Her horror at his words was partly because a tiny, helpless corner of her heart feared he might be right. “I’m sorry,” she managed. “I just can’t believe that. Even when God says no to us, he’s still God. He’s still there. He still cares.”
Adrian tossed the funeral program on a stack of magazines and gave her a hard look. “You honestly think there’s a place with streets of gold? And lions and lambs walking around? And a mansion with your name on the door? Really?”
“I have to,” she retorted. “I’m a Christian, Adrian. I’m a born-again Christian. So, yes Jesus is alive today–and will always be my king. Forever. The Bible says that heaven is real, and so I believe it’s real. That’s not . . . I’m not still searching for those truths. Those are settled. And when I get to heaven, my friend Jisoo will be there too.”
“Jisoo’s dead!” It wasn’t said with meanness, but Adrian sprang to his feet and paced in desperation. “Cancer destroyed her, her heart stopped, and she’s gone. End of story. Gone, sweetie. I hate to break it to you, but people just die. My uncle went to Afghanistan and he died. They brought his shot-up body home in an army transport plane in a casket with a flag on it. I was right there and I saw it. And we felt like . . . awful, but we said goodbye and we dried our tears and that was it! That’s what mature people do.”
Rachel Marie shrank into the corner of his expensive couch, the pain of this discussion shearing deep wounds into her soul. “So you really think the entire thing of our faith is just . . . nothing.”
He sat back down and tried to take her hand, but sensed her resistance and backed away with a tired smile. “It’s not nothing. Your faith is good. It makes you a better person. It’s part of what makes you the woman I love. It brought comfort to all those people tonight. I guess that’s good.”
Her eyes were growing wet. “But you still think it’s a big fake. That we’re all comforting ourselves with a fairy tale. That all of those people who stood up in the church and talked about their hope of a reunion, about the resurrection when Jesus comes . . . you don’t think it’s true. Any of it. You basically think I lied to Jisoo’s parents back there.” The agony of even saying the words tore at her. She could feel the relationship collapsing right there in the room, like a melting glacier tumbling down to destruction.
Adrian walked over to a picture window and looked out at the moonlit sky and the stars blinking over the hills of Glendale. “Honey, I respect what you are. I’m comfortable with it. You have your beliefs; I have mine. And I can coexist with yours and live by your rules. Like your dad does. But I guess I’m just a realist. We’re here, babe. You and me. Out there in the sky, a billion miles away, is a bunch of galaxies. And empty space. But I honestly just don’t know where the golden streets are. Or how to get there.”
She went over and stood next to him, trying to recover some semblance of still being a couple. Was there something here yet to save? Did she share in this good man’s honest doubts?
“I don’t know what to do,” she blurted out. “I’m in love with you; I totally am. You’re good to me; we have a great time together. You’re thoughtful and kind. But the biggest thing in my life is Jesus. I believe in him; I believe he’s alive and in heaven now, loving me and my friends and answering my prayers. And if you’re not willing to consider that, then I don’t think we have a future.”
He stared at her, a flush beginning to build up around his neck. “You’re kidding me.”
“I’m not kidding you. I’ve never been more serious.”
“Oh my God,” he bit out. “Look at what we have. Together, I mean. Babe, we can be . . . just happy. We can have it all. I think you’re gorgeous. I think you’re amazing. I think you’re an awesome teacher who’s going to land an even better job next time out, and if you don’t, it doesn’t matter because you can just move in here and sit by the pool and be happy. As my wife or not my wife, I don’t care which. And if you want to chuck all that because you’re a hundred percent locked-in positive some invisible deity made the whole universe in a week, then I don’t know what to say. But if you’re crazy enough to dump all this and dump me to prove some point about ‘Look how much I love and obey Jesus,’ well, then trust me, we are done. Because that’s just plain nuts. And I’m not going to spend all my life partnered up with nuts no matter how beautiful my libido thinks you are.”
He finished his speech in one breath, capped by a sharp, vicious snort. “Sorry,” he spat out. “But not really. I guess I had to get that out.”
