Chapter Twenty-Three
Six
Watching Chloe board that bus was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And my final blow to her wasn't something I'd planned. I felt like a total bastard. But in reality, it was for the best. I had known all along that I wasn't worthy of her. But seeing her leave caused an ache deep inside me like nothing I've ever experienced. I'd never been in love so I didn't know what the hell it felt like, but if this was anything close then I didn't fucking want any part of it.
Thankfully Melody's funeral happened peacefully. Loki's Legion showed some respect, at least for the day. It was the most heart-breaking scene. Bikers from CoSMiC's neighboring state charters attended and took part in the funeral cortège. “Set Fire to the Third Bar” by Snow Patrol, Melody's favorite band, was played inside the church and I had to hold Cain up to stop him from collapsing with grief. The haunting words stuck in my head and in my selfish moments I could relate them to my own situation.
But this wasn't about me.
Rosa tried hard to console her big brother, but Cain was changed irrevocably by Melody's death. He became so bitter...understandably. I really felt for the poor kid and stepped into the role of big brother again temporarily when she needed me. She cried on me many times and my heart broke for her. It was like she wasn't only grieving for Melody but for Cain too.
After the service, he spent hours sitting at Mel's graveside drinking himself unconscious and talking to her. He was walking a fine line between sanity and the abyss and try as I might I couldn't seem to ease his pain. Colt had tried to get me to convince him to leave town, just as I'd convinced Chloe, but no matter what I said to Cain he wouldn't co-operate. He insisted that he was staying put and that vengeance was at the top of his list of priorities. He was planning all manner of gruesome retaliations and both Colt and I knew he was dumb enough to carry them out. He didn't care if he lived or died. But thankfully the club did.
Only a matter of days after the funeral, both Cain and Rosa were taken by Loki's Legion. Cain was beaten to within an inch of his life and when we managed to locate them we were lucky that they both weren't dead. Rosa was so traumatized after what she had witnessed the bastards doing to Cain that everyone was worried she'd have a fucking breakdown.
Loki's Legion had made it clear that the 'war' wasn't over and this had been a taste of what was to come and so Colt had made some very difficult decisions. I won't bore you with the details right now but suffice it to say that shit got a helluva lot worse before it even began to get better.
For weeks I played “Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns” over and over on repeat until I just about drove the whole club insane. And yes, looking back I was acting like a fucking love-sick teenager. In the end I resorted to an iPod so they'd all quit their moaning and I'd sit there in the bar surrounded by people but feeling about as alone as any man possibly could.
But such was my life. I'd made it that way.
At one point I had even tried to step down from my role as VP of CoSMiC, but Colt had somehow managed to convince me that I was needed. That I was an essential link in the chain or some other fucking dumb-ass metaphorical cliché bullshit.
Club girls were constantly trying to turn me on by walking around the damn place half naked. Rubbing their tits in my face and always dropping stuff on the floor in front of me so they had to bend and pick them up. Oh yeah, I had lots of asses and tits in my face. But they weren't the ass or tits that I wanted. For some stupid reason Dee had a chrome pole installed in the bar area of the place. For parties so she told me. She seemed to think that my avoidance of The Fox Hub was connected to the Loki's Legion situation, but she was so wrong.
On the first of the so called party nights—that were a feeble attempt to take our minds of the real hell that was going on—I got so drunk I could hardly stand. One of the girls, Selena, got up and started to cavort around the damn pole...badly. Her bleach blonde hair was like straw and her tits were fake. And to top it off she couldn't fucking dance a step. After putting up with the continuous encouragement from the guys to get 'Nina' out of my system and fuck some other women, I snapped.
Shoving off the advances of yet another bitch who promised to rock my world and make me feel sooo good, I stood and threw my beer bottle at the wall causing it to shatter into tiny fragments just like my damn patience. “Would you all just butt the fuck out of my life.” The music stopped and the whole room fell silent. I pointed at the poor Nina substitute. “She is nothing like her. You hear me? Nothing! Chloe is fucking gone, okay?” I smacked myself in the head a little too hard. “I mean Nina. Nina is gone. Aww shit. She's fucking gone and none of these bitches will ever take her place, you hearing me? Now leave me the fuck alone.”
