The way Scott looked at Holly, eyes brimming with affection and an intimacy reflected in Holly’s eyes too.
I had that once…
Holly waved her away. “Go and have fun, it’ll all work out okay.”
I do hope so, I really do hope so.
It wasn’t hard to find Juliet’s group. Amy heard them first, talking loudly and disturbing the peace of the spa. She spotted them sitting in a circle around the Jacuzzi, their legs dangling into the bubbling water. There was a gap, if she sat with her headphones in hopefully they’d think she was listening to music and if they saw her fiddling with her phone think she was scrolling through her playlist. If she kept her iPhone in the waterproof case it should be okay.
She slipped into the gap; glad the other women barely glanced at her. Just as she’d thought, they didn’t appear to recognise her.
Invisible.
She surreptitiously set her phone to voice record, knowing it could easily record for several hours. As the women chatted about people she’d never heard of Amy found her attention drifting off, Josh’s words reverberating inside her.
She’d never believed that stuff about him ending their relationship for her sake at the time. Back at twenty-one she would’ve bitten someone’s head off if they’d told her she was too young to marry. But now…well she could see it was true, they had been too young to marry. And she had been psyched about teaching. Could she really have coped with being marooned in an expat compound with nothing better to do with her time than top up her tan?
Had he been right to leave her to follow her own dreams? Maybe…
She squeezed her eyes shut briefly. It all made sense in her head but her heart refused to agree. Josh had set her free but she hadn’t wanted her freedom, she’d wanted him. The more she thought about it, her anger with Josh seeped away to be replaced by a terrible sadness.
It felt like such a terrible waste and she couldn’t let Josh make another mistake in the name of ‘doing the right thing.’ This wasn’t about whatever she imagined might happen between her and Josh. This was about protecting Josh from Juliet because he was far too nice to see what a cow she really was.
Amy had tuned out the conversation but her Josh-antennae twitched when the conversation turned round to the wedding. She tried not to look interested, fixing her gaze on the darkened glass window with its view of the mountaintops.
“So he rang you last night?” The brunette with a Cleopatra bob asked her. “I thought you’d agreed no contact between stags and hens?”
“Do you think he’s got cold feet?” A woman with expensive looking highlights raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow.
“If he has I’ve got a little trick up my sleeve.” Juliet stared at her friend, her face impassive. “I haven’t spent months getting myself in shape for this wedding for nothing. Not to mention the stress of dealing with that inept wedding planner. And I’ve got more relatives and friends flying into Geneva tomorrow. Do you think I’d let myself be jilted and humiliated in front of them?”
Amy’s stomach clenched but she kept her eyes fixed on a mountaintop and tried to look bored. It was difficult when she wanted to leap up and slap Juliet.
“Can you imagine the humiliation of being jilted?” Ms Blonde Highlights replied, a cruel twist at the edge of her mouth when she smiled.
“But I can’t imagine Josh jilting you, he’s too decent.” Ms Cleopatra Bob butted in. “And this ski wedding was his idea wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” Juliet replied. “He said he didn’t want to do the traditional thing or his parents not being there would be too awful. I don’t mind, after all you’ve got to admit it’s different.”
Please someone ask her what trick she has up her sleeve Amy pleaded silently, her muscles tense as she waited. She had a nagging feeling about this ‘trick’, she needed to know.
“Do you remember Tara?” Cleopatra bob girl asked in the hushed tones of someone about to enjoy some juicy gossip. “When she was jilted, she lost it big time. I think they had to cart her off to the Priory.”
“There’s no way I’d let anyone humiliate me like that,” Juliet’s voice had a hard edge to it.
“So, what’s your trick then? If it turns out he’s got cold feet?” Bob girl asked. “Not that he will though, how could he not be really into you?”
Halleluiah. At last someone has asked the question.
But Amy’s exhilaration was tinged with trepidation. She had a very bad feeling about this.
