The lyrics floated through the air and wrapped themselves around my heart. Pure, heartfelt emotion vibrated from Austin Winkler's voice as he sang of saying a final goodbye to someone he loved. The words expressed my own innermost feelings so well but I wondered... Was this truly how Six felt? Had I gotten him completely wrong after all this time? Was I making a huge mistake?
No.
No I can't think that way. I don't want the life he leads. I don't want the violence or the pain. I want peace. Normality.
Normal is good. Isn't it?
I kept my eyes closed and tried hard not to touch him as I danced. It should have felt strange—weird even—dancing in my living room where the coffee table usually sat. But it didn't. It felt right. Dancing again made me feel almost whole. Alive. Healed. Like a part of me was returning. A part that I hadn't realized I had lost until now. I swayed and let the music fill my mind. I felt every single word as I moved and as the song ended I glanced up from the floor to see his gaze locked on me.
He was leaning back into the sofa, his hands resting on his thighs. His shirtless chest rising and falling rapidly. Jaw clenched and eyes glistening. What was he thinking? Raw, unfettered emotion emanated from him but I couldn't figure out what it was. Was is anger, lust, regret?
As I was trying to figure it out he stood and stepped toward me holding out his hand. I took it and he helped me to my feet. I wasn't quite breathless but when he pulled me into his arms I stopped breathing for a few seconds and just let him hold me. His heart was racing against my chest and I bit down on my lip to stop myself from doing or saying something I would later regret.
“That was beautiful. Thank you, Chloe dancer.” He kissed the top of my head, released me and turned to walk through the door to the bathroom.
I slumped onto the chair by the window, exhaled and tried to catch my breath again. All of my energy and emotion was sapped. I didn't know what to feel any more. What to think. Should I say something? When he returned to the room a few moments later he was fully dressed.
“I should go. I've taken up enough of your time.” He turned up the corners of his mouth but his smile was tinged with a deep sadness. “Thanks for being a friend, Chloe. This...this has meant a lot to me.” His voice was low and guarded like an unbreakable wall had appeared around his heart.
I cleared my throat and nodded, trying to pluck up the courage to speak. “You're welcome.” It was lame. But it was all I could manage.
I was frozen to the spot. Unable to move for fear of running into his arms and giving in all over again. But deep inside I knew that wasn't what I needed and that it would only end in tears.
He walked to the door and wrapped his fingers around the handle. Without turning he spoke again. “Tell Zak he'd better be good to you. And that I hope he knows how damn lucky he is.”
And with that he opened the door and left.
For the last time.
Six
Cain lay there sleeping. It was just before six in the morning and I wasn't supposed to be there. But I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts. My mind was a dark place to be at the best of times but right then... The light in my life had been completely extinguished as I'd said goodbye to the one person I'd hoped to spend it with.
Luckily I'd been able to slip the night guard a fifty. I guessed he would've let me in for free considering the terrified widening of his eyes when I appeared before the short, thin, older man. But I wasn't about to take advantage. Not anymore.
It was time to rethink everything about myself.
I sat beside the hospital bed, elbows resting on my knees as the machines around my unconscious best friend bleeped quietly. The volume presumably turned low to aid a relaxing night for the staff and other patients. The bandage on his chest was due to be changed and the red stain showing through did nothing to increase my hope of him getting through this.
But he has to.
I heard someone behind me and I turned to see Rosa, Cain's kid sister. Her eyes were rimmed with red and her skin was pallid. I stood to hug her and she crumpled into my chest, sobbing.
“I can't lose him again, Six. I just can't.”
I stroked her hair as my eyes began to sting but again. I swallowed down the emotion fighting for release and kissed her head. “Hey, he'll pull through. He has to. Who else am I gonna annoy the heck out of?”
She gazed up at me with hope in her eyes. “You really think he will?”
I forced a smile and nodded. “I know he will, kiddo.”
She lowered her face again. “I can't help feeling this is all my fault. If I hadn't met Tyler.”
I cupped her pretty face, tilting it up so she had to meet my eyes and I shook my head. “Hindsight is a wonderful thing, angel.”
“I just can't believe he was involved with them. I feel so stupid.” She uttered the words through gritted teeth.
I shrugged. “Come on now. You weren't to know. Love blinds people to the point where we see what we want to see.”
“He seemed so...normal. I even met his older brother, Zak. He seemed nice too. Again...so, you know, ordinary.”
Alarm bells began to ring when her the name and my heart rate picked up pace. I pulled a chair up and gestured for her to sit. “Zak, huh? What did he look like?”
She didn't seem fazed by my out-of-the-blue question which I was relieved about. “Um... Blue eyes, like Tyler. Longish, shaggy hair. Goatee beard. Crooked teeth.”
I calmed. He sounded nothing like the Zak Chloe was seeing. Just a coincidence, asshole. Relief flooded my veins. Shit I have to stop looking for reasons to hate the guy she's chosen. It's stupid.
Gotta let it go, Six.
“Look, I'm gonna go and get some sleep, angel. You okay to stay here alone until Colt gets in?”
