“And we’re supposed to believe this was purely coincidental?”
“Why not?” Paula tried to take the high road. “We both thought Sheldon had moved on, remember?”
“Yes, and I still want to believe that,” Virginia said. “But seeing him here of all places and talking to Chase like they’re buddies scares me.”
“I’m not too comfortable with it, either,” Paula confessed. “But the worst thing I could do is confront Sheldon, or ask him to leave when he’s here with Chase’s blessing as Gail’s date.”
“I’ll go talk to him,” Virginia said. “We can’t have Sheldon ruin the party.”
“I’m afraid it may be too late for that,” Chase said as he came up behind Paula.
“Chase,” Paula said, facing his eyes that were so hard it nearly caused her to take a step back.
“I just had a very interesting conversation with your ex,” he said sullenly.
Paula flinched. “What did he say to you?” she asked fearfully.
“Whatever it was,” Virginia broke in, “don’t let Sheldon get in your head, Chase. That man would say anything if it meant hurting Paula.”
“I can speak for myself,” Paula said firmly, appreciating Virginia coming to her defense. If there were issues on the table regarding her past, she had to clear them up herself and hope Chase would listen. She looked up at his face. It was as tense as she’d ever seen it, suggesting their relationship had been called into question. “Talk to me, baby.”
“Not here,” he said irritably. “Let’s go upstairs.”
“Okay.” Paula looked at Virginia.
“Go ahead,” she said. “I’ll help Isa keep the party running smoothly till you guys get back.”
Paula met Chase’s gaze and wondered if the party was over.
Chase could barely wait till they were alone to confront Paula. He didn’t want to believe that she had led him astray and couldn’t be counted on to hold up her end of the bargain when all was said and done. Yet that’s exactly what Sheldon had implied, though Chase had little doubt that the man was a vindictive bastard. That didn’t mean there wasn’t some truth in his words, cutting as they were.
Chase closed the door to his bedroom after Paula was inside. He studied her for a moment, trying to figure out just how well he knew the woman whom he’d been prepared to ask to marry him tonight. Maybe he didn’t know her very well at all. Maybe she wasn’t really in love with him the way he needed her to be in order for this work.
“Is it true that he was one of your clients before you hooked up with him?” Chase asked bluntly.
Paula seemed to fumble with her thoughts. “Yes,” she said at last. “Sheldon hired me to redecorate his breakfast room. He asked me out later, and I said yes. We ended up dating for a short while, until I realized he wasn’t what I was looking for.”
Chase cocked a brow. “So this is a pattern with you? You romance men who hire you and then move on when things get too serious?”
“It’s not like that,” Paula insisted, frowning. “I never set out to have a romance with Sheldon. It just happened, and he soured when I got out. That’s normal and has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”
“That’s not the way I see it.” Chase sighed. “Seems to me you’re not really sure how you feel. I don’t know if it’s something about eligible men you work for and becoming attached to, or a fear of commitment when it comes down to the nitty-gritty.”
“I don’t need to be psychoanalyzed about how I feel,” Paula said, her lips tightly drawn. “I haven’t made a habit of attaching myself to single clients, and I don’t fear commitment to the right man—you.”
Chase was less than convinced, going against his strongest desires. “How do I know you aren’t just telling me what I want to hear?” he questioned.
“You’ll just have to trust me on that,” she responded tersely. “I don’t take such words lightly.”
He bristled. “Trust you, huh? Should I really? Did you ever consider Sheldon to be the ‘right man,’ before unceremoniously ending things with him?”
Paula glared at Chase through watered eyes. “I never told Sheldon I loved him, if that’s what you’re wondering. I would only say that to a man if I really meant it.” She slowly put her arms around Chase’s waist. “Can’t you see that Sheldon’s simply trying to drive a wedge between us as payback because his ego couldn’t handle being dumped?”
Chase didn’t doubt that for one second. He knew how men got when trying to deal with rejection, especially when they were in love with the woman. It was similar to losing a loved one through death. He could understand how Sheldon wanted to strike back when the opportunity presented itself, but that didn’t make it right. Chase didn’t want to feed off the man’s parting shot, but he couldn’t deny that it had had an effect on him, whether he wanted it to or not.
He closed his eyes, allowing Paula to continue holding him while refraining from doing the same. He could feel her heart beating rapidly. The closeness between them reminded Chase of why he had fallen in love with Paula. He wished with all his heart that they could just put everything in their pasts behind them and live happily thereafter. But this was the real world, and he needed to reassess their relationship before things went any further and he wound up making the biggest mistake of his life.
Chase moved away from Paula, favoring her with a bleak stare. “Look, I think we need to take a step back.”
Her eyes widened. “What are you saying?”
He looked away. “Things are moving too fast between us.”
“If this is about—”
“It has nothing to do with your ex,” Chase said, trying to convince her if not himself, “other than it made me realize that I’m not ready to take this to the next level yet.” He forced himself to meet her eyes. “If you decide to break things off, I’ll understand.”
