“No, Jen… you don’t… you don’t mean that.” I rasped as she screwed up her nose whilst she stared straight into my soul and burnt it right inside of me, the fierce internal fire searing my lungs as she continued with each of her punishing words.
“Yes, Ethan, I do. I hate you, I hate every single fucking thing you have ever done but you know what? I hate you for all the things we hurt Kyle for. I hate you because you make me hate myself. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!”
I stumbled backwards as I shook my head at her. “Baby, please…”
“Don’t call me that! Don’t ever call me that again. Get the fuck out!” she yelled as she launched her cup at me.
It hit the top of my head, coffee spilling over me as it bounced off and smashed against the edge of the table. She picked up the bottle of beer I had luckily finished and that retraced the route the cup had taken, rebounding off my head and smashing against the worktop this time.
Romeo came up behind me and grabbed my arm as Zoe ran over to Jen. “Come on, Boss. Let her deal. Let her calm down.”
I shook my head at him, my face still showing my astonishment at her words but he nodded gently, “Come on, mate.”
“Romeo, she… she hates me.” I stuttered out as he led me to his car and eased me in, my shock numbing my movements and my brain.
“She doesn’t, Boss; she’s just angry and hurting. Give her space and time and I promise she’ll look differently at all this.”
I winced as I heard Jen’s loud screams through the open window, the pain and desolation in her cries tore through me and ripped me apart.
Romeo sped off, revving the engine to drown out the desperate cries of the woman I loved, the woman I would never give up on – the woman who abhorred me.
Chapter 25
The next few weeks dragged by and I hauled my heart around on a piece of rope behind me. I missed Jen with each breath I took; the ache inside me was agony as her eyes haunted me and her hatred consumed me and all I wanted to do was get drunk to eradicate it, to be free from it for a while.
The guys had hauled me into some posh club somewhere but I was so pissed I didn’t give a damn where we were as long as it sold whisky.
We were recognised as soon as we entered and Bulk grinned happily as we were surrounded by women.
“Hey, sugar.” A voiced purred from beside me and I turned to it, taking in the huge tits of the redhead smiling at me. “Boss, right?” she asked as she identified my face.
I nodded at her as I scanned her tight body and her long legs. “You looking for a good time?” she asked almost sweetly.
I stared at her through my hooded eyes, my intoxicated state slowing my movements and my ability to process her words. “No, I’m just looking for my heartache to fuck off.” I laughed as she furrowed her perfectly plucked brows together.
“Oh, baby. You broken-hearted? Did some bitch hurt you?”
I scowled at her, “She’s not a bitch! She’s fucking gorgeous, amazing, bright, sexy, funny… and she bloody hates me…”
Redhead nodded sadly as she patted my arm, “You wanna talk about it?”
I peered down into her face and was surprised at the compassion she showed, her features soft as her eyes soothed me.
I nodded and she steered me towards a booth and gestured to the waitress for a few bottles of bubbly to be sent to us.
She climbed in and patted the space beside her and I virtually fell on top of her as I clambered in after her. She giggled and I grinned at her as I removed my face from her ample chest. “Soft landing” I told her as she giggled again.
She smiled her thanks as the buckets of expensive champagne were placed before us on the table and she filled our glasses eagerly.
I eyed her sceptically. “I’m not that pissed, love. You paying for them?”
She paused with her lips around the edge of her glass and her nervous eyes fixed on mine. “Well, I…”
“You just thought I would because I’m notorious?”
She shrugged and I sighed. “Don’t worry about it” I answered in resignation.
To be honest, I was past caring and she was listening.
Two hours later, I was still droning on and she was still hanging on. “You really love her don’t you?” she sighed heavily. She was plastered, utterly and completely after downing two of the bottles. “If you ask me, sugar, she doesn’t deserve you. You’re a sweet guy and she sounds totally selfish!”
I nodded in agreement, my own drunkenness believing her every word. “You need to move on and bang someone to get her out of your system.”
I smiled at her. “You offering?”
She grinned lazily at me and tipped her head. “Would you like to fuck me, Boss?”
My brows lifted at her directness and I smirked as I cupped her chin and moved towards her.
Her eyes held mine as I brushed my lips over hers then took her hard and feverish under my mouth, my lust and denial consuming each of her breaths and whimpers until she pulled back and fought for air. “That answer your question, sweetheart?”
She smiled sexily and nodded. “Yeah, you wanna get out of here?”
I nodded as I pulled a few hundred out of my wallet and placed it on the waitress’s tray as I took Redhead’s hand and directed her through the mass of sweaty dancers on the dance floor.
We laughed and fought for air as we exploded through the front doors and fell onto the ground in front of someone’s high red heels. High red heels that I had seen before. High red heels that Jen had been wearing when I had fucked her over her desk.
I closed my eyes in distress as Redhead pulled on my hand and yanked me upright, straight in front of Jen, Zoe and a few other women.
“Hello, Ethan” she said calmly as her eyes swept between Redhead and me.
“Jen.” I swallowed harshly as she eyed Redhead with a curl to her lip.