I knew that security had been stepped up in light of the shooting and there was no way any of the Loki's Legion bastards were getting into the hospital... unless I put one of them in here. And that was a very tempting idea.
She gazed up at me. “Sure. I'll be fine. You do look tired. But then again I think we all are just now.”
I reached out and squeezed her shoulder. Poor kid didn't need this shit. “You text me or call if there's any change in his condition, okay angel?”
She nodded and smiled sweetly. “You've always called me angel. I sometimes wish it was my real name.”
I ruffled her blue streaked hair. “It always will be to me.” I blew her a kiss and left.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chloe
Thankfully the day that followed Six's final visit to my home was a busy one at the library. My mind was filled with book recommendations, new customer applications and replacing a mountain of books back to their rightful places. I needed to be kept busy. Every time there was a lull my mind wandered back to the events of the previous evening. The look on Six's face when I caught sight of him throughout my dance. The V that formed between his brows and the sadness that emanated from his very being. An air of defeat. He'd given up and although that fact should have meant relief for me it had achieved anything but.
I was entering some new client data on to the computer when someone cleared their throat and I glanced up. “Oh, hi. W-what are you doing here?”
My visitor smiled widely. “I figured it was about time I joined this fine establishment. I think a little reading would be good for me. Don't you? I used to read when I was younger. It was mainly bedtime stories for Tyler but... Anyway, what do you need from me?”
I scrunched my brow. “I'm sorry what?”
He smiled again. “To join the library. What information do you need from me?”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Oh, of course. Duh! I need a form of picture ID and something with your address on please. And I need you to complete this form.” I attached the pink sheet to a clip board and handed it over.
He took the board from me and then reached into his breast pocket. “Sure thing, beautiful. Look...I wanted to apologize again for getting o
ut of hand the other night. I don't know what came over me. But it won't happen again, okay?” He handed me his drivers license and gave me a heart melting grin.
I felt my cheeks heat as I took the card from him. “It's okay. Forget about it.” I glanced down at the photo on the ID. “Wow, you look so...different.”
He sighed and ran his hands over his short, neat hair. “Sheesh, I know right? Urgh. What was I thinking? I mean, who has a goatee these days?”
His cheeks had colored and I found it quite endearing. “Oh I don't know. I think you rocked it actually.”
That wide, handsome grin appeared again. “Aww shucks. You're too kind. But I know I looked like a dweeb.”
I copied down the information I needed onto a fresh member’s card and handed it back. “So, how's Tyler? Still wanting to start his own band?”
The smile left his face and he frowned for a moment but no sooner had the look appeared than it was gone. “Oh, you know what kids are like. He's a handful right now. The less said the better, if you know what I mean.”
“Ah. No worries. Kids, huh?”
“Yes indeed. Anyway, what time are you done here today? I thought I could maybe bring some groceries and cook for you.”
“Oh. I...I don't know.”
“Look, Chloe. Excuse my language but I was an asshole last time. I won't be that way again. I got carried away.” He leaned in lowered his voice to a whisper. “I find you insanely hot and you can't blame a guy for trying. But you said no and I respect that. I'll wait until you're ready. Cross my heart.” He made the sign of the cross in the center of his chest.
I pursed my lips and contemplated his words. “So...what would you cook?”
“I was thinking something Italian maybe. Do you like pasta? I make a mean tagliatelle.” He stuck out his lower lip and fluttered his eyelashes causing me to giggle.
“Okay, deal. I get off here at six. Come to my apartment at seven?”
“Sounds great. I'll even bring wine.” His face was alive with enthusiasm and I was touched by how eager he was to make amends. “Now. Where do I find crime novels?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Crime novels huh? Consider yourself a regular Sherlock Holmes do you?”
“Maybe not Holmes but...well I don't like to brag but I'm an expert with a flashlight.” He winked and once again I giggled like a silly school girl. Sheesh, I'm going to have to get a handle on that habit.
I pointed Zak in the direction of the crime novels and went back to my work. Around a half hour later he checked a couple books out and left, reminding me before he did that he would see me at seven.
The library manager let me leave early, seeing as we'd had such a manic day. As I was leaving the library I spotted Ellie across the street, she waved and gestured that we should go for coffee. I checked my watch and gave the thumbs up.
After jogging across to her we hugged and made our way to Hank's. Ellie pushed open the door but it disappeared from her grip, almost causing her to land flat on her face. I glanced up to find a familiar dirty-blonde haired biker holding a takeout cup with a brown paper bag dangling from his fingers in one hand and the door for us to enter in the other.
“Shit, I'm sorry about that. You okay?” he asked Ellie as she cussed him out.
“Maybe you should watch who's coming through the damn door in future.” She huffed melodramatically wiping her clothing down.
He cringed at me and widened his eyes and I had to stifle a laugh. Nodding his head in mock seriousness he replied, “Yeah, sorry. You're right about that. And I will.” He turned his attention back to me. “Hi, Chloe. How're you doing?”
I smiled and nodded as my cheeks heated. “I'm good thanks. You?”