I staggered up the stairs to the end room and virtually dragged Weasel and his two sluts out of there—how the hell the ugly fucker got so many women I just don't know—before slamming the door and collapsing onto the bed.
My dreams were plagued with visions of Chloe beneath me, and the way her soft body yielded to me as her chocolate brown irises locked on mine. My own mind was intent on torturing me to the point where I awoke on more than one occasion with the taste of her on my tongue.
I visited Hank's coffee shop and discovered that the redhead I'd seen leaving Chloe's apartment worked there. She was Ellie. On my third visit I decided to bite the bullet and ask where Chloe had ended up, and if she was okay. Understandably Ellie wasn't forthcoming with any information. Couldn't blame her, but I wasn't happy about it. It served me right. After all I had told Chloe not to contact me. That I didn't want to know where she was.
Idiot.
She was my first waking thought and my last before I slept.
I was obsessed.
And it was a very unhealthy obsession that showed no sign of abating.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chloe
In the time that had passed since I left Rose Acres, so much had changed. I had returned to my home state of Nebraska. Thanks to an old family friend, I had managed to locate my mom in Trenton, a small village in Hitchcock County and she and I had managed to work things out. She was dealing with a lot of guilt connected to Brett and I. It was good that I had returned home when I had. It turned out she had left Brett several times, once I had gone, when he'd gotten violent through drinking. He always managed to guilt her into returning, but the final straw came when she found him in bed with another woman in her house. The creepy thing was that apparently the woman had looked just like me. She said all he talked about was me and when he got drunk he used to smack her around and blame her for driving me away.
Go figure.
I never told my mom the truth about what happened at my apartment that awful night. But from what she told me it sounded like he'd gotten involved in some very dark stuff since I left. Heroin and cocaine played a major part in him getting involved with Loki's Legion. He’d begun running drugs for them. My mom had realized there was something seriously wrong when his appearance began to drastically change and he lost weight. She had moved from my home town of Dalton to Trenton, a few miles east to get away from him. She said she could never go back to our old house after what had happened. Especially knowing that I had left because she hadn't believed me.
It took a hell of a lot of tears and fights for us to get through it, but we were working things out and it was good to have a mom again. Albeit one I had to care for and not the other way around.
Unfortunately, Six was constantly on my mind, but it was over. It was something I'd had to deal with. I'd contacted Ellie by text message as I was on the bus to Colorado just to let her know I was okay but needed to get my head straight and then a few months after I moved away I made contact again. This time by phone...
“My God Chloe I thought that ass-hat biker had murdered you or something. So much shit has happened since you left. I'm so relieved that you're okay. It's been awful not hearing from you.”
“No, I'm fine, Ellie. Just had to get away.
So...what's been going on?”
“Oh. My. God, Chloe. A girl, Rosa I think her name was, went missing out of the blue. She was related to the Company of Sinners bikers...anyway, it happened after a funeral for the wife of one of the Sinners. The wife was found dead in an empty house. That alone was awful but then the guy who lost his wife lost his sister too! Rosa who disappeared was his sister. No trace. Just gone. And then, the poor guy, the brother and husband, disappeared too! Seriously I just don't get this place. There were so many rumors flying around you had to dodge them in the damn street. Honestly, it's been like crazy town.”
Frick, she must mean Cain and his sister were the ones who went missing. I didn't bother to correct her that Melody and Cain weren't married. It seemed less important as the conversation went on. Shit. I'd gone to the same school as Rosa when I'd finished off my high school diploma. She was a lot younger than me but I remember her as being a quiet, solitary girl.
Clearly Loki's Legion had been hard at work trying to ruin the lives of the CoSMiC crew. Then the thought hit me that Six might have come to some harm and my heart stuttered, falling over itself causing palpitations in my chest.