I watched her throat bob as she pushed down her indignation and forced a smile on her lips. “I’ll, uhh; I’ll let you get on with... uhh… Take care, Ethan.” She breathed quietly as her gaze locked with mine.
“Come on, sugar. A girl has can only hold on so long.” Redhead giggled and pulled on my hand guiding me away from Jen.
I could feel the stare of each woman as Redhead wrenched me towards a waiting taxi and as I climbed in after her I turned to look at Jen but she had gone. Zoe hadn’t however and she shook her head sadly at me before she turned and entered the club.
“Fuck!” I hissed out as I banged my fist into the headrest in front of me.
“Oi, anymore and you’re out, mate.” The driver chastised and Redhead frowned at me.
“You okay?”
Was I?
I couldn’t seem to stop hurting Jen, everything I did turned out wrong and she was always there to pick up the pieces of my fuck ups, always there to witness my humiliation and stupid mistakes.
I turned back to Redhead and smiled sadly. “Sorry, sweetheart but I can’t do this.”
“What? Why?” she spat out, her hurt at my words turning into anger at me.
I shrugged as I handed the driver a twenty and told him to make sure she got home safe before I ventured back into the club and went in search of the real woman I wanted.
I spotted her immediately, her face sad and hurt as she walked out of the toilet doors and my heart beat rapidly at what I was about to do but my inebriation gave me courage.
I stepped in front of her and smiled wickedly before I reached into her as she gasped. “Hello, baby” I whispered in her ear as I inhaled her familiar delicious scent.
She gasped again as I fisted her hair and pulled her head back, the fire in her eyes pulsing straight into my dick and turning it to steel.
“I want you, Jen. I fucking need you. I need to be inside you. I need to feel every fucking gorgeous inch of you underneath me and around me.”
Her chest heaved with her own arousal, her eyes now bright but heavy as she fought with herself over my revelation.
I tit
led her head back further and she whimpered at the slight pain as I gripped her hair harder and licked a soft path down from her ear to the corner of her mouth. “You want me, Jen. You want my hard cock sliding into that perfect pussy of yours, filling you and pleasuring you. You need to feel me inside you just as much as I need to feel you grip me tight in your desire.”
Her eyes closed as a slight moan erupted from her throat. “Yes” she whispered against my mouth.
I couldn’t control the groan that forced its way from my chest and into her mouth as I pressed my lips against her soft pink ones. She fought me for a while, her teeth biting as she fisted the material of my shirt but then I felt her submit, her own denial melting under us as she kissed me back just as passionately and fiercely. Her tongue hesitantly swept into my mouth and I caught it with my own and flicked against her.
The groan she emitted choked my cock to a near imminent orgasm and I pulled back as I grabbed her hand and towed her through the club and out into the fresh air before I lured her into the alley behind the building and shoved her up against the wall.
Her arms were already around my neck as she pulled me back into her and took my mouth again. Her hands rose to my hair and she tugged on my band before ploughing her fingers through my locks and yanked my head back.
Her teeth sank into my neck and I groaned at the same time as I hissed through my teeth at her carnal appetite.
“Fuck me, baby. Fuck me hard.” she mumbled as she pulled more of my flesh into her mouth, sucking on it harshly and relentlessly as her fingers tugged at my belt before she released my rock hard cock into the cool air and flicked the tiny ball at the end of my bar sending a shot of white hot pleasure straight up my spine and into my brain as my balls constricted rapidly.
I scrutinised her face, reading the lust and craving in her as I swept my hands up the outside of her dress and bunched it around her hips then I twisted my thumbs in the edge of her thong and ripped them off.
Her gasp vibrated straight through to my dick as he begged me to bury him in her wetness.
“You want me, Jen. You want me hard and brutal?”
“God, yes, I need you to take me rough, Ethan. I need your power and your control to bring me off hard.”
I growled at her plea as I palmed her backside and lifted her until she wrapped those sexy little legs around my waist and I slammed into her firmly.
“Fuck! So… damn good…” I hissed as my cock shouted his delight at being buried to the tip of her. Her warmth sheathed me tightly and magnificently as the girth of my rigid dick stretched her wide and filled her perfect pussy to the hilt.
“Fuck…” she choked out herself as she lifted up and slammed back down on me, her lewd grin firing my hunger for her. “You always feel so good, Ethan” she purred as she clenched her muscles strictly around me.
“Don’t do that, Jen. I’ll come hard and quick if you do that.”
She grinned again as her tongue swept her top teeth and I bit my lip at the pure sexuality she emitted. “Then fuck me.”
I wrapped one arm around her waist as I placed the other under her arse before I powered into her hard and brutally.
“Oh god, yes” she cried out as her head rested on my shoulder and I gave her everything she wanted and demanded.
“Harder, damn you. Fuck me like you wanna hurt me!” she shouted with ferociousness at me and I frowned and stopped immediately. My dick was weeping at the sudden stillness but her words clogged my throat.
“What did you say?”
She opened her eyes and stared at me. “I asked you to fuck me hard, Ethan” she snapped as she tried to move herself on me but I enclosed her harder against my body until she couldn’t move.
“Not that part, the other part?”
She swallowed and I watched her throat restrict and loosen as she shrugged nonchalantly. “JEN!”