“I’ll tell him I’m pregnant of course.” Juliet replied, sounding smug. “As you said, Josh is a decent guy, quite old fashioned when it comes to that sort of thing.”
The involuntary gasp had escaped Amy’s mouth before she could stop it. Rage erupted inside her as she swung her legs out of the Jacuzzi, getting ready to stand up, unable to bear being so close to Juliet for one minute longer.
“Hey, isn’t that the weird girl from the wedding planners?” Ms Blonde Highlights announced loudly and the rest of the group stared at Amy. Juliet’s eyes narrowed.
“Why aren’t you working on my wedding?” Juliet demanded icily, glaring at Amy as though she had no right to use the same facilities as her.
“It’s not really my job, and I er…had today off.” Amy pulled her headphones out of her ears and got to her feet, in her haste she knocked the screen lock button and the iPhone fell down onto the blue tiled floor.
Oh crap.
The voice-recording app was visible on the screen.
“You’re recording me?” Juliet’s voice rose, fury blazing in her eyes as she made a lunge for the phone and picked it up.
Amy wasn’t quick enough to get there first and Juliet’s friends stood up to block her from reaching Juliet.
“I could click erase, but maybe I should make sure.” Juliet pulled the phone out of the waterproof case and threw it into the air above the Jacuzzi. Unable to move forward Amy could only watch as it fell into the middle of the bubbling Jacuzzi. The rage inside her was bubbling too, threatening to boil over.
“Oops, sorry, looks like your phone is fucked.” Juliet sneered. “I guess that’s one of the hazards of recording people without their permission. Now why don’t you tell me why you were spying on me because I’d say it’s not just your phone that’s in trouble.”
Josh sat in the sun outside the Chalet Repos. A morning’s skiing hadn’t helped him sort his mind out. The conversation with Juliet last night had made him less and less sure he could go through with this. How could he ever have thought she was the right one to settle down with? What had he been thinking? That you should just marry whoever you were with when the music stopped?
Grief had made him settle for the wrong person – right place, right time, wrong girl.
Juliet was the poor man’s Amy. No, scratch that, she didn’t compare at all. There’d been a tone in her voice last night he didn’t like and didn’t recognise. How well did he really know Juliet?
He’d rushed into this. Losing his parents left him longing to create his own family. Juliet had been there at the right place, right time. She was good company and energetic in bed. Also she’d said she loved to travel and was happy to up and relocate if he took another job abroad.
He’d thought it was worth settling to start a family. You didn’t get two people like Amyin one lifetime. If only he’d known that… But he’d stuffed up and had to live with the consequences. Or did he?
He’d come back to the chalet early in the hope he might be able to find Amy again and talk to her; the other girls had said she wasn’t skiing today. But there’d been no sign of her at Chalet Repos.
He could hear the iPod dock playing Christmas songs on a loop from inside the Chalet, now on was All I want for Christmas…
And he knew all he wanted for Christmas was Amy. There was no point fighting the truth. The question was what should he do about it? He kicked hard at the fresh powdery snow on the ground. Had Amy been telling him the truth about Juliet?
Yes.<
br />
His gut had no doubt. Juliet had been weird with him on the phone, her answers about Ibiza snappy. There was nothing he could put his finger on. Just a feeling, a difference in the tone of her voice, a barrier between them.
No evidence in other words. Nothing of substance to give him cause to call off a wedding, to disrupt the travel plans of their friends and family. It should be a no-brainer. So why couldn’t he accept that?
He stared at the road leading up to the chalet. He must be hallucinating because he could’ve sworn that was Juliet and Amy walking together towards Chalet Repos.
What the…
Josh sat up straighter, peering forwards. No, he wasn’t hallucinating.
He got to his feet. As they got closer he saw the furious look on Juliet’s face, her skin mottled crimson with fury. He turned his gaze on Amy, her eyes were puffy and red, he could see that even from this distance.
What on earth had happened? How….
Juliet marched up to the chalet, Amy doggedly trailing a few steps behind her. A spark in Amy’s eyes, of pride and determination, moved him.