With a knot in my stomach I dared to ask, “So... H-have you seen Six around at all?” There was a long pause down the line and a chill traveled my spine.
She sighed as if reluctant to tell me. “Umm...yeah. He's been around. He came in to Hank's a while ago and asked me if I'd heard from you at all. Asked where you were and if you were okay. But I told him nothing, Chloe. You don't need that guy in your life. The shit those motorcycle gangs have caused is un...believable. They're a law unto themselves. No one wants them here...well actually...things have calmed down now. The Sinners ran Loki's Legion out of the area and so things aren't so bad around here but there are rumors of a reprisal so who the hell knows what'll happen. You're so much better out of the way, honey, really you are. But I would love to come visit you. You should tell me where you're staying. Are you back home in Nebraska?”
I was listening but not really hearing her. I had lost concentration after she had told me that Six had asked her about me. He must have gone out of his way to find her seeing as he had only seen her leaving my apartment and had no clue who she was or where she worked. Unless he'd followed her, true to his instinctual stalking tendencies. Some things never changed. I smiled to myself as I remembered him trying to explain to me how he knew where I lived.
I was completely pre-occupied now. “How did he seem?”
“That Six guy? Oh I don't know. Like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He wasn't so happy when I told him he could forget getting any information out of me. I thought he was going to cry. But of course I was imagining that. I mean guys like him don't have any emotions right? Heartless bastards.” Her ire rang clearly down the line and I imagined my huge, dirty-blonde haired biker feeling some kind of grief at losing me. But like Ellie had pointed out, those guys were too hard to feel such things.
At least that's what I kept telling myself for the next eleven months.
I'd moved in with my mom in the house she was renting and things had settled down into a kind of routine. I had bought an old car just as Six had wanted and had even changed my appearance, deciding to go back to my own chocolate brown hair color. I'd gotten myself a job in the local library in a little town called Hallowed Springs. It was a great little place close to where I lived with my mom when I was a kid. I found that I loved the peace and quiet of the library. Being surrounded by books filled with alternate lives and dreams was a stark but happy contrast to being surrounded by lecherous, drooling patrons. In fact, it was the complete antithesis of the club I had worked in before and dancing scantily clad around a pole as licentious men ogled my curves was becoming a distant memory. Thankfully.
The one thing that wasn't a distant memory was Six.
I'd been on a couple dates with a nice guy I had met at night school where I had been doing a literature course. His name was Dean and he was really sweet. Handsome in a normal, no tattoos, cropped short hair, straight-laced kind if way. But he didn't get my motor running like Six had. We hadn't had sex yet and I could tell it was becoming an issue.
The only orgasms I had were with the help of my vibrator and my imagination and they all involved a man who was the complete opposite of Dean. A man whose beard scratched my inner thighs as he went down on me. A man who could make me come so easily because he knew my body so well...knew me so well. Yes, Six was a regular player in my fantasies.
Every time Dean and I got close to heavy petting I broke free, made excuses about not being ready and went home to fantasize about Six's tongue on my clit and his fingers working me into a frenzy.
Way to go on the moving on thing, Chloe.
Months passed by and life was okay. The Six shaped hole inside me was still there and I often wondered about what would have become of us if Jagger had never assaulted me at The Fox Hub. Would Six and I have even met? But I vowed that I would never return to Rose Acres. I knew time was a great healer and that some day I would be able to look back and feel nothing. It was going to take a while but thankfully I had no reason to ever see him again and I knew that because he had no idea where I was therefore there was no risk of him showing up.
It was a double edged sword that only gave me some relief.
Thursdays were always a busy day at the library and on this particular day I had been rushed off my feet until two in the afternoon when I had finally managed to catch a break.
I was sitting out back at one of the picnic tables flicking through one of the Librarian's Monthly magazines when an ad caught my eye. It was for a Certification Training Program in Library Science. I had become an avid reader again since moving back with my mom and was totally caught up in the language and stories of British literature. The thought of training as a Library Technician officially got me intrigued and I was wondering if my boss would be willing to put me forward for the scheme. The course that was being advertised included an element of work placement and if I could convince my boss Robert to fight in my corner, perhaps this could be the career move I'd always hoped for.