“Oh, you know. Hospital visits, lack of sleep. The usual. All good.” There was a note of sarcasm to his voice but I chose to ignore it.
“How's Cain?”
“I'm just on my way over there. The second surgery went well and he's showing signs of improvement. Had a call from his sister earlier.”
I sighed. “Oh that's a relief. I'm so glad to hear that.”
“You...um...could stop by the hospital later maybe? You know, if you're free.”
I cringed and spoke without really thinking. “Oh, sorry I'm having dinner with Zak later.” As soon as the words left my mouth I clamped it shut.
He nodded and a crease formed between his eyebrows a look of hurt apparent in his features. “Oh yeah, sure. No problem. Enjoy. I'd better be going.” He raised his hand in a kind of wave and walked away quickly as if he couldn't wait to escape my company.
“Shit, Chloe, sexual tension much?” Ellie had no clue how off she was with her observation.
We ordered coffees and slipped into a booth opposite each other. Her eyes were fixed on me. “Come on. Spill it. Something's going on here. What is it?”
I shrugged. “He's finally agreed to let me move on.”
“Well you could look happier about it. Zak is gorgeous and so sweet. Pass him my way if you don't want him.”
I hadn't told her everything about Zak. I knew that if I told her he had been a little forceful the other night she would be angry and worried about me. And seeing as I was convinced it was a one off incident she didn't need to know.
I shrugged. “Yeah, Zak is sweet. But Six...the chemistry...” I blew out through pursed lips.
“I hear you, honey. I really do. But you and I both know that the biker is no good for you. He's dangerous. You don't need the drama. And Zak is so...”
“Normal.” I finished off her sentence and she nodded profusely.
Holding her hands up she pointed at me. “That's it. He's normal. Normal is good. Normal doesn't get you half killed.”
What the hell? I scrunched my brow as my desire to defend Six fought for dominance over every other emotion. “Ellie, he never got me 'half killed'.”
“Not yet he didn't. But look at what happens with the people who get mixed up with those people.”
There was no arguing with her so I decided to change the subject. “Zak's cooking me Italian food later.”
A wide grin spread across her pretty face. “Oh really? So, is tonight going to be the night?”
Rolling my eyes at my friend’s insinuation, I took a sip of coffee before responding. “Ellie, not everything is about sex you know.”
“Not everything. But I bet he's ripped under his nice, clean cut clothing, huh?”
I took another gulp of my coffee and checked my watch. “Look I should go. I want to shower before Zak comes over.”
She reached over and patted my forearm. “I bet you do. Make sure you wear some nice lingerie. You never know your luck.”
I tilted my head back in exasperation and glanced at the ceiling briefly. “See you soon, Ellie.”
“You sure will. And I want to know all about those abs.” She called after me as I left the coffee shop.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Six
Cain's vital signs were definitely improving and my confidence that he would recover was on the up. My flying visit to the hospital had simply been to pick up Cain's sister and take her home. I'd been happy to see a bit of color in the handsome bastard's face and I looked forward to the day when I could poke fun at him for shit all over again.
I handed Rosa a helmet and we climbed onto the bike. The early evening air was humid and thick and I couldn't wait to get home and shower. When I say home I mean to the club obviously. We were technically still on lockdown although things were much quieter since Cain's shooting. I was beginning to think Loki's Legion realized they'd crossed a line and had gone into hiding.
Colt had announced the decision he had made to ensure Cain and Rosa's safety once my best bud was on his feet again. The thought of him being so far away again made my insides ache. What would I do without him around? But then again, him being thousands of miles away would mean he was still around, as in alive.
And that meant far more than anything else.
As we rode to
ward the club Rosa clung onto me. Her arms didn't quite circle my waist and she clung onto my cut for dear life. I didn't ride too fast with my precious cargo and as we passed through Rose Acres I spotted Zak, Chloe's new boyfriend, carrying groceries in the direction of her apartment. A familiar sinking sensation occurred in my gut and I reminded myself I was moving on. She was no longer my concern. If he wanted to cook her dinner, then so be it. Nothing I could do about it. She had chosen him.
That was that.
Weasel opened the metal gates as I pulled the bike up to the compound. He secured them again once we were inside. Rosa climbed off and removed her helmet. A puzzled expression on her face.
“You okay, angel?” I asked after I had removed my own helmet and swung my leg over the huge hunk of metal.
“Huh? Oh yeah...yeah fine. Just tired is all.”
“It's early but maybe you just need to rest. Go and grab something to eat from the kitchen and get on upstairs. Sleep will do you good.” I told her like the pseudo big brother I was.
“I think I'll skip the food and go straight to bed.”
I flung my arm over her shoulder and she nuzzled into my chest as we made our way inside.
Rosa slipped her slender arms around my body and hugged me tight. “Thanks for being there for me, Six. It means such a lot.”
I kissed her forehead. “That's what big brothers are for, angel,” I told her. Her responding smile was warm and filled with love and I watched as she hugged Colt before making her way upstairs.
Delilah was sitting at the bar and so I went over to join her. “Aren't you at the wrong side, Dee?”
Six: Company of Sinners MC #2 Page 20