“Because I'm not part of your ‘club’?” I made inverted commas in the air which resulted in a disgruntled, unappreciative sneer from Six. “I've already told you that I'm trustworthy, Six. Whatever you tell me goes no further.”
He let his head fall back for a moment. “Fuck, you drive me crazy you know that?”
I grinned. “Yup.”
He shook his head, defeated. “Okay... But I'm warning you, once you know what's going on you may want to tell me to fuck off out of your life.”
Nope, not a chance. “I'll risk it.”
He laid back on the bed again and folded his hands behind his head, breaking eye contact. “There's a piece of land right next some land that we own. We call it no-man's land but really it's been more ours than anybody's over the years. But...Loki's Legion have decided they want it. They have no real claim over it but they're just stirring the shit pot. And after the stuff with the bastard who tried to rape you, and me stepping in, they've taken things a step further. Apparently they don't take too kindly to having their perverted plans fucked with. There were rumblings going on between the clubs anyway. But...well everything that goes on now is a battle of wills.
“They were on the land last night and we heard about it so we went up to see what was going on. We had no intention of starting anything, least of all a gun fight. But... one of the Legion guys pulled out a .45 and started firing. Fucking asshole had been drinking and so he missed with every shot...thankfully. But Weasel... he's one of our guys unfortunately...a bit of a loose cannon if you ask me...he began to fire back and...”
“And?” My heart began to thump at my ribs again as I knew what was coming.
I watched his throat working. He inhaled a shaking breath and closed his eyes. “There was a girl there... Deak's daughter—he's the Prez of Loki's Legion—anyway, she got caught in the crossfire and was hit.” He cleared his throat and swallowed hard as his voice broke. “There was...there was a lot of screaming...and blood...I've never...it was... Anyway... she...um...she died before anyone could get help. Turns out she was hit right in the fucking heart. She was eighteen.” His voice cracked and his eyes remained closed. The disbelief and emotion in his voice made my own throat tighten.
I gasped and clutched my own chest where my heart skipped and tripped over itself. “Oh my God, Six, that's awful.”
Still without looking at me he nodded. “Yeah. It was. No one knew why the hell she was even there. She shouldn't have been there.”
Suddenly a shiver traveled my spine and nausea rolled over me. Guilt hit me like a ton of bricks and I covered my mouth in case my stomach rejected its meager contents. Realization of what had happened began to sink in. This whole thing had gotten worse because of me. Because Six had stepped in to help me. That young girl was dead because of me. Before I knew what was happening a sob ripped from my throat and I crumpled forward onto the bed retching and gasping. I could hardly breathe and I began to see stars in front of my eyes as my lungs desperately tried to pull in air.
I was on the verge of blacking out when Six grabbed me and dragged me into his lap. I hadn't even seen him move.
“Don't you fucking dare blame yourself, Chloe. I know that's what you're doing and you're wrong. This is not your fault. Do you hear me?” He placed a hand on each side of my face and forced me to look at him. “This shit was going on years before I even knew you existed, baby. Just breathe. Okay? Just breathe. You didn't cause any of this. And if I had to stop that bastard from attacking you all over I'd do it in a heartbeat. You hearing me? In a fucking heartbeat.”
Six breathed along with me and I eventually managed to calm down. My hands gripped onto his where they rested on my face. His eyes locked on mine now as he repeated over and over, “In through your nose and out through your mouth, nice and slow...”
Once I was no longer in the midst of a panic attack he placed me back on the bed and disappeared into the adjacent bathroom. A few moments later he returned and began to wipe my face with a cloth he had soaked in warm water. His smile was reassuring but my heart was still refusing to co-operate.
He tucked my hair behind my ears. “That's much better. You okay?”
I nodded, not yet daring to speak in case the whole thing began again.
“I'm gonna go downstairs and get us a drink okay? You stay here. I'll be back soon.” He rose from the bed and kissed the top of my head before walking out the door, still only in his boxers.