He crushed the instinct to go to Amy and wrap his arms around her. He had to play fair by Juliet.
“If you’ll excuse me,” Juliet turned to Amy her words laced with sarcasm. “I want to talk to my fiancé and Mrs Hamilton about your shocking behaviour.”
Amy met Josh’s gaze, cheeks flushed and eyes wide and pleading.
“If I were you I’d start checking the flights back to the UK.” Juliet practically spat out the words. “Because you won’t have a job by the end of the day. Good luck with that, I hear Christmas Eve is a bitch of a day to travel. I’d like to help you but I’ve got a wedding to prepare for.”
“Holly isn’t here,” Josh said, his eyes scanning Amy’s face, flushed pink, crimson spots burning in her cheeks. He knew that look; she was furious, equally as furious as Juliet but containing it, just about.
“What exactly is the matter?” Josh added, perplexed. What on earth had Amy done to make Juliet so angry? Instinctively he wanted to protect her. “Shall we sit down and talk about this like adults?”
Juliet snorted. Amy ignored her and walked over to a deckchair close to Josh, slumping gratefully down into it, ignoring the narky glare cast her way by Juliet.
Amy turned towards Josh, hands clasped tightly together in her lap.
“I got you your proof,” she said calmly. “I got you the evidence that you shouldn’t marry her.”
“You little…” Juliet surged forward towards Amy, hand raised. Josh blocked Juliet’s arm and grasped it firmly. She glared at him. “So, how long have you been having an affair with that piece of…”
“I haven’t,” Josh cut in calmly, although he felt anything but calm.
Juliet snorted again. “Why else would she be creeping around and trying to record my private conversations? You must think I’m an idiot.”
“We used to be an item, at university. Amy is just looking out for me. What’s all this talk about evidence? Evidence of what?”
If he had evidence of an affair, no one could blame him for calling everything off, surely? What should he do?
Call off the wedding, find out what’s up with Amy, really talk to her and find out if things can be rekindled.
His heart was quite sure of what he wanted to do. But calling off the wedding would be a big move. What if this was simply a case of classic cold feet?
It’s not, you know it’s not.
“Show him your evidence then,” Juliet sneered, trying to jerk her arm out of Josh’s grip. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt your girlfriend. How touching of you to defend her.”
He let go and turned his gaze to Amy. She stared up at him from her deckchair, her fingers interlaced tightly, her eyes wide and pleading.
“I don’t have it. Juliet dropped my phone in the Jacuzzi,” Amy admitted. “I think it’s pretty much had it. Maybe it will dry out but I doubt it.”
Juliet smiled smugly. “She shouldn’t record people without their knowledge. I wonder what the privacy law is in Switzerland. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal. I could get her into a whole lot of trouble.”
“Come on Juliet, let’s not make this even worse than it already is. Let’s have a bit of dignity, okay?” Josh replied, flashing her an angry look.
“I’m sorry Josh darling,” Juliet’s voice became wheedling. “It’s just all been so unbelievably stressful, trying to tie up all the wedding loose ends and then having your deranged ex-girlfriend stalking me. If you say nothing has happened between the two of you I’ll believe you.”
Juliet had pulled out a tissue and was dabbing delicately at her eyes. “It’s all been so emotional. I was going to wait until our wedding day to tell you but I may as well…I’m pregnant Josh, isn’t that amazing?”
Josh felt like he’d been punched. He stared at Juliet, momentarily stunned by her change of tack. She believed him that nothing had been going on. God, she was good at turning the tables.
What if she really was pregnant though? Although nothing was ever one hundred per cent effective, it still seemed unlikely, considering how careful he was. Could Juliet really be pregnant?
“She’s lying.” Amy jumped to her feet, her small hands curled into fists. “Josh, she’s lying, don’t listen to her.”
“Amy, I think I need to talk to Juliet alone. Could you leave us for a minute?” Josh stared at Juliet, suddenly filled with absolute certainty.