CHAPTER THREE
Pastor Sue Baines, single, in her mid-fifties, bustled around New Hope Church each weekend, greeting people and distributing hugs like they were M&M’s. She had volunteered years ago to organize the church’s mission program, and did such a stellar job of it she retired from a lucrative banking job for a lower-paying full-time position with the church.
“You’ll like this place. I promise,” Pastor Sue said as she and Rachel Marie entered the restaurant. It was a cozy eatery with black-and-white checkered tabletops. The pair ordered plates of steaming hot pasta and small dinner salads and then bowed their heads for grace before sampling the bread sticks. They gossiped about Rachel Marie’s college years until the main course arrived.
“So what’s this big opportunity you have for me?”
“I hope you love adventure.”
“It all depends. What are you getting me into?”
Sue leaned forward. “How would you feel about spending a year in Bangkok?”
“What?” The idea was too preposterous to even dent her consciousness. “Bangkok?” She stifled a snicker.
“What’s so funny?”
Rachel Marie shook her head. “Well, it’s funny because years ago, my older brother went there on a mission trip. He had quite a time, got lost overnight, drugged by some rip-off people, almost got his throat cut in a back alley.”
Sue blanched. “Really? But he was okay?”
“Yeah. He finally hooked up with some missionaries and they got him home to his team. But it was a hairy ride. I was something like eight, and I still remember him coming home and telling us all about it. My parents freaked out.”
“Oh dear.” Sue pretended to sag. “This may be a tough sell.”
“Hang on a minute. Did you say a year? In Thailand?”
“Uh huh. A school year.” Sue pulled out a slip of paper with a long email on it. “New Hope has a kind of quasi-adoptive relationship with Bangkok Christian School, which is a pretty big mission outfit in the capital city. When it launched, we provided some funding and actually are still covering salaries for three of the teachers. So we have a big vested interest.”
“And . . . what? They need someone like me?”
Sue nodded. “This just came in. A sixth-grade teacher from Australia, all at once, pulled out of the program. So this coming year, they’re short by one. Pastor Mike popped over the other day and said, ‘Well, how about Rachel Marie?’ That was before he heard about, you know, all the layoffs where you work. Which I’m sure is just plain infuriating, but this might be the perfect bail-out.”
“I didn’t think about that.”
“Well, hey, give me some reaction. Am I barking way up the wrong tree? Any chance at all?”
“Well, I mean . . .” Rachel Marie was flustered. “There are a hundred things to think about. You’re right; I’m currently unemployed, at least officially. But I didn’t wake up this morning planning to sever all ties with the, you know, So Cal network. Then there’s . . .” Her voice trailed off. Adrian’s no longer a factor. She sensed the need to slow things down. “Can you give me some more info? All I know about Bangkok is some pictures Bucky brought back. That and the fact that he said it’s incredibly hot.”
“Sure.” Sue took another bite and dabbed at her mouth. “Let’s see. The school’s very nice; you can go on the web site and check it out. Good buildings, air conditioned all the way. Classrooms are state of the art with computers and projectors and white boards. It’s no
t exactly in downtown Bangkok, but just a few miles off the main craziness of the city. Trees, shade, flowers, and all that.”
Good so far. “Is it a big school?”
“It really is. I think, K-12, they have something like a thousand students.”
“Wow. That is big. But why’s it all in English?”
“Easy. These families want their kids to get ahead in life. Most of these parents are fairly well off, forward-thinking people. Some of them have traveled extensively. So they want to invest in making sure their children are fluent in English. Which is still the lingua franca of the world, they say.”
“I seem to remember Bucky came home and told us the entire country is, like, 98% Buddhist?”
Sue nodded in agreement. “Yeah.”
“It’s . . . what? ‘Bangkok Christian School,’ right? But the whole country’s Buddhist. Why would anybody send their kids to this place?”
“That’s the amazing thing. These parents are so eager for their children to get an Americanized education the majority simply wink at the fact their kids are in a Christian school. For them it’s a kind of benign ‘necessary evil.’”