I sat there on the bed taking in the sparse surroundings of the room. I knew that he didn't actually live here and guessed that the room was used by others too. I wondered what MC life was really like and if I could fit into it. Did I want to fit into it? And more to the point did Six want me to fit into it with him? Or was I just a fling? It was a moot point if all he was after was a fuck buddy. I couldn't be that. Not even for him. It just wasn't me.
Ten minutes later he reappeared holding two glasses of amber liquid. He handed one to me and I took it tentatively sniffing at the contents. Whiskey. Not my drink of choice but I guessed this was his way of helping me to be calm. I took a small sip and almost choked as the liquid burned a path to my stomach.
Chapter Eighteen
Six
As I held Chloe in my arms and tried to calm her down I inwardly cursed myself for spilling everything out on her like that. The last thing she should have felt was guilt for the crap going on in my life. And this was what I'd wanted to avoid. Dragging her into my mess was not something I had intended to do. But I'd tried to keep my distance and failed miserably.
Selfish bastard.
She was too pure. Too sweet to be tainted by the shit I was involved in. Okay she had lived and experienced stuff that had already marked her soul in some ways but I didn't want to exacerbate that. And here I was doing the exact opposite of what I'd wanted. I'd set out with the best of intentions. I'd wanted to protect her and instead I was ruining her fucking life. I should just push her out. Force her to leave before it's too late. My head had the sense to think it, but the selfish bastard inside of me wanted her. Needed her. It was like she was somehow the antidote to all the darkness I'd seen. It scared me that I might grow to depend on her ability to make me feel good.
To feel worthy.
I'd already been to the bar and gotten us a drink, but Chloe had almost choked on it. She was even too fucking innocent for whiskey.
That spoke volumes.
I didn't touch mine as I sat surreptitiously watching her. We sat there in an uneasy silence for a while until I could stand it no longer. “So...I guess I should take you home, huh?”
She shook her head. “It's okay. Just call me a cab if you want me to go.”
A cab? No fucking way. “Uh-uh. I want to make sure you get home safe. This is no place for you to be.”
She slammed her glass down on the night stand, sloshing the contents out and I jumped like a little girl. I'd pissed her off again.
“Six, would you just stop treating me like a child, please. I chose to be here. I don't actually want to go home. I came here to be with you.” Suddenly she closed her eyes and dropped her head forward. “Unless you want me to leave?”
I didn't want her to leave. At all. But her being here was confusing the hell out of me. I needed a break.
“Look, I don't know about you but I'm starving. I'll go down to the kitchen and see if I can't rustle up something to eat.” It was a blatant change of subject and I knew she had me pegged. But before I could see that in her eyes, I stood and left the room to make my way down to the bar. Delilah was sitting there watching Cain and Melody kissing in the corner, his hand flat on her belly. Why the fuck Dee continued to torture herself was beyond me.
She glanced up as I approached. “Hey. Don't you have any clothes? I don't wanna see your junk, man. You're like my bro and it's wrong on so many frickin' levels.”
Aw shit. There had been no one to take notice earlier seeing as they were all occupied elsewhere but now, I suddenly remembered I was in only
my boxers and I cringed. “Sorry, Dee. I just came down for a couple more drinks and some food. Things have gotten intense up there.”
“She know what went down up at no-man's land yet?” I nodded and pulled my lips between my teeth. Delilah shook her head and jumped down from the bar stool she was sitting on. “Oh shit. She's still here though right? That's a good thing.”
I snorted. “Is it?”
Her brow scrunched in confusion. “Well isn't it?”
“Shit. I really like her, Dee. And that's not a fucking good thing. She shouldn't be here.”
“Hey come on. Like I just said, you're like a brother to me and I can honestly say that in all the years I've known you she is the first girl who has really caught your attention. You get those fucking doe eyes when you look at her. And she's a feisty one. I like her. She's a keeper.”