She jolted at the tone in my voice but she diverted her face away and stared down the alley at another couple who were currently just about to climax if their moans were anything to go by.
“Answer me, baby” I asked softly, my heart breaking at her self-hatred.
She shook her head and refused to turn her beautiful face to me so I cupped her chin and made her look at me but she closed her eyes. “Stop fucking defying me at every turn.”
She pushed harshly at my chest. “Let me go if you’re not gonna nail the shit out of me.”
“What the hell?” I choked out as my eyebrows hit my hairline, “What the fuck, Jen. Where did you go? This talk isn’t you.”
She twisted her lips cruelly at me and my stomach lurched at the vice in her expression. “Picked it up off a couple of guys the other day whilst they each nailed the fuck out of me” she shrugged casually as my heart blasted to pieces inside my chest, the force of it reverberated through my whole body and crashed into my brain as I registered what she had just said.
I dropped her to her feet and stared at her as the amorous couple screamed their indication that they had just come but I just stared at the woman in front of me, the woman so full of hatred and abhorrence that she gave herself freely to hide the pain that was inside her.
“Problem, Ethan?” she smirked and I had to fight the urge to wipe the smugness from her face.
“Please tell me you didn’t mean that, that you were lying to hurt me.” I pleaded but she tipped her head back and laughed manically.
“Why hurt you with lies when I can do it with the truth” she sneered and my heart beat plummeted with my stomach.
I shook my head at her, “Why, Jen? You… you’re not like that… you’re sweet, innocent, and too pure to do that.”
She laughed again as she leant into my ear and I winced as her soft breath whispered against the tender spot she had bitten. “One in my arse and one in my pussy, Ethan. Epic, fucking epic and so damn hot. Came like a fucking freight train, baby.”
I closed my eyes and held back the vomit that was rising as she patted my cheek and walked away, her laughter dying with her as she disappeared around the edge of the building.
My legs gave way and I sank down the wall, my arse grazing the brickwork on its route down as my whole body wept and bled.
“You okay, mate?” the bloke from down the alley asked and I just stared up at him with confusion masking my face but I nodded at him. “You want me to fetch someone?”
I shook my head slowly as Jen’s words bounced around my head.
One in my arse and one in my pussy, baby. Epic, fucking epic.
Picked it up off a couple of guys the other day whilst they each nailed the fuck out of me.
Harder, damn you. Fuck me like you wanna hurt me!
I had destroyed her spirit, demolished her gentleness and completely obliterated her soul in my endeavour to gain her selfishly for myself. My utter determination to fix her had been the very thing that had broken her. That had broken us.
That had massacred my own soul.
Chapter 26
As we stepped off the stage at the end of our performance two weeks later I saw her, but it wasn’t her. It wasn’t the Jen I knew. This Jen was dressed in a black leather skirt so short it could have been mistaken for a belt. The tight red Basque that hugged her chest screamed sin and the high heeled knee length boots shouted that she wanted to be fucked good and hard. Her gorgeous wavy chestnut hair was now black, straight and sleek and her make-up harsh and tarty in contrast to the natural look she usually went for.
It broke my heart and made my dick hard.
Her head flung back as she laughed loudly at something Kirk, a Room 103 roadie, said to her as her hand rested on his bicep and he flexed in his flirtation with her.
A growl erupted from my chest as I stalked over to them.
Her dark gaze shifted to me and I gasped at the emptiness and hollowness in her eyes but it wasn’t that what shocked me; it was the wide eyes and the dilated pupils that haunted me – she was high on coke.
Holy fuck, no!
“What the
fuck, Jen?” I hissed at her as I grabbed her arm and yanked her into a corner of the corridor as Bulk and Angel emerged with a gaggle of giggling women.
She pulled her arm back harshly as she sneered at me, “What the fuck, Ethan?” she mocked and I closed my eyes as I fought to rein in my anger at her self destruction.
“Why are you doing this, baby?”
She spat in my face, proper hoicked and spat at me. “Jesus Christ!” I hissed as I wiped her deposit off my cheek.
“I told you to never call me that again. In fact don’t ever fucking talk to me again, that would be perfect.”
She stiffened when Bulk approached us, his rage and fury eating up what little oxygen surrounded us. “You wanna explain why you look high, little lady?”
She snorted and rolled her bugged out eyes, “Maybe that’s because I am high, Bulk.”
He hissed through his teeth as he growled from his chest before he gripped her arm and dragged her down the corridor kicking and screaming in protest as he pulled her into a room prior to slamming the door shut behind him.
“Okay, Boss?” Jax asked in his own special way but his words were filled with concern for me and I smiled sadly.
“She’s fucking stoked.”
He frowned and cocked his head. “Coke?”
I nodded as he whistled in and closed his eyes in despair. “She’s hurting, Boss but you need to drag that shit out of her, ya’ hear me?”
I sighed and nodded again. “I hear ya’, Jax.”
He nodded and patted my arm before he stalked off towards the dressing rooms and pulled his phone from his pocket as was his routine at phoning E after every performance.
Thrilling Heaven (Room 103) Page 16