“Wow.” Rachel Marie was impressed. “So all day long, we can have Christian prayers, Bible classes, and everything?”
“Yeah. The whole nine yards. The team tells me it’s wide open. You have worship with your kids every morning. You can talk to the kids about Jesus, put posters up on the walls, read the Bible to them, everything. If you want to wear a Jesus T-shirt or hat to class, it’s your choice.”
The incongruity of this kind of bold opportunity made her mind reel. Here in California, she found it difficult to stifle her natural impulses to tell her public school children how much Christ meant in her life, to say a prayer with a student whose home life was falling apart. What would it be like to arrive at a classroom in the morning and be able to just let her faith “all hang out”?
“That’s amazing. I mean, to go to a Buddhist country and then be able to witness right there in school.”
“Yeah. That part of it’s pretty awesome.”
“What’s the pay like?”
“Well, that’s not exactly the strong part of my sales pitch . . .”
“Lay it on me.” Rachel Marie looked down at her empty plate. “I’m about as buttered up as you’re going to find me.”
“Okay, then. Like I said, New Hope still covers a few salaries for people we sent over, but these days, their tuition stream is pretty good, with all of those well-to-do Thai families writing checks every month.”
“So how much of it comes my direction?”
“With the exchange rate, it comes to about $1400 a month.”
“What? Oh, come on. You can’t live on that!”
“That’s where you’re wrong. First of all, most of the teachers stay in pretty nice apartment complexes nearby, and the rent is only $350.”
“Is it a dive?”
“No, not at all. Three-fifty gets you a very decent place in Bangkok.”
“Yeah, but what about everything else?”
“That’s just it. You don’t really have a lot of expenses. Food is dirt cheap. The school provides a free lunch every day. The rest of the time, you can cook for yourself–and groceries are practically nothing. Or there are a million little food stalls on every corner, and Pastor Mike came back saying it was pretty hard to spend more than about three dollars for a hot meal.”
“So it’s kind of a year where you tread water financially.”
“Yeah.” Sue fished out a credit card and motioned for their waiter. “For someone who’s single and doesn’t have a mortgage grinding along back in California, you basically carve this unique year out of your life, and come back essentially where you left off.”
“Hmm.”
Sue gave Rachel Marie a direct look. “Tell me about this gentleman friend of yours. Would your relationship with Adrian survive a ten-month hiatus?”
A sense of disquiet stole over Rachel Marie as she looked down at her hands.
“Come on.” Sue tried to tease an answer out of her. “‘Fess up. Where are things with you guys? I’ve seen you with him at church at least a couple times. Are you engaged-to-be-engaged? I take it things are fairly serious.”
“We broke up last week. So . . .” She sighed wearily, remembering the outburst in Adrian’s living room.
“I’m so sorry. And it’s unfixable? Nothing you want to talk about?”
“I don’t think it would help. I probably shouldn’t have ever gotten involved with him, but he was a gorgeous hunk and I put my fragile little pitty-pat heart out there where he could get to it.”
“That’s a tough one. And things finally imploded?”
“Yeah, you could say that. We went to my best friend’s funeral the other night, and he was strong and wonderful and sweet. Then all at once, it comes spilling out that he thinks the resurrection and eternal life and sea-of-glass reunions are a bunch of hogwash. So any marriage we ever have will have him rolling his eyes and laughing at me behind my back.”
“That’s not going to work, then, is it?”
The stark assessment hung in the air between them. The waiter, sensing a lull, timidly approached with a credit card slip.
“Can I get you ladies anything else?”
“Huh uh.” Sue scribbled a tip and gave him a perfunctory smile. “Thanks for everything. It was great.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Rachel Marie took a final sip of water, trying to regain some emotional equilibrium. “Well, you’ve got a big bag of my dirty laundry to fret over. So what do we do now?”
“About Thailand?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Here it is. We have about two weeks to let you pray on it and talk to . . . you know, your parents and brother. See what they say. But by the end of the month, if it’s not you, we have to go scrape somewhere for a Plan B.”