I shook my head. I didn't want the club to like her. That'd only make it worse when I kicked her ass out for her own good. “She can't stick around. It's not safe. She needs out of my life.”
Another frown. “She said that?” She handed me a couple large glasses of single malt.
“No. I'm saying it.”
Delilah laughed like she knew something I didn't. “Oh, Six. You just don't get it do you?”
“Get what? Why you laughing at me?”
“She's into you, honey. It's too late. You're done for. Ain't no way you're getting rid of her unless you do something real bad. And I mean real bad.”
What the fuck? “Worse than killing an eighteen-year-old girl?”
Suddenly Dee got pissed and slammed her hands on the bar. “You did not pull that fucking trigger, Six. Weasel is the one in the shit for that. He's the one who should pay.” She was right.
But I had been there too and I hadn't stopped him. “Say what you want, Dee, but I know that having her here isn't helping me. I want her gone but I don't know how to tell her without hurting her.”
Someone cleared their throat behind me and my stomach dropped to the floor. I spun around and was greeted by the beautiful, glistening, brown eyes of my Chloe dancer.
A deep sadness had settled on her features. “It's okay. Heard you loud and clear. I'll be going now.”
Awww shit. Hello mouth here's my size thirteen foot. “Chloe, no, I—”
She shook her head to stop me. “Don't. I've said all along I don't need your protection or your pity. Just do me one last decent thing and call a cab for me...please?”
I heaved a defeated sigh. “I'll take you home. Just let me get dressed, okay?”
“You've been drinking. I can get a cab.”
I held up my hands. “I only had a sip. I'm good. Wait here.”
Realizing I had inadvertently solved my own problem I jogged up the stairs to the end room and pulled on my clothes as quickly as I could. I caught sight of my reflection and shook my head at the bearded idiot staring back at me. “Asshole.”
When I arrived at the main bar area, Chloe was sitting on a bar stool chatting to Delilah who was patting her arm, I'm guessing trying to comfort her. She glanced up at me and I smiled. She didn't smile back and I don't really know why but my stomach knotted at the fact.
I pulled on my leather jacket and cut and sheepishly walked over to Chloe. “Come on. I'll take you home now.” I handed her my helmet and then—remembering her look of disapproval the last time I had ridden with her without my own helmet—I grabbed Cain's off the bar, put it on and fastened the strap under my chin.
Once outside, I straddled the bike and held out my hand for her but being the stubborn, frustrating woman that she is. She ignored my offer of help and clambered on behind me...pantiless.
“Hold on tight.” I called as I turned on and revved the engine. I felt her hands come about my waist and link in front of me. As I glanced down I got that knot in my guts again. Was this it? Was this the last time? I had to face the fact that I'd wanted her out of my life and she had heard me say so. The only problem was she had gotten the whole situation wrong. This was for her own good. It wasn't what I wanted for me. It was what I wanted for her.
I spotted Cain over by the open gates and nodded at him as I passed by and began to pull out into the road. The gates were closed and locked behind me and I checked around to make sure there were no unwelcome watchers hanging around. Thankfully the coast was clear and we set off at speed toward Chloe's apartment.
Eventually I pulled the bike to a halt in the parking lot and removed my helmet quickly so I could speak to her before she inevitably stormed off out of my life for good. Just as I expected she slipped off the bike and removed the helmet before thrusting it into my arms without speaking and almost winding me in the process.
I grasped her arm as anger at myself boiled beneath my skin. “Chloe, what you heard back there—”
She struggled trying to get her arm free. “Let go of me you bastard!”
“Whoa, hey, don't cuss at me woman. You know I hate that.”
She sneered at me. “Yeah? Well I don't fucking care what you fucking hate. Now let go and fuck off!”
I gritted my teeth and yanked her toward me so that her face was only inches from mine. “You're gonna listen to me first.”
With an edge of bitter calm to her voice she leaned in closer until her nose was almost touching mine her eyes wide and wild. “I don't have to do what you say. Now let me go or I swear I'll scream.”