He knew what he had to do.
Amy staggered back as though he’d slapped her, her face draining of colour, turning almost as white as the snow surrounding them. He wanted to reach out and reassure her but he had to do this properly. She turned and walked stiffly to the Chalet entrance.
“You heard him,” Juliet smirked as she called out after Amy. “And don’t think you’ve heard the last of this. I’ll be having words with Mrs Hamilton. I’m not having you anywhere near my wedding.”
Once Amy was inside the chalet Josh turned his gaze onto Juliet. Her eyes had a malicious gleam to them, like a cat about to play with a captured mouse. She thought she’d won.
“There isn’t going to be a wedding Juliet,” he spoke as kindly as he could manage, after all they were both at fault here. He shouldn’t have rushed things when he barely knew her.
“Are you serious?” Juliet screeched. “You’re taking the word of that little… slut?”
“No, Juliet.” It became harder to control his voice but he kept it low. This was going to be hard for her to deal with, after all Juliet really cared about what people thought. “We should never had got engaged, it was all too quick and we barely know each other, as I think today has shown. Can we talk about this like adults, rather than resorting to a slanging match?”
She glowered at him. “You’re really calling it off?”
“There is no baby, is there Juliet?” He stared her down.
“Fuck you Josh,” Juliet hissed then turned around and stomped off back towards the hotel.
Josh watched her, thinking it was odd how little he cared. Juliet could blacken his name, say she’d ended it because he was sleeping with Amy and tell all kinds of lies and he didn’t give a monkeys.
Now he needed to find Amy.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Amy stumbled into the dorm room. At first she was glad the girls were out skiing but then she found herself wishing for a pair of arms to comfort her.
So. That’s that then.
She’d done her best and the now the fight had drained out of her. That Juliet would lie about being pregnant shouldn’t have surprised her, but it felt like a knife being twisted in her guts; she felt an actual physical pain in her stomach. She slumped down onto the floor beneath the window, drawing her knees up to her chest, vaguely aware of the tears streaming down her cheeks.
This wasn’t fair. But then life wasn’t, she already knew that. She’d have to suck it up.
And she would, once she’d worked out how to scrape
herself up off the floor. Just as she’d clawed her way up out of the depression, getting better and better at hiding her sadness away from the world in general and her family in particular. She never wanted to put her parents through the stress of her illness again.
And now she’d have to find storage space for this pain too, find a way of containing it. She’d just have to work harder, run quicker and ski faster to keep the dark clouds at bay. Because she couldn’t go back to those bleak depression days with her parents faces creased with concern and the tablets that made her feel zombie-ish and decidedly un-her. She hadn’t liked taking them. It seemed pointless, after all you couldn’t take a pill to cure a broken heart or bring the dead back to life. She hadn’t wanted to pretend everything was okay because it bloody well wasn’t.
But over time she had to pretend, just to get everyone off her back. She’d missed a good chunk of the start of term for teaching training. They said she could defer her place a year but somehow she’d never wanted to go back. All the excitement about a career as a primary school teacher had been drained out of her. She’d also lost her confidence; how could she be in charge of small children if some days she could barely bring herself to shower?
The only way to keep depression at bay was to keep moving from job to job, relationship to relationship and even country to country. That had been particularly effective. Pretending and continually moving had been for her own sake too.
But now she wanted to press the pause button on it all. She needed to stop.
But she might’ve known that excavating the past would lead to this – crouching in a room, crying her eyes out, feeling lonelier than she’d ever felt before.
There was a knock on the door. Amy looked up, startled. The girls wouldn’t bother to knock and Holly wouldn’t be back until dinnertime.
“Ye…es?” she croaked, wondering if Juliet had come in to have another go at her. What if Juliet did get Amy thrown out? Given what she’d done to one of Holly’s clients, Amy had to be prepared. How much money did she have - enough to find accommodation on Christmas Eve in Verbier if she couldn’t get a flight?
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