only tie I had with your family was Andrew. With him gone I didn’t belong, and after the confrontation with your mother, coming back was not an option.”
It shamed him to admit he’d never once thought of visiting her. He’d been too wrapped up in watching his brother slip away.
“You didn’t visit Andrew, either.”
“I was hemorrhaging and they wouldn’t let me move. No one offered to wheel my bed down to ICU. I didn’t know that was a
n option, so I didn’t ask. By the time the doctors gave the okay for me to get in a wheelchair, Andrew was gone.”
“I’m sorry. You should’ve been allowed to say your goodbyes.”
She glanced away, her fingers picking at the hem of her robe. “Yeah. Adam, your mother and I have worked out a truce. If she ever finds out what we did... It won’t matter to me because I’ll be gone. But you—”
“She won’t find out. Stop beating yourself up. If not for the fact that you’re my brother’s wife, there’d be nothing wrong with what we did.”
“I haven’t been Andrew’s for a long time.”
No. She hadn’t. Technically.
The need to make her understand that her desires were normal and moving on was okay swelled within him. He rose and moved toward her even though a smart man would have kept the counter between them.
She backed quickly. “Stop right there. This chemistry between us is...strong but wrong. We both know that complicating an already bad situation isn’t a good idea.”
He stopped close enough to touch her. Only sheer willpower prevented him from reaching out to test the warmth of her soft cheek. “What happened to your marriage?”
Panic flashed across her face. “The past is over and rehashing it won’t change anything. Let it go. It’s late. We have to be up in four hours. I’ll see you in the morning.” She bolted from the kitchen.
Running. She might deny it, but she did it.
He locked his knees, determined to be wise enough not to follow her. Everything she’d said, everything she’d done to this point, raised questions for which he needed answers. The more time he spent with Madison the more he wondered if he’d known his twin at all.
He would find out the truth about Madison and Andrew’s marriage. But not tonight.
* * *
ADAM’S TELEPHONE RANG Friday afternoon, shattering his concentration. He realized he’d been staring blindly at the budget report, lost in thoughts of Madison. Again. Trying to figure her out had occupied too much of his mind lately. He snatched up the phone on his desk. “Adam Drake.”
“Hey, Adam. Pete Lang.”
Adrenaline kicked through Adam’s veins when the accident investigator identified himself. Finally. Answers.
“I wanted to let you know the accident looks pretty straightforward to me. Dark, deserted road. Black ice. According to the officer’s report your sister-in-law admitted she and your brother were arguing at the time, so throw distraction into the mix. For what it’s worth, your brother’s blood alcohol level was double the legal limit, but your sis-in-law had none on board.”
“She was pregnant.”
“Trust me, buddy, that’s no deterrent to some people. Looks like a tragic accident to me.”
Disappointed and simultaneously relieved, Adam sank back into his seat. “How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing yet. I have to admit something about this case is nagging me. Can’t put my finger on it, but it doesn’t feel right, and I learned a long time ago to trust my gut. In my opinion, given her slow speed, the wreck should’ve been survivable with property damage only. Let me think on it and get back to you.”
“Thanks, Pete. I look forward to your full report.”
So he’d learned nothing to derail his desire for Madison. But he was known on the job for his persistence. He wasn’t giving up.
* * *
SATURDAY MORNING MADISON stared at her office wall, thumped her pen on the file in front of her and tried not to think of Adam or the way they’d tap-danced around each other Monday and Tuesday. The sexual tension between them had been so strong she’d nearly choked on it. But they’d managed to act wisely and keep their physical distance by staying at his parents’ Monday evening until they were too exhausted to keep their eyes open and then heading to the airport directly from Danny’s office Tuesday.
She pressed a hand to her crampy stomach. She wasn’t pregnant. Her period had started Wednesday morning. And even though she should have called or texted Adam to let him know, she hadn’t. How did you break that kind of news?
“Congratulations. You’re not going to be a father!”
“Whew, we escaped that one!”
“I’m not knocked up.”
Nothing she’d come up with had sounded right. But it wasn’t only the awkward wording that had kept her from contacting him—it was the hollow ache of disappointment that had blindsided her. The list of reasons why having a child now was a bad idea was extensive. Logically, she knew that. But emotionally, the emptiness was very real. And very scary. Surely she hadn’t wanted the complication of a baby?