“I love you,” Paula said, her eyes watering. “I don’t want to break things off. You mean too much to me. If you’re getting cold feet about our relationship for whatever reason, just say so.”
Chase wanted to back down and carry on with the evening as planned. He checked himself from succumbing to emotions, believing it wouldn’t be fair to either of them to pretend that doubts had not surfaced, real or imagined.
“My feelings about you haven’t changed,” he told her candidly. “Let’s just give this some time and see how things go. Are you willing to do that?”
“Whatever you want.” Paula dabbed at her eyes. “When you realize that there’s nothing phony about what I feel for you, give me a call.”
Chase felt a chill as Paula peered at him before marching out of the bedroom. He stood there for a moment, wondering if he had unwittingly sabotaged their relationship, or if he’d just suspended a marriage that he’d thought was inevitable. Chase took the box out of his pocket, opened it and regarded Isabelle’s customized engagement ring that he had planned to give Paula tonight with family and friends surrounding them. Now he had to wonder if it would ever happen.
Chapter 22
“Call him,” Isabelle urged Paula, the sternness in her voice clearly evident. “It’s the only way to get things back on track with Chase.”
“I can’t,” Paula said stubbornly a week after Chase’s party had ended on a dour note. It was the last time they had spoken, and she was frustrated that Chase had chosen not to call. She feared that the relationship they had carefully built was slowly slipping away.
“And why not?” Isabelle’s eyes narrowed as Paula lay in bed feeling sorry for herself.
“Because I’m not the one who decided to slow things down,” she said snappily. “Chase has my number and can call me anytime he wants.”
“I know that, but sometimes you have to be the bigger person. Moping around the house isn’t the answer, not when it’s as plain as the nose on your face that you still love Chase.”
“I never said I didn’t,” Paula said emotionally. “I’ve never been more in love. But how can
I fight back when Sheldon has him believing that I’m only interested in short-term relationships with men I work for? That couldn’t be further from the truth, but Chase apparently has enough doubts now that he’s willing to set aside everything, even though it should be perfectly clear that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”
“You can’t allow your life to be dictated by a bitter ex!” Isabelle’s brows drew together. “Maybe he did get to Chase. Or maybe Chase was just a bit scared of his own feelings and needed to be reassured that you truly were in this for the long haul. Either way, this is your future we’re talking about. Don’t throw it away because of pride. Chase is too good of a catch to let him slip through your fingers, even if you have to make the first move to patch things up.”
Paula wanted to bury her head under the pillow. But that would only deprive her of air, not the feelings she had for Chase, which weren’t going away anytime soon, if ever. The truth was, she hadn’t been able to eat, drink, work or sleep since their confrontation. Though part of Paula believed this was proof that she was destined to remain single and unhappy all her life, the better part of her refused to succumb to that notion. What she had with Chase was real, even if he was faltering. They were meant to be together as sure as anyone ever had been. If Chase couldn’t see this on his own, she had to reach out to him and try to hold on to her man and the promise of a future with him.
Paula managed to smile at her grandmother, who clearly wasn’t about to take no for an answer. “All right, all right, I’ll call him. Satisfied?”
“Not till I know you two are back together where you belong,” Isabelle said firmly. A hint of a smile played on her lips. “One step at a time.”
“Agreed.”
Isabelle reached into her pocket. “I brought this up, thinking you might need it.”
Paula grinned as she took the cell phone. “Thanks, Isa. You think of everything.”
“That’s what grandmothers do. We want to make things better for our grandchildren, especially at this time of year.”
Paula had practically forgotten that Christmas was only days away, so caught up was she in the way things had gone downhill between her and Chase. She waited till Isa had given her some privacy and then punched Chase’s preprogrammed number before she could chicken out. Butterflies swarmed in Paula’s stomach as she tried to think of what to say and what not to. She didn’t want to blow this or give Chase further reason to doubt her love for him.
She got his voice mail. Paula hesitated, not wanting to talk to a machine in lieu of the man she loved. She hung up without leaving a message and pondered her next move to win Chase back.
Chase was at the Prince Club with his father for some man-to-man talk, even if he wasn’t exactly in the mood for being lectured. Or maybe that was exactly what he needed—the voice of reason from someone who had been there. Chase was still vacillating back and forth about Paula and their relationship days after he’d all but accused her of playing with his emotions. His love for her was as strong as ever, but his confidence that they were right for each other had taken a hit. He wasn’t interested in going from widower to being engaged to someone who might never make it to the altar once she realized it meant the end of being single to go after the next man who captured her attention. Was he being totally unfair to Paula based solely on the seed her bitter and inebriated ex had planted?
“Chase…?” Sylvester was saying.
He looked up from the fog he’d been in, not sure what had just been said. “I’m sorry,” Chase said. “I drifted off for a moment there.”
“I can see that.” Sylvester gazed at him sharply. “What I said is you’ve got to get out of this funk. It’s not you, son.”