Sitting in Robert's office, I nervously knotted my fingers in my lap as he talked to his superiors on the phone. The tone of the conversation wasn't filling me with a great deal of confidence thanks to the number of times Rob had said, “Oh that's a shame,” and his expression had gotten sadder as the call went on.
Eventually he hung up and laced his fingers together on the desk. “Gosh, Chloe, I hate to break this to you but they won't allow you to be put forward by me. There are no available course places in the state of Nebraska. It's already full to capacity here. I'm so sorry. You're such a good worker and you really do have a natural aptitude for the work but...” He paused and rubbed his chin frowning as if he was unwilling to impart the next snippet of information. “At the moment there are only places available in Colorado and Utah. And Colorado is on the verge of being at capacity too. It looks like you may have to wait a year or so.”
I wanted to cry. I'd been so excited about the prospect of doing something with my life at last that I hadn't considered the possibility of it not being able to go ahead.
I nodded as I let the news sink in. “Okay...What if I were to apply for the course in Utah?”
“Well, I would be very sad to see you leave but the guy I was just speaking with did say that he would be willing to consider an application to transfer.”
I perked up a little and smiled. “Okay, so I'll look into it.”
He shook his head. “I'm afraid there's only one location partaking in the work placement portion in Utah. And you would need to decide very quickly.”
I nodded. Okay so Utah wouldn't be so bad. I'd lived in the state before. “Okay. And where is that?”
“It's a small town called Rose Acres.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Six
I've said it before, so excuse me for sounding like a broken record, but loneliness is
the shittiest thing to feel. Especially when you're surrounded by people but they just don't get you. That was me. Melody's death had been the catalyst for so much change. And most of it was unwelcome. Especially the fact that Cain had been gone for months and so had Rosa.
And of course Chloe was gone too.
Once the issues with Loki's Legion were supposedly resolved, I wanted to make another attempt to contact Chloe. Just to say sorry for the shit I had put her through. And for my treatment of her as she left. But once again her friend had refused to tell me anything and I still couldn't blame her. Rose Acres had seen plenty of suffering and pain on account of the Sinners and the Legion. It was no wonder that Ellie had been reluctant for me to contact her friend and risk involving her in it all again. She had escaped after all which is exactly what I wanted...except it turns out it was the last damn thing I wanted. What I did want was Chloe.
I think a part of me always kept one eye on the road just in case she turned up again.
But of course she didn't.
Life is fucking hard, man. Months and months after Cain was gone folks were saying he was most likely dead. I knew what had happened to him up to a point, but I'd expected him to turn up again. When he hadn't after so long I was beginning to wonder if the rumors were true. With no word from him there was little else to think. He'd been my best buddy and having to make him disappear had been fucking heart wrenching. Especially so soon after Chloe had gone too. But it had been the only way to save him from the bastards who were intent on ruining his life and come to think of it to save him from himself too.
I'd decided to take off for a while, out of state, to have a change of scene and clear my head. Most things were prepared, but I went into Rose Acres to grab a few things I needed for the trip. While I was there I called in to get a take-out coffee from Hank's, but Ellie wasn't in so I couldn't bombard her with questions about Chloe. Instead, I set off walking back home to set my travel plans into motion. Colt was back to his usual happy self and all felt right with the world. Well maybe not exactly right, but somehow calmer. I was heading back to my apartment to pick up my back pack and then I was going to take off eastern to Colorado. It was the destination of the bus that I had put Chloe on and although I had no clue if she had even stayed there. I felt compelled to go. The stupid thing is that Colorado is not some little ass town. It's a huge damn state. The chances of me bumping into her were slim to none even if she was there. But I needed to get away and so Colorado seemed as good a place as any for my road trip.
Six: Company of Sinners MC #2 Page 14