She scanned her immaculate office and her bare, save the file in her hand, desk. Even with her abbreviated hours, every appointment slot wasn’t filled. She spent a lot of time cleaning or reading research articles and waiting for her next patient to arrive, because she couldn’t sit still without thoughts of Adam taking over her brain. Her every-other-Saturday hours were no exception.
She’d left Piper up front with her nose buried in parenting magazines thirty minutes ago. Madison suspected it wouldn’t be long before her assistant decided to have another baby—if she wasn’t already pregnant. Madison was happy for her. Piper had reunited with the love of her life, and together she and Roth were finally forming the family they should have eleven years ago. Why not add to their happiness? Madison could expend her unexpected maternal instincts on Piper’s baby.
She made the last notation in the chart and pushed it aside. On Mondays and Tuesdays she barely had time to dictate chart contents to Lisa, then skim and sign off on her entries. Danny’s practice kept her on her feet both mentally and physically. She missed that bustle and even the total exhaustion at the end of the day. She even missed having her feet and back ache and her thoughts whirling with everything she’d seen and done.
The front door opened. She checked her watch. She only had one more patient scheduled before she closed at noon, and Mr. Rouse had never been early in all the years she’d been treating his bloodhound.
More than likely her visitor was an emergency case. Others’ misfortune put money in her pocket. She hated that, but it paid the bills. She shot to her feet and hustled toward the front of the office.
Danny and Helen stood by the reception desk, shocking her to a standstill. Danny’s face was ashen, but curiosity lit his eyes as he craned his head, examining every nook of the waiting and reception areas. Helen looked uncomfortable, then she spotted Madison and her gaze turned apologetic.
“I tried to convince him not to come, but he insisted.”
“I can’t sit around and stare at the same walls every day. I’ll go crazy.”
“I think you already have,” Helen quipped. “The drive was too much for you, Danny. I told you it would be.”
“I slept most of the way. And if I’m going to sleep all day in that bed, does it really matter whether it’s parked or rolling?”
Madison had never heard them bicker like this. Then his words registered. That bed? Panicked, she crossed to the window. The Drakes’ motor home filled her small parking lot. So much for keeping her past and her in-laws a secret from the rest of Quincey. A motor home that cost more than most of the locals’ houses would definitely garner unwanted attention.
Quincey didn’t get many visitors unless they were lost or searching for antiques. Tongues had probably started wagging as soon as they drove through downtown without stopping.
“Didn’t you have chemo yesterday, Danny?” Madison asked.
“Yes. We left right afterward. Helen drove most of the way yesterday and the remainder this morning.”
The clearing of a throat reminded Madison they weren’t alone. “Helen, Danny, this is Piper Sterling, my assistant. Piper, Helen and Danny Drake.”
Piper’s eyes widened. “Nice to meet you. You�
��ve had a long drive. I have some of my mother’s cookies and a jug of sweet tea in the back, if you’re interested in refreshments.”
“Thank you, young lady—maybe after I’ve seen Maddie’s office.”
Madison’s heart sank. How could she refuse the grand tour when he’d come this far? “There’s not a lot to see.”
Helen stepped toward the counter. “Piper, I’d love some of that tea while these two talk shop.”
“Great. Come with me.” She shot Madison an “I tried” look, then led Helen toward the back room, leaving Madison with a man who looked as if he’d rather lie down for a long nap than explore.
“Are you sure you don’t want to rest for a minute? The ride had to have been difficult.”
“All I do is rest, and I can sleep or vomit in a moving vehicle. Show me your lab.”
“I’m expecting one more patient. I can show you around until he arrives.”
She led Danny down the hall to the back of the building. He moved more slowly than usual, taking a moment to glance into each treatment room, then he paused in the doorway to her lab and scanned the long narrow space.
“You keep the place spotless.”
“My teacher had high standards.”
A smile twitched on his lips. He’d been an exacting taskmaster. Danny nodded. “He was a bit of a perfectionist.”
“The equipment is old and not state-of-the-art like yours, but it still works,” Madison defended.
He headed straight for her old microscope and stroked a hand along the arm. “This is the same model I had when I started out. Bought mine used. It was all I could afford. The original owner of your practice probably purchased this equipment new when he opened his doors. It’s all about the same age.” He said it with fondness in his voice rather than condemnation.
“He did. I found the receipts. I’m not much on buying fancy gadgets when the old ones still work.”
He moved onto her centrifuge. “This is the way we did things in the good ol’ days before time and money became the gods everyone worshipped. There are times I miss those days.”
“Your practice has grown so much that I doubt you could manage without the time-savers.”