“I’m not sure about that.” Chase lifted his drink. “Maybe what you see is what you get, someone who’s afraid of being hurt. After Rochelle’s death, I don’t think I can take another major blow to my love life. Yes, I know that Rochelle never meant to leave me, but she still did, just like Mom left you. The grief subsides, but it never fully goes away. It would be almost as unbearable if I were to pour my affections into a relationship with someone who was not totally on the same page but hoped to make me think otherwise till ready to step aside.”
“I hear you,” Sylvester said understandingly. “I just don’t believe you have anything to worry about with Paula. She’s the real thing, and I know she loves you just as much as you love her. Deep down inside, I think you know that, too.”
“What I know is that she’s been single all her life,” Chase said stubbornly, even if conceding that he was largely blowing off steam in trying to make himself feel better and convinced that Paula really did love him and wanted to be with him. “Maybe there’s a reason for that. Can I really ask someone to marry me who may not have being single out of her system? What if Paula says yes and then on her next redecorating job she meets someone richer and better-looking than me? Could that spell the end of our relationship?”
Sylvester furrowed his brow. “I don’t think so. Listen to me. Paula’s not a gold digger. I have no idea why it didn’t work out between her and this other fella, but their relationship has nothing to do with you.”
“You’re sure about that?” Chase asked with reservations. “When I first met Paula, she practically jumped down my throat for just looking at her. Maybe there was an underlying theme there that was saying don’t get involved with me or I’ll only end up breaking your heart.”
Sylvester shook his head and sipped his cocktail. “Will you listen to yourself? You don’t believe that any more than I do. I had a good feeling about Paula from the start, which is why I sent her your way. I’ve seen nothing to make me doubt my initial instincts. The reason some people stay single is that they can’t find someone worthy of getting involved with for a lifetime. Paula found that with you, just as you have with her. Don’t throw it all away for no good reason.”
“So you think I’m being foolish by having second thoughts about us?” Chase asked, studying his drink.
“No, I wouldn’t say foolish. More like overly cautious and not giving yourself enough credit for recognizing what you see in Paula,” Sylvester said.
Chase conceded that he saw a lot in her to admire and fall in love with. He just questioned whether or not it was enough to eliminate all doubts. He didn’t want to jump back in only to jump out again when the going got tough. That was no way to go into an engagement, let alone marriage. Was it wrong to want someone he could count on no matter what for as long as they lived?
“If you’re asking me if there are guarantees for what might or might not happen down the line, I’d say no,” Sylvester voiced, seeming to read Chase’s mind. “None of us knows what the future holds, but if you want your crusty old man’s opinion about what chance you and Paula have for a long and happy relationship, I’d say it’s a damned strong likelihood. You just need to lighten up and go with your heart on this one, son.”
Chase put the drink to his lips thoughtfully. His heart was the most important thing he had going for him. It did belong to Paula, whether he wanted to admit that or not. Having his heart broken was not an option any more than he would ever knowingly break her heart. Maybe they could rekindle the flames without missing a beat and put the weight of the world behind them.
Chase had wanted to call Paula on more than one occasion but wasn’t sure what to say. He was aware that Paula had called him today, but she didn’t leave a message. Did that suggest she was also at a loss for the proper words, or had she acquiesced to his desire to slow things down? Maybe she was fine with them keeping their distance, or maybe the whole thing was tearing her apart as it was him.
Chase homed in on his father’s eyes that were already peering at him. “You think I need to go with my heart, huh?”
Sylvester nodded. “It trumps pretty much everything else when it comes to knowing what’s right and wrong concerning love. I have complete faith that you’ll get beyond your misgivings and apprehension and give Paula the ch
ance to prove her love is every bit as strong as yours. She deserves that. Once you realize the truth, there will be no stopping you two from getting the most out of your relationship.”
Chase cracked a smile. “Thanks for listening.”
“I think it was more the other way around, don’t you?” Sylvester asked.
Chase chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you have been doing most of the talking. I’ve absorbed it all, and, as always, you’ve managed to put things in a proper perspective for me.”
Sylvester patted him on the arm warmly. “If I can’t pass on to you some of what I’ve learned about life, I haven’t been a very good father.”
“You’ve been great,” Chase made clear, especially with his real mother out of the picture. “I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else.”
Sylvester’s eyes crinkled. “I feel the same way about you, son.” He stood. “Right now, I have to run to the men’s room. Why don’t you order us one more round, then we’ll get out of here.”
“Okay, sounds good.” Chase watched him disappear. He mused about Paula, regretting the way he’d reacted to Sheldon’s cutting words. Chase also felt it had been a good chance to reconsider their relationship, which had been hot and heavy, before making any moves that could very well have implications for the rest of their lives.
Two days before Christmas, Paula was jogging with Virginia. They weren’t bothered by the light snow that was falling and sticking to the ground, or the cold temperature. Having not heard from Chase since his party, Paula decided she would show up on his doorstep on Christmas Day. It was the right thing to do, if only to show him she still cared and hoped he did, too. She was perfectly willing to start over if that’s what he wanted. However, some things could not be easily erased from her memory, such as their steamy, passionate lovemaking that Paula sorely missed.
“I think that’s a terrific idea,” Virginia said when Paula told her what her plan was.
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