Seriously, I think I have a major mental problem or something because seeing her angry like that just made me want her more. I loved the strength she showed even when she was scared or emotional. She was sexy as hell and where most girls would have cowered away from a guy like me when I was angry she didn't. She had balls if you know what I mean.
I flared my nostrils and spoke through clenched teeth. “No. You're right. You don't have to do what I say because you're not mine. But if you were...”
She snorted in my face. “You'd what? Beat me into submission? What a big, big man you are, Six. So very tough. I'm sure you'd make your momma proud.”
Fucking ouch! “You bitch,” I growled.
She seemed taken aback by my words and her expression suddenly changed. She knew it had been a low blow. But she carried on trying to put up a front. “Damn right I'm a bitch. And don't you forget it.”
I released her arm and turned away as she stepped back. “Just go. I need to get out of here before...”
“Before what?” Why the hell was she still standing there? And why the hell did she sound so fucking mousy all of a sudden?
I glanced over at her and sighed. “All I have ever done is try to protect you. What you heard back there...that was me trying to save you a truck load of heartache. You didn't hear what I said before that, Chloe.”
She stepped toward me again. “W-what did you say before?”
“Just go home, okay? You're better off letting me leave now before you get attached to me and I fucking break your heart like I break everyone's heart.”
“I hate to drop this bombshell on you but... I'm kinda already attached to you.”
Oh. Fuck.
Chapter Nineteen
Chloe
I hated myself for talking about him ‘making his momma proud’ in such a cruel way. I hated how I had a tendency to speak before thinking. And I hated the way I had clearly hurt him with my words.
He hung both helmets over the handlebars and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Don't say you're attached to me, Chloe, okay? Just don't. You know nothing about me or about my past for that matter. You don't know the shit I've done or the way I've behaved. You know this fucking weedy ass character that I've become since that night at The Fox Hub. That's not the real me. I'm not some whiny fucking pussy. Jeez I've been acting like a fucking doe-eyed teenager. But it's not real. None of that's me. I'm an evil bastard. And you'd do well to remember that. What you think you know is all bullshit.”
“You're not evil, Six. Okay, so you've done things that were necessary at the time. But you're not alone in regrett
ing things in your past. But it doesn't mean you have to let history repeat itself. No one has to allow that to happen. We can stop it because it's about how we change ourselves for the future. I can tell you don't like certain things about yourself and...if that's the case then do something about it. And just so you know, I happen to like the guy I've known since that night at The Fox Hub. I don't consider him a whiny pussy. Far from it. I consider him a hero actually. Just because a man shows he cares doesn't make him weak.”
I stepped forward again and stroked my hand delicately down his gorgeous, bearded face. “If you don't want me then just say you don't want me. But don't push me away out of some misplaced desire to protect me from you and your life.”
He turned his face into my hand and locked his gaze on me. “I just don't want you getting hurt because of me.” His voice was a gravelly whisper.
“See...if you were evil you wouldn't care about any of that.” I smiled trying to lighten the dark cloud that had descended over us.
He clambered off his bike and held out his hand. “Come on. I'll walk you to the main entrance.”
I took his hand and we made our way to the door in silence. I turned to face him in the hope of kissing him goodnight, but he gripped me and lifted me from the ground crushing his mouth into mine with a passionate ferocity that stole my breath and I wrapped my legs around him. Whatever the hell this was between us was so easy to spark.
He groaned as he rocked his pelvis into my naked flesh and the friction made me gasp. I'd completely forgotten that he'd ruined my underwear in his desperation to be inside me and here we were outside the main entrance to my building, making out in a very public place, but I really didn't care. All that I cared about was making him see that I didn't want to eject him from my life, regardless of the fact that it would probably have been the most sensible thing to do. But I was done being sensible. I wanted him so desperately that I was willing to risk anything to be with him.
Six: Company of Sinners MC #2 Page 11