“Yeah. Considering how I’m pretty much out of options anyway, I may as well get on with life. Which . . . no good reason a year in Bangkok couldn’t be the kickoff to that new life.”
Sue nodded. “Well, look. Can I tell you a couple of big things?”
“Sure.” She found herself drawn to this compassionate new friend.
Sue reached over and put a comforting hand on Rachel Marie’s arm. “It’s God’s will to have your friend Adrian in his kingdom. That would be the ideal–to have him somehow catch the same fire that made you fall in love with the Lord. But for you and the Christian choices you have to make for your life right now, I totally affirm your decision. Because if the state of things had already bothered you the last four months, those anxieties wouldn’t all of a sudden have gone away if and when you became Mrs. Adrian Morris. So from where I sit, you find the man God leads you to find, or you wait.”
Pastor Baines offered a self-deprecating shrug, and Rachel Marie loved her for what came next. “I’ve been waiting for fifty-four blooming years, but Jesus had treated me really all right. You watch; my studly Christian guy is just waiting in the wings. And so’s yours.”
“Yeah.” Down deep where it was hard to make a confession, she suspected a gaping finality to last week’s breakup. “What’s the second thing?”
Sue hesitated. “Well, I’ve tried to give you a nice picture of what we have to offer, but let me make a confession as well. Because it wouldn’t be fair not to.”
“Huh oh.”
“It’s just this. Yes, BCS is an amazing place. I mean, to have a thousand students hearing the gospel in the heart of Bangkok is pretty awesome. But the fact is that Bangkok Christian School seriously needs help. And it’s why Pastor Mike and I are specifically trying to recruit you.”
“How come?”
She sighed. “A thousand kids is a lot. But three years ago it was 1,300. We’ve got some big, blockbuster challenges, and they’re starting to take a toll.”
“Like what?”
“Well, the fact is that we need some superstar teachers. Here
we are in Bangkok. The country’s already got a good school system with highly educated teachers, kids wearing uniforms, getting high marks, grabbing AP classes. Everything we’ve got here, they’ve got too. And then Bangkok Christian School comes into town like the new sheriff and says, ‘We offer a distinct advantage.’”
“And don’t you?”
“We’re trying. But here’s what we need and don’t have. We need a few people who are just teacher-magazine-cover types. First, a lot of our teachers at BCS are Thai. They don’t speak English much better than their students. Stiff accent, a lot of flubbing verb tenses. So parents who expect their children to come home sounding like what they see on HBO at night, it’s not happening to their level of satisfaction.”
“Okay. What else?”
“This is from our side, but my heart just burns to send over a few people who have what you’ve got. An on-fire relationship with Jesus, but you’ve still got the smarts to present it in a sweet and funny way that has some charm and doesn’t turn off the natives.”
“Ah.” Rachel Marie nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”
“I know you can. Then the third thing is that Pastor Mike and I want to start building this nucleus. Maybe two, three, four teachers like you. Red-hot good. Pretty, funny, perfect English, brilliant teacher. Get parents talking. And then in the hallways of the school, we start getting some buzzworthy chemistry going even among teachers. Other staffers see how it’s going for you, you guys hang around together, they begin to get the idea. But one way or another, we’ve got to get the word out on the mean Bangkok streets that BCS has recruited a ringer from Glendale, California, and all the families with kids in sixth grade had better come check it out.”
Rachel Marie could tell her face was flushing with the fulsome words of praise. “Can I ask you a really dumb thing?”
Sue grinned. “I specialize in dumb answers to brilliant questions, not the other way around, ha ha. But try me.”
“Actually, I think I could do all that you’re saying. I hope that doesn’t sound like bragging. But you know, we all have spiritual gifts and spiritual gaps. Anyway, all the stuff you want, I think that’s me. But my question is: how did you and Pastor Mike know that?”
Love In a Distant Land: Rachel Marie Series Book One Page 4